AN at the end.

Sailor Moon X by Starling Sinclair

Chapter 30: Sideways

March 10, 2021

Once upon a time, Sailor V and Tuxedo Kamen had been allies. In fact, she had nearly revealed her identity to him just before her 18th birthday. Two years of sporadic battles around the world and the word of the boy she loved had seemed to be a good enough reason. Even Artemis had been on board. It was that same night everything went sideways.

Sideways.

As she stared in disbelief at the glowing Princess Usagi and smiling Prince Mamoru, she wondered how different life would have been without sideways. If she could actually see straight, even now. Her heart pounded in her chest, trying to process the scene around her.

Mercury had been frantic when they arrived. She explained that Usagi had followed Tuxedo Kamen into her trap, and it could disrupt her meticulous calculations. Apparently, she did have a relationship with Tuxedo Kamen, and they'd hatch this plan in the dead of night. Ami had figured out how to amplify her barrier magic, and she would trap Zoisite and the crystals in the tower allowing for one small exit - one that Venus, Mars, and Jupiter could use to steal the crystals from under the Dark Kingdom's nose. But they had to be quick.

The stairs had seemed endless, and Venus had already grown a bit tired. Yet, she had still been ready for battle, but it wasn't a battle she stumbled into. It was an awakening.

The Moon Princess. The Silver Crystal. A forgotten Prince. They were staring at each other with such love floating in a flickering orb of magic.

Minako realized two fundamental truths at the exact same time. 1.) Usagi was her princess; and 2.) Tuxedo Kamen was her ex-fiance.

Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen. Sideways.

Her heart pounded in her ears. How? How had she not known?

She felt like she was underwater - everything slowed, muffled, and distorted. Voices were shouting, and in her periphery, she noticed Zoisite and Kunzite across the room. Energy went flying. Jupiter and Mars's powers crackled at their fingertips. A blast of dark energy hit the couple. Mamoru went one way; Usagi went the other. She watched as the Silver Crystal, embedded in the crescent of Moon Stick tumble from Usagi's fingers, then hit the ground, spinning across the floor in yet another direction.

Was someone calling her name? She couldn't tell. There was only one thing in focus.

She turned towards the crystal. Running into a slide, she moved across the floor like it was the hood of the General Lee and deftly picked up the fallen wand.

Finally, she'd found it - the Silver Crystal.

Like the acrobat she was, she rolled into a crouching position to glance at the scene around her. Then Mars toppled into her like a set of bowling pins.

Mars looked horrified. "Didn't you hear me?" she hyperventilated. "I said I got this, go for the princess."

Sideways.

The world snapped back into real-time as Venus accessed the situation. Jupiter struggled to protect Mamoru, lightning crackling as Zoisite wrangled the weakened Usagi behind Kunzite.

The Princess.

"Let her go!" Mamoru cried, draped from Jupiter's shoulder.

"Surrender the crystal!" Kunzite challenged.

"Never!" Venus growled. She knew it was true too; there was nothing in the world that would make her give up the rock in her hands. Her whole life had been leading up to this moment.

"Then we keep the Princess," Zoisite sneered.

A fireball barreled towards Kunzite, but he redirected like fly pestering him, right into Jupiter and Mamoru. "Your little cage is failing," he stated. "Doubt there's even ten minutes left. Bring us the crystal, or we drop the little princess from the roof." He didn't wait for a reply, just shimmered out of existence taking Zoisite and Usagi with a flourish of his cape.

Venus clutched the crystal to her chest before rising to her feet. The air was tense. Everyone was looking at her.

Mars stepped forward, her red heels echoing across the now silent room. Her lips trembled, and was that tears in her eyes?

Venus didn't have time to think as Mars's open palm connected with her cheek. The slap rang out. Her vision went sideways, again.

"How could you?"

Venus touched her cheek. "Ow"

"Tell me, did you let them take her?" The fire Senshi's voice trembled with emotion, with doubt and disbelief.

"Of course not." Venus wished she felt more sure with that answer.

"Then tell me why you choose a fucking rock over Usagi!"

"I didn't know you were going for the crystal!"

"Did you just not hear me or did you ignore me?"

Venus pursed her lips. She'd thought heard her name, but, in the heat of the moment, had only reacted. Would she have listened with the crystal, with everything she'd ever worked for, right there?

Fire swirled around the red Senshi. Her mouth was opening, surely to deliver some scathing remark. If Venus was being honest with herself, she probably deserved it. Sideways.

"Stop it."

Mamoru's command shook the room. His voice was not that of the shy, forlorn med student she'd loved, but of a prince from another lifetime. He slid off Jupiter's shoulders, eyes locked on Venus. "Fighting amongst ourselves won't save Usagi. Can I have a moment with her? Alone?"

Jupiter nodded, placing her hand on Mamoru's shoulder before moving towards the stairwell they had burst from. Mars sneered, the fire around her dying out before following. For her part, Venus just shivered in place.

Mamoru limped to her, a wry smile on his face. It should have felt out of place to see his face, one she'd look at so many times, on the battlefield in archaic armor. Yet, it wasn't. It was like it was always supposed to be this way. It was familiar. He stood in front of her, intimately close. That closeness you only have with people you've seen naked. Reaching out he touched the cheek Mars had slapped. His fingers a gentle caress, a memory of what was once between them.

"That may leave a bruise for a bit," he whispered. "Though, I'm sure your Senshi magic makes you heal faster."

She really hadn't processed any of this. Standing before her was her ex-fiance, wearing armor instead of a tuxedo and domino mask. A face so familiar in more ways than one, and she wondered how had she not noticed before. Did she just not want to? Did he know her? Or was he just now noticing too?

She didn't know her hands were trembling until the crescent of the Moon Stick tapped against her collar bone. This was all too much.

"Were you ever going to tell me, Minako?" he asked, his voice soft, curious.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" she parroted back.

His smile softened, though his hand dropped. "I was going to tell the day we called it off. I had been trying to find the right time for a while."

"So why didn't you?"

He shook his head. "We broke up Mina. Why would I?"

"That's fair." Her vision grew blurry as the tears forming threatened to spill. She had so much to say. So many questions. But there was no time. The ultimatum counted down like a ball drop on new year's, inevitable. They had a princess to save. But there was one question she had to ask.

She prayed silently to the crystal to give her strength.

"Why did you let him die?" Her voice cracked. Mamoru would do anything to protect someone. She knew that in her core. Yet, all those years ago, Tuxedo Kamen had let the love of her life, her Alan, die. He'd chosen to do that, hadn't he? Her hatred for Tuxedo Kamen mixed with her love for Mamoru and the bitterness of loss. She gripped the Moon Stick even tighter.

"Mina, I didn't let him die. I had to choose. Him or you."

The sob tore through her without her consent. She wasn't even sure when she'd stopped trying to fight the tears. It was just all so much. So sideways. Unsure if the word would even be coherent, she blubbered on. "Why me though? I would have gladly died for him."

He wrapped his arms around her, and the coldness of the metal on her cheek helped sober her.

"I know you would have," he whispered near her ear, "But then where would we be? Where would the world be without Sailor Venus? Who would have ever found Mars or Moon? Who else would have died from youma? And as much as I love Usagi, do you think she could have done this on her own? Without you or the others?"

She knew he was right. She'd known for a long time, but admitting it meant letting go of the anger, and that's really all she had left.

"But he would be alive."

"For how long? Until the Dark Kingdom destroyed us all? It had to be you. Even he knew that."

He knew that? Venus pulled away, wiping snot and fluids from her face and refusing to acknowledge the weird smudge on Mamoru's breastplate. She looked into his eyes, trying to read between the lines.

"What do you mean he knew?"

She could read the subtle ticks in his face that told her he was struggling to find the right words. So she pressed him. "What did Alan know?"

"He was always there with you," Mamoru said. "For every battle. I knew who he was, even if I didn't know who you were. Hell, he found me for that case in Hawaii. I knew he loved you because why else would anyone get that close to danger? Did you ever even wonder what I had to go through? That I had to pick between someone who could stop these monsters or between my friend?"

She had forgotten that they had been friends. She'd joked that the boys were teaming up against her and that's why she needed Katrina. Alan had even pushed her to possibly revealing their identities because he thought it was great that she could have a real partner. One that could follow her into danger instead of watching from the sidelines.

Mamoru closed his eyes. His voice was cracking too. "We talked about what-ifs, and that if it ever came down to it, I should protect you. I was young and dumb so I told him of course. I didn't actually think that it would happen. So, so, when that moment came. I could only carry one... He looked at me, and said that I'd promised. So I took you. I carried you away from the burning building. I had every intention of going back, but then there was the explosion…"

Oddly, she couldn't picture it so well anymore. She'd been stunned, her reasoning foggy. There was fire, and hands, and he suddenly wasn't there. Deep down, she knew Tuxedo Kamen hadn't acted maliciously, but she couldn't let her anger die. She didn't want to, because if she did, that meant he was really dead. So she'd let it poison her. Poison her relationship with a potential ally, poison her friendships with her fellow guardians. She'd hurt people because she had been hurt.

In the end, he'd chosen the right path under pressure. She looked at the crystal in her hands. Could she say the same about herself?

There were four little gems in the hilt of the wand. Red, blue, green.. And yellow. Her thumb brushed over the last stone. She wasn't alone anymore, and she couldn't hold onto this poison. It would cost her the mission. It would cost her everything she had left. Slowly, she let the wand lower from her chest and focused on the ally in front of her.

"So, you mean to tell me, I could have been bitching to you about all this Dark Kingdom bullshit for years?" Her voice was still weak, but he still snorted.

"Yeah, you could have."

"We can't give them the crystal."

"No, but a I have plan."

"Is it to blind them by glistening the afternoon sun off your blindingly shiny armor?"

"I'll save that for plan B."

She nodded. "So, what do we do, my Prince?"

"I need you to make me a promise."

XXX

Regaining a lifetime of memories hit harder than any liquor she'd ever consumed. The world was spinny and confusing, and for a while, it was really hard to tell Usagi and Serenity apart. So, when the blast came, she really couldn't defend herself. Or Mamoru. She could barely focus when she felt someone grab her, and it wasn't until she was somehow on the roof that she realized she had been captured by the bad guys.

At least sobering up from memory overloads was much faster than sobering up from whiskey. However, princess dresses weren't very effective against wind chill.

Mercury's barrier was failing. She watched the blue and pink wall cracking and resealing, cringing with each gust of wind it let in. The two Dark Kingdom generals were arguing in hushed tones behind her. She supposed she should try to eavesdrop, try to learn some valuable information. After all, she wasn't going to be able to escape two Dark Kingdom douchebags on her own without the crystal.

The fire escape door swung open, and the Senshi and Mamoru stepped out onto the roof. Her heartbeat quickened at the sight of Mamoru, of Endymion. He was okay. Usagi rose to her feet, but Kunzite gripped her neck before she could take a step. She pawed helplessly at his fingers.

He jerked her in front of him before calling out, "Do we have a deal?"

As if on cue, the barrier collapsed like a basket unweaving. Kunzite would be throwing her over the wall any second now. There was no way Venus was going to let go of that crystal.

"I have a counteroffer," Mamoru called out. She shivered as something cool settled in her bones. What could they possibly have to offer?

"A counteroffer? What do you think this is? Let's Make a Deal?" Zoisite jeered. "Give us the crystal before we hurl the princess off this roof."

Mamoru ignored the general's taunts, stepping forward with an authority that was all Endymion. "Let her go, and I will go with you, willingly."

Zoisite scoffed at the proposition, though Kunzite's fingers around her neck slacked ever so slightly. Was he considering Mamoru's offer? She wanted to scream at him that his plan was the dumbest idea she'd ever heard, but she knew she'd be cut off before she could utter a second syllable.

Suddenly, beside her, darkness radiated. A portal opened. A few hours ago, Usagi would never have understood why a woman stepped out - a tall, red-haired woman wearing the tightest dress she had ever seen and carrying a staff with an ominous dark crystal. But Serenity knew this woman. This woman who'd destroyed worlds - Queen Beryl.

Her heels clicked across the concrete of the rooftop. "Willingly, you said Endymion?"

Her voice cut like knives. Mamoru visibly tensed. In another life, he'd refused to go with the woman standing before them now. Would it have made a difference? Did it even matter now?

"Her for me. Willingly."

Beryl thrummed her fingers against her staff, considering. "And if I don't? If I just kill the little moon brat now and be done with it?"

"Then I'll kill myself and you'll never have me." Usagi's eyes widened. He wouldn't.

Kunzite's fingers tightened around her throat as she whimpered, "Mamo-chan."

"You can't be serious," Zoisite interjected, turning around to face his master. "Let the brat go and she gets the crystal! She could destroy everything we've…"

"Silence!" Beryl's power was frightening and dark; it knocked Zoisite back. Kunzite's fingers twitched against her throat, and she realized he wanted to help his fellow general.

"The brat has no idea what she's doing," Beryl crooned, sauntering towards Mamoru. "Besides, my transition is nearly complete. Metallia stirs. The crystal will be useless against it shortly. Far sooner than the idiot could learn to wield it. And if her mother was anything to go by, the crystal isn't as powerful as they say…"

"Do we have a deal?" Mamoru insisted.

The smile on Beryl's lips split her face like a dagger. "Kunzite, my dear, let the girl go and scrape that useless man off the roof."

The General holding her made no comment as he released her. She rushed forward into Mamoru's arms.

"You can't do this," she whispered. "I can't lose you again."

He kissed the crown of her head. "I love you. This was the only way, Usako."

"No! You could have fought! You could have…" she trailed off as she felt his nose brushing through her hair as he shook his head no.

"You need the crystal, and Beryl… She's a lot of things, but, she won't hurt me. As long as I cooperate."

He was right of course. Beryl wouldn't kill him. She wanted him too much for that. But that didn't mean she couldn't hurt him.

"Besides," he consoled, pushing her out so he could look into her eyes, "if there's one thing I know, it's that I always find my way back to you."

"What if you don't?"

"Then come rescue me, Sailor Moon."

He pressed his lips to hers while she desperately tried to claw at the armor on his chest, as if she could only grab hold of him she could keep him for doing this incredibly foolish thing. But the kiss ended after just a few seconds, and he pushed past her. She watched him march towards Beryl, who held her arms wide like a trap, wrapping them around him like a spider with a fly. Zoisite was draped over Kunzite's shoulder, a small trickle of blood seeping from his mouth.

"No…" She did even realize she was saying it out loud. Her feet started moving after him, and she would have run straight into that dark portal if strong arms hadn't closed around her. White gloves, golden hair, a big red bow.

"Let me go!" she shrieked. "We have to stop him."

Venus's grip tightened, and she dropped like an anchor, knocking Usagi off her feet.

They were walking into the darkness now. Beryl went first.

"No! We can't let him do this!"

Mamoru followed. He looked over his shoulder with a sad smile.

She struggled against the grip with everything she had. The resistance caused her to tip over, and her vision went sideways.

"We have to let him do this," Venus whispered. "Please, Usagi."

"NO!"

Kunzite carried Zoisite through the portal, and then they were gone.

XXX

*Waves very shyly* Hiiiiiiii…..

So, sideways actually describes my life right now.

Turns out that taking 4 graduate-level classes, stress with work denying me EFLMA, general Covid anxiety, and trying to finish a CYOA fic was more than I could handle. Somewhere in here someone fell on my cracked sidewalk, an entire plumbing line was ripped up, and my monster-in-law and her mother decided to go through an intense divorce from each other. So, this took a backseat for a while.

Then Christmas fell apart. So I was going to resume everything in 2021. And as I finally settle back in at being forced into a new nightmare situation at work… My husband caught Covid from an urgent care visit at the beginning of February. Thankfully, I had a plan and I was able to get him to a hospital before I went down, and we are all "recovered," though "fully" is still to be determined. Oh, and I'm taking 3 graduate courses this spring.

So, that's the ongoing saga of my life.

But good news! I signed this fic up for the Senshi/Shittenou 2021 Fallow Bang so I can focus on finishing it this year. I'm going to estimate there's another 60k of story left of this, but, I'm in the home stretch! New updates will almost certainly be infrequent and random, so I apologize for that in advance. But, I do think there's some good story in store, so I hope the wait is worth it.

And I'd really like to thank everyone who comments and reads this fic. It brings me hope on days where things seem really dark. Your words keep me inspired and well wishes keep me inspired. Bonus thanks to my hubby, who I forced beta this chapter for me, and says that in his mind, Beryl creepily gropes Mamoru's ass as they exit into the dark portal. I mean, that's a fair interpretation.