05. Just Trolling
The trolls were already making merry with Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven, and boisterously greeted Anna and pulled her into a group hug. Elsa watched in silence, hoping it would be a while before they noticed her. Grand Pabbie, still trailing Elsa, loudly cleared his throat, and all eyes turned in her direction.
Their synchronized blinks were the only sound before a cascade of voices burst from the crowd.
"Elsa-"
"Welcome-"
"Your Majesty-"
"The bed is over this way-"
"Thank you, but I'm fine. No need for the bed," Elsa said with a small smile.
Blink, blink. The trolls rushed closer.
"Look at you! All grown up!" Bulda drew Elsa into a hug, but quickly released her grip as a startled look replaced her cheerful demeanor. "Oh, you're freezing, you poor dear! Fetch some moss blankets! Kristoff, do you have any wool blankets in the sled? Anna, we need to borrow your cloak-"
"No, no, please. No need. I'm the Snow Queen, remember?" Elsa tried to explain to the field of stone-skinned faces. "This is just the way I am."
"If you say so," said Bulda skeptically.
"Trust me, it doesn't bother me."
"Well, but how are you ever gonna land a man like our Kristoff being all cold like that?"
"It's not something I worry about," Elsa said evenly. The trolls surrounded her even closer, and she felt her powers pushing for release as her panic rose.
"Oh, no, here we go!" muttered Kristoff. Anna smirked in anticipation of what was about to unfold.
"Darling, it's like this-" Bulda began.
Elsa knew some type of catastrophe was imminent: either an uncontrolled outburst of her magic striking the trolls around her -two of whom just so happened to be Kristoff's adoptive mother and their most skilled healer of magical injuries- or a very, very, very embarrassing song interlude. Possibly both. She had no idea what her powers would do to a troll, and she never wanted to find out. She was also unsure if she could keep her temper in check during a musical number extolling the wonders of romantic love and listing all the things she needed to do differently or change about herself in order to attract a partner.
Fortunately, she still had enough presence of mind to see a solution to the problem and enough focus to direct her magic. Hoping that the trolls were as easily distractible as humans, particularly children, whenever she felt a throng was packed too tightly around her or the comments and questions were becoming too uncomfortable or irritating, she resorted to her magical stress relief regimen: creating ice sculptures and portraits.
She did at least one session a day, sometimes many more if her magic had been otherwise unused and its restless energy was building. The artworks were then put on display throughout the castle before being cycled out to a free open-air viewing gallery along the courtyard's perimeter and finally to the Royal Gift Shop. The profit from their sale went to the funds for Arendelle's public education and public health. It was a very popular program since it reduced the outright tax burden on the locals for vital services and it decreased the likelihood of the Queen inadvertently dropping a glacier on the country.
Before Bulda could launch into the first verse, several dozen ice sculptures popped into existence on the amphitheater's steps. Murmuring amongst themselves, the trolls immediately abandoned the song and retreated from Elsa's personal space in order to inspect them. Elsa relaxed and quickly glanced toward her escape route and saw, much to her annoyance, that it was still blocked by the relentlessly enigmatic Grand Pabbie.
Upon seeing her look his way, he shuffled over to a cluster of sculptures and picked one up. Ambling past the bed they had prepared for her, he bent with effort to grab a moss blanket and stiffly proceeded to a position on the steps close to where Anna and Kristoff were unpacking the picnic basket. He draped the blanket over a step and gingerly sat down on it. He locked eyes once again with Elsa and invitingly patted the length of the blanket next to him.
Still rather less than willing to be there but knowing she could not politely take her leave until she had spoken with him, Elsa joined him. Her regally upright posture made eye contact between them somewhat difficult, so he gazed intently at the sculpture and ran his ancient fingers over it. It was of two human children and three troll children holding hands and dancing in a circle around a central grouping of crystals and mushrooms. The human children looked much like young Anna and Kristoff.
"The level of detail is astonishing. The fineness of the finish is exquisite. And I even like the subject matter."
"Thank you. They are gifts for your people to keep, if you so desire."
"We do." Grand Pabbie tilted his head up to look her in the face. "Do you have any questions for me?" encouraged Grand Pabbie.
"You told me that night that my power would only grow. Is that still so?" Elsa asked, suspecting the answer.
"Yes. It will always grow," Grand Pabbie confirmed.
"She's already pretty powerful," Anna cut in.
"It has been noticed," Grand Pabbie said dryly. He looked back at Elsa, waiting for her to say something more. She stared pensively at her clasped hands.
Elsa could hold a silence indefinitely. Anna didn't know if Grand Pabbie understood what he was up against, what kind of "monster" he had a hand in creating. While she had a fondness for the old troll and believed that he had meant no harm to her family, Anna felt that he needed to understand just how unhelpful his cryptic advice had been. She was also still mad about not being allowed to watch Elsa in the volcano, especially since she had danced. And now she was peeved that Elsa had found a way to preempt one of the trolls' infamous affectionate-yet-humiliating songs. Plus, Elsa and Grand Pabbie were the chief authority figures in her life and possessed the most natural dignity of anyone she knew. Watching the two of them make each other squirm would be such fun. So she turned to the other trolls near her as they examined the ice sculptures.
"Elsa also made a really neat slide to get down from the volcano. She does still have a playful side, even though she keeps it well hidden underneath the personality she developed during nine years without physical contact with another living thing," Anna told them loudly enough for a few rows to hear. Gasps rippled through her audience.
"Is that true, Queen Elsa?" a troll child asked with genuine concern.
"Yes, I really did make a slide to get down from the volcano," Elsa replied smoothly, as ice slides, ice merry-go-rounds, ice playhouses, ice jungle gyms, and ice swing sets appeared throughout the amphitheater and nearby valley floor. The troll children, most of the troll adults, Olaf, and Sven immediately set off to explore the new amusements the Snow Queen had provided.
Anna blinked. Her sister's ability to divert attention was both laudable and frustrating.
"I didn't think your parents would be so cruel," Grand Pabbie said quietly.
"It was my idea," Elsa said matter-of-factly. "I am dangerous."
"Translation from Elsa-speak: 'I think I'm a monster because just about everyone involved in this mess helped me pack a lot of baggage for my guilt trip,' " Anna broke in.
Kristoff buried his face in his hands; this visit was going downhill fast.
"Anna, especially you should understand just how dangerous I am. And so should Grand Pabbie. Whenever I say it's not safe and isolate myself, it's not because I'm shutting you out or don't love you; it's because my control over my powers is not and was not perfect, and I really, really, really don't want to hurt anyone," Elsa said sternly.
Anna sighed. "I know, I know. I'm just trying to help you explain things to Grand Pabbie because you're too polite and private and timid and clueless to say some stuff that he should probably know," Anna lectured. "Anyway, when we combine that with Grand Pabbie's own bad habit of being vague and seeming to misunderstand his own hints, it's a disaster waiting to happen. Again. I'd like to avoid that this time, if we can."
Grand Pabbie gave Anna an inscrutable look, but took the initiative. "How have you been feeling, Elsa?"
"Better."
"Grand Pabbie, unless you push her, you are going to get fifty straight one word answers before she says a complete sentence that actually has information that means something," interrupted Anna in between bites of her sandwich.
Kristoff shot her a cautioning look. He understood now why the Snow Queen was reluctant to be here. Anna completely ignored him.
"I merely appreciate concise answers. I think Grand Pabbie does as well," Elsa said with a roll of her eyes. Anna completely ignored her, too.
"Before we went up the volcano, you mentioned the problems that you had with your magic. Do you still have them?" Grand Pabbie asked before Anna could further hijack his questioning.
"Well, I think my magic will always be more aptly described as 'cooperative' rather than 'obedient,' " Elsa mused. "But I can usually restrain it more easily than I used to, now that I have a good feeling about it again and it has regular outlets. I can clear away all of the cold and ice and snow I make, and sometimes even the effects of my cold and ice and snow have on the surroundings, like during the Great Thaw. Doing more than I intend is still a little bit of an issue, and I'm not sure if it's because my control is just that bad, or if my magic is somehow listening too much to my underlying thoughts and subconscious wishes, or if the magic has a mind of its own sometimes."
"What serious mishaps of intention have you had since the Thaw?" queried Grand Pabbie.
" 'Mishaps' might not be the right word for the Snowgies and Sleipnir-" Elsa began.
"When you were feverish, your sneezes came to life! And you didn't even notice it! That's a serious problem!" Kristoff interjected. After trying to wrangle that disorderly horde, he wanted to prevent future outbreaks.
"You sneezed and created snowmen like Olaf?" Grand Pabbie asked in amazement.
"Not exactly like Olaf. They are much smaller, and they don't have arms. They also don't seem to talk, but they do understand language somewhat," Elsa explained.
"And they get into much more trouble," Kristoff added.
"Has this ever happened before?" the old troll asked.
"No," said Elsa. "I never had a cold before or since, and any other time I've sneezed, nothing happened. Well, I have sneezed out snowflakes a few times when I've handled really dusty books, but no ambulatory, free-willed snowmen."
"Your magic may have had a 'cold,' in a manner of speaking," Grand Pabbie suggested.
"Magic can get 'sick'?" Elsa asked, stunned by the implications. Kristoff gulped.
"Yes, it's possible."
"Oh, dear."
"In my experience, it's an extreme rarity, so I don't believe there will be another occurrence soon," Grand Pabbie said.
"That's a relief," said Kristoff. "She would need to build another ice palace for them if that's going to happen every time she gets the sniffles."
"And what is Sleipnir?" asked Grand Pabbie.
"A snow-horse," said Anna. "A really surly, headstrong, and fast snow-horse. Who can show up out of nowhere if Elsa calls him. He's scary."
"He is not that bad!" Elsa repeated. "I didn't mean to make him, and he doesn't always get along well with people and other animals, but he hasn't hurt anybody."
"He has an attitude problem only a mother could love," Anna teased. Elsa rolled her eyes again.
"How did you make him if you didn't intend to?" asked Grand Pabbie.
"I guess it was similar to what happened with Olaf. I thought I was just conjuring the shape of a horse made from snow while I was thinking and feeling other things during the process. And then suddenly the horse moved once it was formed," Elsa recounted.
"And what were you thinking and feeling?" Grand Pabbie coaxed.
"Probably that she wanted a horse to ride that she could handle," snickered Anna.
Elsa rolled her eyes again. "Among other things, yes, I was thinking that it would be nice to have a horse to ride that wasn't spooked by me," Elsa admitted with a sigh. Grand Pabbie squinted at her. Elsa sighed more deeply. "In general, animals are scared of me."
"They react to your fear of them; they aren't really scared of you," Anna insisted.
"In general, animals are scared of me," Elsa said again, ignoring Anna's statement. "None of our horses will let me touch them. The only times I've ever been on a horse have been with an experienced rider that the horse trusts at the reins, and even then it's been a struggle. Sven is the only animal so far who likes me. Maybe it's because he grew up in the presence of your magic, so he's used to whatever energy I give off. Or maybe he just doesn't mind that I'm cold."
"Very intriguing," Grand Pabbie said, and Elsa winced at his probing look. "Anything else?"
Elsa fidgeted with her hands, twisting and rubbing them. Anna had a good idea what Elsa was thinking. "I can tell him for you if it's too much..." she offered.
"The memorial stones," Elsa said barely above a whisper. "I cracked our parents' cenotaph markers. I swear I did not mean to do it." She crossed her arms over her chest, looking decidedly nothing like a reigning queen.
"Hey, it's all right. I told you I believe you. I do, I really do," Anna soothed. "They're just stones, anyway." Grand Pabbie looked at her quizzically, clearly interested in more of the story.
"Last year, Elsa waited for the first natural blizzard of the season so that she could finally go pay her respects without disrupting people's lives or the real weather," Anna continued. "Which shows just how responsible and aware she is, by the way. While she made it a little bit colder and made it snow a little bit harder-"
"I made it so icy and cold that granite boulders broke before I noticed that my powers were out of control," Elsa said sharply. "Hardly responsible and aware."
"They're just a little bit cracked, no pieces fell off. You reined it in as soon as you saw what was happening," consoled Anna.
"It shouldn't have happened in the first place!" Elsa got up and started to pace, tracing a path of frost. The trolls' attention shifted back to her, the playground equipment and sculptures forgotten for the moment. Olaf and Sven looked at each other helplessly.
"Be fair to yourself," said Kristoff. "You were mourning your parents. You need to let yourself feel deeply sometimes-"
"There's just the slight problem that my powers respond to my emotions," Elsa cut him off. She noticed the frost, and waved it out of existence. "I have to consider the consequences. Like freezing people to death or creating life."
Anna and Kristoff had no immediate reply to that. Grand Pabbie, all but ignored by the human visitors, watched them intently.
"Slip-ups are bad, and it's worse if I don't even notice right away," Elsa told them. "I must always be mindful of what I feel and how strongly I feel it, so that I can stifle my magic or guide it to do something different if its natural inclination will be dangerous or destructive. I know my control can never be absolutely perfect, but I need to work on reducing unpredictable and unintended large-scale results. For everybody's sake."
Anna and Kristoff looked downcast. The trolls were also very subdued.
"Beyond impressive," said Grand Pabbie. "This insight and level of commitment has been hard-won. You are wise beyond your years, Your Majesty."
"Thank you, but I know I'm not always going to live up to that standard," Elsa said dryly but not without a certain amount of embarrassed delight at his praise.
"And that scares you," Grand Pabbie perceived.
"Of course it does. What I am capable of intentionally is frightening enough. What I am capable of if I lose control of my magic during a panic attack or if I lose track of myself because of some other strong emotion..." Elsa's voice trailed off. "I realize now that being afraid, and being afraid of being afraid and on down the line, traps me in a very vicious cycle, even when I have a genuine reason to be afraid. So I know to be very careful.
"Another tricky and daunting thing for me is trying to think through all the ramifications of deliberately using my magic beforehand. So I try not to interfere with the real weather and other natural occurrences unless the situation is extremely important and there's no other way. I only quieted the volcano because so many lives and livelihoods were at stake, but there's still the worry that I somehow did more harm than good in the long term."
"I swear, Elsa, you can find anything to feel worried and guilty about," Anna chided. "You just saved Arendelle, not that anyone is ever going to know about it, and you're thinking up ways for it to go wrong."
"Actually, Anna, long-term aftereffects and chain reactions are of profound importance for magical beings, especially ones of the scope and magnitude of your sister," Grand Pabbie corrected. "It is -once again- impressive that she already understands this and accepts the responsibility. Not all magicals are that judicious and good-hearted."
"Taking all the likely far-reaching outcomes of a course of action into account was part of my training to be Queen," Elsa said with a touch of pride. "There's more to governing a country than saying 'Raise taxes!', 'Lower taxes!' and 'Off with his head!' "
"It is good to see that your extra burden has been of some help," Grand Pabbie said.
"It still would have been so much easier if my powers had come with an instruction manual," Elsa admitted with a sigh.
"Or if someone had been more clear with his advice and remedies," Anna said with more than a touch of sarcasm. "Or at least told us he was speaking in riddles."
"Anna!" Kristoff scolded. For all that Elsa had been opposed to visiting, Anna was being the more prickly one. Maybe it would be better to leave Anna at home the next time Grand Pabbie wanted to meet with the Queen.
"It's all right, Kristoff," said Grand Pabbie. "I do bear some of the blame for what Elsa and Anna have been through. I apologize."
"There is no need to, sir," said Elsa. "I am sure your powers have limitations just as mine do."
"Nonetheless, I still am sorry, Your Majesty," the old troll replied earnestly. "If you will allow it, I would like to do what I can to make amends. I will be as straightforward with my diagnosis as my magic permits me to be."
