I don't want to leave Ciara. It is so good to have her in my arms, but I also don't want to fall behind on monitoring the devices set up at the loft. I slowly extricate my arms from being wrapped around her and kiss her temple before I quietly leave the bed. I head down to the security office to quickly look through the footage I missed while spending quality time with Ciara.
I feel a cocky grin spreading across my face. I know what a lucky bastard I am right now, but I know that everything that Ciara and I have now and want in the future could be taken away in the blink of an eye. I need Claire's confession or even better; her confession and proof that Eve was aiding her in covering up her crimes.
I listen to the footage. The good news is I'm able to make quick work of the time I missed because there were only two vocal files detected while I was away, the bad news, neither of the files is of any help. The first was of Tripp and Claire discussing work as well as Claire trying to get back into Tripp's good graces after betraying him and Haley to Eve and Jack. She's desperate I can hear it in her voice, and I feel a bit sorry for her because I've been there. I've been desperate to hang on to something that I shouldn't have and something that wasn't mine to try and hang on to. The second file was of Claire working on some vocals for a song she is writing, her music is not my cup of tea, to say the least.
I grab my earpiece so that I can listen live again, and head back up to Ciara. She's sleeping soundly, which I'm happy for. I know that her Aunt Kayla said that everything looks good, but I'm worried that if Ciara has to continue to be put under this amount of stress it's going to catch up with her. I know she needs her rest even more now because she's carrying twins. Joy washes over me at the thought that we are having two babies. I crawl back into bed and then kiss her shoulder before lying down next to her. She rolls back into my arms, almost as if even though she is asleep she sensed the return of my presence and I eagerly take her back into them.
"Ben," she whispers.
I guess she was awake after all, "Yeah, Ci."
"Where did you go?"
"I thought you were asleep."
"I was and that didn't answer my question."
"I went to check the feed."
"Did we get anything yet?"
"Sorry, no. Go back to sleep honey, you need your rest."
She lays her head back down on my chest and within a few minutes her breathing has evened out and she is resting peacefully again. I want to do right by Ciara and the babies. I started saving for a ring with the first paycheck I got from Stefan and every check after. I've been in love with her since the day I rescued her off the side of the road and known from the day of our first kiss that she was the one for me. I don't have enough for what I've been eyeing up for her. She deserves the best of everything because that is what she is to me; the best and my everything.
I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now on how I could make this happen sooner, and then it occurs to me…Jordan. When I had my mental break, she ended up cleaning up the mess I left behind. She told me how Abigail had given back the engagement ring that I had given to her; my mother's ring. I don't want to give Ciara the same ring that I had given Abigail. I shouldn't have even given that ring to Abigail. That ring was a symbol of the abuse and mistreatment that my mom suffered at my father's hand.
I've made up my mind. I've heard that Jordan is making progress with her own metal break. I have not asked to see her, just for her progress so far. I'm going to see Jordan and ask her where the ring is and then I'm going to sell it so that I can put it toward the ring that Ciara deserves. I think my mom would be happy that I am turning her ring, a symbol of something awful, into a symbol of my love and devotion to Ciara. I'm certain this would make my mom happy. I know that my mom would have loved Ciara. She had such a kind and giving heart.
I continue to listen to the feed. Claire has gone to bed and is sleeping so I listen to the feed a bit longer in the hopes that maybe her guilty conscience will reveal itself in her sleep. It doesn't. I make note of the time and remove the earpiece. I slowly run my fingers through Ciara's hair. This action has a soothing effect on me, and I give in to sleep myself.
The Next Morning
When I wake the next morning, I find that I am alone in bed. I can see Ciara is already getting ready in the bathroom. The door is open, and she is putting on her makeup. She has already put her hair up in some sort of twist thing.
I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her, "You know you don't need that right? You're stunning without it," and I kiss her neck.
She cranes her neck to give me better access while cradling my head and I enthusiastically continue to lavish kisses on what is one of my favorite places to kiss her. "Thank you for saying that."
My lips hover above her skin, "You don't have to thank for me telling the truth," I state and gently nip the spot where her neck and her shoulder meet.
She laughs, and I rest my head on her shoulder. "I wish you didn't have to go."
"I don't want to go either, but I have class today and then I need to meet with Lydia to actually work with her on a project we have."
"Don't over-do it okay. I'm worried that all of this is going to stress you out. I don't want anything to happen to you or our babies. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."
"Ben, don't worry. Women have been working, going to school, and having busy lives for centuries. I'm not the first one to ever get pregnant you know."
"I know but…"
"Ben, I'll be fine. I have an early class and then I will head back to the loft I'll work on my reading for class for an hour or so and then I'll grab some lunch and probably a nap, before I head to Lydia's."
"Okay, just…"
"Don't over-do it. I know, and I love that you worry over me, but I'll be okay."
I sigh, "Okay. Do you want me to make you anything for breakfast?"
Her eyes light up at the mention of food, "Do you have wheat bread here?"
"I do."
"How about bananas?"
"Yup."
"Ginger tea?"
"The first thing I got for you. Are you testing me?" I smile at her in the mirror.
"No, but I am impressed. Could you make me two pieces of toast with some peanut butter, and then slice some bananas on top of the peanut butter, and then a cup of ginger tea?"
"Yes, ma'am, a peanut butter and banana sandwich on toasted wheat bread and a cup of ginger tea. I think I can manage that."
"Thank you, Benny Boo!"
I growl at her but can't help the small grin that creeps onto my face.
"I know you like it when I call you that, I don't know why you bother saying otherwise," she giggles.
I shake my head, "Whatever. Do you want me to bring it up here or do you want to eat downstairs?"
"I'll come downstairs. I'm almost ready."
"Okay, I'll see you down in the kitchen. Do you remember how to get there?"
"I do. Now go get me my breakfast," she says and blows me a kiss.
I head on down to the kitchen to get breakfast for my girl. I get the toast going and start cutting up enough banana to make two sandwiches. I figure I'll have one myself. I start to steep some ginger tea for her and brew some coffee for myself. By the time I have her sandwich ready she is just sitting down on one of the stools at the counter.
"Ohmygod, that coffee smells SO good."
"Do you want a cup?" I ask as I place her ginger tea and sandwich in front of her.
"I can't," she pouts.
"Can't? Why?"
"Caffeine. It's not good for the babies."
"Oh, right. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she smiles and places a strand of hair that has escaped behind her ear.
"Do you want me to get something else to drink? I can give it up while you have to."
"You're sweet for offering, but you don't have to do that," she says around bites.
"Okay, I'll drink this pot up and then I'll give it up. What else can't you have?" I take my own plate and mug and sit down next to her.
"Well alcohol obviously, sushi, which I don't like anyway, some types of fish because they might be high in mercury, foods with raw eggs. I think that's about it."
"Good to know," I smile and sip some of my coffee.
"So, what do you have to do today?"
"I have to interview men for the open position we have this afternoon," and I take a bite of my sandwich.
"That sounds important. I'm excited for you."
"It kinda is. Stefan is trusting me to do this on my own," I take a deep breath, "I think I might also go and see Jordan today."
"Oh, yeah."
"Yeah, I've been keeping tabs on her progress and the doctors have given me the green light to actually see her."
She takes my hand in hers and gives it a squeeze, "Good. I know that you've missed having her in your life."
I squeeze her hand back, "I have missed her. I need to find out what happened. What made her snap? Why did she kill our mom? What did my dad do to her? I have my suspicions but, I don't know for sure."
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to say until I know for sure."
"Well, I have to get going anyway. Thank you for breakfast," she starts gathering up her belongings, "I love you," she kisses me on the cheek.
I grab her wrist, "I love you too," and I swipe my lips over hers once and then rest my forehead against her own. "Ci don't ov…"
"Don't over-do it. I won't, I promise," and she kisses me back once more before she leaves.
I miss her already. I think even more so since I don't know when I will be able to see her next. I clean up our dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I head back upstairs to makes sure I have everything cleaned out of the bedroom we were using and then head over to the gatehouse to shower and dress for the day. By the time I finish it is 8 am. I make a call to Bayview to make sure that today will be a good day to visit. The doctor is on board. It will take me an hour to get to Bayview which will be perfect since they begin visiting hours at 9.
I get in the car and hop on to the interstate to get to Bayview. I can feel my nerves increasing as I make my way there. I have so many questions that I want to ask Jordan and I want this visit to go well so that we both can heal from the mess that is our lives. The drive goes faster than I was expecting and before I know it, I am parking the car and making my way into the building. I open the door and take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself.
I walk up to the desk where one of the staff members is working on paperwork, I cough, and he looks up. "Hi, my name is Ben Weston, I'm here to see my sister Jordan Ridgeway."
He checks a book, "We've been expecting you. Please sign this log. You will need to empty your pockets of any sharp objects including keys and pens and no electronic devices or charging cables."
I empty my pockets and they place my items in a small bin. They bring them out to the hallway, where a wall full of lockers awaits. "Place your bin in one of the empty lockers, use the key to lock it, and remove the key. You can then either place the key in your pocket or use the band to wear it around your wrist." I have pockets so I place the key there. "Follow me."
The hospital worker escorts me to a door, enters a code and the door opens. "Go to the end of the hallway and then turn left. At the end of that hallway there will be a buzzer. Press the buzzer and wait for instructions."
"Thank you." I hear the door close behind me, and I make my way down the hallway. I press the buzzer as instructed and a voice comes over the intercom. "Please come to the window that is on your right side as you walk through the door." I step up to the window, and the woman who I assume is a nurse asks, "How may I help you."
"I'm Ben Weston. I'm here to see my sister Jordan Ridgeway."
"Sure, I'll send someone to get her. You can have a seat at the table over there," she gestures to her right where there are a table and chairs in the corner of the room.
I walk over to the table and take a seat. I rest my hands on the table and stare down at them. This is it. I'm going to see my sister and finally get some answers to the questions that have been rolling around in my head for the last several months. I take a deep breath and expel it in the hopes of calming myself. I don't want Jordan to sense how nervous I am and then agitate her. I'm so focused on calming myself I don't hear the footsteps approaching.
"Ben, what are you doing here?"
