18. The Natives Are Restless
"He's that Kristoff," Bjarne confirmed with a grin.
"I'm really not that exciting," Kristoff said modestly, trying to head off the usual requests for autographs.
"Most people would disagree," said Duffin, shaking her head. "But I guess we should properly introduce ourselves, since we'll probably be meeting tonight at dinner anyway. I'm Carol Duffin, historian of magic."
"I'm Dr. John Scurr, recently hired by Arendelle's university and health care system," Scurr said, holding out his hand. Kristoff shook it gently.
"I hope we haven't scared you off. Our sense of humor is an acquired taste," Kristoff apologized.
"Quite the contrary," said Scurr with a smile. "So far I've found Arendelle to be refreshing and friendly."
"Yes, everyone has been very welcoming and helpful," Duffin added.
"That's good. We're still pretty new at being a tourist destination," Kristoff admitted.
"How do your fellow-" Scurr began to say but was cut off by a loud crash and several thuds followed by the sound of something made of metal, probably a soup pot, rolling on the cobblestones.
"Sorry! So sorry! I'll get it!" rang out a very familiar young woman's voice, coming from one of the nearby cross streets.
"Oh, no!" gasped Kristoff. "Listen, if you want to continue this conversation, we have to get out of here. Because I have to get out of here!"
"What's wrong?" Duffin asked, confused.
"Princess Anna is in the general vicinity," Bjarne deadpanned.
"I'll be back later, Bjarne. And if she asks, you haven't seen me," Kristoff begged, heading in the direction away from the crash. He would race across heaving sea ice during a hurricane of snow for her any time, but shopping with her was a different matter entirely.
"My lips are sealed," Bjarne said with a wink and a wave.
"Why do you want to get away from Princess Anna?" Duffin asked, confused, but following Kristoff.
"Because she is shopping for a dress with one of her friends," Kristoff explained.
"Time for evasive maneuvers!" Scurr agreed and matched Kristoff's pace.
"What's so bad about that?" Duffin asked, confused, but keeping up.
"They are going to ask if it makes them look fat," Kristoff said as he navigated a turn down another lane lined with shops.
"Ah, the question that has plagued man since women's fashion was invented," Duffin quipped. "Where are we going? Would it be near the bank?"
"I was going back to the stables, which probably isn't the sort of place you'd want to see, but I can swing you by the bank on the way," said Kristoff as he made a sharp left turn.
"So how do your fellow Arendellians like being a tourist destination?" Scurr recovered his train of thought now that the danger had passed.
"Most of us like the positives enough to put up with the negatives," Kristoff allowed, slowing to normal walking speed. "And we're still finding ways to reduce the negatives. Queen Elsa and some of her advisers are pretty good at problem solving."
"So we've heard," Scurr said with a chuckle. "It's one the reasons I took the job. I look forward to working with a government that actually wants to improve the people's lives and advance the frontiers of medical science."
"You'll fit in just fine, then," Kristoff said as he came to a halt in front of the bank. "Well, I'll see you tonight at dinner. Finding your way around really isn't that hard, but if you get lost just ask someone or look for one of the map placards at certain corners."
"Thank you, Master Bjorgman," Duffin said. "And we won't say anything to Princess Anna about our little emergency exit."
"You'll understand once you meet her," Kristoff said fondly. "She's an amazing person and everybody loves her, but she can be a disaster area when she's out shopping. Good-bye!"
Duffin and Scurr waved to the Ice Master as he strode off. "I begin to wonder which member of Arendelle's royal family is the more dangerous," Scurr remarked dryly.
"I'm sure they take turns," Duffin said with a sly smile and made for the bank's door. Scurr followed her in.
If they had lingered outside a mere one minute longer, they would have met up with Scurr's wife, Irene, and two children, seven-year-old Beatrice and nine-year-old Adam; and Professor Mandelbaum's wife, Debora, and eighteen-year-old daughter, Zlata. They were quickly becoming friends, and had joined up on an excursion to shop for more household goods for their extended stay and to get better acquainted with the port town.
"And there's the bank," Irene noted. "The funds are still holding up, so we don't need to stop in yet."
A little beyond the bank, the lane widened invitingly. The brightly colored signs and flags decorating the shops could not help but attract attention. Young Beatrice and Adam stared entranced at the picturesque buildings and vivid logos.
"What's this, then?" Debora queried. They all took slow steps toward the lane, as if hesitant to enter this strange new world while simultaneously being compelled to by a feeling they could not name.
They stopped before an immaculate storefront with large windows. The shop's sign proudly displayed Arendelle's royal crest: a gold crocus on a split field of purple and green. To their surprise, the lettering was in the Disnee language as well as the local Arendellian. It read: "The Royal Gift Shop." They looked around and saw that the other signs were also in Disnee.
As if on cue, all the merchants stepped out of their doors in unison and gathered around the prospective clients. The shopkeepers paired off and began to dance and sing, each couple taking a line, while they all joined in the chorus verses:
There is cheese to be sampled.
Snow globes to be bought.
If you want a novelty, then
You've come to the right spot.
And if you have the budget for magical ice
Just open up your wallet, don't think twice.
We're here to help you find
The perfect souvenir. We'll pack it nice and neat,
But if you change your mind,
There are no returns without the receipt.
We have dolls of Princess Anna,
But we've sold out of the Queen.
We hope to get more in before
Your daughter turns sixteen.
Don't buy one in Weselton at a lower price,
The crooks there don't sell licensed merchandise.
If you have buyer's remorse
About the trinket that's a little too offbeat,
Don't fret; you have some recourse
But only if you have saved the receipt.
You got gifts for your neighbors
And your friends on your splurge.
You don't know why; it was
Like a primal urge.
We understand it fully, and to be blunt
We made it so you feel the thrill of the hunt.
We hope you come again next year.
We'll share a laugh and the reunion will be sweet
If you are worried, have no fear:
It's the one return you can make without a receipt!
With that, the merchants casually went back into their respective stores. The Scurrs and the Mandelbaums stared at each other in complete bafflement, unsure if what they had witnessed was part of a well-choreographed routine developed for the entertainment of the tourists or one of those zany, spontaneous moments that make traveling so utterly fascinating. They giggled, turned back to the Royal Gift Shop and peered in a window - and then saw them.
Glittering in the window were the most marvelous sculptures any of them had ever seen, the crystal refracting the light at the edges. One was of a sailing ship so expertly done they could almost feel the wind and the sea spray; all the rigging was extraordinarily detailed and perfectly scaled, down to the finest rope and smallest pulley. Another was of Arendelle's distinctive castle, again an exact, flawless replica. Another was of a mountain, standing alone and tall, very steep on one side and slightly curved on the other, giving it a vaguely fang-like point. They could see others inside the shop. They had to go in.
Upon entering, they immediately turned to the sculptures in the window exhibit and on nearby shelves. Young Beatrice was immediately drawn to one of a cheerful snowman riding a happy reindeer in a field of wildflowers, while Adam was amused by one of the same snowman and reindeer sprawled out on a tropical beach, lounging on realistically textured sand beside a grove of coconut palms. Zlata's breath was taken away by a waterfall, the cascade's flow captured with exquisite artistry, flanked by evergreens and willows. Debora gaped at a large one of the whole of Arendelle town, complete with sheer cliffs as a backdrop, ships approaching the harbor, and people in the streets going about their business.
"Who makes all these?" Irene whispered as she picked up the one of the mountain in the window case. It was pleasantly cool to the touch and smooth beyond description. She looked at the bottom of the base and saw the inscription in elegant handwriting: "Snow Queen Elsa of Arendelle." There was a snowflake emblem preceding it and a crocus figure at the end. "The Queen's magic ice!"
A practical application of Elsa's ice was on display at the docks, in use as a temporary seawall, jetty, and scaffolding, but this put everything in a new perspective.
"Yes, ma'am," said a woman behind a counter. "Her Majesty has a knack for it. Most of what you'll find in here was made by the Queen. All proceeds go to our schools and clinics."
Irene, sensing that she would be in need of her husband's medical skills if she looked at the price tag, carefully returned the miniature mountain to its position in the window case. "Adam, put that down before you break it!"
The woman behind the counter chuckled. "Don't worry, ma'am. They're all unbreakable. You can drop them from any height, throw them, hit them with a hammer, take a saw or axe to them, put them in a fire or boiling water, and they'll be fine. None of the scientists that come to test Queen Elsa have found anything so far that can damage them."
The group gawked at the sculptures in even more awe than before. Out of curiosity, Debora checked the price tag of the scale model of Arendelle, and did a quick mental calculation. "Hmm, once I get back into giving lessons regularly, this should only come to about three days' pay..." she mused.
"More are being shown at the castle's courtyard; most of them will make their way here when space there runs out," the shopkeeper informed her.
"Oh, can we go there next, mama?" Beatrice asked.
"May I point out some of our other offerings? We have ice-fabric capes, some footwear made of ice -in case you've always wanted Cinderella's glass slipper look or ice skates made from ice- snow globes, optical devices, dolls, chess sets, a few pieces of jewelry, and various decorative and functional household goods," the shopkeeper said helpfully, gesturing to the items as she spoke.
"Queen Elsa can make all of that?" Adam questioned.
The woman chuckled again. "Young sir, there isn't much Her Majesty can't make. If you're still here on Saturday, I highly recommend watching the Queen's magic show."
Irene and Debora shared a look, wondering if working in Arendelle would pay for these temptations that were a byproduct of living in Arendelle. Zlata had already wandered over to the table that had the "optical devices."
"A very good choice, young lady," said the shopkeeper. "Those are our best sellers."
Zlata picked up something that looked like a short, stout monocular made of ice, and walked over to one of the windows to give it a try. She held it up to her eye and exclaimed, "Oh, mother, we simply must get one of these for father and Waclaw! This is fantastic!"
"Actually, young lady, if you turn the wheel by the eyepiece, you may get even better results," the shopkeeper hinted. Zlata did as suggested.
"Oh, mother, we must get one for Jakub, too! The wheel changes the focus. Come see for yourself," Zlata said as she held out the spyglass for her mother.
Debora took it and looked through it, adjusting the dial. "Oh, my heavens! How did the Queen make this?" Debora asked as she inspected it.
"Magic, ma'am," said the shopkeeper with an understanding smile. "Her Majesty has mentioned something about lenses and prisms, but it's all beyond me. They are also unbreakable and unmeltable; no one has succeeded in taking one apart yet."
"Can I look, mama?" Beatrice asked.
"Certainly, my dear," Irene said. "And then let your brother look, too."
The young children were flabbergasted. "Please, can we get one, mama?" implored Adam, holding it out for her to try.
Irene had to admit the clarity and power of the ice-glass far surpassed any other she had ever looked through. And the utility, even for landlubbers, of such a thing was obvious. She risked a look at the price tag. "Oh!" she said in pleasant surprise. "This is quite a bit less than a real spyglass - not that this isn't real, mind you. I mean one made of glass and metal."
"They are military surplus," the shopkeeper informed her. "Although the usual production costs don't apply to the things Queen Elsa makes, anyway; it's just that we ended up with more of them than our armed forces needed. We also have binoculars and some medium strength -by Her Majesty's standards- telescopes."
"I'll take one," said Debora. "And I'll come back with Eliasz and Waclaw, because I'm sure they will want to check out the telescopes."
"I'll take one, too," said Irene. "It's a tool and a diversion in one package. We'll probably end up getting one for each family member, but let's start with one."
"Thank you, mama!" Adam and Beatrice chorused.
"You'll have to share for now. If I hear any fighting about it, I'll throw it in the fjord," Irene threatened without really meaning it.
"They float," the shopkeeper cautioned.
"Of course they would," Irene said with a shake of her head.
The families handed over the money; the shopkeeper handed over their receipts, which the adults made sure to stow securely. Then shopkeeper attached neck cords made of ice fabric to the monoculars, and put them in pouches with shoulder straps, also made of ice fabric. "Quite the deluxe package," Zlata declared.
"That's just the way Her Majesty does things," the shopkeeper replied matter-of-factly. "Good day to you."
"And to you," Debora said as they went through the door. "But I suspect we'll be back before too long."
"Only our first business day here not spent unpacking, shopping for food essentials, and recovering from our voyage, and we've already bought trinkets," Irene observed with a laugh as they strolled off.
"It's for a good cause, Mrs. Scurr," Debora rejoined. "Probably helps pay our husbands' salaries. From our pockets into theirs..."
Adam had taken the monocular out and was using it to look around. "Ooh, this would be even better if I could get someplace up high!"
"Don't you even think about climbing anything, young man! Put it back in the pouch and give it to me," Irene instructed. Adam looked a bit crestfallen but obeyed without protest.
"Can we go see the other sculptures in the courtyard now, please?" asked Beatrice.
"I suppose, dear, but we need to think about getting a bite to eat as well," Irene said. Hungry children were often grumpy children. "Let's look for a snack vendor on the way."
They made their way to the waterfront, or at least thought they were until they realized they were headed more toward the center of the commercial district. They stopped and scanned the area to get their bearings - and were nearly bowled over by a young lady walking backwards while talking excitedly to a similarly-aged woman. The one who had bumped into them had strawberry blonde hair in two tight braids and was wearing a green skirt, straw-colored blouse, and an open, snug-fitting black vest, all beautifully embroidered with the rosmaling favored by the natives; her friend had honey blonde hair in a simple ponytail and was wearing a much more plain dark grey skirt and vest over a white blouse.
"Sorry! So sorry! Are you all right?" asked the redhead. "I should have been looking where I was going."
"We're fine," Debora told her. "We shouldn't have stopped in the middle of the street."
"Oh, but that's more normal around here than walking backwards," the redhead insisted. "All the visitors make a wrong turn at least once, which isn't to say that the locals don't make wrong turns, too, sometimes, because Arendelle does kind of sprawl and go up and down and we don't have a nice neat grid and-"
"What can we help you find?" her blonde friend interrupted.
"Just the waterfront," Irene said. "And I'm pretty sure it's that way. We wanted to find something quick and easy to eat and then head to the castle courtyard to look at the ice sculptures."
"Dagmar and Arvid's sandwich shop is just the place. We'll take you," the redhead offered.
"Thank you, but we don't want to be a bother. If you could tell-" Debora started.
"I almost knocked you over. I have to do something to make it up to you," the redhead maintained.
"Usually, apologizing is sufficient," Debora explained.
"Yes, usually," the blonde friend deadpanned. From her tone, the Scurrs and the Mandelbaums had the feeling that the redhead frequently reacted this way and that resistance was futile.
"Stefanie, you know that Dagmar and Arvid's place is off the main street. It's simpler to take them there than to tell them how to get there," the redhead contended.
"True enough," acknowledged Stefanie, and gave the group a good-natured but resigned look.
"Come on, then, let's go!" the redhead said happily, bounding off.
"Just roll with it," Stefanie told them. "It really is a good sandwich shop."
Somehow, the families trusted the blonde's judgment, both on the quality of the eatery and the general prudence of the venture.
"How long have you been in town?" the redhead asked Zlata as she lead them down a side street.
"Since Saturday," Zlata replied shyly.
"Will you still be here on Friday for the start of the Harvest Festival?" the redhead asked as she made a right turn.
"Yes," Zlata replied even more shyly. She wasn't sure how to tell this almost intimidatingly friendly person that her father worked at the university and that while they were new to Arendelle, they weren't tourists.
"It's going to be so much fun!" the redhead gushed. "There's going to be food, crafts, games, music, and dancing; and a big magic show and ball at the castle on Saturday. I can get you tickets for the magic show, but I don't think I can get you into the ball. Everybody is welcome to hang out in the courtyard, though. It usually turns into a better party than the one inside the castle."
"Now you tell me," Stefanie said drolly.
"You have to go; you've already picked out the gown," the redhead teased back and came to stop in front of a narrow storefront. "Ladies and gentleman, this is the place." She opened the door.
"Are we going in?" asked Stefanie.
"Well, yeah. We have to show them the way to the courtyard, too," the redhead stated.
"Are you sure you-" Stefanie began.
"Of course I'm sure," the redhead said adamantly.
"We really don't want to be a bother," Debora repeated. "I'm sure we can find the waterfront."
"I'm going that direction anyway," the redhead reassured her. She held the door open and gestured everybody else inside before entering herself and shutting the door.
"Hello, Princess Anna!" greeted the woman behind the counter, presumably Dagmar. "What a wonderful surprise!"
"How nice to see you, Princess Anna!" chirped the man, most likely Arvid.
"Princess Anna?!" said the Scurrs and the Mandelbaums in unison.
Author's Note - I warned you there might be singing, and I would kinda like feedback on how well you think song interludes work within the overall feel of the rest of the story. "The Gift Shop Song" is meant to be sung in the style of the old Shaker hymn "Simple Gifts" by Elder Joseph Brackett. It's not an exact match, meter-wise, so you'll have to elide or add in some notes. Probably the best Youtube version for this particular setting is the one by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
I'll be appropriating some public domain folk and classical tunes, some Broadway numbers, some Gen X chestnuts, and even some so-called "epic music."
