Author's Notes - True story, the idea for this short one shot was born from actual autocorrect typos my phone made. Which is why I kept laughing at the opening line of this fic when I started writing this yesterday for day 3 of Netteflix week (the prompt this uses is Expectations). Enjoy!
Felix Huge Fraldarius was a 5'8" (5'8 1/2" to be more precise) tall man who was short on patience.
Today's target? The autocorrect on his girlfriend's new phone.
She'd been excitedly texting him about all the new features on said phone, no longer encumbered by all the quirks from her old one, storage space and overheating being the main offenders. While he could watch her message him all day in exuberance on the messaging platform she previously could not access on mobile - again, lack of storage space and overheating being the key culprits - the known fact that Annette was not the most precise or concise via text led to some...interesting messages.
Namely because the only thing her old phone had over her new one was that it had accumulated years upon years of predictive text and words unique to her.
This new phone? Not so much. Not yet, anyway.
When he lovingly teased her a little over an unfortunate autocorrect typo, something that would usually garner a pointed response of Felix Hugo Fraldarius on her end (it was a long-standing bit he never tired of, really) , lightning struck twice and thus, Felix Huge Fraldarius was sent in its stead as an autocorrected bastardization.
He should have been warmed over the fact she'd already taught her phone Felix and Fraldarius prior to chatting with him. But it was a little hard to focus on the positives when Annette immediately launched into a chorus of 'OMG' and 'I AM SO SORRY'. And then into a second refrain of those words when she realized the train tickets she'd purchased for them on her phone had the same unfortunate autocorrect mistake. And that apparently she'd written in her own name as Annette Fanzine Dominic.
While Felix was of the opinion that she was a worthy subject to dedicate an entire independently-created book chalk full of beautifully-illustrated pictures and elaborate stories, that was besides the point.
Which was that he got the impression she was apologizing for more than a silly, but amusing, typo and he didn't have the faintest clue why.
Left with no other avenues to address this since she was living in Fhirdiad for work at the moment - it was the very reason she was buying train tickets, even - he bit the bullet and asked.
Felix: are you free to talk on the phone right now?
Annette: you're mad about this
Felix: no. the tickets will get fixed - I'm not worried about that
Felix: it's just one letter off
Felix: they can figure out it's a typo
Felix: I'd never hear the end of it if Huge was my middle name
Annette: ...that's actually the part I felt bad about
Felix: ?
Annette: ok, let's not do this through chat. I am free
Annette: same number as my old phone
Felix: k
He dialed the familiar number faster than her contact info populated on his cell. The phone rang for a split second before his girlfriend picked up.
"...Hi."
She sounded like she'd forgotten she had to take a test today. He was in for a treat, it seemed.
"Hi." he greeted back, trying to not sound stiff. While he was no stranger to untangling her thoughts, very seldom did they directly involve him so this was entirely-new territory. "Why is that typo a big deal to you?"
" Oh. " She sounded like she was being pinched. "So...you're really not mad?"
"I'm not mad. It's a new phone, things like that happen." he reassured. "I am a little confused though. Can you explain this to me?"
"I can but...this is going to sound stupid. And it might actually make you mad."
"Try me Annette."
"Ok. Well...I thought I'd hit a sore spot when my phone called you huge when...that isn't the case."
Felix wanted to point out that she wasn't a fanzine either but he sensed it wouldn't help matters. Especially when she was merely stating what he felt was obvious and he still didn't understand why that would be cause for ire.
"...I'm not following. I've been this size my entire adult life. It's not a surprise to me."
"So it doesn't bother you that you're...your size?"
"No. Why would it? It's not like my height and weight prevents me from doing what I want to do."
"Well, a lot of guys hate not being tall, especially ones who...have a lot of family members and friends who are taller."
Ah, there it was. That old chestnut of a stereotype. He never would have suspected that one to come from his five-foot-nothing girlfriend of all people.
"That's not something I'm insecure about," he explained. "It's not some personal failing that I took after my mother's side of the family for height when it's outside of my control. I don't understand why people view it as one simply because I'm a man. The only thing I dislike is being compared to people I'm not. I've spent enough of my life as a stand-in for others."
Like music to his ears, a sigh of relief filled his ear.
"You know, that explains why I got the impression you were a little sensitive about that." she confessed. "And to your point, that sort of thought never occurred to me about someone like Ashe even when he used to be shorter than Ingrid."
"Annette, I'm offended by the implication that I'm dating you because you make me look huge by comparison." he dryly commented. "For the record, I was lured by the possibility that you'd sing for me."
"Felix Hugo Fraldarius," she dramatically breathed, "you did not just say that."
"I did. And I'll say it again if I want to, Annette Fantine Dominic." he said in mock-defiance, barely keeping the charade alive when laughter threatened to edge into his words. "Moreover, you're cuter and smarter than I am."
"Feeeeelix, you need to stop. You're being a huge pain in the-" Annette's shrill protest went silent upon the belated realization of her word choice. "-Goddess, that was not on purpose."
"And here I thought you'd managed to find a way where I could measure up to your phone's estimation of me," he teased. "How disappointing."
"Felix, if I was going to do that, I wouldn't call you a huge pain in the butt, even though you're totally being a butt right now." she responded. "If I had to pick something, I'd say you're a huge softie."
"Am not."
"Are too. I have so much evidence to use against you it's positively incriminating. In fact, I have a huge case against you." she light-heartedly contested. "You let me hug you for as long as I need it whenever I'm having a bad day, put up with me stealing your blankets on cold mornings and you always listen to me when I need it most. Including right now. And assuming they let me on the train with that ridiculous typo, I cannot wait to do all these things with you in person again."
In his heart of hearts, Felix knew her accusations to be true. He did all those things and more. And while it was also true that he failed to live up to others' expectations frequently enough, it didn't matter to him. He was measuring up in the ones that mattered.
"Me too Annette. Me too."
And that was enough for him.
