AN: What's this? Me updating a reasonable amount of time after my last update?! This is new...
I don't really have much to say before this chapter, but I have some stuff to say after which I shall post at the bottom. So, for now: Enjoy!
The Enterprise's leaving date seemed to be coming around all too soon for the ship's crew.
Uhura and Spock had decided against taking a honeymoon; five years travelling though space was honeymoon enough for them, apparently, despite Jim's offer to fly them to Hawaii.
Jim spent a lot of his free time with Bones and Joanna, the latter of the two constantly teasing him about his dance with Carol at the wedding.
"You do like her!" Joanna squealed for the hundredth time, "Stop lying Uncle Jim or your nose will grow all long like Pinocchio's!" Jim rolled his eyes.
"It's not quite that simple, Jojo," he said. Joanna rolled his eyes.
"That's just what adults say to make things that they're scared of look more complicated." Joanna said before requesting that her father give her a piggyback for the rest of the way to the park they were going to.
Despite his earlier confidence about Joanna's wellbeing whilst he and Bones were away, Jim still found things to be worried about concerning his honorary niece. He'd become arguably too protective of her over the past two years and some rather disturbing thoughts were just starting to hit him.
For example: since he'd known Joanna, the two disasters that had threatened the Earth and its inhabitants had been avoided due to the Enterprise's intervention; if said starship was three years away and the planet was attacked again, Joanna could actually die. Jim had decided that there was absolutely nothing more terrifying than that thought, to the point where he would stay up all night torturing himself about it, ignoring the fact that it probably wouldn't happen.
He was also realising that the more time he spent with Joanna, the more terrified he got, and yet he couldn't not see her because he knew just how little time he had left with her.
It was driving him insane to the point where Jim came so incredibly close to pushing the Enterprise's leaving day back a week or two (or ten); he'd picked up his communicator and was about to contact the admiral who had been overseeing everything and anything Five-Year-Mission-related when a knock came at his door.
He opened it, communicator still in hand, to find Carol on the doorstep.
"Oh, is this a bad time?" she asked, noting the communicator, "I can come back later or call you or something...?" she trailed off, looking at a surprised Jim expectantly.
"No, no," Jim said quickly, realising that he was coming dangerously close to staring, "Come in, please." Carol smiled, relieved, and walked into his apartment as he held the door open for her. Jim glanced down at his communicator before sighing and cancelling the call; Carol interrupting him was probably fate or something, telling him not to do anything too drastic.
"Sorry about the mess," Jim said, grimacing when Carol entered the sitting room; his couch was littered with books and random items of clothing that he hadn't packed yet and there were piles on the floor from where Jim had played 'take, don't take, maybe take' when deciding exactly what he was going to pack.
"Oh, my apartment looks pretty similar at the moment," Carol said, grinning, "I, er... just came to see if you were alright." Jim frowned slightly.
"Me?" he asked, "I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?" Carol looked slightly guilty.
"Doctor McCoy asked me to check in on you," she admitted, "He said you seemed a bit... distant, the last time he saw you."
Jim grimaced, cursing himself for being that obvious; then again, he'd known Bones for what was nearing a decade, and obviously hadn't been paying much attention in that time if he thought that the doctor wouldn't pick up on his change of mood.
"Yeah," he muttered, "I guess I've just been losing some sleep. Excitement and all that, you know?" Carol raised an eyebrow.
"Well, I'm crapping myself about it, personally," she said, "After everything with Khan, I guess..." she shrugged, "Space is a bit daunting." Jim studied her for a moment before sighing.
"I'm worried," he confessed, "About leaving. About what I'm leaving behind." Carol met his eyes and she smiled sadly.
"About Joanna." She deduced. Jim laughed quietly but the sound was humourless.
"Yeah," he agreed, "About Joanna." Carol shifted a pile of books onto the floor and sat down on Jim's couch, making sure there was enough room to sit down next to her.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, her tone inviting but not prying. Jim sat down.
"I have no idea," he replied, "But I will anyway. Talking about things is supposed to help, right?" Carol shrugged.
"Who knows?" she asked rhetorically, "We're not psychiatrists. But... maybe I can help."
So Jim told Carol about his insecurities, about his fears about leaving Joanna. He told her about how he was worried that Bones might blame him if anything happened to Joanna whilst they were gone.
"You know, just before Bones told Joanna that we were going on this mission, he came here, so drunk he could barely stand, and said that it was my fault that he was having to leave his little girl behind. He said that I was making him choose between two things that were impossible to choose from," Jim told her, "And... he's kind of right. If I was a little bit more competent, if he didn't have to patch me up all the time-"
"Then he'd still be CMO on the Enterprise and he'd still be expected to go on this mission," Carol interrupted him, "You're not the only one on that ship that needs him, Jim." Jim grimaced.
"Stop being right when you're correcting my self-loathing," he muttered, nudging her playfully, "It's ruining my bad mood!"
"You are such a man!" Carol said, nudging him back and laughing, "Convinced that the world is on your shoulders! There are hundreds of people who are going on this mission and you think you're the one who's going to mess something up!"
"Hey, I never said my worries were logical," Jim replied, smirking. Carol simply rolled her eyes and told him to carry on feeling sorry for himself.
It was the late evening by the time Jim had gotten everything off his chest. He and Carol had gotten through a bottle and a half of wine and the latter of the two had convinced Jim that all of his worries weren't worth losing sleep over.
"There are plenty of other people and ships working for Starfleet, Jim," she said as she left, "I know they're not all competent, but the majority of them are. The planet will be in good hands whilst we're gone." Jim nodded, hugging her goodbye.
"Thanks, Carol," he said, "I guess I kind of owe you for boring you with my stupidity." Carol laughed.
"I actually found it quite comforting," she said, grinning when Jim looked confused, "Well, if the Captain's worried, then I suppose it's fine for me to worry as well." Jim rolled his eyes.
"Well, next time we'll talk about your worries," he said decisively. Carol nodded.
"I'd like that," she said, her smile almost shy, "Well, I'll see you next Monday, I suppose. Five days to go... where did the time go?!" Jim chuckled.
"I know exactly what you're saying," he replied, "I'll see you on Monday." He was about to shut the door behind her but he paused, suddenly thinking of Joanna and what she'd be saying if she was there.
"Ask her out! You do like her, Uncle Jim! Stop making it seem complicated just because you're scared. Justask her!"
With his honorary niece's voice echoing through his head, he pulled the door fully open again and poked his head out.
"Unless, you'd like to go to dinner?" he called after her. Carol stopped, glancing around with a surprised look on her face. "I mean... like... a date," Jim clarified, suddenly feeling like an idiot, "With me. Just the two of us. For... dinner..." he trailed off, inwardly cursing himself when Carol didn't immediately respond.
Then she smiled, "I'd like that," she said, "Er... Friday?" Jim smiled in relief.
"Friday," he agreed, "I'll pick you up at seven." Carol nodded.
"Okay," she said, blushing slightly, "Until Friday, then." Jim nodded, waving before heading back inside and closing the door behind him, leaning against it with a sigh.
He dreaded to think what Joanna's reaction would be like when she found out about him taking Carol out on a date. He was currently imagining squealing and a loud chorus of 'I told you so' that would last for the better part of a day. Maybe he just wouldn't tell her...
Jim simply grinned, realising that Carol was probably the first woman he'd taken out for a reason that wasn't 'she is good looking', and that it was more than likely down to Joanna that he'd found the courage to do so.
Who'd ever have thought that a child would be the one to make Starfleet's youngest captain more mature?
When the Enterprise's crew arrived at the loading bay to prepare for takeoff early the next Monday morning, they all seemed to simply know that it would be best to give their Captain and CMO a bit of space. Both men were tense and wearing fake smiles for the sake of the little girl who stood between them.
Only Carol was brave enough to talk to them and both men were civil enough towards her (Bones because he owed her for looking out for Jim, and Jim because their date had gone incredibly well and he wasn't quite ready to risk anything happening to discourage their relationship). She met Joanna's eyes several times, the little girl rolling them dramatically and grinning. Carol returned the smile, knowing full well that Joanna would be absolutely fine.
"Will the two of you please cheer up a little bit?" Carol asked exasperatedly, "Honestly, Joanna's happier than the two of you put together, and she's not even going into space!"
Both Jim and Bones looked down at Joanna who nodded in agreement. "If you two feel so bad about leaving," she said, her tone teasing, "Then I'll go instead and you can stay on Earth." The men smiled properly at that.
"I don't think that'd work, Jo," Jim said, "You see, you don't know how to captain a starship."
"Yet." Joanna added with a smile. Jim grinned.
"Yet." He agreed.
"And, frankly," Bones added, "You're about as good with anything medical as your mother." Joanna poked her tongue out at him.
"Blood is icky." She stated. Bones simply shook his head, crouching down and hugging her tightly.
"I'm going to miss you so much." He said gruffly, willing himself not to cry. Joanna hugged him back.
"I know," she replied, "And I'll miss you too. But you're not going forever, daddy! And you'll video chat me all the time, won't you?" Bones laughed disbelievingly.
"Of course I will, Princess," he said, pulling away and kissing her forehead, "Every day." Joanna smiled, hugging him again, trying to memorise the feeling.
She then turned to Jim who smiled sadly. She smiled back, reaching her arms out to him. Jim accepted her hug, squeezing her tightly. He didn't even feel the need to say anything.
Joanna, on the other hand, obviously did.
"Remember what you promised," she said seriously, her head buried into his shoulder, "Remember that said you'll come back." Jim smiled against her hair.
"I'll always come back, Jojo," he promised, "Always." Joanna nodded.
"Love you, Uncle Jim." She said. Jim froze for a moment, the fact suddenly hitting him that Joanna had never actually said that she loved him before. He looked up at Bones, who was just smiling proudly.
"I love you too, Jo," Jim replied. The little girl pulled away, smiling. She hugged her dad again.
"Love you, daddy." She said. Bones squeezed her tightly once before letting got.
"I love you too, Joanna." He said.
She nudged him in the direction of the smaller aircraft that would take them to the Enterprise, "You can't be late," she said as explanation. Jim smiled.
"They wouldn't leave without me, Bones and Carol!" he exclaimed, "We're the most important members!" Joanna laughed, hugging Carol.
"Bye," she said quietly, "Will you look after Uncle Jim for me?" Carol nodded.
"I'll try and keep him out of trouble." She said. Joanna laughed.
"Good luck!" Joanna said, "I don't think he knows what it's like to not be in trouble!"
Jim turned to glare jokily at Bones, "Stop telling your daughter things that aren't true!" he teased. Bones rolled his eyes.
"Come on," he said, "We need to go." Jim nodded, knowing what Bones really meant; that they needed to go now, whilst he was relatively willing to leave his daughter.
"Bye!" Joanna called after them as they walked to the shuttlecraft, "I love you!"
Jim and Bones waved to Joanna from the windows of the craft until it had properly taken off. Then they both sighed, sitting back in their seats.
"Have I made a mistake?" Bones muttered.
"No," Carol said immediately. The doctor looked at her questioningly.
"And what makes you so sure?" he asked gruffly. Carol simply shrugged.
"You're not going to be around forever," she said, "Joanna has seen more of you over the last two years than she has in the rest of her life. She told me so."
"What, you think she shouldn't get used to it?" Bones asked, his eyes cold. Carol met his gaze with her own steady one.
"I think that you need to realise that going away won't stop her being your daughter." She said. Then her look turned slightly judging, "Maybe you should have spoken to someone about your worries, like you made me with this idiot." She nudged Jim fondly with her foot, bringing the captain's attention to their conversation.
"What about me?" he asked.
"Tell Doctor McCoy that Joanna will be fine and that she'll still be his daughter when we get back." Carol told him.
"Jo will be fine, Bones," he said seriously, "And you'll still get to talk to her. It could be a lot worse." Bones rolled his eyes.
"Okay, okay," he muttered, "Enough with the deep, psychological crap. And stop ganging up on me! Christ, I'm starting to think this thing you two are having isn't such a good idea..."
"What thing?" Jim asked innocently, "There's no thing going on here."
"Yes, I honestly don't have a clue what you're talking about, Doctor McCoy," Carol joined in. Bones looked between the two of them before groaning.
"God help me," he grumbled, "I'll be lucky if I get back sane with the two of you acting like this..."
Jim and Carol shared a triumphant look, Jim slipping his hand into hers and interlocking their fingers.
"Five years in space," he murmured, ignoring his best friend's continued mumblings, "Possibly not the best time to start a relationship."
"Or it could be the best time," Carol reasoned, "Either way... I don't think I really care." Jim grinned.
"I don't think I do either," he told her.
"We're still not telling anyone," Carol said, her voice determined. Jim held his hands up in surrender, despite the fact one was still linked with hers.
"I know, I know," he said, "We're only three days into a relationship. That's way too soon to tell people anyway. We can barely even call it a relationship."
"It feels like longer," Carol admitted quietly, "Joanna's been bugging me for months to ask you out..." Jim's eyes widened.
"She's been bugging you too?!" he asked, "That girl is far too determined..." Carol smiled.
"But, I have to say, she had good ideas." She said, meeting Jim's eyes. Jim smiled slightly.
"Well, I suppose we can't fault her there." He agreed.
"If you two kiss I swear to god I will smash this window and kill us all." Bones threatened. Jim groaned, glaring at his friend.
"Must you?!" he hissed. Bones smirked.
"What can I say, kid, I need something to entertain me on this godforsaken trip!" Jim simply continued glaring, wondering what it was about the McCoys that made them so annoying yet impossible to hate.
"Don't listen to him," Carol said comfortingly, "He won't be like this when he finally falls for someone. And he's got five years working in the Med Bay; fifty percent of the medical staff are women so he's bound to fall for one of them."
Bones' eyes widened slightly, and the look was enough for Jim to forget about the doctor's previous comment. And as the Enterprise came into view, he forgot the conversation altogether. Suddenly, he was full with the original excitement he'd felt about the mission and was itching to get to his seat on the Bridge.
Five years in space. It was going to be one hell of an adventure.
So. I feel like I have two options here.
Option 1: I finish this story here. It seems like this would be the natural ending of this fic and that this would be a good place to leave it. However, I still have so much more to write for this, which is why I kind of favour option two...
Option 2: I carry on. I ignore the 'natural ending' and I write all that I have for this. Because, frankly, I feel like Joanna doesn't have enough of a part in this version of the Star Trek universe and, also, I kind of want to write past this point. This is Joanna aged 8; she literally has her entire life ahead of her at this point and there's so much more for Jim and Bones to be worrying about (cue Teenage Joanna and Starfleet Officer Joanna).
But I'm going to leave it up to you guys: I write for you. Sure, I do it because I enjoy it and I would love to continue this, but there's no point in me continuing it if you guys won't read past this point. So chuck me a line in a review, PM me, shout it really loud and hope that I hear; let me know what you think I should do.
In other news, reviews are actually worded happiness (scientific fact, right there) and if you just want to say that you enjoyed/hated this chapter then it would make my day! I thank all of you who have already reviewed/followed/favourited and I thank you even more for reading! Until the next time (possibly)!
