"Damn it" muttered Bailey faintly as he registered the floor beneath him, he pried his eyes open wincing slightly at the harsh light. He pressed his hands against the cold floor and attempted to push himself up, he swiftly regretted the action when a burning sensation spread through his shoulder. Bailey screwed his eyes shut and struggled to suppress a groan as he finally pushed himself up into a sitting position. But he was quickly overcome by a wave of nausea and found himself slumping against the nearby wall. He let out a few shaky breaths as his eyes sluggishly scanned the room. A lump formed in his throat as his eyes locked on a familiar face grazed with concern. In his desperation to get up he'd completely forgotten he wasn't alone, a blush crept into his cheeks as his memories of the moments before he collapsed came flooding back.
"Bailey-" began Stella as she crouched down in front of him, unfortunately the rest of her sentence was cut off by the sound of his heart beating in his ears. He threaded his fingers through his hair before lamely stating,
"I'm ok". His words elicited a sigh from the firefighter. Bailey watched as Stella pursed her lips as she seemed to be debating her next move.
"Bailey, please let us help you", the boys stomach sunk at the deep hoarse tone. Hesitantly Bailey shifted his eyes toward the bed where his father had somehow propped himself up on the edge.
"I don't need your help, I'm ok".
With that Bailey pushed himself to his feet ignoring the way his body swayed and his shoulder throbbed; he shuffled towards the bed and dropped down into the chair he'd been sat in earlier. It wasn't what he wanted to do, every part of him wanted to turn around and head back home but running now would leave him drowning in even more guilt. Bailey's gaze drifted upwards towards the ceiling, he studied the tiles intently as he waited for someone to break the silence that had fallen over them. He wasn't quite ready to look his father in the eyes.
"I promise it's the last time I'll ask but are you sure you don't need that shoulder checking out kid?"
"Positive" he replied truthfully. His shoulder ached but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. If anything the pain dulled the nerves rattling in his stomach.
"Are you ok?" He asked turning towards the man who had been staring at him since he'd sat down. Their eyes locked together and Bailey gulped as he struggled to resist the urge to look away. He used to find his fathers warm eyes and kind smile comforting. He remembered sitting on the bench during his baseball games and searching the stands for that same reassuring smile. Bailey shook his head as his skin began to prickle, that was a time period he didn't want to remember. Thankfully his fathers voice cut through the air providing Bailey with a much needed distraction.
"The Doctors reckon I might be out of here by next week",
"Glad to hear it ".
Bailey found his eyes scanning over the white bandages concealing his fathers injuries, a frown tugged at the corners of his mouth as he thought about how his father had gotten them. Despite the knot in his stomach he took a deep breath and gently placed his hand on his fathers arm,
"I'm sorry about the other firefighter" .
He watched as the mans mouth pulled into a straight line and there was a sadness in his eyes that he hadn't noticed before. Bailey felt a twinge of guilt for bringing up the subject but he knew his father had an unhealthy tendency to bury his feelings and deal with everything alone, after all he'd inherited the same habit.
"I didn't really know Thomas that well, this week was the first time I'd ever worked with him but he" his fathers words were cut off by the sound of him clearing his throat.
"He was a good firefighter". Bailey nodded sympathetically knowing there was nothing he could say to make his father feel better. He spared a glance at Stella, the woman's face had grown solemn and she was staring sadly at the floor. It must've been a long few days for them.
"Hey, mind if I come in", Bailey shook himself out of his thoughts and turned to see Matt standing in the doorway a smile playing on his lips.
"Of course not". As Matt stepped inside Bailey's eyes wandered searching to see if anyone was with him or more specifically if Marley was with him. When his eyes landed on his friend standing a few feet behind Casey his shoulders sagged in relief all the tension evaporating from his body.
"I'll be right back" he said internally cringing at how desperate he sounded. He needed a second to breathe and be around someone he couldn't disappoint. As he got to his feet a hand weakly gripping his wrist pulled his attention back to the hospital bed.
"Bailey-"
"I just need to speak to Marley, I won't leave the building", when his father's eyebrows furrowed in confusion Bailey internally berated himself for not mentioning the woman earlier.
"Marley?" He opened his mouth to answer but was stopped by Matt's voice,
"I'll explain". He offered a grateful smile to the blonde before heading towards the door,
"I will be right back, I promise" .
Kelly's eyes were glued to the door, within seconds of Bailey's departure he found himself yearning for the boy's return. He needed to know for sure this wasn't a hallucination or a painkiller induced dream, he needed to know his boy wasn't going to disappear again. His heart was pounding in chest and his body began to shake, it was as if electric was coursing through his veins.
"Hey hey Kelly, it's ok he's going to be right back" Stella soothed as she tentatively squeezed his hand,
"He came back"
"Yeah he did",
"He came back" he choked out. After four years of waiting he was beginning to think he would never be able to utter those words. His head roughly dropped back down onto the pillow and he let out a deep breath. It couldn't be true, people only came back in the movies, real life wasn't this kind.
Kelly laid there frozen his Hands pressed against his forehead as he struggled to make sense of the situation. He could feel Stella gripping his hand and he was vaguely aware of tears streaming down his face, a few moments passed before he finally forced himself to speak.
"Marley?" He asked eager to know who his son had been so desperate to see.
"She's his friend, she brought him back". Kelly barely let the information sink in before turning his attention to the other question playing on his mind,
"Does Lily know?"
"Not yet but she knows somethings going on, I called Sylvie she's with her right now" Kelly nodded a small wave of relief washing over him.
"Good". He wanted either himself or Stella to be there when she found out, it was a lot for anyone to take in let alone a thirteen year old girl.
The sound of footsteps pulled his attention back to the doorway. He smiled weakly as Bailey stepped inside the room. Seeing Bailey stood beside Matt sent a pang of sadness in his chest, his son was now the same height as the firefighter maybe even taller. As he sat there taking in the boys appearance he realised just how much he'd changed. Bailey's hair was long and floppy once again, no longer shaved close to his scalp like it had been when he disappeared. There was also a hollowness to his face that made him feel uneasy. The longer he looked the more he wanted to pull the boy into hug, but he knew better than that. He didn't want a repeat of their earlier incident. Kelly could tell by the way Stella had been watching Bailey that she wasn't happy with him not getting checked out after passing out. Kelly felt uncomfortable about the whole situation, he hated feeling like a stranger to his own son. He'd never been very close with his own father, the man was rarely around which was why he'd spent as much time with Bailey as he possibly could. Even though he only had him every other week they had always made the most of their time. They'd never struggled to talk to each-other before.
"I uh I was thinking" began Bailey nervously, he was chewing his bottom lip and he seemed to be trying to look anywhere but at Kelly.
"Visiting hours must be coming to an end, Matt told me Stella's been staying here over night" the boy paused again taking in a deep breath as he fiddled with the sleeve of his sweater. No one said anything, they all understood Bailey needed time ; rushing him wouldn't do any good.
"If it's ok with you why don't I stay tonight instead and Stella can be with Lily"
"You don't have to Bailey" Kelly forced out after a few seconds. It wasn't what he wanted to say, he wanted to tell him to stay, he wanted him to never leave his side again but that wasn't what was best for Bailey. As much as he hated the thought of spending more time away from his son he hated the thought of pushing Bailey too far before he was ready even more.
Thankfully the younger man tilted his head up before stating,
"I want to".
"What about your friend?" asked Stella from her place beside him.
"She's going to stay in a hotel, she doesn't mind".
"Ok then if you're sure"
"I've never been more sure" he replied with a bright smile, the first one that had actually reached his eyes since he'd arrived. In fact Kelly wasn't sure when the last time he'd seen the boy genuinely smile was. It wasn't until Bailey had disappeared that Kelly had realised he hadn't seen him truly happy for a long time, he should've noticed sooner. There had been so many signs he missed. He wasn't going to mess up this time, he was going to be a better father this time.
It wasn't long before the time came for everyone else to leave. Bailey staying behind gave Stella the opportunity to explain to Lilly what was going on. Despite wanting to be there when she found out, Kelly had agreed it was for the best. The last thing they wanted was her finding out from someone else . As Kelly kept his gaze on Bailey he realised there was one more person who needed to know Bailey was back before anyone else. He cleared his throat and carefully pushed himself up in the bed,
"Does your mum know you're back yet?" . He already knew the answer, the very fact she wasn't there was his answer. He knew just like him she wouldn't want to let him out of her sight. An unreadable expression appeared on Bailey's face, he chewed on his lip for a second before shaking his head.
"Your apartment was the first place I went" began Bailey as he dragged his fingers through his hair.
"I don't know if I can face her Dad",
"You faced me kid",
"It's different",
"Why?Because she's not lying in a hospital bed",
"Because I was never as close with her as I was with you".
"That doesn't matter Bailey", he replied disbelief slipping into his tone. He couldn't understand how Bailey would think his mother wouldn't want to see him again simply because they weren't as close.
"Was she angry?" Bailey's question felt like a punch in the gut. He wished there was a way to explain how much they'd missed him without making him feel guilty.
"Not at you Bailey, never at you" . There was one person to blame for the heart ache they'd all suffered. Unfortunately Kelly had a horrible feeling Bailey would never see it that way.
"I'll go see her first thing tomorrow" resided Bailey in a flat tone.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No thanks, I'm not helping you leave that bed, I don't want to get on Stella's bad side",
a snort of laughter escaped Kelly's mouth as he shook his head in amusement.
"I can't say I blame you" he replied a warm feeling spreading across his chest. For a few seconds things almost felt like they used to, for a few seconds he didn't feel like a stranger to his own son.
