Disclaimer: I do not own Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself. Any resemblance to any other property was done solely for the sake of parody.
What if Deku...
Chapter twelve: Ah ha ha
The audience summoned by the realmcrafter Talespinner69 had just finished watching realm number eleven in the show of various different realms that all featured different alternate versions of Izuku Midoriya. They were gearing up to watch the twelfth realm of the show, which was going to be the last. "Look, I'm just saying that the last Green Bean ought to be kickass," Mirko said, "It wouldn't do if this show didn't go out with a bang."
"Well none of us here have any control over which realms are pulled up," Ryukyu pointed out, "Not even the host himself as he has that remote thing set to randomly pull realms up for the sake of fairness."
"Indeed, Ryukyu," Tale called out from the stage where he stood next to Kotaro, "But that's besides the point. The point here is that we're close to the end here, so things might be a little bit rushed as we're getting near the finish."
Bakugo scoffed as he folded his arms over his chest. "So we're getting close to the end of Deku and his alternate selves showing off. About time."
"Well some of the alternate Izukus were pretty cool," Sero said, "You gotta admit."
Bakugo was about to speak up, but he got cut off by Kotaro who called out, "Alright, everyone! Hold on to your underwear, because the next episode is about to kick off!"
All members of the audience turned front and center to look right at the big theater screen, all of them wondering what kind of Deku had ended up coming up for last. "Come on, kickass Green Bean," Mirko said, "Give us a kickass Green Bean!"
Ryukyu could only shake her head. "Oh Mirko, you."
...
Izuku and Bakugo were standing across from one another in a lightly wooded area out in the middle of nowhere, looking like they had just finished fighting. "I... I have to use it," Bakugo said, "I have to use my secret technique." Bakugo then knelt down to do something.
"What... What the hell are you doing?" Izuku said, "Hello? Wait, are you putting on a mask?"
"Now, I'm unbeatable!" Bakugo cried out.
Izuku looked on in confusion. "What... Wait, no you're not. You're in your base form. With a mask! Of Lego!" The scene then showed Bakugo wearing a mask of the realmcrafter Legomasterlord.
"What... What the hell am I wearing?" Bakugo in the audience said.
Tale could only look up at the big theater screen with a look of dawning horror. "...Oh no..."
Bakugo then held his hand at Izuku, the palm facing the green-haired boy. "...What?" Izuku asked, "Are you supposed to give me a high five or someth-"
"I'M GAY!" Bakugo shouted, causing Izuku to be surrounded by a violently purple energy that erased his person, making him scream for the brief second he knew what was happening before he was no more. "...Or was it Hakai?" Bakugo said to himself after he erased Izuku, "I get those two mixed up."
"Dudes! This me just straight up killed Deku!" Bakugo exclaimed, although a number of other audiences members were uncomfortable with that.
Tale could only shake his head. "...Just wait for it."
Pointing to the big theater screen, Mineta said, "Uhh, Bakugo, the you in this realm just declare that he is gay."
A look of dawning anger appeared on Bakugo's face, but luckily his squad was able to keep him from flipping out.
...
Bakugo and Todoroki were then seen standing on a stone square platform that had large decorative spikes, one standing at each corner. "Alright, so I say we remodel," Bakugo said, "We remove the giant spiky thingies, and add a couch right here." Letting out a gasp of excited realization, Bakugo added, "And a bar!"
"Aww yeah!" Todoroki said, "A bar sounds great!"
"What the fuck are you guys doing?!" Izuku shouted, making Bakugo and Todoroki turn to see Izuku floating in midair, completely alive, as well as looking annoyed.
"Izuku survived somehow!" Tenya in the audience exclaimed.
"Ha! In your face, Bakugo!" Uraraka taunted.
Bakugo, looking mildly alarmed, said, "Oh shit, he's still alive!"
"Are you bastards claiming my arena?" Izuku demanded flatly.
"What? No, no, of course not, no," Todoroki said, "What makes you say that?" Izuku then looked behind Todoroki, who also turned to see a trunk with a label that said 'Shoto's shit'. Izuku gave both Todoroki and Bakugo a dry look. "Okay, yes," Todoroki admitted, "So we were going to move in. You were dead! In case you haven't noticed, this arena's pretty spacious."
"...Wow, IcyHot," Bakugo in the audience said, "You just straight up confessed."
Shrugging, Todoroki replied, "Well the you and me here were caught in the act."
"Okay, fuck you, I'm alive," Izuku said flatly.
"This Izuku is... rather vulgar," Yaoyorozu in the audience remarked, a hint of concern in her tone.
Tale once again only shook his head. "It'll probably get worse."
"But how?" Bakugo asked, "I gave you the hakai!"
"Yeah," Todoroki added, "He gave you a hickey!"
"What?" Bakugo said as he looked to Todoroki, "No, no, that's not what it's called."
"Sorry," Todoroki apologized.
"I can regenerate, assholes," Izuku explained dryly, "So long as one of my cells exists, I will always regenerate!" With a flat expression, Izuku added, "Lucky for me, I busted a fat one right before I died."
(What if Deku was Perfect Cell)
Smacking himself in the forehead, Tale said, "Hoo boy, this one won't be friendly."
"Perfect Cell?" Izuku said in a curious tone.
Gesturing to the big theater screen, Tale said, "This version of Perfect Cell that you're being is from the same realm as the version of Zarbon you had been a few realms ago."
Everyone looked a bit worried about that. "...Well alrighty, then," Hizashi said.
...
Izuku and Todoroki were at the former's arena out in the middle of nowhere, when suddenly All For One came floating on in. "Oh look," Izuku said dryly, not in the least scared or intimidated by the arrival of fhe Symbol of Evil, "It's the daft punk wannabe."
"What am I doing here?" All For One in the audience asked.
"And how come Young Midoriya isn't event phased by All For One's appearance?" Toshinori asked.
"I've heard many things about you, Izuku," All For One said, "Including your lack of manners. My pupil Shigaraki returned to me, mentally scarred."
"You're saying that guy wasn't mentally scarred before?" Todoroki asked, "I mean he literally looked like a crackhead."
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Shigaraki in the audience exclaimed, clearly pissed off. Meanwhile, a lot of the audience members burst out laughing.
"I decided that the proper form of action would be to come recruit you myself," All For One said to Izuku.
Arching a wry eyebrow, Izuku asked, "And if I refuse?"
Clenching a fist to try to look intimidating, All For One replied, "I'll destroy any significant amount of joy you have within your soul."
"I mean, joke's on you," Todoroki said to All For One while pointing to Izuku, "Because he's already dead on the inside."
"Wow, little bro," Dabi in the audience said, "Not very nice."
"This is an alternative me, so he's bound to be different from how I really am," Todoroki pointed out, "And maybe he said that to try to deter All Might's rival."
"Are you going to join the League of Villains or not?" All For One asked.
"Look, I appreciate the offer, but my answer's still no," Izuku replied, "Besides, what do you even need me for anyway?"
"I need your Instant Transmission ability to pull off the most evil, diabolical, unforgiving plan in human history," All For One explained.
Pointing right up at All For One, Todoroki said, "Oh my god, you're going to get rid of titties."
"I said evil," All For One pointed out, "Not insane."
"Yeah, Todoroki," Izuku added, "Everyone loves titties."
"Right, right," Todoroki replied.
"That..." Mina in the audience said, "...That sounds like something Mineta would worry about. Why is Todoroki worried about it?"
"And sensei here agrees that getting rid of titties is too much," Shigaraki pointed out, "Or at the very least implies it by saying it's insane."
"I, All For One, will replace the clean drinking water of every innocent man, woman, and child," All For One said as he held a disk shaped container up, "With Gamer Girl Bath Water!" Izuku could only look up with a confused, mildly disgusted look on his face.
...
A few moments later, All For One was laying down on the ground in the middle of Izuku's arena, completely engulfed in flames. Turning to look at Izuku, Todoroki asked, "Was the fire really necessary?"
"Todoroki, don't say anything," Izuku replied, "Please, just... just let me have this one."
"The plan that the me here came up with wasn't really all that evil," All For One in the audience said, "More disgusting than anything else."
"And Young Midoriya seemed to have defeated you relatively easily," Toshinori pointed out.
Gently shaking his head, Tale said, "It's probably going to get worse."
...
Some time at night, Izuku, Bakugo, and Todoroki were in a car, with Izuku driving, Bakugo in the front passenger seat, and Todoroki in the back passed out. There was a police car with its siren going off right behind Izuku and the others. "Ah shit, Izuku, it's the police," Bakugo said in a worried tone.
"Relax, Bakugo," Izuku said, "Let me do the talking."
"I'm already on probation, Izuku," Bakugo pointed out, "I can't go back to jail!"
"Shut up, man," Izuku said firmly, "I'll handle it!"
"So the brat's on probation, huh?" Mitsuki in the audience said suspiciously, "Figures he'd fuck up somehow."
"Zip it, you hag!" Bakugo snapped.
A few seconds after Izuku brought the car to a stop, Aoyama came walking up to Izuku's window. Aoyama was wearing a police officer hat, a pair of boots, a pair of aviator shades, a pair of speedos, and nothing else. "Good afternoon, gentlemen," Aoyama said.
"Good afternoon, officer," Izuku replied, "Did I do something wrong?"
"Why is Aoyama a police officer?" Sero in the audience asked.
"Why is he barely wearing anything?" Aizawa asked.
"Were you aware that you were going eighty miles per hour," Aoyama began, "In a forty mile per hour zone?"
"Look officer," Izuku began, then added while pointing to Bakugo, "It was Bakugo! It was his plan all along! He's got drugs from Cuba stashed up his ass, I swear!"
"Izuku, what the fuck?!" Bakugo practically exclaimed.
Aoyama immediately pulled out a gun and aimed it at Bakugo. "I'm going to need you to step out of the car and spread your ass cheeks on the hood," Aoyama said.
"And now he's demanding at gun point for Bakugo to spread his ass on a car's hood," Kaminari in the audience said dryly, while Aoyama himself was too embarrassed to say anything.
"Oh come on," Bakugo said, "You can't be serious!"
"Spread your ass cheeks on the hood now!" Aoyama ordered.
Looking at Izuku, Bakugo said, "Goddamn it, Izuku!"
"Ah ha ha," Izuku laughed in a casual, amused manner as he put on a pair of MLG shades.
"And now I'm shown not caring that I got Kacchan in trouble," Izuku in the audience said, "First off, I would never do it intentionally, and second, if I did it without meaning to I would totally care that I got him in trouble!"
Shrugging, Tale said, "Yeah, that's what comes with being like Perfect Cell. Sorry."
...
Later, over at Izuku's arena, All For One came back. "Izuku!" All For One called out.
"Goddamn it!" Izuku said, being shown sitting on the toilet with his pants and underwear down, but luckily a newspaper he was holding was blocking the view from anything that shouldn't be seen, "Why do you keep coming back, and at the worst possible times?"
"I can never be stopped," All For One declared.
"That's true," All For One in the audience said.
"Yeah right," Toshinori replied dryly.
"You see, Izuku," All For One went on, "I, All For One, have done it again. I've thought of an even more devastating, unforgiving plan!"
Rolling his eyes, Izuku said, "Yeah, that's cool and all, but could you tell me later when I'm NOT TAKING A SHIT?!"
Nodding in agreement, All For One in the audience said, "Yeah, I wouldn't show up to threaten someone when they're in the middle of using the bathroom like that."
Toshinori scowled. "Well at least you have some manners."
Gesturing to his right where Tsuyu sat in a chair, All For One said, "I, All For One, shall hold this teenage girl hostage, until you agree to pay me ransom."
"Ribbit?" Tsuyu said in a confused tone.
"He's holding me hosage for ransom money?!" Tsuyu in the audience exclaimed out of worried fright.
Mina, looking confused, asked, "If that's the case, wouldn't it make more sense for him to hold Yaomomo hostage for ransom money? I mean, her folks are way wealthier than Tsuyu's."
Pointing to the big theater screen, Yaoyorozu pointed out, "He's demanding ransom money from Izuku, not my family. Taking me or Tsuyu hostage wouldn't ultimately change anything, Mina."
Nodding in understanding, Mina said, "Right, right."
"A hostage?" Todoroki asked, "That's your evil plan?"
"What?" All For One replied, momentarily taken aback a little bit, "...Well, yes. Yes, that is my evil plan."
"You really think she's the only teenage girl?" Todoroki asked, "Why would we care if you hold her hostage?"
"Wow, that's really nice, Todoroki," Mina in the audience said sarcastically.
"To be fair, that's not how I'd react for real," Todoroki defended.
"If you save me," Tsuyu began, her bust slightly bouncing a little as she shifted slightly in her seat, "I'll show you my titties."
Todoroki instantly surged with so much power he became at tall, buff, and muscular as All Might in his strong form. "RAAAAAAAAAH!" Todoroki screamed, "You'll never get away with this, All For One!"
"That wouldn't be my reaction either," Todoroki in the audience said flatly.
"I technically wouldn't react like that either, as I'd save her regardless as she's a classmate," Mineta said, "I'll admit, it would be really nice incentive, but I wouldn't technically need it."
"Moista Fista!" Izuku called out as he summoned his stand, a tall and muscular Winnie the Pooh wearing only a red shirt. Talking calmly, Izuku said, "Go help Todoroki."
"Do I really have to?" Moista asked.
"You will do whatever the fuck the writers smoke and tell you to do, goddamn it," Izuku said, "Now go beat up the cripple!"
Sighing, Moista replied, "Fine." The scene then cut to Moista and Buff Todoroki stomping down on a downed All For One, who was crying out in pain.
"Well, a promise is a promise," Tsuyu said as she saw she was rescued.
Izuku, wearing his MLG shades, came in and said, "Ah ha ha."
"And now I'm apparently going to flash my bust at Izuku and Todoroki," Tsuyu in the audience remarked.
"Just so we're clear," Izuku said, "I for real would never expect a girl to do that if I save her."
...
At around dusk at Izuku's arena, Izuku was looking out at Todoroki came walking over. "So what's the plan?" Todoroki asked.
"Todoroki?" Izuku began.
"Yeah?" Todoroki replied.
Gesturing to his arena, Izuku said, "What happened to my arena?!" Zooming out, one could see that Izuku's arena now looked like a battlefield in a Pokémon stadium.
"What's a pokémon?" Izuku asked in a curious tone.
"It'll take a while to get into," Tale answered.
"Holy shit, would you look at that," Todoroki said. When he saw Izuku look accusingly at him, Todoroki said, "What? What, don't look at me, I can't afford this shit."
"Surprise, motherfucker," a deep, masculine voice called out, making Izuku and Todoroki turn to see who had spoken up. Upon doing so, they saw that it had been Nejire who had called out to the two of them.
"Is that Uraraka?" Todoroki asked, immediately before he was knocked over by a rock to the face. It was roughly the size of a baseball.
"Uraraka is no longer my name," Nejire said, still speaking with a deep, masculine voice, "I've evolved, motherfucker. I'm stronger, thicker, and ten times as more deadly."
"So Uraraka evolved into Nejire here," Tamaki in the audience said, not even going to try to bother with figuring anything out, "Alright then."
"...Okay," Izuku said, "But did you have to replace my GODDAMN RING?!"
Getting back up, Todoroki said, "Don't worry, Izuku, I got this covered." Turning to look in a random direction, Todoroki called out, "Juan!"
Looking over, one could see Kaminari dressed as a luchador wrestler, and he was holding a Switch. "Buenos tardes, señior Todoroki," Kaminari said, "Perdona me, for today I am off. Please, leave me to my latino activities." Kaminari, or rather Juaninari, promptly went to playing on his Switch.
"Well," Todoroki said, "There goes that plan."
"Why is Kaminari dressed as a luchador?" Sero asked.
Shrugging, Kyoka said, "Who cares? Todoroki here obviously screwed up, and Kaminari is refusing to bail his sorry rear out of trouble." Folding her arms over her chest, Kyoka said, "Given how some of the guys act here, it's about time one of them gets bitten in the rear by karma."
Nodding along, Todoroki said, "Yes, I agree."
"Ready to get yo ass whooped?" Nejire asked.
"Do it pussy," Todoroki challenged, "No balls!"
"Todoroki, she doesn't have those," Izuku pointed out.
"Oh," Todoroki replied, sounding mildly put in his place.
With a smirk, Nejire said, "Be careful what you ask for." Nejire then glowed brightly with energy as she powered up, then when the light faded she still looked normal save for her arms and legs which were now extremely buff and muscular.
"That... is an interesting form," Ryukyu in the audience remarked, unsure what to make of seeing Nejire like that.
"...What the fuck?" Todoroki began, "They make s-" Todoroki was cut off when Nejire rushed him, knocked him back over, and proceeded to beat him up by punching him repeatedly.
The scene then cut to Todoroki laying in a hospital bed, with Juaninari sitting in a chair next to the bed, indifferent because he was engrossed in playing on his Switch.
FIN
"Wow, that was an..." Izuku said, "...Interesting realm, to say the least."
"Yeah, I'm glad it's over," Tale remarked. To the audience, Tale said, "Yeah, so since that was the last realm, we're going to have to call it quits here."
"Will we ever see you again?" Toshinori asked.
Shrugging, Tale replied, "If I can figure out how to bring up the realms that shows what it would be like if each of the 1-A students had ended up being the UA traitor, then sure."
"Wait, what?" Aizawa asked.
"Good bye!" Tale said as he snapped his fingers, causing all of the audience to be vanished back to limbo. Turning to look at Kotaro, Tale said, "You interested in helping with the 'Among Us' project? I'll have to see if you'll be allowed since you help me show off realms rather than be a character in a realm I've crafted, but if I get the okay you wanna tag along?"
Shrugging, Kotaro said, "Sure, why not?" Tale and Kotaro then left the theater room, allowing it to rest after the show of various Dekus had been brought to a close.
THE END
Author's notes;
Yeah, I'm toying around with an idea for a summoned audience story where each realm shown depicts a different 1-A student as the UA traitor, but that won't be for a while, and that's assuming there's enough support for it. Also, obvious DAU reference is obvious. But other than that, yeah. I'll be seeing you all in the next tale. Later, skaters.
