Running.
Breathing
Gunshot.
Yelping.
Panting.
Nothing…
Hailey Upton lets out a loud gasp as she sits up in her bed. Shaky hands cover her face, letting the darkness take over her sight all over again. She brings up her knees so she can rest her elbows on them. Her jaw clenches as she swallows back tears, ones she's shed every day since the night that this nightmare was actually real.
Her fingers comb through messy blonde waves before she lets out an audible exhale. She glances over at her phone, pressing the home button to check the time. It's 5:26 – four minutes until her alarm goes off. She's thankful because she won't have to try and fall back asleep, when those reminders will slither back in.
There's no need for her to shower because she washed away the long day the night before. Hailey dresses in her blue police patrol uniform – the same one she's been wearing since she became a police officer nearly six years ago. Her hair is brushed back into a high ponytail, secured with a beige hair tie. Her makeup is minimal: concealer underneath her eyes to hide the dark circles, pencil eyeliner and some mascara to give extra life to her blue eyes, and light blush to bring some color back to her face. It camouflages all of her sadness and grief.
She walks out of her bedroom, past the kitchen because she'll just get a quick cup of coffee from the breakroom and stops at where her shoes and keys are.
There used to be two more things hanging on the hooks next to her keys. There used to be so much more scattered around her apartment, but they've been packed away. The physical reminders may be gone but the memories will be alive with her every moment of every day. She's been told that it wouldn't be this way forever and one day she'll wake up and feel normal again.
She leaves her apartment and gets in her car. She glances over to the passenger seat and a small smile graces her face before she reaches over and rubs the cloth fabric. When she pulls her arm back, she looks at her fingertips, finding them clean.
She drives with the windows rolled down. It's the springtime and this was one of the most joyous parts of her day. Feeling the breeze hit her face and moving through her hair to tickle her forehead and cheeks, looking over to the passenger side and laughing until she arrived at her destination were moments she never knew she'd cherish so much until now. All those moments vanish when she got to the station, where her serious game face took over her entire being.
"The captain would like to speak with you in his office," is how Trudy Platt greets her this morning. Trudy usually asks Hailey how she's doing before giving her her patrol car and assignment. Maybe she's tired of asking because Hailey's answers are always the same, brief, and simple.
Hailey still finds herself walking all the way up to Trudy's desk and sighs. "Any mention of what for?"
Trudy shakes her head, resting her forearms down on the front desk and leaning slightly forward, "I didn't ask. Frankly, I don't think it's really any of my business. But I'm sure it's nothing too bad on your part."
Hailey gives her a look and then nods. When she turns she notices that the door to the captain's office is open.
"Captain Donaldson." Hailey greets as she enters the office.
"Upton, it's good to see you this morning." The heavier-set and older man says to her, pointing to the chair from across his desk, "please have a seat. There's something I'd like to discuss." He stands up and sits at on the edge of the desk, "It's good news."
"Okay," she complies, smoothing out her uniform before taking a seat.
Donaldson smiles at her. "We've found you a new partner, Hailey."
Hailey blinks in response. Her eyes glance away, focusing on the spines of books on shelf that line his office. She knows this day would eventually come but she's not particularly ready to hear this.
"I've already told you I don't want a new partner," she responds when her eyes travel back to him.
"Then you'll have to be transferred out of this specialty unit and remain on patrol, which I know you must be tired of doing by now. It's an awful shame because you're one of the best handlers we've had in a long time."
Is he trying to guilt her into staying? She already feels enough guilt for what happened just two months ago.
"Come on, let's take a walk. You can meet him right now." He stands up and allows her to walk out in front of him.
When she gets past him, Hailey hopes that Trudy will lift her gaze to her because her face is screaming for help. But the older woman doesn't, she's speaking to a patrol duo and dangling keys to their car in front of their faces.
Hailey knows exactly where Captain Donaldson is taking her as they walk out the back of the station and head over to another building lined with fenced yards and kennels. She can see the rows of the outside kennels with dogs lying down or pacing back and forth, ready to work.
They go inside of this particular shelter-like building. There are more kennels inside where the younger dogs are kept. As they walk down the rows of Retrievers, Bloodhounds, Shepherds, the dogs take notice and start to become excited.
Captain Donaldson stops in front of a kennel on their left.
Hailey swallows back nervously before taking a quick look at the dog inside. From the glance Hailey guesses that the dog is a German Shepherd, mostly black with a slight mix of tan. She can't bring herself to stare for too long.
"This is Bruno. He's about two years old. He's a dual purpose K9, the trainer said he's the Golden Boy of his group. He can alert to narcotics."
"I don't work narcotics. I'm in tracking, Captain. I do search and rescue." Hailey explains. Well, that's what she used to do. Actually, Hailey misses when she was in the search and rescue team because that's been her dream job ever since she was younger. The job made her feel like she was truly protecting and saving people. It gave her life its meaning.
"Well, he's a dual in narcotics and he can still do tracking. He's ready for the field and you need a new partner. This isn't up for negotiation. When you took on the trainer and the handler courses, you were taught each possible path. And you picked it all up pretty quickly. Apparently, Bruno has too. Seems like you two are the perfect match."
He told her the same thing the day she met her first working partner, which Hailey was way more excited for in comparison to now.
"He can do everything that your old partner can do and a few extra tricks."
"Xena." Hailey corrects him, not caring if she sounds too harsh with her superior. "Xena may be dead but she still and will forever have a name. You can't erase her and replace her with him." I won't erase her and replace her with him. She points her finger towards the cage with the mostly black German Shepherd, who is panting and pacing frantically, inside of it.
His eyes are alert on Hailey's movements and she gives the dog a look, indicating that he's not going to pull her in that easily.
"Bruno. He has a name and it's Bruno." The captain responds. "Now, I'll let you two get acquainted with each other because you have a unique and important assignment coming your way." His tone changes to something happier, more hopeful, before he turns on his heel and leaves Hailey alone in the kennels.
It confuses Hailey. Her arms cross over her chest as she silently curses her captain.
She won't let herself look back into the brown eyes of the animal who is seeking her approval. His eyes are the same color as hers and she knows the resemblance will make her feel like she being stabbed in the chest. He starts barking loudly because he's eager for her attention, the sound echoing and mixing with the other dogs barks and whines. Hailey's lips curl inwards because she's not going to let herself start crying.
"Quiet," her voice is hushed and not really demanding of him. Maybe she's telling herself to be quiet.
Hailey glances to her left, seeing an officer across from her leashing up one of the precinct's Belgian Malinois's. The handler says a command to the K9 in Dutch to heel while he locks up the kennel. They walk past Hailey, the male officer nodding at her and then look down at the canine to make sure Hailey isn't a distraction. They must be going to training.
All of the K9 stay and are cared for at the kennels until they graduate the training program with their handlers. From there the dogs go to live with their handlers, or partners.
She knows she needs to be more professional about this and less emotional. She could switch between the two with a snap of her fingers but after experiencing the loss of her first K9 partner, she's a mess. Hell, the dog is being more professional than she is.
"Fine, but you better be the Golden Boy they keep raving about." Hailey gives in because she can't be late to her first class – all over again.
She keeps a straight face and her head held high as she grabs the leash hanging outside of his kennel. Then she unlocks the door to the kennel, slipping past the small crack she left for herself to enter through. Bruno jumps up and Hailey turns her back on him, telling him "down" and then "sit". She's not sure if Bruno is trained with English or German commands. Hailey knows both, as well as Dutch. Xena responded with English commands.
She slowly peers over her shoulder to see if Bruno obeyed her. She can hear his heavy panting and his fervent whining. When Bruno catches Hailey he yips at her, his bottom raising from the ground but sitting again, waiting for his next command.
"Don't be a showoff," Hailey tells him as she clips the leash to his collar. He won't have his vest until the handler classes become more situational based. For now, they'll be going over the basic obedience as well as looking at how well the dog and handler work together and respond to each other.
When Hailey starts to swing the kennel door open to walk out of it, she feels herself being pulled forward by Bruno before she's ready.
"Ah - ah, heel," she commands.
Bruno doesn't listen to her, continuing to pull forward on the lead, seeming to want to get out of the building as fast as he can.
"Bruno, heel," Hailey repeats.
The shepherd turns his head, looks up at Hailey, and then walks back to her, lining himself up with her heel and stepping in time with her.
"That's a good boy." She tells him, not giving him a pat.
She looks over her shoulders as they pass by the other kennels, the dogs barking and jumping as they walk through. She can't help but wonder if they feel like these cages are keeping them from feeling freedom.
To subdue some of the anxious energy and get a small feel for Bruno as a companion without the distraction of the other dogs, Hailey decides to take Bruno to the parking lot, where the patrol cars and the other police owned vehicles are kept. She'll do a few laps with him, practice walking together a bit before heading over to the class.
Bruno's taking in everything he sees, wanting to go move more towards the parked cars.
"No, not yet." She tells him. "This way," she motions with her head and begins to take a step
"Hailey,"
She turns around when she hears a familiar voice calling her name. Bruno stays right by her side and moves along with her until he bumps into her leg.
Jay Halstead, a detective in the 21st's Intelligence Unit, walks down the stairs and smiles at her. Hailey met Jay last year when her unit helped them out with a missing person's case. It was also the first time Jay met Xena.
"And who is this handsome boy?" Jay asks, looking down at Bruno. He knows not to bend down and give him any affection or attention to her working companion.
Bruno knows not to engage with Jay, or anyone when he's working, either
"His name's Bruno. I guess he's my new partner." Hailey tells him. "We were assigned to each other this morning. Apparently we're compatible."
Jay nods. "That's good, isn't it? I mean, I know how much you love working with the dogs."
Hailey shrugs. "Yeah, but I feel like it's too soon. I don't know. It seems like everyone else thinks two months is too long to be grieving over losing a dog but Xena's so special to me. She's my first K9, first experience at everything in this field." She explains, looking down at Bruno but only thinking about her bond with Xena.
"Everyone grieves differently. Like you said, she was a big part of your life and your first dog. She'd want you to keep going and saving as many people as you can." Jay tells her, his eyes veering off to the back steps where Kevin Atwater, one of the officers in Intelligence, rushes down.
"Boss wants us to go back to that hardware store and see if we can get the owner's wife to talk to us again." Kevin tells him.
"Yeah, we'll take my truck." He says to Kevin before looking back to Hailey." "I'll be seeing you around."
"Maybe. Most of my time will be in the classes."
She almost tells Jay how her captain was being a bit too chipper about some upcoming assignment but knows not to sidetrack the Intelligence Unit when they're working a case.
Time isn't something any of them can waste.
It doesn't matter anyway because Jay's already hurrying off to follow Kevin.
Bruno looks like he'd rather be going with them than to another class.
"Come on then, I guess this is it." Hailey tells Bruno before walking back in the direction of where the training classes and outdoor courses are set up.
Her mind goes back to the first class she had with Xena. She was such a smart dog for her young age of only a year. Hailey had been nervous and it was Xena who pushed her to become more confident and sure of herself. She never thought a dog could do something like that for a human being.
Her connection with Xena was practically instant, which she doesn't feel the same this time with her new four-legged partner.
It doesn't feel like she's starting over with Bruno. It feels like she's being punished and has to relive all the moments, she'd give anything to have again, she had with Xena with him. And if she's reliving this past, won't Bruno's future hold the same fate?
For now she needs to continue to keep brushing her thoughts and emotions aside so she can focus on the current task. If Bruno is ever able to read her like Xena could, then Hailey will be his ultimate distraction.
