I spent all day yesterday and most of today worrying if Stefan was able to deliver my message to Ben and praying that my plan will be able to go off without a hitch. If everything went well Ben was able to read my letter and knows that we are pregnant. I wonder what his reaction was and instantly I wish that I could have been there to see his face.

I'm no different than any other girl growing up. I always dreamed of being proposed to, getting married, and having children with the man I love. When I was a little girl, I could never put a true face to the man that this would be, but now when I dream about these events Ben's face is firmly planted in my mind's eye. When I envisioned telling Ben about us being pregnant, I pictured him lifting me off of the floor in an enormous bear hug kissing me and twirling me around as he held me and then telling me how happy he is. Life can be really cruel sometimes.

I managed to eat a handful of saltine crackers this morning and thankfully I've been able to keep them down. With Claire and Tripp working at the café, I managed to get the assignment for my Bio-Ethics class finished before I need to head over to the pub for my shift at noon. All I really want to do is go up to my room curl up in a ball and cry, but I can't do that. I have to be strong for Ben and I have to be strong for our baby. They need me. I place my hand on my abdomen and sigh, "Sweetie, momma is going to do everything to free your daddy. He didn't do this, and he is not going to sit in jail and rot if I have anything to say about this. I just need you to know that your momma loves you so much and if your daddy got my letter, I'm sure he is already in love with you too." I don't actually feel any changes in the appearance of my body, but I feel better putting my hand where it will be closest to him. In my mind we are having a boy, I'm not sure why, but it's a boy. If it's a girl, I'll be just as happy as long as whatever our baby is, they are healthy. When my shift is over, I plan to head over to the police station to see Ben. I plan to do a lot of yelling and screaming to make everyone in the cop shop believe I feel betrayed by Ben and that is why I warned him about how I plan to get in to see him.

I take a few more beats to relish this alone time I have with the little guy and then quickly head up to the shower to get ready for my shift. I'm so desperate to have any piece of Ben with me I snagged some of his shower gel when I was moving my things out of the gatehouse and use it in the hopes of washing this horrible mess, we have found ourselves in away. I love his smell. It brings me comfort and makes me feel safe; I just wish he were really here with me. I want to feel his arms I want to feel his lips. They center me. Unfortunately, the shower gel doesn't work as I hoped, but it does help to calm me because Ben's scent is near me. I hastily towel off, dress and tame the beast that is my hair. Ben always says how he loves my long hair. He's always tugging on it or running his hands through it whenever he gets the chance too.

I head down the stairs and grab a sleeve of saltines to place in my purse in case I feel hungry later, but before I can leave there is a knock on the door. I am puzzled by who would be stopping by at this time of day and hesitantly open the door.

"Delivery for Ciara Brady."

"That's me."

"Please sign here" the delivery man states.

I quickly scrawled my signature on the directed space and he then hands me a small envelope, before saying, "Have a nice day."

"You too, sir."

I close the door quickly and open the envelope, curious about the contents being sent to me. I quickly recognize the neat and tidy print that belongs to Ben and I can't help but smile.

Ciara,

Thank you for speaking with Stefan. He spoke with Eli and between the two of them, they managed to get Justin Kiriakis to be my lawyer. I'm out and I need to see you. Stefan is away on business for the weekend and has offered to let us stay in the mansion while he is away.

He said to use the tunnels to get here. Go to the park that is closest to the Horton Town Square. At the park, there is a utility shed that has a door marked 'Employees Only'. Go to this door and enter the six-digit date of our first kiss. This code will allow you to open the door, close it behind you and then go down the stairs and then turn left down the hallway. This will take you to another door where you will need to enter another code, use the date for the first night we went out. Once you are through this door you will need to take the third of the right turn options and from there you will find the final door and code you will need to get to me. Use the date for the first time I told you that I love you. This door will get you into the tunnels that are underneath the mansion. Go up the stairs and push the wall in front of you to move the bookcase which will bring you into the DiMera living room and me. I'll be waiting for you.

I love you,

Ben

Ben is out. Thank God. I place my right hand back on my abdomen and take in a deep breath. "Your daddy is out little one and we are going to go and see him after momma gets through her shift at the pub. Maybe it will be super slow, and Uncle Roman will let me go early."

I quickly grab a different purse big enough to throw in a change of clothes and a pair of pajamas, collect my saltines from the other purse and then once again head out the door for work.

Unfortunately, my hopes of being able to leave early are dashed. The pub is already hopping when I get there and the stream of customers continues to be steady during my entire shift. Once I clock out, I head toward the bathroom to change my clothes, but quickly change my mind. I don't want to waste a minute to even change my clothes. I want to see Ben; I need to see him now. I head out the back exit of the pub and hastily walk through the Horton Town Square toward the park Ben has instructed me to go to. I subtly check to make sure no one has been following me. There is a couple walking through the park holding hands. It makes me long to do the very same thing with Ben and more…

I sit down on the bench and pull out my phone pretending to look at my messages. I wait for them to leave and quickly walk to the back entrance of the park. From there, I can see if anyone is coming toward either entry point and it is closest to the 'Employees Only' door I need to enter. Never in my life did I think that I would not only venture into the DiMera tunnels but do it willingly to get to the man I desperately love.

When I see that no one is near either access point I calmly walk over to the door, shield the keypad with my left hand and enter the date Ben asked me to enter, the day of our first kiss. Our first kiss…I instantly begin thinking about that night. Him kissing me gently at first and then with a bit more hunger but I quickly shut those thoughts down. I need to focus. I need to be aware of all my surroundings to make sure I am not followed and that I am following these instructions precisely.

I quickly open the door and shut it tightly behind me. I breathe a quick sigh and move on toward the stairs. At the bottom, I take the left hallway and enter the next code for the door, our first date. I think about our picnic in December and the Chinese food he fed me. Regrettably, the thought of Chinese right now makes me want to hurl. So, the little packing peanut I'm carrying is not fond of the idea of me eating Chinese, this could be a long nine months. After I walk through this door, I close it behind me and dig around in my purse to find the saltines in hopes of calming my stomach.

I move along the trail that Ben has set out and get to the third right turn that is available to me. I enter the digits of the date that will probably rate as one of the top five best days of my life, the day that Ben and I first made love and when we told each other we loved each other. I can't help but wonder if this is the night that we made Packing Peanut and I instantly clutch my tummy and smile. "We're almost their baby," I whisper.

I walk down the long tunnel and then dash up the stairs. I take a deep breath when I reach the top and then push the wall in front of me. It moves easily enough. When I step out from behind what I know is the bookcase, Ben is not there, but I'm not alone.

"Well hello, Miss Brady."