I awake suddenly finding myself in Ben's arms again. "How long was I out?"

"About half an hour."

"I'm sorry," I say caressing his forearm.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. You obviously needed the rest. Ciara I'm worried about you, I want you to go see a doctor."

"No, not right now. I want you to be able to go with me, and we can't be seen together right now."

"I want to be able to go with you too, but we don't know how long it's going to take to get this mess cleaned up. I need you to go and get checked out and make sure that everything is okay with you and our baby."

I sit up and turn so that I can look down at Ben. "This is so unfair. We should be able to do all of these things together and instead we have to lie, and hide, and sneak around to just spend time with one another. I hate it!"

"I do too. Please tell me you will go to the doctor. Do it for me if you aren't willing to do it for yourself."

I sigh deeply and nod my head, "Okay, I'll do it for you."

"Good it will help to put my mind at ease."

"I'll go see my Aunt Kayla on Monday. She'll be discrete. I trust her and she won't judge."

"Sounds good. I need you to do one more thing for me."

"What's that?"

"I need you to tell your mom that you're pregnant…"

"Ben…"

"No, listen, I need you to have someone else to lean on when I can't be there for you while we work on clearing me of this fire. I get that your mom probably won't be thrilled that you're pregnant, especially since it's mine, but I know that she loves you and will watch out for you no matter what."

"Fine, I'll tell her, but you're right she's going to be pissed, but maybe once she sees once and for all that you didn't do this, she will finally believe that you have changed."

"Not likely, but a guy can hope."

I kiss his cheek and snuggle back against him, "So when do you want to get these bugs planted at the loft?"

"When are you going to feel up to spending a couple hours with Claire to get her out of the loft?"

"Feel up to…probably never, but we need to get this done, so let's do that on Monday too. I don't have class or work on Monday, and I know Claire has an early shift at the café. I'll go see Aunt Kayla right away in the morning, then I'll go tell my mom the news. I'll pour on Claire when I get back from talking to my mom and beg her to take me out and distract me from thinking about how 'Ben tried to set me on fire and kill me'. I'll have her out of the loft by noon. I'll text you when we leave or if things are not going as we plan."

"I like it. I think what I'll do is put three bugs in the loft. I'll put two in the kitchen and living room space. The listening radius on one of these devices is supposed to be a 20 foot radius. One should be enough for that room, but I don't want to take any chances. I'll put the other in her bedroom. It shouldn't take more than 10 minutes to get them placed and test to see if they are working, 15 at the max."

"Thank God I won't have to spend too long with her. She makes my skin crawl right now."

"I know she does. Thank you for believing in me and being willing to occupy her so that we can catch her."

"Claire and Eve aren't just trying to ruin your life; they're fucking with mine too, and I refuse to let them get away with it." I feel the chuckle he tries to hold in vibrate through his body.

"I love it when you get all feisty."

"Well, I'm not going to let them get in the way of our happiness. We both have been through a lot in our lives and we deserve to be happy."

We spend the rest of the day just snuggling in bed and talking about nothing in particular. He makes me more broth and brings me more crackers for lunch and then for supper. Thankfully I keep everything down.

I think he's savoring the time that we are spending holding each other just as much as I am. We have tonight and then I need to head back to the loft tomorrow.

"What are you going to use as an excuse for why you weren't at the loft the last two nights."

"I texted my friend, Lydia, she's in my study group and is willing to cover for me. I'm going to say that we were working on a major project and that I spent the last couple of nights there. She is going to play along with the story if I'm questioned by anyone," I inform him as I attempt to stifle a yawn.

"You need to go to sleep. We can talk a bit more before you leave tomorrow."

I'm so exhausted at this point I don't have the energy to argue with him. I simply scoot my body along side his and pull his arm around me as I roll onto my side and place his hand on my belly. It never ceases to amaze me how much his touch calms me. I can feel his thumb gently caressing where our baby is getting stronger every day and I sigh with the peace I feel. "Goodnight Ben, I love you."

"I love you too Ci."

I settle more deeply into his arms and quickly doze off to sleep.

The Next Morning

I awake and feel like I have much more energy than I did after my porcelain hugging episode yesterday morning. If I'm not mistaken Ben is watching me right now. I can feel him looking at me and I immediately begin to feel self-conscious about how I must look.

"You're staring at me, aren't you?"

His initial response is to wrap his arms around me tighter, he kisses me where my neck and shoulder meet and I can feel the smile he has on his lips as he lingers there, "How could you possibly know that?"

"I could feel your eyes on me, and I wish you wouldn't stare at me right now. I'm sure I look like a hot mess right now."

"Oh, you're hot alright, and beautiful, and glowing, and sexy, but you're not a mess. And even if you were a mess, you're my mess and I wouldn't have you any other way."

I sigh because his words make me feel better and I know that he means them even though I might not believe them myself. I turn around in his arms to face him and kiss his cheek, "Thank you. I needed to hear that, because I really don't feel like that right now."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Beside feeling like a hot mess, rested and a bit hungry, but I think I'm going to stick with broth and crackers right now. I don't want to test anything right now."

"Well then let me get you breakfast."

"I'll come with you."

"You'll do no such thing. You're staying off of your feet. You need to save your energy for when you have to leave today."

"I don't want to leave."

"And I don't want you to either, but…"

"I know, I need to go back to the loft. We can't be seen together right now, I know."

"I know you know. That is why you are going to spend the afternoon out with Claire and I'm going to bug the loft. We are doing this so we can have our lives back and so that we…" he cups my abdomen, "you, me and our baby can be a family."

He kisses my cheek and then heads down to the kitchen.

While he's busy making me breakfast I text my friend Lydia again to confirm that she is going to back me up. The story being that I headed to her place after work on Friday. We worked on our Bio Ethics project for a bit and then I spent the night there and we worked on it again the next day. It was so late when we finished that I spent the night again, and I left around noon to head back to the loft.

By the time I finish texting with Lydia, Ben is back with my broth and crackers. I'm hungrier than I thought I was and manage to polish everything off in a matter of a few minutes.

"Hungry much?" Ben shakes his head and laughs at me.

"Shut up! It's tough work growing a tiny human inside of you!"

"I'm only teasing. I'm going to take this as a good sign that you were hungry and able to keep everything down."

"Maybe I'll be adventurous and have some dry toast later."

"That's my girl, living life on the edge." He places a soft kiss on my lips and takes the empty tray of dishes, "I'll run these downstairs. Why don't you take a shower."

I do as he suggests, and the shower makes me feel even better than the good nights sleep. I towel myself off, quickly dress and then attempt to tame the massive mane that is my hair. I see Ben watching me in the mirror for a few moments and then he walks into the bathroom with me and wraps his arms around me. I take my free hand to cover one of his.

"I'm going to miss you. I want you to text me as soon as you can to let me know that you got home okay."

"I will. You know I will."

I begin brushing my hair again and he releases me from his embrace. I instantly begin to feel empty inside because I don't want to leave him, but I know I need to be strong. When I enter the bedroom again, he has already put everything I brought with me back into my purse. I think he sensed how difficult it was going to be for me to not just pack up my things but leave him…for the time being. I must remind myself that this is only until we clear him then we can be together.

"Are you ready to head out then?"

"Reluctant is more like it. You know I want to stay with you, but I know I need to get back to play my part."

He picks up my purse and walks towards the door, "Come on," he says motioning with his head to follow him, "I'll walk you to the entrance for the tunnels."

He takes my hand and we walk down the stairs in silence. I'm doing my best to be brave and hold my tears in as best I can. We walk over to the bookcase and I stand with my back a few inches from the wall.

"You won't need any codes to open the doors on your way back through the tunnels. The only door that you need to worry about is the last one. With that door you will need to look at the three cameras that are above the door to make sure the coast is clear, and you can enter the park. I'll be watching the entire time to make sure you make it through okay."

I bite my bottom lip to keep the tears at bay. Ben grabs my face and pushes me into the wall. He wipes the tears that have fallen from my eyes and then crushes his lips against my own. I devour his mouth like this will be the last time that I ever see him because this is what saying goodbye feels like right now. I don't know when I will be able to see him next and it is killing me. He grinds his hips against my own and I can feel him flare to life against me. I pull my arms more tightly around him pulling his hips more firmly against my own. Attempting to scratch the itch to have him again that I know won't be relieved until we can see each other again.

He releases my lips and whispers, "I love you. I love you so much Ciara. Before you know it, this will all be over and we will get to have the life we are dreaming about."

I take a deep breath and nod my head. I know he's right. He has to be right, because if things don't work out that would just be cruel. "I love you too Ben."

He slides the bookcase to reveal the door and opens it. I step inside the door frame. I turn to face him again and tightly hold him against me one last time. When I feel like I've gained enough strength from him I loosen my embrace and place one last kiss on his lips before I step back. My eyes begin to glisten with tears again, but I breathe through them.

"You can do this Ci. I love you."

"I love you too, and I know in my heart we are going to be back in each other's arms in no time. I'll let you know how things go tomorrow when I meet with Kayla and talk to my mom."

He sighs and gives me a half-smile. I know he would give anything to be able to go to the doctor with me and as tough as it might be, tell my mom our news too. I know my mom wouldn't be easy on him, but Ben is not the kind of man to shy away from shouldering his part in making our baby.

I take another deep breath and give him a half-smile right back before I grab the handle to the door and close it behind me.