May 19, 1917
"Are you sure that no one will see us?" Dmitri said, glancing back at the bedroom door.
"Out of sight, out of mind, Dima," Anastasia replied, smiling back at her love.
"What if they hear us?" Dmitri asked with an urgent tone, almost desperately.
"Well, the louder you talk… the more they might eavesdrop on us," Anastasia said, then smirking.
As much as Dmitri knew that Anastasia, with her wittiness, was right, he felt uncomfortable with remaining silent. He enjoyed talking with his Nastya. Given what they were about to do, they could still make noises. And of all the locations they had chosen for a secret conversation, it had to be the bedroom where the Little Pair resided, which was located next to the bedroom for the Big Pair. It was very possible that Olga, Tatiana, or some of the palace staff would notice them.
Yet Maria had promised to keep their romance a secret, and Olga was at her final meeting for deciding the anti-trust legislation. The palace servants, handmaids, and other staff were also farther away, as Anastasia had planned the secret meeting to take place when the palace staff had long since finished cleaning the royal bedrooms.
Their secret would be safe for now.
"How is this a meeting if we do not talk?" Dmitri asked, scrunching his eyebrows together from his confusion.
"I… I have to tell you something, Dima…"
"What is it? Is it something bad-"
"No, no! It is something I need some… advice with."
"What kind?"
Anastasia blushed before she spoke. "I have had some dreams lately about us. I think it has to do with… with..."
"Just say it, it's not like the Governess is eavesdropping."
The youngest Russian grand duchess, willful as she was, could not find the courage within herself to talk of the mystery of her sensational dreams. She looked back at the windowed pink wall of her shared bedroom, unable to even look her love in the eye. She doubted that Dmitri would understand. She felt confused, unable to understand how her dreams would leave her waking up at night, feeling hot, sweating and feeling flustered.
Taking a deep breath, Anastasia confessed.
"I think that my dreams have to do with something that stirs a feeling, this need within me. I cannot describe it."
Dmitri sat closer to Anastasia, and he could not help smiling. He finally understood what she had meant, despite struggling to place her experience into words.
"Nastya… would you believe me if I said that I felt something similar to that? Every time I see you smile and laugh… Well, not at me!"
Anastasia pouted. "So you do not like my pranks?"
"No, but I know what you mean."
"At least we understand each other, I just want to know what is going on with myself."
"I love you, and you love me. That is completely certain."
Anastasia nodded.
"But there is also a physical part of love within us, as I heard from some fellow servants. Your parents would have never told you or any of your sisters until your marriage day with some prince," Dmitri whispered.
"You are my prince, Dima."
"And you my grand duchess."
"Does it have to do with-"
"Yes."
A few moments passed. Everything in the bedroom was silent until Dmitri cleared his throat.
"That was terribly awkward," Anastasia said, giggling nervously.
"I do not want to sound improper, but men and women have, um, private regions of their bodies. And when they make a child, they touch them…" Dmitri said, his voice trailing off, becoming more quiet.
"Oh… if we feel this… shared desire, can we relieve that without making children? I would hate to disappoint Papa and Mama, especially Olya and Tatya."
"I think we can."
"I just want to know this part of me. Can you… can you teach me how?" Anastasia whispered, her fair cheeks now reddening with awkward embarrassment.
Even Dmitri fared no better, with his cheeks pinkish from a raging blush. As embarrassed as he was, a small part of him against his rationale held a secret joy at hearing of the feelings that his Nastya had.
"I would like to," Dmitri said, as a grin slowly widened across his face.
Anastasia, with one last look at a childhood photograph of herself and Maria, shyly began to undo her dress. She giggled as she stood in front of Dmitri, clad only in her undergarments. Dmitri hesitated, but the first move had already begun. There was no going back. And so, he began to loosen his now uncomfortable pants…
(One Hour Later)
Leaving the grand piano room, Tatiana wondered where Anastasia and Maria had gone. She also had not seen Dmitri Ivanov for just over half of the day. Where had all three of them gone?
She went to the library room, and did not find Maria. She then searched the other popular rooms that she and her sisters had visited, including the Dining Halls. Still nothing. This only left one possibility: the bedroom of the Little Pair. She had not visited that particular room very often in the past year, but it would not hurt to check. The absence of Anastasia concerned her a great deal. As she made her way to the West Wing, she made a silent prayer, hoping that nothing had happened.
In the study room near their bedrooms, she found Maria, who was attempting to paint a picture of some handsome officer. Tatiana raised an eyebrow.
"Mashka?"
Maria flinched, and turned around quickly to see Tatiana, who stood with a gentle smile on her face and hands on her hips.
"Oh, Tatya! I did not notice you!"
"I do not mean to disturb you, but do you know where Nastya and Dmitri went?"
Maria looked at Tatiana with her big blue eyes, pupils dilated, and shrugged. Tatiana, however, was not convinced. Her suspicions still lacked an exact idea of what her baby sister was doing, but she knew that Maria was concealing a certain secret. What it was, she did not know.
Tatiana raised an eyebrow. "Mashka… please do not lie to me. I'm your sister."
Maria gulped, and a chill went down her spine. She felt scared for her younger sister, and torn between keeping the secret or telling the truth. Now the plan that she had concocted with Anastasia was in jeopardy!
After a moment of silence, Maria shrugged again. "I do not know, Tatya, to be honest with you."
"Alright… Then I will have to check on Nastya myself. I hope she is well."
"I hope so," Maria spoke, turning back to her painting with her shaky hands…
As Tatiana went out of earshot, Maria sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry, Nastya."
Tatiana quickened her footsteps to the Little Pair's room. She tried the doorknob, yet it refused to turn. Her sister had locked the door. Placing an ear to the door, she listened with as much attention as possible, and narrowed her eyes as she heard the ruffling of bedsheets and incoherent whispers. Something seemed suspicious of the whereabouts and the action of her youngest sister…
"Nastya, are you well?" Tatiana asked.
"I- I am feeling good, Tatya!" Tatiana heard, muffled by the door.
"Where is Dmitri? Have you seen him?"
"I don't know, he might be in his quarters!"
"Who were you whispering to?"
"Just… just had to practice for a play!"
"Nastya, just open the door!" Tatiana said, rattling the doorknob even harder.
Inside the room, Dmitri hastily stuffed the used handkerchiefs into an empty black vase, hoping that Tatiana would not investigate any further. He looked at Anastasia, who pointed to the changing cover. Wasting no time, the kitchen servant hid behind the cover, hoping that he would not be seen. As the door opened, he breathed as quiet as he could and stood as still as he could.
"Nastya, where were you? What were you doing? Olga and I felt worried!"
"In this room, after I was with Maria."
"But Maria said she did not know where you were."
"That was after I left her."
"But what were you doing in the past three hours?"
"Practicing for a play-"
"Do not lie to me, Nastya, it hurts my heart. We are sisters, not friends or strangers."
Anastasia frowned, looking down at her shoes. She did not know if her feelings for Dmitri could be seen as proper or improper. Her parents had never discussed the topic with her. How could she have known?
"Please, Nastya. Just be honest with me."
Tatiana watched her youngest sister step over to a familiar photograph: the photo she had on the Standart with her friend Dmitri. She then stepped closer. She knew that Anastasia and Dmitri were friends, but what if their relationship had blossomed into something more? The way that her sister looked at the black and white photograph…
"Are you in love?"
"I- I am."
"Oh… does he feel the same?"
"He does, and we professed our love a few months ago."
Tatiana frowned, looking at Anastasia with her gray eyes, which looked weary for the worse. "Why did you not tell us?"
"I thought you and Olga would separate us."
"For impropriety? I do not believe so, but it still hurts me to see you keeping secrets from us. Do you truly place your trust in us?"
"I don't know! Mama and Papa never told me about the whims of love, even intimacy!"
Tatiana felt as if the temperature in the room had dropped by a few degrees. A chill went down her spine, as the realization finally dawned on her, rearing its ugly head. Her sister had done more than lie to her and Olga. Her sweet, witty, and lively sister had physical intimacy before marriage! Like Olga, she knew the gravity of that deed from countless scripture readings. She would never see Anastasia the same way ever again.
"So you lied…"
"I- I am so sorry-"
"And had carnal relations."
"No, it did not go as far as you think!" Anastasia cried, stepping backward until she touched the wall.
"Do you realize what you have done? You have sinned against God! This will not only stain your soul, but what will everyone think? What would Mama and Papa think?"
Anastasia was petrified! She thought of the stakes, and the consequences. Dmitri would be released from his duties, and it was possible she would be expelled from Russia, her motherland! And she would be separated from Dmitri! Tears formed in her blue eyes.
"No… no…" she whimpered, shaking her head.
"I cannot lie to Olya, Nastya. It would break her heart like mine… But I can persuade her to be more lenient."
"W- will I be chastised?"
"What? No!"
"All we can do is hope that Olya will not lose her temper or condemn you. She takes matters of the faith quite seriously, so I cannot guarantee that. Still, I will do whatever I can to help you."
Anastasia nodded, sniffling as Tatiana hugged her. Dmitri stepped out, holding his breath as Tatiana looked his way. But by then, her anger had faded, replaced by sympathy.
"Dima… I will try to help you as well."
"I only wanted to help her understand a new side of herself."
"I know. Would it comfort you if I told you that I dreamed about the officers on the Standart?"
Dmitri widened his eyes. "What?"
"I did."
"But…. we could deserve worse…"
"You are like the brother I never had, Dima. Why would we condemn you? It would not be from good faith."
"So you will help us?"
"Of course."
A.N: I really thought of how this chapter would proceed for over a week, and this is what I decided on. It's not perfect, but I hope that it fits well with other works in my alternate history. This is mainly to explain why Anastasia and Dmitri are outside Russia in the sequel. Premarital sex of any kind is a serious sin in Christianity, and I believe that the Romanovs with their Victorian upbringing would NOT be tolerant of that. At the same time, Tatiana would never be ruthless enough to condemn her youngest sister. I think OTMA is too closely-knit for that case to happen.
