Lost boys

Published: 01.08.2021

Wordcount: 12689

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Chapter 5: the shadow

Then one night, as I closed my eyes

I saw a shadow flying high

Ruth B. Lost boy

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Shinichi stayed on the bed, unmoving. There was no point attempting to run away. They were who knows how far from the island. Even if he got out, there was nowhere to go. Besides, he didn't have any more pixie dust either so he wouldn't be able to fly. With his bad shoulder, he was better off waiting for rescue.

The time ticked by, and he shuffled to the window. It was a small window, but he imagined he would be able to fit if he tried. Not now though, with his bad arm, but if Hakuba was correct it wouldn't take long before that changed.

There was a knock on the door, and he half turned in surprise. Why would the pirates bother knocking? He was their prisoner, they could come and go as they pleased after all. Perhaps they were given him the illusion of modesty by being polite. He snorted slightly at the thought. Polite pirates? They were nothing like he had imagined they would be. A far cry from the stories he had read in his books.

"Come in," he replied after a moment when there were no further movements.

The door opened to show Hakuba. He was now wearing his coat again, and he gazed at him through his eyelashes. "The captain desires your presence for dinner."

He frowned, "but why?"

The pirate lifted an eyebrow, "are you hungry or not?"

Just as the words were spoken, Shinichi felt his stomach rumble. He flushed slightly, but nodded none the less. He walked towards the door, waiting for Hakuba to protest. When he did not, he relaxed his shoulders slightly. The other man simply turned around and led him from the room. They walked down a small hallway that ended in a set of stairs.

Climbing the stairs, Shinichi could smell the fresh air, and see the moonlight glittering above them. The stairs led to the main deck. And he looked around in curiosity as he saw a few of the crew walking around. Canons were nestled against the frames. The ship had two main masts, and two smaller one in the back. This close up, he noticed he had been correct the first time around. It was a galleon.

"This way," Hakuba grunted, and Shinichi was forced to walk a little faster to regain the space between them. He was led up another set of smaller stairs to a small platform that ended with a door. The pirate knocked on the door. "Our guest for dinner as ordered, sir."

"Come in," they heard the grunted reply.

Hakuba pushed the door open to indicate for Shinichi to enter. He hesitated, staring from the pirate to the door. He might not get along with Hakuba, but it was better with the devil you know than the one you don't. it was one thing having to deal with a crewman, than with the pirate captain himself.

"Go on," although his voice sounded impatient, his expression was one of sympathy. It was clear he could see through him to his tentative core, and was trying to reassure him. "he wont bite."

Shinichi pursed his lips with displeasure, not liking what he assumed was pity flickering in his eyes. However he steeled his resolve and entered the cabin. He would not be a coward in front of the pirates, he refused to show any kind of weakness. He was a lost boy after all, he was better than this. The cold gnawing of his stomach was just nerves, not apprehension, he told himself sternly.

It was darker inside, and he took a few seconds to get used to the dimmer light. It was another spacious room. He noticed a desktop by the closed window, and a corridor on his right that led to an alcove – most likely the bedroom he surmised. A closet on the left were buried by colourful clothing.

However what drew his eyes were the large table that had been set in the middle of the room. It was filled with food, a chandelier and it was set for two with goblets and plates. Live fire flickered on the stubs. Following the length of the table, he saw Captain Hook watching him with dark, unreadable eyes. He was no longer wearing the tricorn hat, letting the locks of his hair dip into his face. The light of the candles illuminated his face and made him appear younger than Shinichi had originally thought.

"Why don't you sit down," the pirate put a hand on the seat next to him.

Shinichi didn't move, he felt his feet rooted to the floor. Something flickered with familiarity in the back of his mind. He had the distinct feeling he had seen Hook before. He looked past the curl of his hair, the stubble on his chin towards his eyes. Eyes that was the indigo of the early morning. He let out a short gasp as he realized.

Captain Hook looked eerily like Kaito, except he was about a decade or so older.

He must have noticed the shift in Shinichi's expression as he lifted an elegant brow. "Is something wrong?"

"I –" his shook slightly as coldness crept up his spine and he felt slightly disoriented from the insight. He must simply be imagining things, he told himself sternly. His mind was simply looking for recognizable facial traits. "No," he finished lamely.

"Then come. Sit," he patted the chair once again. He looked calm as he gazed up at Shinichi through his eyelashes, however he could see a slight twitch of his moustache that indicated the tension of his face. Not that he was able to read the pirate.

Hesitantly, he decided for and against following the suggestion, before his body started to move without his intent. It was better to comply for now. He sunk down in the offered seat. And looked over the food on the table. Almost immediately his mouth started to water. He could see roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, apples and more that he couldn't name. His stomach gurgled louder this time, and he was aware he couldn't really recall last time he ate.

Still, he felt reluctant to take a single bit, far too aware of the chances that they were just trying to bait him. Make him sympathetic to their cause. He wouldn't fall for it, he refused to.

"Not hungry?" Hook hummed next to him, Shinichi could still feel the prickling of his eyes on his skin.

"I prefer to feast with my eyes first," he replied with a tightened smile. The food smelled divine, and he had to sit on his hands in an attempt not to grab for an apple. He couldn't remember the last time he had an apple – sure the food in Neverland was delicious, but it had different flavours. Or… did it? He tried to remember.

"Suit yourself, kid," he heard jingling of glass and cutlery as the pirated started to put food on his own plate. Shinichi didn't watch him from the corner of his eyes. Hook sounded as though he had no care for whether or not he decided to eat. "Welcome to the Jolly Roger at any rate. I was a bit preoccupied earlier to give you a proper welcome."

Shinichi tilted his head slightly to stare at him, "the Jolly Roger?"

"Aye, that's my ship," his eyes glittered with pride, showing the first ounce of true emotions since he sat down. "Fastest ship around. Not saying much when we are also the only ship," he chuckled at his own bad joke.

He didn't know what to reply, but he felt a stirring sensation in the back of his mind as though he had heard the name before. Looking around, even the cabin felt vaguely familiar. Like from a far away memory or perhaps deja-vu. Or perhaps Kaito or one of the lost boys' had mentioned the ship before. He was certain it would be the case, as it was the only thing that made any lick of sense.

"Take the apple kid," Hook continued with a friendly hum, indigo orbs flickered in his direction for a second before settling on the food he was cutting with a knife on his own plate. "I can see you eyeing it. There are no ties attached to this dinner. Food is a human right after all. Only the truly barbaric withheld food as a means of torture. Eat, please."

Considering for a long few seconds, his resolve fell and Shinichi reached for the apple, letting his teeth bite into it. Immediately the moist juices spread across his palate, and he made a soft noise of appreciation in the back of his throat.

"It's good yeah?" the pirate grinned at him, and Shinichi looked away a little flustered.

Taking a few seconds to chew and swallow, he asked, "you are not what I imagined."

"What, pirates? That's a connotation we were given. We are seamen, out on an adventure," he hummed in reply, a small smile made his teeth glint sharply. There was definitely a hidden story behind that expression.

Shinichi frowned, feeling as though he was missing a vital part of the puzzle. "I don't believe you. Sailors wouldn't kidnap children."

"Yeah," he drew the vocals out, no lick of remorse in his tone. He truly sounded like he be believed in his convictions wholeheartedly. "You are right about that. Desperate means and all that. Trust me, I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't necessary. The only one who can properly navigate Neverland is you lot. Us adults aren't allowed. Well except the Indians, but I never really managed to wrap my head around their purpose."

Shinichi widened slightly at the news, before closing his mouth into a stern line. He had wondered much of the same in the past, until it just stopped being relevant. Neverland was impossible and improbably, and a whole bucket of ineffable. He had decided to just live with it. "What are you searching for?"

"Something important," the pirate replied cryptically, as he bit into his food.

"Okay," he decided to change tactic, as he turned his body towards him fully. "What exactly is it that you want from me then?"

"From you?" Hook put down his fork, and his dark gaze met the younger man. Shinichi could see a sea of seriousness in the white of his eyes. He could see some miniscule differences between Kaito and Hook now, except the age. His cheekbones were a little more hollow, and his nose was a little crooked like it had been broken several times and then left to its imperfections. "Absolutely nothing."

"What?" he gaped in surprise, confusion rolling through him. "Then why did you kidnap me?"

"That was before we knew who you were."

"Does that mean you are going to take me back?" he asked, feeling only more puzzled. What was the point of taking him and then letting him go? He couldn't wrap his head around exactly what the pirates were after.

"Don't be silly," Hook snorted, amusement flickered slightly across his lips. "We are not going back."

"Then what? Where are you taking me?"

"Home," the pirate replied, the earlier humour drained from his eyes as his face shifted into a serious expression. "We are taking you home."

Shinichi stood from the table, letting the apple drop from his hand and land on the floor with a soft thump. He had a feeling the captain didn't mean home to the hangman's tree on Neverland. "I'm not going to go back. Not ever. That place is no longer my home."

Hook watched him silently, peering at him through his eyelashes. "That's what you said last time as well. I'm sorry kid, but you are coming with us whether you like it or not. We need to get you away from here before it's too late."

He didn't want to listen to him anymore. To this nonsense. He gritted his teeth as he walked away from the table. He expected the pirate to stop him, or to have the coldness of the hook on his shoulder, instead he was allowed to leave without as much as a protest. He walked back out on the deck. Tilting his head a little to gaze the night sky. The second moon had risen while he had been in the cabin. He suddenly felt very claustrophobic.

Taking a deep breath, he climbed up on the top deck behind him. From that view point he could watch a half of dozen pirates mingling on the deck below. A pirate next to him by the steering wheel looked at him lazily but did not react any further to his presence. Shinichi sagged a little against the railing.

Nausea rippled through him, threatening to make him spit out the mouthful of apple he had eaten earlier. He felt shaken, and there was something deep inside of him pushing him to the west. His eyes darted in that direction and he knew, without a single doubt, that if he kept swimming that way, he would reach Neverland.

He wondered what exactly the pirates' ploy were. Everything they said, every honesty expression, screamed that they were attempting to manipulate him and to make him question everything he knew. He wanted to call them out on their bullshit, on their lies. And yet… a part of him knew they were speaking the truth. He could not find a single shred of deceit in their faces. It made him feel nauseous again.

This was all wrong, this is not how things were supposed to be. Pirates were supposed to be cunning and lying and using violence to their own gains. He should be tortured in the lower deck right now, not eating a luxurious dinner with the captain. Nothing made sense. He hated how it made his head swim with a thousand questions that he couldn't physically word. There was something that hindered him to be able to voice them.

"Your legs aren't bad for a landlubber."

Looking up, Shinichi noticed that, while he had been busy panicking, captain Hook had taken up vigil by the wheel. The other pirate was nowhere to be seen. A soft smile curled on his lip once Shinichi's eyes darted towards him.

"Don't –" he licked his lips. "You don't have to do that."

His smile turned a little sharper as the corners stretched into a grin. "You wanted more pirate. I'm only happy to oblige."

"You're ridiculous," he blurted out after a moment, with a disbelieved expression. "I don't understand you. I don't understand any of this. I feel queasy," he doubled over, swallowing thickly in an attempt to keep the bile down. The ship shook slightly from hitting a wave, and he had to knock his knees together in an attempt to stay upright.

"It'll pass," Hook said, his smile having softened once more, and his eyes glittered with sympathy. "As for the ship, just consider yourself an extension of her and you will be walking like a pirate in no time."

Shinichi nodded absentmindedly, not paying him much attention. The captain must have noticed his mind was too focused on the negative spiralling of his thoughts, as he reached out to push him a little closer.

"Hey, stay with me," he whispered softly, then his eyes lit up with an idea, and started to glow with mischief. "Do you care to take a hand at the helm?"

His attention was firmly on the pirate now, "I know nothing of sailing." He felt hesitant, he knew about boats, read about them plenty, but he didn't know anything other than about types of ships. His mother hadn't approved of his interest as far as he remembered.

Hook grinned, "oh once you get your bearings, its easy as pie. Come here," he placed Shinichi in front of him, and after a second of coaxing, the boy put his hand on the wheel. "Alright, now. The left side is called 'port'." With his hook, he carved a P into the wood. "And the right side is called starboard." An S was drawn in next to the other letter. "Try go two notches to port."

Shinichi looked up at him worryingly, making sure he was actually allowed and this wasn't a trick. When the pirate simple looked at ease as he stared straight ahead, instead of watching Shinichi, he felt slightly more calm. Following the order based on what he had just learned, he moved the wheel two notches to the left.

Immediately Hook chuckled warmly as he reached out to clap a hand on Shinichi's non-hurt shoulder and squished lightly. "You are a natural mate. You were born with the sea in your blood."

He couldn't help but to preen a little at the compliment, and he ducked his head a little as his cheeks blossomed. "I have a good teacher."

The silence that fell between them was comfortable, and Shinichi did not want to break it even though he buzzed with a billion questions. He kept peering at the pirate from the corner of his eyes, even as he tried to pay attention to the horizon. The stars twinkled above them.

He still didn't trust him nor his attentions, not by a landslide. Although he could not read anything but complete honesty, part of him doubted what he was able to read on his features. For all he knew, the pirate was a very talented actor and liar.

"You are free to go wherever you want on the ship," Captain Hook spoke after a moment. "You aren't a prisoner. We never locked your door, you were just compliant enough to stay in your cabin. We had a bet about that you know," their eyes met for a moment, and there was a mirthful tightening of his eyes. "Hakuba lost."

He flushed a little at the knowledge, and bit his lip to keep from smiling. He hadn't even checked the door, he felt a little foolish now. "Does that mean you will let me go?" he asked without hope

Immediately, the pirate's face fell, and he shook his head slightly. "Not back to Neverland. I am taking you home."

Shinichi stared at him, noticing how the light shimmered of his face, casting him in shadows. He didn't feel like running away this time. Didn't want to throw a temper tantrum like a child just because he heard some news he didn't like. Instead, his chest was filled with curiosity. "What did you mean earlier, when you implied I had been here before?"

"Because you have. When you were maybe five years old. We managed to wrestle you out of the shadow's grip and send you home. It wasn't easy I got to tell you, but we did it," Hook turned to face him, his lips pursing. "I'm not surprised you don't remember me. One usually don't keep the memories when you go to the other side. I just hope you can trust us, Shinichi, that we want the best for you."

"If it's so dangerous, then why don't you save the others?" he pressed, "take Kaito, and Heiji and Kazuha home too."

He shook his head sharply, "I can't," his voice was low, filled with sorrow. "It's too late for them. But it's not for you, not yet. You still have a home to return to."

"I –" Shinichi hesitated. "I don't even remember my home. Or my parents. What if it's awful there?"

"It's far better there than here, trust me mate."

He didn't know what to believe, but he felt calm and no longer panicking. He didn't want to leave Neverland, but Hook seemed so sure that he found it difficult to argue back. If he wasn't careful, he would fall right into their manipulative trap, he thought silently.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything," Hook replied immediately with such sincerity that his heart fluttered slightly.

"Why do you have his face?"

His lips twitched slightly, before falling into a neutral but serious expression. "It's mine. He took it from me. My face, my name and my hand," he held up the hook.

Shinichi blanched away from the wheel, his breathing coming out haggard as he shook his head. Instantly understanding what and who the pirate meant in his accusation. "You are lying. Kaito wouldn't do that," he hissed.

Hook didn't seem rattled at his hostility, instead his facial features settled into wore a patient expression, however he could see the sadness swirling in his eyes. "Believe what you want, but it is the truth. In Neverland, you lose yourself. You can't trust your memories nor your feelings. It eats it all away until there is nothing but a shell left."

"No," he refused to believe it. Refused to acknowledge the pity he could read clearly across his face. He had been correct earlier, Hook was an amazing actor, playing at the compassionate victim. "Neverland is home, and we are a family."

"Neverland is a realm you can never wake from," the pirate interrupted with a dark expression. Something swam in his eyes, turning the colour of his eyes to the liquidness of a storm that made it impossible to look away. "A dreadful nightmare you know isn't real, but your sleep is so so heavy, so deep, so delicious, you just can't wake," he took a stuttering breath as though he was engulfed in the black depiction, "it's the feeling how slowly drowning in a black sea. Its death, that's what it is. Most will never wake. Never leave."

Shinichi stared at him silently. The image he painted was so dark, and nothing like how he himself depicted Neverland. "You are not Kaito," he refused to believe the lie he was being told. He knew Kaito. He was fun and always had a grin on his lips. His laughter melodious and infectious. He was an imp and he cared for his family, the lost boys. He cared about Shinichi. He wasn't whatever the pirate was lying about.

Hook let out a short, sardonic laughter that sent a chill down his spine. "I feel like I'm talking to a shadow suspended in dust. Perhaps it is too late to save you. These layers of lies betrayed by the sad glint in a child's eye," he reached out to grab his shoulder again. This time his fingers drilled into flesh. "Listen to me Shinichi. That Kaito you believe in? He is the nightmare that followed you out of your dreams – of my dreams. Don't let him devour you too."

Feeling chilled to his bones, he violently shook the arm of his shoulder. He wasn't going to listen to this anymore, he couldn't. Without a single word he started to climb back down. He felt the pirate's gaze on the back of his head. He didn't try to stop him, but as he left, he could hear his voice drift after him.

"If what I am saying isn't true, then why won't he let you remember your real home?"

Shinichi couldn't sleep that night as he stared at a point on the ceiling. His mind whirled with questions and confusion. Mostly the latter. The pirates had to be lying to him. He refused to believe that Kaito wasn't who he seemed to be. He had been in Neverland for a while now and he had never seen any evidence that contradicted that. No, it was definitely the pirates that were the adversaries here.

So what if he couldn't remember the sound of his mother's voice, or what his parents looked like. All he knew was the feeling of abandonment that tucked in his chest whenever he thought about them. Kaito had rescued him from an unloved home, he was certain of that. He had gone voluntarily and on his own free accord to Neverland. Nothing the pirates said would change that.

He didn't care about them. Didn't care about the lost memories because he didn't want to go home. Neverland was home. The lost boys were now his family. He believed in Kaito. Their ragtag leader had fulfilled every promise he had ever given to Shinichi. Neverland was heaven, a dream come true. It was his adventure. Not a nightmare like Hook proclaimed.

At some point, he drifted off. By morning, the burning pain of his arm had dulled to a stiff discomfort whenever he tried to pull his arm out. He stayed in the cabin for the rest of the afternoon, only interrupted when Hakuba wordlessly dropped off some breakfast, and then lunch later in the afternoon. He must have taken the hint that Shinichi wasn't interested in any sort of conversation.

He hadn't tried the door as of yet, but he believed Hook when he said that the door was unlocked. He had promised that Shinichi could roam the ship if he wished to, and he didn't seem the sort to break his promises. Even if he didn't trust a word he was saying.

Shinichi poked at the food, simply stirring the porridge. He chewed on the edges of a cracker and put the food down. He went to starring out the little window, hoping against everything he would see a familiar figure in the sky.

Where are you Kaito? He whispered to himself, his stomach dropping in dread. Everything felt wrong. There was a tugging on his heart that grew more painful for every hour that past, as though the island was trying to lure him back. He wanted to go back, he hated to be away from it. Away from the others.

The pain increased to the point that when the sun set, he could no longer stay still. He walked back and forward in the little room. It was five steps wide and another five steps width. Not much space. Everything felt humid and stuffy and he opened the window even further. It didn't help much.

Another knock on the door, had him turning with his lips tilting downwards. Hakuba gave him a polite tilt of his lips as he entered, a plate filled with some meat, gravy and potato clutched in his left hand. The other carried a bottle of water. He placed it down on a chair next to Shinichi – there was no table.

Shinichi eyed him silently as he moved around the room, but instead of leaving without a word, this time, he sank into the bed. He lifted an eyebrow staring towards Shinichi who had drifted towards the wardrobe in an attempt to give the pirate some space. He felt loath to touch any of them.

"There is no need for you to sit in your room all day, you know," Hakuba tilted his head slightly, all he could read from his facial feature was the shimmer of friendliness. For whatever reason, he seemed genuinely concerned. "I am sure the captain told you, but you are free to explore as you please."

"I like it here," he grunted in reply, his lips curling into a hostile expression. The pirates were all the same, expert liars. He refused to accept the sincerity he could clearly read off of his expression. "There are no filthy, lying pirates attempting to strike up conversation. I'm done listening to you."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "We simply thought it would make the journey easier for you. We are pirates, not barbarians." He rose from the bed. "If you change your mind, you know where you can find us."

Shinichi watched him leave the room without replying. He uncurled his tightened fist, relaxing miniscule now that he was alone again. He went to the now empty bed, and picked up his food. He managed to eat a few bites, but the gnawing tugging in his stomach didn't allow for much. He spent the rest of the evening staring out the window, waiting desperately, until he fell asleep.

By morning, he removed the bandages. His arm no longer ached, and he stretched out feeling satisfied that there wasn't even a burn. Again, he spent the afternoon alone on his own in the cabin. The only person he saw was Hakuba when he brought him food and took the half-eaten plates away. Every time, the pirate eyes flicker to him in the corner of his eyes with concern, and his stomach curled in revulsion at the pretence. Keeping up the perfect act even when they didn't know if he was looking.

At some point during the afternoon he watched Watson the falcon flying behind the ship, but that was the most exciting thing that happened.

By the time dinner came around, Shinichi felt too restless to sit still. The room felt claustrophobic. He ate is food in silence, weighing his options. Hook still hadn't summoned him or sought him out – something he found odd, but he assumed they were playing the long con in an attempt to sway him to their sides. Perhaps he wanted Shinichi to come to him.

Just as Kaito hadn't yet come for his rescue. He had tried to wait, but he also couldn't just stand still and do nothing. He knew he didn't have a way off the ship, nor could he fly home. It would be best to stay put. But as the time alone increased, he also felt loath to just sit there. He didn't want to interact with the pirates either, but the idea of leaving the cabin felt more and more enticing.

He watched from the window as the second moon rose. He bit his lip. It should be relatively late now, if he was lucky, most of the crew was asleep. Finally make up his mind, he got out of bed, opened the door and followed the hallway up to the main deck. The wind ruffled through his hair pleasantly, and he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. First breath of free air in two days. The heavy feeling that had settled in his stomach instantly started to lessen.

The deck of the ship was bathed in moonlight, and the reflection shone off the canons. Curiously, Shinichi drifted to the closest one. Reaching out, he let his hand brush against the metal. The texture felt pebbled under his fingertips. Salt flaked off it a little from his nails. Looking down, he noticed some canon bolts laying in a basket. It looked like something was attached to them. Curiously, he picked up one of them. It had a series of intricate ropes attaching to a second ball.

With a jolt he realized it was a net – the same kind of net that had captured him. He dropped it, the metal thumping next to his toes. An inch to the left and it would have hit him. His breath hitched a little – they were waiting for Kaito. These were created to catch him. The knowledge sent a cold shiver through his body.

"Careful now," a familiar voice spoke. "You wouldn't want to damage the ship. The Jolly Roger might be sturdy, but she deserves to be treated like a lady."

Frozen, Shinichi turned slowly. Captain Hook was staring at him with dark eyes that drilled into him. Despite his earlier words, he didn't sound too reprimanding. He sat at the bottom of the stairs. His hook lay in his lap and the moon glittered off of it. He wasn't wearing his hat, and he had his head tilted slightly as he regarded the boy like he was a spooked animal.

For his part, Shinichi wondered how long he had been watched. He didn't like the fact he hadn't noticed nor heard him. "I'm sorry," he gritted through clenched teeth.

"Not me you have to apologize to," the captain spoke, a small grin twitched on his lip, chasing away the darkness of his eyes and replacing it with a softer gleam. "But she is a kind ship, she gladly accepts your apology."

"You are weird," he replied after a moment of staring at him.

Hook rose from the stairs, "I've been called worse, so I'll take it as a compliment."

"You'll never catch him," continued, shoulders tense and sure. Even with all this equipment, he believed in Kaito. He knew with a certainty that he would prevail against the pirates.

"That's usually how the story goes," Hook didn't seem offended, he looked calm except for maybe a little chagrined in the creases around his eyes. "But I have won once and will again."

Shinichi watched him verily, but the pirate didn't move any closer. Instead he took a step up the stairs, and tilted his head towards Shinichi. There was an air of nonchalant across the softness of his shoulders as though he didn't particularly care about an answer. "Now that you are finally out of your dreary room, care to join me for some stargazing?"

"No thank you," he said with a neutral expression, wondering how the other would react to his refusal.

"Alright then," the pirate turned away from him as he climbed the stairs. "Good night, Shinichi."

Looking after him, he felt a little baffled at the casualness of his tone. He had expected some sort of reaction, but it seemed he had read the pirate's body language correctly. It had been an open invitation spoken with hope, yet expecting fully that it would be declined. The fact he had allowed it to be Shinichi's choice, was what made his chest tightened with surreal.

He decided to return to his cabin. He could not wrap his mind around exactly what the pirates wanted. They were being friendly, yet tried to shove their propaganda down his throat. But for now they were simply leaving him alone to his own devices, allowing him to do as he pleased.

He decided to see how far his freedom reached, as he spent the next morning exploring the rest of the ship. He opened the other doors in the hallway. Most of them were more sleeping courters – he had accidentally walked into a man dressing, and from then on he knocked on the doors before entering just in case. One of the doors led to a staircase that took him to the lower deck. This place was covered with boxes and barrels. Opening a few of them he found food, both perishable and storable, but no rum. He filed the information away for later. He had always thought pirates liked rum and alcohol. A sober pirate ship didn't sound right in his books.

He also stumbled over the kitchen. The cook was a large man, with an equally as large belly, with a white moustache. He had welcomed Shinichi into the kitchen with a toothy smile once he spotted the boy idling by the door. It had been lunch by then and he ate an apple and some soup.

After finish exploring the lower deck, he returned to the surface. There was more activity during the day, and he found himself standing in the way. Part of him wanted to return to the safety of his cabin, however the cawing of Watson above him made him look up. She stood in the crow's nest on the second smaller mast. He got the distinct feeling she was inviting him up.

Hesitating only for a moment he started to climb. He was expecting to be stopped halfway up, however no one reacted to his presence. Finally reaching the nest, he stood on unsteady feet. The ship swayed more up here, but he found himself enjoying it once the first threatening bile had been vanquished. From here he could watch the blue horizon and the lazy clouds above. It was far more relaxing than the stuffy cabin. The air ruffled through his hair almost in greeting, and he felt the last of his tension drain from his shoulders.

From this point of view, he would be able to spot Kaito flying before the pirates did, he was sure. Being so high up reminded him of flying with Kaito. The wind through his hair and through his clothing. He felt a little more detached from the situation – the fact he was a prisoner on a ship. As the time passed, he watched the crew moving like ants underneath him. He heard the barking of orders, picking up the words he had learned from captain Hook the other day as they milled around.

At some point, the pirate captain left his cabin, and he saw the rest of the crew stand to attention. Even as he moved around the ship, one eye was always following his track. It slightly reminded him of how the Lost Boy's reacted to Kaito's presence. He pursed his lip at the thought. He followed Hook with his eyes, unable to break his gaze.

This man, who allegedly had told him he was the real Kaito. Shinichi didn't want to believe it, but even as he didn't, he could not help but see the similarities. There was a swagger of his hips as he moved that resembled the other. The connotation of his voice, the flickering of his grin, and eyes that glittered as though he was always thinking about an inside joke.

There couldn't be more than one Kaito, he refused to believe it. It was simply a coincidence, a play the pirate was putting up. He was clearly familiar enough with Kaito to know how to act, how to deceive others. Shinichi wouldn't fall for it, he swore to his friend.

As the temperature fell with the sun, Hakuba called to him. "You ready to come down for some dinner?"

At the sound of food, his stomach gurgled, and he nodded. "Alright, coming right down." For the first time in days, his stomach was settled enough that food sounded appetising. He was hungry. He quickly climbed down, and was expected to be led back to his room, or perhaps to the barracks he had discovered while exploring the ship. It was a larger room filled with chairs and smaller tables where the crew ate their meals. He had even seen evidence of cards and dices that they must be gambling with to keep entertained during evenings.

Instead, he was led to the back of the ship, where a cloth had been laid on the floor, and next to it a little basket of food.

"I thought you'd appreciate sitting here alone, rather than joining us in the barracks. I took a guess you are not comfortable enough for that just yet."

"I –" Shinichi flushed a little at the consideration. He definitely had felt a little sweaty thinking about it. The pirates made him nervous – he could not remember the last time he was in a room filled with only adults. They seemed impossible large and intruding. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

With a nod and a quick smile, Hakuba left. Shinichi stared at him for a moment, feeling his chest tightening a little at the obvious consideration the pirate had given him. Clearly he had noticed his discomfort and was sympathetic. For once, since he was kidnapped, he couldn't help but wonder if Hakuba's actions all came from an attempt of deceit. He seemed far to compassionate for that, even though he attempted to put on a cold, uncaring exterior.

Shinichi sank to the floor, feeling the squared cloth underneath his finger tips. He reached for the food and started to nibble on a piece of bread. The view from here was excellent, and he watched as the stars started to shine brightly. In another half an hour the second moon would set. He was starting to get used to the sea life, he realized, though he did miss the feeling of dry land under his feet.

He heard a creaking behind him, it seemed deliberate in order not to spook him, before a familiar voice spoke "mind if I join you?"

Glancing to the side, he saw captain Hook standing above him. His face looked neutral, as though he was expecting Shinichi to say no again and had already accepted the fact. If anything, that's what made Shinichi nod, even as he felt apprehensive at his presence.

The pirate relaxed a little, and the start of a delighted smile twitched in the corner of lips. He sank down next to him, making sure there were enough space that they wouldn't accidentally touch if the waves shook the ship too much. There was a piece of forgotten cheese on the abandoned plate, and he leaned over, impaling it with his hook before putting it in his mind.

Shinichi stared at him with round eyes in disbelief, before he had to duck his head to keep from chuckling at the display. The captain must have noticed, as he lifted an eyebrow at the boy.

"What?" he said innocently.

Shinichi shook his head, "nothing. It's nothing," he eyed the hook curiously. "Does it hurt?"

"Hmh?" he replied lazily, before noticing Shinichi's attention on the hook. "Oh no, not at all. Sometimes it gives a little discomfort, and it itches before it rains. But other than that, no."

"Is it weird not having two hands? I can't imagine losing one of my hands," Shinichi lifted his up and spread his fingers apart. He then suddenly flushed in embarrassment. "You don't have to answer, that was rude of me. I'm sorry."

Hook chuckled softly, "don't worry about it, lad. Someone asking me, it's refreshing. Most of my crew tend to avoid the topic altogether. The answer is no though, I don't miss it. I've had this hook for as long as I can recall. I only vaguely remember a time before it. There is no point in romanticizing the past. It is what it is, and I live with the choices life has given me. This hook," lifted it in the air, "is an extension of me. I wouldn't know what to do if someone took it from me."

Shinichi tilted his head slightly, "that's a very admirable and positive outlook on life," he paused a bit, before a grin curled on his lips. "I thought pirates were supposed to be edgy."

"Sorry to disappoint, lad," came the answering chuckle. The line of tension on his brows calmed completely, clearly not having expected Shinichi to be in a good mood when he sat down – Shinichi himself was surprised by the ease of their conversation.

"If you are pirates," he licked his lips, "why isn't there any rum on board? Or alcohol? I thought that was like, one of the necessary job descriptions of being a pirate."

The smile slowly drained on Hook's face, and he shifted his attention to stare towards the horizon. "Alcohol doesn't fit in a child's dream. Rarely do they know the taste, so it isn't a thing here. We tried fermenting grapes to make vine, but they rot instead. Neverland won't allow it. Grown-up things are forbidden."

"I guess that makes sense," Shinichi frowned a little. It was not something that had occurred to him before. "Isn't it boring being an adult without all the benefits attached to it?"

He barked out a sardonic laughter, his eyes lurking with a dark emotion Shinichi could not place. "You sure know how ask the difficult questions. The truth is, it's complicated. None of us really know how to be an adult. It was a role forced on us, not something we aged into."

Shinichi wanted to ask what he meant as he furrowed his brows in confusion. What did he mean that they weren't real adults? He recalled Hakuba mentioning the first day that he had been one of the lost boys. Surely they had to be lying to him? They wouldn't abandon their own. This had to be some sort of ploy, he was sure. But even as he thought it, he could not see any deceit in the pirate's open expression.

"Where are we going?" he decided to ask instead. "Why haven't you sent me home? It didn't take days when Kaito took me here." He had been curious about that, even as he was happy about as it meant there was a larger chance that Kaito would find him in time.

"It's not that simple. It's difficult to leave Neverland. Even the shadow can only do so with a corporal form once every ten years. For us, the conditions have to be correct."

"Then what are we waiting for," he tilted his head in curiosity. He hadn't known any of this – still a little resigned as to whether or not he believed it all.

"We are waiting for you," the pirate looked back at him, his face drawn into a serious expression.

"I don't understand."

"You will have to want it. Want to leave," his lips curled downwards. "The reason we are taking you away from the island, is that the further and longer you are away from there, the less grip Neverland has on your heart. If we are lucky, it's not too late for you to get free. Sooner or later the shadow will catch up, by then it will be too late."

Shinichi looked away, he couldn't handle the gaze anymore. Something fluttered in his chest, and he pressed his palm against it. This was not how he had thought the situation was. He thought he would be dragged screaming and unwilling home. Not – not that he would want it himself. It was odd, unreal in fact. If the pirates were correct, then they were putting themselves in danger trying to help him. No, it had to be a ploy.

"Tell me," Hook continued, his eyes dark and it prickled against Shinichi's head "in which direction is Neverland."

With a start, he realized he wasn't sure. He looked around, lifted his finger up, but it faltered. The pull in his head had vanished and he no longer felt the gnawing anxiety in the pit of his stomach from being separated from the island. "I don't know," he confessed after a moment. He looked wide-eyed back at the pirate.

Hook looked pleased at the revelation, the darkness in his eyes chased away with hope. "That's great," his lips curled into a genuine smile. "That means it might not be too late for you. We'll get you away from Neverland. I promise. Just like I did ten years ago."

Again, his chest fluttered a little with warmth, and he looked away again, down on his lap. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. He didn't want to leave – his family was here in Neverland. However doubt started to niggle in his mind. What if the pirate was right? What if there was a shadow controlling Neverland? There was too much honesty, too much relief when the pirate learned that his plan was working. He was worried for Shinichi, unselfishly attempting to help him. It felt odd, the only other person who had been so selfless in regard to him had been Kaito. The only one who had wanted to help him from a difficult situation.

"If what you are saying is true," he started, hesitantly, "that I can't trust my memories nor my feelings. How do you know you can trust your own?" he looked back at him, with a determined gaze. "If you are made to be an adversary like in a story book. Here to make my own belief falter, how can you be certain all your thoughts aren't just ideas given to you. Maybe you are led to believe you are the good guy, when in fact you aren't."

"You are right, I can't," Hook replied truthfully, answering Shinichi's accusing glare with a calm expression. "But I would rather be right than wrong about this."

He had a point. A very good point in fact. It was a difficult point to dispute. They fell into a comfortable silence, as Shinichi curled his legs to himself in thought. He had a lot of things to considered. He didn't like the idea that his world view might be skewed. One of them had to be wrong. He really hoped it was captain hook.

Glancing towards the pirate, watching him stare across the horizon, with the moon glittering above. He couldn't help the sudden feeling he was sitting next to Kaito.

He was jostled awake, and he opened his eyes partly in drowsiness. Still hanging between lucidness and dream. A moment later his eyes fell shut again. The only thing he could hear was the buzzing of sleep humming in his ears. He groggily knew that something had awoken him – there had to be a reason for it.

He parted his lips to mumble incoherently: "Kaito, is that you?" Was he being rescued?

Another jostling had him tumbling out of bed, and he hit the floor head on. His teeth clacking painfully and something tumbled in his brain. His eyes flew open in shock. Alert now, he realized he had not been shaken awake, no it was the entire ship that was rocking. Standing up on unsteady feet, the last remains of sleep evaporated as reality came crashing in.

He could now hear the sound of creaking and screams from above. His heart jumped in his throat – was it Kaito after all? Was he finally being rescued of the ship? Even as his heart thrummed in excitement, his stomach dropped. He hoped no one got hurt: neither the pirates nor Kaito and the lost boys.

He hurried out of his room, immediately water sloshed against his ankles and he had to struggle past a floating barrel to get to the staircase. Another shaking of the ship had him clutching the walls in an attempt to stay upright. Exactly what was happening? He heard more roaring, and he didn't miss a beat as he climbed each steps quickly, hoping to get between the fighters.

Now on deck, he had to blink a few seconds to get his bearings. His mouth dropped on its own accord as he tried to make sense of the sight happening in front of him. He had been mistaken – he wasn't being rescued. No, in fact, the ship was being attacked. A large octopus had attached itself to the ship. Tentacles wrapped around the bow to the hull as the large head gnawed on the figure head.

As he stood there watching, a pirate was thrown from the deck by a stray swiping tentacle. The scream only stopped once he hit the water with a large splash.

"Shinichi," he looked up as a voice boomed across the ship. Captain Hook was staring right at him with a wild expression, even as a tentacle that reached his chin stood between them. His tricorne hat laid skewed on his head, threatening to fall into his face at any provocation. "Get back downstairs where its safe."

As if, he wanted to yell back, but could not find the muscle that controlled his tongue. Instead he looked around desperately. There had to be something he could do to help. He watched as a pirate attempted to shoot one of the canons at the sea monster. It bounced off it without a scratch. Another pirate on his left side speared a tentacle with his rapier, and a trinkle of blood petered out. The man was quickly knocked over.

Its impervious to bludgeoning, Shinichi realized with a jolt, we need something big to pierce the skin. He looked around frantically, but nothing immediately came in focus.

"Look out –" was the only thing he heard before something large and slimy collided with his back, and he would have fallen over had it not been for a hook grabbing him form the back of his neck. "What did I tell you," Hook growled, but even so his eyes swam with worry. "Are you hurt?" he asked with a softer tone.

Shinichi shook his head silently, "no I –" he cleared his throat. The ship jolted again and he find himself pushed into the pirate's personal space. A large squeaking had them both look straight up. The last attack had dislodged the sail on the foremast. The rope had loosened, and the sail was now tilting downwards. The boon was one long piece of wood. Wood that could impale something with enough force.

With a grin, he turned back to Hook. "I have a plan, but I need a knife."

To his surprise, the captain didn't hesitate as he unsheathed a blade and thrust it into his hand. "Be careful," he replied with urgency, and he looked behind them to slice at an oncoming tentacle. "Hurry."

Shinichi didn't miss a second as he pushed the knife between his lips. He ignored the warmth tingling through him at the instant trust Hook had in him, as he needed to focus on the matter at hand. He jumped over a fallen barrel, and grabbed a rope without skipping a beat. Running to the foremast, he threw the rope around the pole and grabbed each ends in a different hand. He had never tried to do this himself, however he had seen some of the natives do this when they climbed trees.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he started to climb. Slowly at first, he only slipped once, before he got the hang of it. Soon he reached the dislodged boon. The Jolly Roger shook even harder this far up, and quickly tied himself to the mast lest the next rocking had him fall. He only looked down once, watching as the pirates attempting to beat back the tentacles. He watched as the octopus chewed on the figure head. Big chunks of wood fell off and disappeared behind the ship.

He had to work quickly if this was going to work. Adrenaline pumped through him, and his feet and hands both tingled from both fear and excitement. He had never fought a sea-monster before. He couldn't wait to get back and tell –

He shook the head from his head. He needed to focus. Just one thing at the time.

He pushed the boon with his foot, attempting to steer it in the direction of the octopus. Once he was happy with the direction of his make-shift projectile, he spit the knife into his palm. His pulse thrummed in his throat. Please work, please work, he prayed as he cut the rope. He hadn't had any time to consider if the plan would fail, he just knew he couldn't afford to miss his calculations.

For a moment the pole shivered underneath him, until gravity took hold and it fell. The second rope caught it, but only to make it swing towards the beast. Then, just as Shinichi thought he had miscalculated, it hit the octopus straight on. It made a sickening noise as splat of blue blood covered the deck as it was successfully impaled. The tentacles slid of the ship as the large beast disappeared back into the water. The only indication it had been there was the large, blue pool bobbling on the surface.

The moment of silence was over, before the pirates cheered as one. Immediately he could see them swarm to help their comrades that were stuck under debris, and to help the ones who had been knocked over bored.

It worked! He couldn't believe it had actually worked. He felt shaken to his core, but swallowed down the urge. He needed to get down first, and he used the rest of his adrenaline to get back down – although the descent a lot slower than the ascension. The moment he hit the floor with his feet, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up he saw the beaming expression of captain hook. He looked younger with the large grin plastered across his face and his eyes shone with pride.

"You saved us. Me, the crew and the Jolly Roger. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

Shinichi couldn't help the blush down, as the closest pirates chimed in on the gratitude. "I had to," he mumbled shily, "I couldn't just stand by and just watch."

"You are a good man, Shinichi," Hook replied with a softer expression, his hand tightening slightly. "Never forget that."

He could not help the butterflies fluttering in his stomach, and he looked down in embarrassment. "I only did what anyone else would have done."

Captain Hook only hummed softly in reply.

That night, after everyone had been counted and repair had been undertaken immediately, the pirates held a feast for Shinichi in the barracks. This time he had accepted the invitation, and no longer felt awkward sitting amongst the men in the small room. They shared stories about what they had seen him do that day – each more embellished than as the last, until Shinichi interrupted them with a red-flamed cheeks.

He then recited Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson by heart. The pirates all sat there with shining eyes as they absorbed his every word. Once again he was reminded of the Lost Boys. They looked just as immersed as the pirates while he told them stories.

After he was finished, captain Hook turned to him. His head tilted slightly and eyes far away. "I can tell why he likes you."

Curiously, Shinichi looked back, feeling a little awkward at all the attention. "What do you mean?"

"You are the storyteller," Hook continued. "So much imagination and stories stuck in your brain. No wonder he is obsessed."

His lips curled downwards, "can we not do this today? Can we just be civil tonight? It's been a long day for everyone."

"Apologies. You are right. Can I get you something more to drink?"

They gazed at each other for a moment. One chagrined the other with an apologetic expression. He let the irritation drain after a moment as he nodded. He was surprised to find that he had started to enjoy the pirates' company. They were fun and treated him with respect. They had not once done anything ill-fated as of yet. Nor did they try to shove their propaganda down in his throat – even as he wondered if this whole thing was an attempt at Stockholm syndrome.

Something awoke him. He wasn't sure what it was this time. Asleep in one breath, awake in the other. He could sense something move around the room like a shadow. He held his breath as his hand reached for a piece of wood he had hidden under his pillow. Squinting in the dark, he tried to discern the identity of the intruder.

Suddenly, he felt something wrap around his hand, and he instantly smacked it with the wood. The figure let go and stumbled backwards with a swear. Shinichi sat up, his heart in his throat. The moon finally shone through the little cabin window – it was open he noticed in the back of his mind – and reflected off a very familiar face.

"Kaito?" he whispered in astonishment.

"You hit me," came the accusing tone of his friend.

"You scared me," he countered as he threw the blanket away and jumped out of the bed.

"It hurt," Kaito looked petulant as he rubbed his hand, but there was a hidden smile in the corner of his lip that indicating that he had taken no offense. The moment Shinichi was standing, he wrapped his arms around him. "I am so glad you are okay."

Shinichi's heart fluttered against his chest at the embrace, and he took a deep breath. He smelled like the sky and wet moss, but today he also smelled like seawater – most likely due to having spent a few hours flying above the ocean. "You found me," he mumbled back with a soft voice as he returned the embrace.

Kaito loosened his grip, but did not let go. His eyes looked almost like black whirlpools in the dark. His fingers brushed against Shinichi's jaw. "Are you hurt? Did the pirates –"

"I'm okay," he hurried out. "They didn't hurt me. They were quite… gracious hosts."

"I am so happy to hear that," both his face and voice sounded grateful for that fact. He let go of Shinichi only to grab his hand. "Let's hurry and leave before they came back."

He yanked on his arm, however Shinichi did not budge. Kaito looked back at him with a frown, his shoulders tensing slightly, and eyes flickered to a spot above his shoulder to make sure there were no assailants. "Is something wrong, Shinichi? We should go."

"I –" he felt hesitant. He didn't know what to believe anymore. He had no reason to doubt Kaito. He was his friend – but the pirates had put doubt in his mind about what was right and wrong. He hadn't made up his mind as to who he believed just yet. Though he still refused to believe that Kaito was responsible for everything they accused him of. He was not some child-stealing shadow. They had to be mistaken. There had to be something else out there. "I think I might stay," he found himself finishing.

Kaito froze on the spot, his fingers curling almost painfully into Shinichi's flesh. "I don't understand. You want to stay with the pirates?"

"No," he shook his head quickly. He didn't want to stay with them. "I want to go home, Kaito," his eyes dropped and he heard a hint of pleading creep into his tone.

"I am taking you home," he attempting to tug at Shinichi's hand again, but dropped it when the other wasn't budging. "To the hangman's tree, and the lost boys. They are worried about you –"

"I want to see my parents again, I want to return to my real home."

Kaito recoiled as though he had been slapped, his shoulder now so tense he was shaking. "Why would you want to go back there? You don't even remember them."

"That's exactly why I want to go back. I want to have a memory of them. I don't remember why I left –" he was starting to beg, he knew, but the moment he had asked, he knew this is what he wanted. He wanted to remember the sound of his mother's voice, he wanted to know if his father smoked. He wanted to remember their faces.

"You left for a good reason," pleading eyes tried to make Shinichi see reason. He could practically see the desperation rippling across his face. "Trust me. Please believe in me."

"No," he put his foot down. "I want to go home. Please take me there."

The desperation suddenly drained from Kaito's face and his eyes gained a harder glint in them. Like steel. It was more hostile. "I'm not taking you back. You can't leave. You have to stay here with me."

The impassionate expression had Shinichi take a step back in alarm. There was something wrong with his friend's whole posture, and his heart hammered instinctively before he could discern the feeling. Could there be a possibility that the pirates been right after all? That Kaito had something to do with this all? This was not the boy he knew and cherished. Was there a possibility that he been a willing captive all along? He looked at his friend with new eyes – and all he could see now was the shadow that had fallen in place over his facial features.

"I didn't want to leave," Shinichi found himself whispering as coldness spread across his insides. "It was a test. To see if you would let me. If you had I would have stayed."

All emotion drained from Kaito's face, and what peered out of his eyes were something quite different. Something inhuman, and Shinichi found fear crawl in his throat. He attempted to step back, but a hand curled around his wrist. The grasp was painful, and a lot stronger than it had been a moment ago. This time when he was tugged towards the window he was unable to resist. He stumbled.

"Let go of me. Kaito," he yelled, he attempted to bend the fingers off him, but they wouldn't budge. Maybe he should have listened to the pirates while he had had the chance. "I don't want to go with you."

The door behind him suddenly burst open. And from the dark stumbled Captain Hook. He was clad in white and blue striped pyjamas underneath his usual coat. His hat was missing and his hair was a disarray of curls. A gun was pointed in the direction of Kaito.

"You heard him, shadow. Let the kid go," he threatened as his thumb hovered over the trigger.

Shinichi's heart leapt in relief as the pirate entered. His face crumbled as hope chased away the fear for a moment. Kaito tightened the grip he had on him, and an involuntary grimace rippled through his face. Hook must have noticed, as his lips tightened slightly.

"Shinichi is coming with me," Kaito hissed, his voice low yet seemed impossible large in the small space. The noise sounded inhuman, and it send another shiver down Shinichi's spine.

He actively struggled now, no longer feeling safe in his company. Something was wrong with his friend – he seemed to grow larger as the shadows shifted on his body, and all he could see was the hostility of his eyes.

"You can't make him. He isn't yours to keep. Release him now," Hook growl matched the venomous tone of Kaito. The determination shining in his eyes, calmed Shinichi's panic slightly.

"You took him away from me once, but not this time. Fool me once, Hook," not concerned with Shinichi's unwillingness, he was now physically dragged to the window. "Last time I took your hand."

The pirate quickly closed the distance and his hook grasped against Shinichi's collar. The metal scraped along the skin of his throat before fastening into his shirt.

"I don't want to go with you, Kaito. Let me go," Shinichi shivered, he attempted to kick out, however his feet only hit air.

Neither of them seems to pay him any attention as they glowered at each other above his head.

"I gave you everything," Kaito glared – no the shadow glared. The creature in front of him was not the person Shinichi had gotten to know, "and you spat it out. So I found someone who wanted me. You are not taking this from me as well."

He was forcefully and involuntarily inched closer to the shadow, and he saw the pirate's hook tremble a little from the strain.

"I'm sorry," Hook lowered his tone a little, clear regret shining in his eyes. "This is between the two of us, so let him go."

"I gave you everything," the shadow repeated, still sounding like Kaito however with an icy overtone. "You wanted to stay here, so I made it happen. You were lonely, so I found you friends. You wanted excitement, so I filled Neverland with danger. You wanted to sail and I built you a ship. But you were never satisfied."

Shinichi looked between them in confusion, not quite understanding what was going on. There seemed like their stories were quite more complex and intertwined than he had been led to believe. He didn't blame Hook for it though, as he knew he hadn't been willing to believe him at the time. Calling him a liar to his face. But now, he was certain that everything the pirate had told him was the truth – Kaito was not who he had been led to believe, and the betrayal tasted like ash on his tongue.

He wondered how much of his memories he was missing, how much of reality was warped around him. Had he even been abandoned by his parents, or had he been stolen away? He only vaguely remembered their first meeting. Well, his meeting as a teen, as according to the pirate he had been here before. His new reality felt like a gnawing anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

"That doesn't change the fact that you can't just keep him here. He doesn't belong here," Hook continued, his jaw tightening in an attempt to look brave and not desperate. The hand holding his gun had started to shake slightly – and he would most likely drop it soon lest he lost the grip on Shinichi.

"I need Shinichi. Neverland needs him," the shadow looked feverish, eyes wide and wild. The grin spreading on his lip looks unnaturally wide. "You wanted to stay here, remember Shinichi? You wanted an adventure. I'll give you adventure, anything you want. Every day, you only have to ask for it. Come back with me. I'll remove your doubt, put you back where you belong –"

"I don't want to lose my memories again," Shinichi protested, his throat hitching in desperation. "I'm not going back. Please –"

"You don't have anything to return to," cooed the shadow. He still looked like Kaito, yet his facial features were drawn too wide apart as though he was being stretched unnaturally upwards. He did not look concerned at Shinichi's struggles. "You belong here with your real family. The family who chose you and love you. Not the ones who abandoned you again and again. They wanted you to grow up, but you know you belong here, don't you?"

"Don't listen to him –" Hook's voice was suddenly muffled, and Shinichi could see something dark covering the pirate in the corner of his eyes.

However Shinichi could not take his gaze off of Kaito. There was a soft whisper in his mind that was numbing his thought. Come home, it whispered. Where you belong, to the ones who loves you. Return to your family. It fogged his mind, and he felt himself swaying forwards. This time when he was nudged, he fell straight into Kaito's arms. Hook must have lost his grip on him whilst he had been distracted by the shadows. Kaito wrapped around him, swallowing him up in darkness. He couldn't see anything anymore. Just the alluring dark.

Give in. Come home. Stay here.

In his mind he could see the hangman's tree. The lost boys' beckoning to him. Climbing in the trees with the natives, and flying around him was the pixies. He took a haltering step towards him, almost hypnotized. His throat itched with the need to greet them, to run to them and pick up Mitshuhiko and watch Genta dance around him. He wanted to nudge Heiji towards Kazuha and he wanted to dance under the moonlight with the pixies like he had done plenty of times before.

He wanted to feel their love like a warm embrace against his cheeks. He wanted to laugh with them as they played goatball and watch Heiji fall off the trunk for the third time in a row. He wanted to run through the jungle, knowing that his family was there with him. He wanted to spy at the mermaids sunbathing on the beach again.

He wanted his adventure, his very own wonderland. Except it was welcoming, not hostile like Alice's world had been. He never wanted to leave Neverland. Everything he had ever wanted was here. Someone who cared and loved for him –

No. He shook his head. Those weren't his thoughts. Now that he was aware of the voice, he pushed against it. He didn't want to listen to all the promises it was whispering against his skin, giving him goosebumps.

"Stop it," he gasped as though he was breathing in water. He struggled against the embrace, attempting to push through the darkness surrounding him.

Stay where you belong.

"No," he screamed, louder this time, finding his voice amongst the cacophony of voices in his mind. "Stop it."

There is nothing for you in the real world. Stay in this dream where you have everything you ever wanted.

"I don't want to," he clawed against the shadows but they only tightened around him. There was no warmth to the embrace, only a chill that soaked into his skin.

You just have to believe in me, and I will give you everything.

He could vaguely hear a stronger voice bellowing his name as though he was speaking from above water. It was a comforting feeling, and he felt himself straining to hear what was being said. He pushed away the other whispering voices from his mind – they slithered like slimy snakes that did not move willingly. He let himself fill with the sound of Captain Hook's voice – no of the real Kaito calling for him. Not this imitation.

And suddenly, he knew exactly what he had to do. It had been a mantra since the first time he had met the boy in the window. Inhaling deeply, filling his lungs with air, he yelled as loud as he could.

"I don't believe in you anymore."

For a moment, nothing happened. There was only the unmoving wall of shadows surrounding him. Then moonlight shone through the darkness, blinding Shinichi with the sudden light. It's grasp on him withdrew, followed by the darkness swirling around him faster and faster, before dropping on the floor. All he could see now was the outline of a shadow of a boy on the floor by the window. He heard a whispered growl echoing in his mind, before the shadow fled out the window.

Shinichi dropped to the floor, his heart hammering in his chest. His whole body shook from exhaustion. Had he really just done that? He hadn't known it would work – it had been his last resort. He couldn't believe it had worked. The shadow was gone – the false lying Kaito had fled. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before. The charming smile had been too convincing.

"You did it," the pirate breathed above him, his voiced laced with disbelief. "I can't believe you actually did it. Christ almighty Shinichi." He dropped on the floor and grabbed Shinichi by the shoulder.

Looking back he noticed that Hook looked exhausted, yet somehow younger as his eyes glittered in triumph.

"I –" he licked his lips. The feeling of victory subsided for a moment, before dread filled his stomach. "We have to go back. To Neverland," he clarified when Hook looked confused.

"What do you mean?" his brows tied together. "I thought the whole point of this was to get you away from his grasp?"

"We have to go back to save the others," his throat hitched at the realization. He couldn't leave when his family was still under the clutch of that manipulating shadow.

With understanding, Hook's expression fell in sympathy. "There is no point. They can't be saved. They have been there too long. They won't be able to see through his façade like you did. They can't see the shadow. He will be back for you sooner rather than later, and by then he will be ready for us. The same trick won't work twice."

The disappointment felt heavy on his stomach. He couldn't just leave them like that. It wasn't right. He wasn't that kind of person – couldn't flee knowing they needed him.

"Then what do I do?"

"You save yourself. You need to leave Neverland. Do you think you are ready now?"

Shinichi looked at him with heavy eyes in contemplation. The thought of leaving Neverland still felt like gnawing anxiety in his stomach. Like he would let everyone down if he left just to save his own skin. He realized with a sudden understanding that the pirate counted himself as one of the lost. They couldn't leave either – only Shinichi could.

He vowed there and then he would return one day and save them all from the shadow. He owed the pirate and the lost boys that much. Without Hook – no without the real Kaito – he would still be happily playing house with the false one. He had saved Shinichi's life.

"Yes," he said after a moment. Knowing it was the truth. He would leave. For now.