Disclaimer: Naruto and Touhou project belong to their respective owners, and I will delete this story if requested.
The Changing of Way I
Never in Naruto's life had he imagined humans were capable of such things. His mental state was a mess. His erased memory had been merely transferred to his other self instead of being erased. Naruto's true memory had flooded his mind, washing away traces of cheerfulness to give path for misery and rage. Misery because what Yukari had said was true, his life had been controlled, and misery because the happiness he'd had in the village had been nothing but fabrication.
This revelation hadn't been the only thing he'd gone through. As soon as the memory flood stopped, he'd had to endure the absolute evil of humanity—a suffering greater than anything else in his experience. Naruto would have been too terrified to cry had his willpower been weaker. And there he sat, burying his face to his knees as he hugged them to his chest.
Wind picked up and rain fell, coating Naruto's red coat with leaves and water. It was cold, but Naruto didn't care. He knew he would not die from cold, and he always liked storms. It had been the safest period for him. However, he knew he should return. Reimu was precious, despite only knowing her for a week and the fact she saw him as an assistant instead of a family.
Sense of direction lost, Naruto chose a random direction. He knew the forest had borders; leaving the forest was a matter of time if he kept walking. But his body had another decision. He sat under a tree, resting until the exhaustion vanished. Closing eyes was the last thing Naruto wanted. Repressed memories would always surface if he did, and the absolute evil would tag along.
The absolute evil was not pure evil. Instead, it was the prevalence of evil. Naruto had seen indescribable evils, done out of spite and out of love. Some people loved something to the point of committing atrocities to nurture and protect what they loved. No matter how good and pure, inflicting pain was inevitable. Someone would always get hurt, and victims will always be present, in one way or another.
Naruto wished villagers had been there to call him names. He would feel he wasn't a human, not a part of their kind. Naruto though whether rejecting his humanity would worth it. The absolute evil did not belong to any particular world; it belonged to every human in every world in which they existed. Such a universal manifestation existed for humans. Does it exist for other beings? Why does it matter?
Naruto caught himself off guard. His line of thought had changed. The old Naruto—the cheerful, confident child who wanted nothing but a family—and the other Naruto—the wrathful, freed prisoner who thought that everything except freedom and himself was meaningless and painful—had united to form the new Naruto, leaving him unable to think straight. His mind split between being with people and pushing them away.
A heavy voice resounded within Naruto, 'You're still too early for existential crisis, brat. Then again, father forced you to meet the absolute evil before puberty as well'
Father? thought Naruto, my father or yours?
In the Hakurei Shrine, Reimu was enjoying tea with her best friend Marisa. They had cleaned the place after a storm had ruined the festivities. And since many foods were left, Marisa stayed behind to accompany Reimu, and to enjoy the leftovers. Marisa was sitting by a kotatsu, warming her feet under the heavy blanket as Reimu filled her cup. Marisa yawned, supporting her head with two hands. 'A perfect day ruined by a storm. Why today of all time? We're supposed to have a party.'
'At least you didn't get to clean everything.' Reimu left to get a cake. Upon returning, she set the cake on the table and pushed her feet under the blanket. 'Fold your feet, Mari. My feet won't fit if you extend them like that.'
'Fine, fine.'
'Why is it so warm?' Reimu peeked under the blanket, seeing Marisa's mini hakkero in activated state. 'Won't it cause a fire?'
'Nope. Where's Naruto, by the way?'
'Must be playing with Ran. Yukari likes to snatch Naruto when I'm not looking.'
'Is it time already?'
'No, let him be. He never had a happy childhood. Let him enjoy being a child while he can.'
'What kinda childhood did he have, anyway? Where did Yukari get him from?'
'A restless world. Yukari said one couldn't have a moment of peace for more than a full week. And the biggest threat to humans there are humans themselves.'
'Ah, man.' Marisa intertwined her finger behind her head and laid on her back. 'What about his clan, though? I've seen nothing but seals for killing humans in his heritage.'
Reimu didn't give an immediate answer. Instead, she took her time, savouring her cake to the last bite. 'You've seen nothing. His real heritages are in the storehouse. I put those things there because I don't like sleeping with those things. Anyway, his real heritages are plays and poems.' Reimu downed a cup of sake. 'There are songs and stories, too. Those people loved arts so much. I bet they chose to fight with seals just because seals are beautiful.'
'Why were they like that? And you spoke of them like they're dead.'
'Naruto's clan isolated themselves in a place behind Natural barrier looking for peace. They even erected a barrier to ensure their peace and safety.'
'So… Gensokyō of that world?'
'Just like Gensokyō of that world. Problem was they kept contact with the outside world, eventually leading to their demise because outsiders feared their power. And that's why the Hakurei clan is important; we maintain the great barrier and balance in Gensokyō. If any of those things goes wrong, outsiders might see what's in here and exterminate all of us.'
'Um, Reimu… you're the last Hakurei, though. What's gonna happen after you die?'
Reimu fell silent. After a while, she answered, 'That's for me to decide.'
'You!' Marisa rose, pointing at Reimu. 'It's no topic to pretend being mysterious. Tell me what's gonna happen!'
'I won't be the last Hakurei anymore; Naruto will be renamed from Naruto Uzumaki to Naruto Hakurei.'
'Adopted Hakurei ain't gonna replace you, right? Wait, that's impossible! You told me the Hakurei god refuses adoption.'
Reimu declared with her usual tone. 'Naruto won't replace me. One of our children will.'
'What!'
Walking was difficult. The ground had softened so much walking was painful. Naruto was trudging between the trees, determined to find a house in this forest. He would most likely find a witch's house, but it should be better than dying in the forest.
Entering a clearing, Naruto saw a house with a smoking chimney. The house had white walls, its front face a wooden door between two closed windows. Conjoined to the house was a tower of similar colour.
Naruto knocked on the door. 'Hello, may I enter?'
The door opened outside, forcing Naruto to step back. 'What do you want?' asked the resident. It was Alice.
Naruto, knowing he risked being slaughtered, requested shelter regardless.
From the seal, the kitsune observed Naruto. Naruto had changed. The new Naruto lacked the old Naruto's distinct hopefulness and innocence. In fact, the new Naruto resembled the other Naruto more than the old Naruto. The other Naruto, after all, was the unblemished Naruto. It would make sense for the other Naruto to prevail as the dominant aspect in the new Naruto.
However, the old Naruto was still Naruto. And it contained aspects of the true Naruto, although impure. The other Naruto had been but hidden and rejected aspects; the accepted aspects were in the old Naruto.
Both aspects of Naruto were still battling for dominance in the moment. They, despite their earlier agreement, refused to subside thus far. This state of constant fighting took a heavy toll to the new Naruto's state of mind. He'd become unstable, flipping between two aspects without control.
But several things were certain to the kitsune. The new Naruto would be unstable; his stance would jump back and forth between his two fragments. And his heart would be empty. Bonds would have to start anew, assuming Naruto would even open his heart again.
Naruto was by the fireplace, sitting with his back against its wall. He stormed Alice, who was knitting a doll, with questions. Naruto's stuttering, a result of the coldness in his body and chaos in his mind. His questions were about the difference between humans and yōkai, asked in an effort to determine whether leaving his humanity would worth it.
Alice snapped after Naruto's fifteenth. 'Stop asking questions! It was bad enough you disturbed my experiment, and now you disturb me again. Can't you see I'm busy? Some of us do, some of us don't. We're just like you humans. Each of us has our own personalities.'
'F-forgive me. I need to talk lest I fall asleep and endure… nightmares. I crying in my sleep would disturb you even m-m-more.'
Alice stopped knitting, filing Naruto with fear. He thought she would silence him. Instead, Alice took a pill from a drawer and gave it to Naruto. 'Take one of these. You won't have nightmares this way.'
'O-of course. I would not have nightmares if I… died.' Why did I say that? thought Naruto.
'It's not a poison.' Alice set beside Naruto a glass of warm water, supported by a saucer in which she rested the pill. 'It may look like normal water, but it tastes sweet. The pill's called 'butterfly dream pill'. Taking this will make you dream yourself as a butterfly.'
'Why? W-why do this to me?' I just questioned a nice action?
'I'll get in trouble with that stupid shrine maiden if you die here. And don't die here. I'll make a stew out of you if you do,' said Alice as she returned to her knitting.
A heavy voice rang in Naruto's mind, 'Who are you, brat?'
Doesn't matter, Naruto thought, Pain will always be there.
'Are you still a human?'
No. Yes. No. I. I have no answer. But I will find one.
'What are humans to you?'
Humans are humans. Scums of the world. Nothing more and nothing less.
'Aren't they lesser beings? They fight among themselves, they bring pain to themselves and other creatures, and they're capable of unspeakable evils. You've seen it yourself.'
No. Humans have their own personalities. You cannot compare individual members of a group to the entire group. Human history is full of slaughters, including the Elemental Nations', but a human is not capable of mass slaughter. Humanity's capability of great evils is because of great numbers. Alone, their evil could not begin to compare.
'And what about your father? What about those humans who committed genocides?'
Those are exceptions. Most humans can't do and don't want genocide. Goodness still exists in their hearts. Same goes with other evils; their evils are great because of great numbers. They are capable of great evils, but the opposite is also true. Number multiplies both good and evil.
'That's your answer, then?'
Yes.
'Took you long enough. Take the pill. It's a long story after this.'
'Naruto's hasn't come back yet,' mumbled Marisa.
'Maybe he's staying with—' Reimu choked, holding her neck.
Marisa smacked Reimu's nape, assisting Reimu in regurgitating a piece of candy.
'Water,' said Reimu.
'Here,' said Marisa, giving Reimu a glass of water. After Reimu had calmed down, Marisa said, 'Honestly, why do you eat so many? The wrappings are pilling here.'
'I can't get fat from eating sweets, anyway. Back to Naruto, he's staying with them tonight. It won't be his first time; Ran's teaching him to befriend the kitsune in him. Ah, that reminds me Naruto likes kitsune.'
'Won't that be dangerous, though?'
'Could be. I can exterminate it without killing Naruto, but that boy wants to befriend it. Of course, I'll kill it if harms Naruto in any way.'
A black nothingness littered with eyes appeared beside them. Yukari stepped out, saying, 'May I borrow Naruto for tonight?'
'Huh? I thought he was with you!'
'Why would I look for him if he's with me?'
'That's true. So that means… he's out there.'
Reimu took her purification rod and took off, kicking Marisa, who was in the way.
Yukari asked, 'Would you help Reimu, Marisa?'
'Eh, I'm going home. Reimu's in hunting mode. Better not get in her way.'
Naruto had awakened. He was observing Alice putting a play with her dolls as he listened to Kurama—the kitsune sealed inside him. According to Kurama, Kurama's origin, along with his siblings', was the start of what the early Uzumaki called 'humanity's great rebirth'.
Although Kurama never explained 'humanity's great rebirth' itself, he explained that a sage had created him and his siblings from fragments of a god called Shinju to assist the sage's future children in achieving peace for humanity. For their origin, Kurama and his siblings were the sage's children.
Years after Kurama's creation, Indra Ōtsutsuki had been born, followed the next year by Asura—Naruto's oldest incarnation in Kurama's knowledge.
When Asura had been ten years old and Indra eleven, the sage had forced them to meet the absolute evil before asking a set of questions: 'Do you still consider yourself a human, and if not, what are you? What are humans to you? How could you guide them towards peace?'
Naruto looked at Alice and concluded only he could hear Kurama speaking. Feeling safe, he communicated with Kurama using his thought. Strange question for a pair of children, commented Naruto in his thought.
'Children of younger age went to war that time. Just some questions are nothing.'
The questions are nothing, but the meeting with the absolute evil is worse than going to war.
'The rest of the world suffered from the effects of the absolute evil, and you suffered from staring into the absolute evil. Quite a fair trade-off, actually.'
What were our answers?
Kurama grunted, and he answered as though saying the words was painful. 'Indra said, "I am a god, just like the others in our family. Humans are inferior beings who busy themselves destroying each other instead of focusing on a goal. They can't control their impulses. Therefore, the only way for them to achieve peace is to have a superior being watching over them and forcing peace on them." Now, loathe as I was when hearing his answer, I think it's the most doable solution. The old man would be disappointed if he were here. Kaguya had tried a similar method, and it had been a failure.'
What method?
'Her method was to rob humanity of free will, leaving them with only basic instincts to live. Turned out, fighting is a human nature. Humanity degraded to a species that killed for the slightest matters. Males fought each other for females, people fought wars to eliminate competition for resources, parents killed unwanted children to reduce resource consumption, and when a—'
Enough. I know the rest.
'Well, she saw her mistake and decided to correct it. She returned their free will and absorbed their greed and hatred. This solution didn't work; it overwhelmed her, poisoning her mind so much she hated humanity for their hatred. By the way, this inspired father to craft a method to meet the absolute evil. She—'
What is this method?
'Stop interrupting me, damn it! On that note, I'm straying from the story. Where were we again?'
Kaguya.
'Really? I don't think so. Anyway, she then went to eradicate humanity. She thought that the only humans that may live in that world were humans from her descent.'
Who are her descendants?
'She's your grandmother…. I'm getting off topic again. Anyway, you said, 'I am a human, just like everyone else. The solution for peace is love and understanding.'
I was wrong, then. Love and understanding do not always result in peace. In fact, people have been trying to understand their enemies since ancient times, and some wars were and are fought because of love. You have to convince them and provide acceptable alternatives to war. If you can't, might as well talk to a tree.
'You did talk to a tree, but that's another story. The only ones who agreed with you had been peaceful in the first place. Indra saw this and pushed ahead with his solution. He tried to convince humans to make peace using force. As ridiculous as that idea sounds, the practice was even more ridiculous. He conquered every human civilisation and united them under one banner. He ruled with iron fists. Every misconduct was to be punished with heavy consequences. Even a minor theft would grant someone a life imprisonment.'
Naruto took his time, processing the information before asking. Who decided the punishment?
'He decided them himself. He travelled across the world to oversee each civilisation and deliver punishments. The thing is he didn't wait for evidence before administering punishments; he assumed everyone was honest.'
What about when he was away? His subjects could just lie and pretend to be good when he was present.
'Exactly. In fact, local ruling clans used this loophole for their own advantages. You see, whenever Indra was away, they would rule with absolute control, unopposed by their subjects. Those who did would enter a list of 'criminals' which would then be given to Indra when he returned. The only thing they had to do was bribing people to pretend to be witnesses for Indra to punish the listed people.'
Did he not research the situation beforehand? Something like that should not escape someone on that level.
'Yeah, and it's not pretty. Whenever Indra found out about this, he would have the whole ruling clan punished. He would then stay with that civilisation before leaving for another one. After he left, the people in this civilisation would fight to decide who their leader would be, often to the point of extinction. The next time he returned, he would find the civilisation either extinct or nearly extinct. To solve this, he either forced reform to that civilisation or brought them to another civilisation and forced them to integrate.'
I see. Leaving people without any leader and structure is a mistake.
'Not a mistake per se. It's a good idea if the goal is freedom. It's just that it's chaotic as fuck. Definitely not a comfortable life.'
The front door slammed open. Reimu stood there, eyes sweeping the interior of the house. 'Did the witch kidnap you?' Reimu asked Naruto.
'C-certainly—' Naruto choked.
'So she did kidnap you! Where are you, witch!?
'Damn, brat, you choked just in time to give her a wrong impression,' said Kurama.
'Witch! Come out, now!'
Dolls brandishing a wide array of weaponry surrounded Reimu. 'Don't do anything stupid. Take the boy and go home.'
Four yin-yang orbs appeared, revolving around Reimu. 'I haven't crushed a yōkai for a while. Maybe a magical moron will do.'
'Wait, let me fill my dolls first.'
'Take your time. But after this, it's a beat down!'
Naruto—eyes enhanced by his union—saw that each doll wore a unique attire and a unique variant of accessories. The differences were minor, but none of them was identical to another; a specific mix of colour, size, and pattern was present on only one doll. However, the dolls were identical.
'Time's up, Alice! Let's do it outside.'
Naruto sat by the door, observing how Reimu fought Alice. Reimu struck a doll with her rod and rushed to kick Alice. Reimu then used a barrier to launch Alice to the air before throwing charms at the witch. A doll put itself between Alice and Reimu to take the hit. Another doll shot a beam of energy towards Reimu, who evaded the attack. As a result, several trees were set on fire.
Reimu threw a handful of charms at random directions and saturated the air using her orbs. The charms redirected themselves, heading towards Alice. In response, Alice moved several dolls to take the hits. Alice then sent a doll at Reimu, controlling it to hug the latter. The doll exploded. But Reimu was unharmed, although her attire was scorched and torn.
Reimu's orbs grew bigger than an average human, and they multiplied before coming down on Alice. Alice sent a doll to each orb, sacrificing them to destroy the orbs. However, one orb slipped unchecked to her house, forcing Naruto to run away.
A formation of dolls formed. Each in the formation threw spears—which could be called needles for their size—forming a glistening rain of metal, reflecting from the clearing sky. Reimu shot each spear out of the air with charms. However, the dolls had moved while the spears had been distracting Reimu. Reimu realised their presence too late. They exploded, concussing the shrine maiden.
Alice's remaining dolls threw projectiles at Reimu. A wind blew the projectiles out of the way. Reimu rose, and she declared she would not kill Alice, but she would beat her for kidnapping Naruto. For Naruto, it was confusing. Rules were in place for battles, yet they fought to inflict as much pain as possible without killing. The rules are about beauty and fairness, thought Naruto, aren't they?
'Yes, they are.'
Naruto looked at whence the voice had come. The source was a smiling green-haired person dressed in black, blue, white dress. The latter two colours were also present in her hat, which bore a gold emblem. She wore black shoes, which sported red bows as decorations. Naruto saw she had many bows, red and white with red outnumbering the white by much, balanced so that left and right side of her were equal. She carried a piece of wood with a writing.
'You see the wood,' said Kurama, 'but you don't realise she's freaking tall! She's almost as tall as a shinigami. That's freaky!'
'I am not a shinigami, Kurama.'
'Did she just notice me speaking?'
'Yes, I do. And Naruto, follow me. You don't need to see those two disregarding the rules.'
Naruto followed her as she brought him away, wondering what kind of being she was. When they stopped, the first thing she did was informing Naruto she was a Yama.
'What kind of creature is a Yama?' Naruto wondered.
Kurama bashed his cage, breaking it open because it was no longer sealed. 'Yama are judges of the dead.'
'Correct,' said the Yama.
'Are you here to judge me?' Naruto fished a pouch on his coat, pulling a kunai connected to a string of explosive tags.
'No, I'm only here to lecture you.'
'Get that disarming smile out of you face! That is irritating! Wait, I didn't mean to say that!'
'I know. Just give it time. Your union needs it to complete. Do keep yourself in control, though. The other you is angry, angry at everything. His goal is to destroy everything, to achieve what he perceived as freedom. But what he seeks is not freedom; he seeks vengeance. And since everything real is painful for him, he would destroy everything in his path to his goal, even reality. Also, Freedom doesn't mean absence of responsibility, or pain for that matter. Responsibility is necessary for a safe live. Without it, people will be too busy staying alive to be bothered with comfort, fairness, or the like. And structures will crumble. You know what happens when structures crumble.'
Disaster, thought Naruto.
'Correct. And for that, you must return to the Elemental Nations and fulfil your fate. You will be rewarded when you succeeded, but failure will net you punishment.'
'No.'
'I will have to condemn you to hell for this. Don't think I have no authority. You consider Gensokyō your home, so I have authority to administer judgement to you.'
'I have lived in hell, and I have stared into hell.'
'The literal hell is worse than your metaphorical hell. You may break free from your fate in that world if you plead enough, but your fate in this world will be fulfilled. Someone will make sure of that.'
'Take this, brat,' said Kurama, flooding Naruto with his chakra.
A humongous, long appendage of orange chakra sprouted from Naruto's tailbone and split into nine. An orange chakra covered Naruto's person and formed a fox ear above each of Naruto's ear. Naruto could sense the Yama's intention while in this state. She wanted nothing but the best for him. But Naruto would not accept. He had suffered and been under control for too long for his liking.
Said the Yama, 'You will never have absolute freedom; responsibility will always exist.'
'W-what are my purposes?'
'In that world, your purpose is to judge world's humanity for their transgressions against the world and the gods who oversee it. If you failed to cast your judgement before the time limit, humanity will be given the ultimate punishment.'
'Let them be. I care not about strangers…. No, that's so cruel.'
'Cruel he may be, he is still you, which is why you must exercise control. Changing the topic, your purpose in this world is much less significant compared to your purpose in that world but is vital nevertheless. You're bound to someone for the future of this world.'
Bound to someone, Naruto thought, Reimu. So that's it. That is why Yukari brought me here. She did this to give me to Reimu to revive her clan.
Naruto's chakra cloak bubbled, growing thicker as the other Naruto started pushing for dominance.
Give in, Naruto thought, Let me be the dominant aspect and bring freedom for us. No, I won't disappear. We'll be one, but you won't be the dominant half. You're cruel. You are foolish. Your resistance against me will only delay the completion of our union. We'll be confused for much longer! Better than being cruel!
'Shut the fuck up!' Kurama roared. 'It's fucking confusing hearing the same voice replying to itself. And you, angry bastard, you better know what you're doing.'
I know full well what I am doing. But I'll be there to hold your anger. I won't allow it free reign over my action!
'Damn, brats. You're starting to sound the same.'
'It's wise of you to restrain him," said the Yama, "But you musn't reject him, otherwise he'll scheme behind your back and kill you when you're not looking. That said, it would be better to give him peace. The unification would be done quicker, and he would work for you instead of resisting you during the process.'
'I am manipulated again. Same approach in different places!'
The Yama struck Naruto's head, cancelling what would have been his transformation to beast form. 'You may take your time and focus on weaving both halves of you into one. But be aware: the time for eradication in the other world is drawing near.'
I will not do it.
'I trust you will change for the better. I will check on you the next time I visit. Take care.'
The Yama left.
'I will not be bound to her if she is dead,' Naruto murmured.
'I'm not giving you my power,' said Kurama.
'Why?'
'The other you won't accept this. He's still you, despite tainted by Konoha's fabrication. Some of your more preferable aspects are in him.'
'Matters not. I will not give him any chance to emerge in the new me.'
'You're just angry he rejected you this whole time. I know you feel indebted to him, just like he felt indebted enough to die and give his body so you could live. You've agreed to be one again, yet you want to reject him. You're just a vengeful traitor, scum.'
'Shut up!'
Kurama smirked. 'You're just like those tree fuckers: treacherous, worthless scum of the world. You deserve every suffering you went through.'
Naruto growled. 'Quiet, I am not the only hypocrite in existence! You know better that hypocrisy is inevitable.'
'Unlike you, I accept that as a fact and endure it, while you seem to take pride in being a hypocrite. You're just a treacherous hypocrite. A shameless one at that.'
'I said shut up!' Naruto roared.
'Naruto, who are you talking to?'
Naruto snapped his head left. 'Reimu. Stay away from me.'
'Huh?'
'I said stay away!' Naruto walked away. 'I will allow him to emerge, but I will not accept my fate.'
'Who are you talking to?'
Naruto answered not. He kept walking away as he ignored Reimu.
'Hey, wait!' Reimu chased after Naruto, saying, 'Want to go home together? I know the way out!'
'Sure.' You bastard, Naruto thought, I told you I will not accept her, yet you accept her offer.
Reimu wrapped her arms around Naruto, securing him so he couldn't move. 'Alright, hold on tight!' She then dashed through the sky, carrying a trembling Naruto in her arms.
Maybe the thought parts are confusing, but that's the best I could do to convey the confusion the character experiences. I still have no idea how to portray a character's confusion and chaotic mind without confusing readers.
Note that Yama actually see a person's past deeds to determine their sins and virtues, not seeing their thoughts. But I interpret thinking as an action, thus a deed, so Yama can see a person's thought in this story.
