CHAPTER 4: Make Way For Better Things
It was raining outside -but it was that kind of irritating, sort of incomplete rain. Tiny malevolent drops of water were falling lazily from the sky, covering the entire city in a mist that seemed to be able to get through anything except concrete walls. One could either dress too much an be incredibly sweaty, or not enough and catch a cold.
Rin found a room at the top floor of the venue where their show was taking place that evening. The floor was empty except for a bunch of chairs by one of the walls. She didn't know if this was a conference room or just a place where things that have no use get thrown into and forgotten.
Not that she cared at that moment. She was lying on her back in the middle of the room, staring at the dark ceiling above her and listening to the rain outside. She wore a black hoodie from the Miku merch, the first piece of clothing she could find that would keep her warm. Plus the hoodie was really snuggly on touch; Rin was wondering how cozy would it feel to cuddle with someone else wearing it.
Someone like Ichiro, preferably. But he was off the table now.
Obviously everyone left something or someone behind when the Vocaloids began to consume too much of their time. Ichiro was Rin's... What even was he? She felt 'boyfriend' wouldn't be too accurate. She liked him, and he liked her. They used to be a lethal duo, often wandering freely through the school when they were thirteen, making sarcastic remarks about anyone they met, teaming up any time there was any kind of group activity with their friends, and they got along really well -maybe a little too well for two friends.
And he was her first kiss, too. It wasn't anything special at that moment, Ichiro basically dared her to give him a smooch one lazy afternoon. But there was a certain level of chemistry between them, and who knew what could have happened next if only the twins wouldn't leave soon afterwards.
Rin never realised just how much she's going to miss him until they were hundreds of miles apart. They tried to stay in touch at first, but the longer they hadn't seen each other, the harder it was to keep their relationship alive, whatever its true nature was. Eventually, they stopped trying at all.
And then, all of a sudden, Ichiro would post crazy love confessions and pictures with some stupid, ugly human being with long black hair and stubby legs.
Okay, that wasn't an entirely honest depiction that Rin gave her, but she was obviously upset about it. This stranger girl was stealing her Ichiro; and knowing that all that the two of them went through together in the past suddenly didn't mean anything...
Oh my gosh, this is what a broken heart feels like, isn't it? She asked herself and with her typical dark sense of humor smiled faintly. Would you look at yourself, Rin. You're a big girl now.
She stood up. Rin wanted to move; no matter where to, how long, how far, she needed to walk. She almost considered going jogging -something she definitely did very often to stay in shape, maybe even once every month -but the weather wasn't right (it never was).
She briefly stopped by her backpack in the living room and picked up her phone and her wallet. She was as quick and as quiet as she could; trying to disappear mere hours before the show was irresponsible and everyone she'd meet would try to talk her out of it, which was the last thing she wanted to go through.
As she was sneaking down the corridor looking for the emergency exit, Rin only saw Kaito leaning towards a wall and smiling his ass off while he was talking to Miku. The twin smirked and avoided their attention by taking a turn left -coincidentally to a door leading outside.
There, as soon as the door closed behind her, she took a deep breath, lifted her face and let the raindrops softly kiss her skin. Rin didn't realise it before, but this was what she needed for quite some time. There was just her, alone, without all the work, fame, and bizzare lifestyle. The kind of Rin that has been more or less asleep inside of her for the last year.
Was she really so different back then? -the twin asked herself while she walked through a back alley; their buses and a few trucks stood in the distance with a few people running around the vehicles. Rin cautiously pulled the hood over her head in case somebody noticed her.
There was an open gate ahead, but she learned that it's been guarded by two very big guys -lucky for her, they were only looking outside. She probably could just tell them that she was leaving and they would let her pass -or, they could send her right back. Rin looked around and noticed a pile of boxes and other undisclosed garbage lying next to the wall to her right. Having just awakened her mischievous side, she decided to climb up over the wall and leave the area unnoticed.
Yes, this was exactly what she and Ichiro would have done in a situation like this. Rin remembered the time when their school was being re-painted from an ugly red to even uglier yellow during the holiday; they had a scaffolding built up all the way to the roof and the workers were slowly tearing down the old facade. One evening, the two of them took the opportunity to climb up to the roof which was impossible to reach from the inside, unless they acquired a key from the principal or the janitor, both of whom were grumpy old men who would not give away their keys for any student under any circumstance.
That didn't matter, though, because Ichiro and Rin managed to get there without them. And there they were walking, running, jumping, or cartwheeling around until they simply sat on the edge, their legs dangling in the air, and watched the streets around them fall into the night. There was a tiny cabin on the roof which was covering the staircase down into the depths of the school; before they left, Ichiro pulled a black marker from his pocket and drew their initials in a heart on the cabin's wall.
"That's lame," Rin told him, but she was quite happy at that moment.
"Maybe," he shrugged. "But at least everyone will know now that you and me, we own this school."
Let's see if you can remember that when you climb there with that stupid fucking bitch of yours, the present Rin thought when she walked aimlessly through the streets, hands in her pockets, the black hood over her head, and little Miku printed on the back of her hoodie. She wondered if she could write him and ask what the hell happened; but that would probably be pointless. Whether she liked it or not, Ichiro was in the past for her. She moved on to become a superstar and he... apparently moved on to find another girl to fool around with.
The twin found herself on a bigger street with lots of traffic happening. She walked past the standing cars looking in their windows, and showed an evil grin if anyone inside noticed her. The people probably weren't too happy that this rude short girl was moving faster on foot than they were in their cars.
All of a sudden, a head on one of the backseats widened its eyes and beckoned her to come closer. Rin rose her eyebrows and approached the car, a small blue model unknown to her.
The window slowly opened and a barrage of excited voices could be heard.
"Oh my goood! It's really you, isn't it?" an irritating girl's voice asked her. Rin managed to remember her face when she got a better look on it: this was without a doubt Haruka, one of her old classmates. From what she recalled, she was always kind of dumb and overcompensated by flirting ferociously with every male that crossed her way. Rin never liked her.
"Haruka!" she screamed with joy and hugged the upper part of her torso which was now leaning from the window. "It's been a while, how are you?"
"Great! We're just going to your show!" the passenger replied and motioned to the front seats where other two girls, though a few years older than herself, were looking at the twin, one with a hyped expression, the other one -the driver -with a soft smile and tired eyes. "Remember my sister? And that's her friend, Sakura."
"Oh yeah!" said Rin who had no idea that Haruka had a sister. "Hi, I'm Rin!" she yelled into the car.
Everyone inside laughed. "Like you need to introduce yourself," Sakura, a chubby female with colored green hair and a silver piercing in her lip, told her. "We're probably your biggest fans!"
"Thank you, I appreciate that!"
"Yeah, we would be looking forward to seeing you tonight if this mother-efing traffic moved soon!" Haruka's sister cursed and clenched the steering wheel tight. Rin liked her, she was the only one inside the car who wasn't losing her mind just because she saw someone famous.
"Trust me, you should park the car as soon as you can and walk the rest of the way," she advised her. "It's not far, maybe less than fifteen minutes."
"We'll see. What are you doing out here, anyway?"
"You know," Rin scratched her elbow; "just taking a walk before the madness begins." There was no way she was telling the entire truth.
"Really?" said Haruka. "I would never leave if I were you! You must have everything you could ever want, why would you leave that behind?"
The twin smiled sadly. "That's not true, really."
"What do you mean?"
She coughed and glanced over to the side. "Hey, the cars are moving. I should get going."
"Aw. Hey, how about we meet up after the show?" Haruka suggested.
"Yeah, and bring Miku with you! That'd be awesome!" Sakura added.
Rin grinned. "I'll see what I can do. No promises."
"Thanks! See you!" they shouted as their car started moving forward.
"Yeah, fuck you too," she muttered when the trio was gone.
They had no idea. Just like the rest of them. People thought that she and all her friends had perfect lives, were happy all the time and probably rolling in money. Furthermore, the way that the girls spoke to her made it seem like they saw the Vocaloids as little more than slaves whose sole purpose in life was to entertain others, the souls that weren't so fortunate to be famous for anything.
Ironically, Rin used to be just the same before she joined the show. She had thought everything was going to be just as simple -traveling across the globe, singing for her fans and enjoying the spotlight. The complexity of the real experience was surprising, to say the least. First of all, none of them stopped being normal people who thought for themselves. She, in fact, was thinking for herself the most of them. She feared losing her identity now that after some time with the Vocaloids, it was obvious that it was exactly what could happen.
And if that wasn't enough, there were hours and hours of practising and debating over the course of the show itself; so much time seemingly wasted just for the twenty minutes on the stage, in Rin's case. She was preparing herself for a certain lifestyle, and when it became apparent that her fantasies do not match the reality for most part, she had a little trouble adapting. According to her, the others seemed to get used to it much easier -including her twin brother. And the fact that she was the only one undergoing a certain identity crisis felt... unfair.
The girl, still frowning, took her phone from her pocket to check the time. Her heart twitched: she had the sound turned off, and there were 4 missed calls -three from Miku, the other one from Luka.
Rin immediately thought that if she was in trouble, Miku is less likely to scold her, so she chose to dial her number. After a few seconds of beeping, her friend picked up the phone.
"Finally!" she called out, half with relief, half with anger. "Where the hell are you?"
"Heyyy," the twin answered. "I'm kinda, uh, outside."
"We figured, since you were literally nowhere to be found in here. But where exactly are you?"
"For fuck's sake, I don't know! Somewhere in the city. Nearby. And I'm fine," Rin retorted.
"You are definitely not fine, Rin, half the crew is going to want you dead if you don't show up soon."
"Fine, geez. I'll be back soon, don't worry."
"Good. By the way, you should call Luka too, she went outside to look for you."
"Oh. Can't you call her instead?"
"Nope. Consider it your punishment." Miku snorted. "Listen, I gotta go. Come back asap, ok?"
"Yeah. See you then," she replied and hung up. Then, she looked around; she didn't see Luka anywhere near. Rin sighed and called her phone as she started moving slowly back towards the venue.
"Hello?" the older girl answered in a voice that could freeze the Sun.
"Hi. So, I already talked to Miku, I know you guys are pissed at me, and I'm coming back. Just wanted to let you know," the twin explained quickly.
"Great. Can you find the way back?"
"Um..." Rin paused and tried to remember how did she get to the main street. "I... think so?"
Luka sighed. "Are you anywhere near a big street with weird animal shaped lamp posts?"
"No... wait," she hesitated and looked up. "Uh, yeah, actually. That looks kinda cool and fucked up at the same time."
"Yeah. What buildings do you see around?"
"Uuum... tall office buildings, mostly. There's a comic shop across the street."
"Okay. I think I should be nearby, I'll pick you up soon. Try not to move."
"Thanks," Rin said, but her friend already ended the call.
Five minutes later, Luka found her walking nervously in a circle on the corner of the street.
"Hi," the twin said.
"Hi. First of all," Luka smiled briefly, "I'm glad you're alright. Second, can you tell me what you were thinking, leaving like that and not telling anyone?"
"I know, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. "I just... needed to get away. It's a rather long story."
"Well, perhaps you can explain it to me while we walk back," the pink girl suggested, but in her suggestion was a slight bit of demand.
And so, on their way back, Rin told her everything about Ichiro and her self doubts. Confusingly enough, Luka didn't look too surprised by this; more understanding than anything.
"You don't think I'm crazy?" she asked her when at the end.
"I do," Luka replied with laughter. "But, and I don't mean to sound like your mother, you're only fourteen. This stuff is normal."
"Somehow I doubt that everyone's going through the same things as me."
"Okay, it may be a little bit enhanced because of the life you have with us. But the principle remains the same. You're just now finding out who you really are, or rather who you want to be. And you loved someone and he's been taken away from you-"
"Taken away? More like stabbed me in the fucking back."
"Still. Shit happens." As they were walking side by side, Luka put her arm around the twin's shoulders. "You'll get through this, I swear."
"Thanks. I'll try." Rin was looking at the ground.
Her friend suddenly stopped. "Hey, I have an idea. This might cheer you up." She took her hand and pulled her behind her into one of the back streets.
"W-whoa, where are we going?"
"You'll see. When I was looking for you, I saw something which I immediately thought you would love. It's right there," she added and pointed in front of her. There was a tiny music shop ahead.
"First you rush me back, then you want me to stop here and look at... what exactly, anyway?" the confused girl said with a slight smile.
Luka didn't respond until they arrived to the front window.
"It just really reminds me of you," she said then.
Rin widened her eyes and stepped as close to the glass barrier as she could. There was an acoustic guitar on a stand to the far right; it was painted yellow, with a few black stripes across. The body seemed a tiny inch thinner compared to most other acoustic guitars. It had a single cutaway by the fretboard, and the headstock was shaped in the style of a stratocaster -with all six tuning knobs at one side and a typical curvy shape at the other. There was no company logo on it; instead, a black tattoo-ish mark was drawn at the top.
"Whooooa," she breathed out. "You were right. She's beautiful."
"She?"
"Yeah, all guitars are chicks, don't you know? At least that's what our guitarists say." Suddenly, she chuckled. "You shouldn't have brought me here, now I'll never want to leave."
"Looks like you found yourself a new love interest, huh?" Luka smiled, glad that her friend liked the instrument.
"Indeed! But..." The twin took out her wallet and looked inside; then she frowned. "I can't have it any more than I can have Ichiro right now."
The two girls stood there a little longer, looking at the guitar.
"You know what, screw it," Luka said eventually. "Let's go inside."
"What? Wait, are you...?" Rin asked in honest disbelief.
"Yeah! You deserve someone who'll never leave you and will always be there when you need him! Her. Whatever."
"You don't have to do this."
"I know." She walked right to the front window and picked the guitar up. "Don't you always want us all to be more spontaneous? Well, here we are."
And Rin took the yellow guitar in her perplexed hands.
"I can't let you just buy me this! How would you expect me to feel after that?"
"Don't worry, I won't give you anything for Christmas," Luka smirked and pulled out her wallet. "Just promise me you won't destroy this one, alright?"
