Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars and Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds.
Author's note: This is dedicated to Rudolph Yugi III, Mr Kappa, Egurl of Finland, Sir Kurt, Emma Orgasm and Jake Fuckhorn.
Hanna-Boo in the Delta Cup
Hanna Marin sit naked in bed, preparing her deck for the Delta Cup.
She made it into the big duel championships known as the Delta Cup all on her own and she's happy about this.
In order to be very ready, Hanna add some new cool cards to her deck.
"This will be so much fun." says Hanna, being excited.
2 days later, the Delta Cup begins.
After lunch, Hanna has her first duel.
Feeling confident, she step out onto the field.
No duel motorcycles, this tournamnet is for regular Standing Duels, instead of Riding Duels.
"Awww!" says Hanna as she draw her 5 cards.
The opponent, a badass hardcore slutty bitch named Alexa, draw her cards also.
Alexa is the same age as Hanna.
"You may begin, kid." says Alexa, being very rude.
"Kid...? I'm no lame kid." says Hanna in anger as she draw a card.
She get a good one.
"Yeah. I play the spell card Dick Breaker no. 1, which allows me to summon the very sexy Elemental Hero Big Tranny. She has 2600 in attack. Sexy huh?" says Hanna.
"Not even close. I don't like tranny-stuff, girl. I summon Raw Goblin in attack mode." says Alexa.
"Cute. That dirty ugly thing cannot beat my hot tranny." says Hanna.
"Perhaps not on his own, but I equip him with Gold Viagra, making him 200 points stronger than your stupid tranny. Attack that damn silly thing...Wild Fuck!" says Alexa.
Raw Goblin rape Hanna's Elemental Hero Big Tranny.
Elemental Hero Big Tranny is destroyed.
"What...? I play Elemental Hero Condom White in defense mode and I throw down a card too. Yay. Sooo sexy." says Hanna.
"C'mon, my horny goblin. Take care of that loser-hero." says Alexa.
"Big poop for you, baby. When a dark monster attack I can activate my trap card...Anti-Darkness Water! This card protect any light monster on my side against dark monsters." says Hanna.
"Fuck!" says Alexa.
"My turn. I draw. Nice. The spell card Imaginary Erection. This card brings out my sweet friend known as Elemental Hero Dildo no. 3. I place my hero in defense mode for now." says Hanna.
"Too bad for ya that my goblin's gonna kill your hero." says Alexa.
"No, no, no!" says Hanna when her Elemental Hero Dildo no. 3 is destroyed.
"Okay." says Alexa.
"You killed my hero. She was so sexy. I summon Elemental Hero Ass in defense mode and then I play Insta-Fusion of Heroes and fuse him with my horny Elemental Hero Condom White, creating the oversexual hero known as Elemental Hero Big Masturbation, a strong fucker with 2950 in attack, yeah. Sexy." says Hanna.
Hanna's Elemental Hero Big Masturbation destroys Alexa's Raw Goblin.
"Damn!" says Alexa.
"And now I play the spell card Titan Pussy. It brings a high-level monster to my hand, but I won't tell you what it is." says Hanna.
"Okay. I play a card face down. Do your best." says Alexa.
"Sure. I draw. Yes! The awesome Elemental Hero Pink Pussy. I play her in attack mode and because of Elemental Hero Big Masturbation's ability no monster can destroy Elemental Hero Pink Pussy in battle." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Big Masturbation attack, but Alexa activate her face down card.
"The trap card Asexual Magic! This card stop any sex-themed monster dead in its tracks." says Alexa.
"Fuck!" says Hanna.
"It is my turn now. I draw. Nice. The spell card Day of the Dark One. Here we go...I play it. This card brings forward my mighty Dark King." says Alexa.
Dark King destroys Elemental Hero Big Masturbation.
"My hero..." says Hanna. "You'll pay fuck for that. I play Sexy Return. With this card I can bring back a sexy hero from the Graveyard and the one I pick is the one you just killed...my Elemental Hero Big Masturbation. And whenever my horny hero returns from death I can summon another powerful hero and I summon my awesome sexy Elemental Hero Orgasmic Princess." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Orgasmic Princess destroys Dark King and then Elemental Hero Big Masturbation attack Alexa direcly, ending the duel.
Hanna win.
"How the fuckin' shit did I lose to you?" says Alexa, clearly angry that Hanna won the duel.
Hanna is happy that she managed to win her first duel of the tournament.
"So sexy." says Hanna.
5 hours later, Hanna has her second duel.
The opponent is a woman named Rory.
Rory draw her cards.
Hanna does the same.
"I go first. Alright...yes! Me start by playing Elemental Hero Titfuck in attack mode and I also throw down a couple face downs for good measure." says Hanna.
"Okay. Your skinny hero's gonna be cut in half. I summon the mighty Volcano Blade. My dark warrior, slice and dice her stupid monster." says Rory.
"No! You forgot my face down cards. I activate one of them. The trap card Sexy Hero's Glory. It protect my monster from your attack." says Hanna.
"Want a real fight huh? As you wish. I play a card...face down." says Rory.
"I summon Elemental Hero Lolita Blue in attack mode." says Hanna.
"Volcano Blade, kill her Elemental Hero Titfuck!" says Rory.
Elemental Hero Titfuck is destroyed.
"Poop! You'll regret killing my cutie hero. I summon Rose Fox in attack mode. Then I use the spell card Insta-Fusion of Heroes to fuse her and Elemental Hero Lolita Blue into one. Say hi to the very sexy and powerful Mama of Fire. She's a hot flaming mommy with 2911 in attack." says Hanna.
Mama of Fire destroys Volcano Blade.
"Yeah. Sexy." says Hanna, all happy.
"I'm not going to lose this duel. I summon Night Bitch in attack mode." says Rory.
"Kinda cool. I know what that monster can do." says Hanna.
"Then you won't be surprised. Attack!" says Rory.
"No! Me activate my second face down and it is the awesome spell card Outcast Magic. It keep all my monsters safe this turn." says Hanna.
"Damn!" says Rory.
"My turn. I equip Mama of Fire with Inferno Super-Boobs. That makes her strong enough to destroy your monster." says Hanna.
Mama of Fire destroy Night Bitch.
"Yeah! Soooo sexy!" says Hanna.
"Not at all. I set a monster in defense mode." says Rory.
"Weak. I summon Elemental Hero Boob-Milker in attack mode." says Hanna.
Elemntal hero Boob-Milker glow white and blue and Mama of Fire's boobs grown bigger.
"What?" says Rory.
"Simple. As long as my Elemental Hero Boob-Milker is face up in attack mode on my side all female monsters I control get more power." says Hanna.
"Oh...then I destroy your boobed monster here and now. I send 5 cards from the top of my deck to the Graveyard in order to summon one og my favorites the big Ygradraahno Orgasmer Dragon. This black dragon sure know how to fuck other creatures to death." says Rory.
"Your dragon's got a big dick, but that doesn't mean I like him." says Hanna.
"Go ahead, dragon. Kill the Elemental Hero Boob-Milker!" says Rory.
Ygradraahno Orgasmer Dragon slide his huge dick into Elemental Hero Boob-Milker's pussy, killing her.
"Uh...no!" says Hanna.
"Ha! Your Elemental Hero Boob-Milker is dead." says Rory.
"True, but this monster will replace her. I summon Elemental Hero Handjob. He's a guy who can pack quite the power." says Hanna.
Mama of Fire grab Elemental Hero Handjob's dick, giving him a handjob.
"Yeah. If my Elemental Hero Handjob and female monster are in face up attack on my side at the same time they power each other up." says Hanna.
"No!" says Rory.
"Yeah! Mama of Fire, kill Ygradraahno Orgasmer Dragon!" says Hanna.
The dragon is destroyed by Mama of Fire's huge inferno attack.
"Fuck! You shall pay for that, little slut. I summon Red Fuck Dragon in defense mode and then use Dragon Friendship no. 4 yo fuse him with the White Fuck Dragon in my hand, creating the big Double-Fuck Dragon. With his two dicks he can rape all your beloved girl-monsters." says Rory.
Double-Fuck Dragon attacks, but Mama of Fire destroys him.
"How...?" says Rory.
"You forgot that Mama of Fire get a sexy power-bonus as long as my sexy Elemental Hero Handjob is on the field." says Hanna.
"My turn. I draw. And I get...Elemental Hero Fucking Queen. She has awesome tits and the best pussy ever. And most important 3240 in attack. Usually I'd have to tribute 4 monsters to summon her, but not when I have this...the spell card Queen's Erotic Approach. If I play this card and remove the top 6 cards in my deck from play I can summon my horny queen in attack mode straight away. Here she goes. Yeah. Very sexy." says Hanna.
"No..." says Rory.
Mama of Fire and Elemental Hero Fucking Queen both attack Rory directly, ending the duel and making Hanna the winner.
"Yay! Cute!" says a happy Hanna.
The next day it is time for Hanna's third duel.
Her opponent is a woman named Bella.
Bella draw her cards and so does Hanna.
"I summon my Buffalo Boy in defense mode." says Bella.
"That retarded ugly monster is weak. I summon Elemental Hero Farts in attack mode." says Hanna.
"He's not strong enough to kill my boy." says Bella.
"Not by himself, but he has a special ability which call out his BFF from my deck. Say hi to Elemental Hero Asslicker." says Hanna.
"What?" says Bella.
"These two heroes are like best buddies so when they're on the field together they become stronger. Go my heroes, kill that buffalo freak." says Hanna.
Hanna's heroes destroys the Buffalo Boy.
"Damn it. I summon Buffalo Daddy in defense mode." says Bella.
"His dick is not stiff so I'll summon a monster that can cut it off. Welcome, Elemental Hero Schimitar. Swing yur sword and kill that stinky fat thing." says Hanna.
Hanna's hero destroy Bella's monster.
"Oh...I summon Buffalo Mommy in defense mode and then I play the spell card Buffalo Family so I can summon a second Buffalo Daddy from my deck. He goes into defense also." says Bella.
"Alright. Say bye to your monsters. Elemental Hero Schimitar, destroy Buffalo Daddy." says Hanna.
Buffalo Daddy is destroyed.
"Sexy! And now your other monster. Elemental Hero Asslicker, lick that Buffalo Mommy right in her fat smelly old butthole." says Hanna.
Buffalo Mommy is destroyed.
"Elemental Hero Farts, go and attack her directly. Jumbo Farting!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Farts attack Bella directly by farting big in her face.
"Ewwww! That stinks..." says Bella.
"Yeah! Sexy huh?" ays Hanna.
"Let's see if you think this is sexy. I play Buffalo Incarnea in order to bring back Buffalo Mommy." says Bella.
"Me already killed that weird bimbo of a monster before. Elemental Hero Asslicker, lick Buffalo Mommy right in her fat old butthole a second time." says Hanna.
"No!" says Bella as her Buffalo Mommy is killed.
"I throw down a face down and end my sexy turn." says Hanna.
"Alright, girl. My turn. I play the spell card Buffalo Festival. This allows me to summon Buffalo King without tributes. Attack an destroy her stupid damn Elemental Hero Farts." says Bella.
"No...no! My farting hero..." says Hanna as her Elemental Hero Farts is destroyed.
"Finally that disgusting monster's gone." says Bella.
"I set a defense monster." says Hanna.
"That's all...?" says Bella.
"Yeah." says Hanna.
"Okay. I summon Buffalo Girl and place her in defense." says Bella.
"My turn. I draw. Sexy! The spell card Queen's Erotic Approach. If I play this card and remove the top 6 cards in my deck from play I can summon my horny Elemental Hero Fucking Queen in attack mode straight away. Here she goes. So sexy. She has awesome tits and the best pussy ever. And most important 3240 in attack." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Fucking Queen is a very rare card.
Hanna is lucky to have one.
"Queen, use your magic and kill Buffalo King." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Fucking Queen use her signature attack Royal Secret to kill Bella's Buffalo King.
"No..." says Bella.
"Next I'll kill Buffalo Girl. Elemental Hero Schimitar, destroy that thing." says Hanna.
Buffalo Girl is destroyed.
"Okay...my turn! First I summon Buffalo Grandfather in defense and then I play a face down as well." says Bella.
"Me isn't afraid of that old far monster. Elemental Hero Asslicker, kill her Buffalo Grandfather!" says Hanna.
Buffalo Grandfather is destroyed.
"Elemental Hero Schimitar, attack!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Schimitar tries to attack Bella directly, but Bella activate her face down card.
"The trap card Acid Sludge Beta! This card reduce your monsters attack strength down to zero." says Bella.
"Fuck!" says Hanna.
"My turn. I draw. Yes! The spell card Brain Control. I use it to take over your Elemental Hero Fucking Queen. Queen, attack your former master." says Bella.
Elemental Hero Fucking Queen destroy Elemental Hero Asslicker.
"My turn again. First my sexy queen returns to my side. And then I summon my Elemental Hero Sugar. She give extra power to all other female monsters on my side and since my queen is clearly a woman she get the boos." says Hanna.
"No..." says Bella.
"C'mon, my horny queen. Attack Bella directly." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Fucking Queen attack Bella directly.
The duel ends with Hanna as the winner.
"Yay! Socre for Hanna-Boo." says a happy Hanna.
5 hours later, Hanna's next duel begin.
Her opponent is named Emma.
Emma draw her cards and so does Hanna.
"I summon Destiny Hero Cumshot in attack mode." says Emma.
Hanna get surprised that Emma has a Destiny Hero deck, the counterpart to Hanna's own Elemental Hero deck.
"I summon Elemental Hero Shit in defense mode." says Hanna.
"Sorry, but he won't stand a chance agains the amount of cum my hero can produce. Destiny Hero Cumshot, jerk off and cum for me." says Emma.
Destiny Hero Cumshot jerk his big dick very fast and then cum.
The huge splash of cum kill Hanna's Elemental Hero Shit.
"No..." says Hanna.
"Your hero's dead." says Emma.
"True, but when he goes to the Graveyard his special ability activates which allows me to summon his best buddy Elemental Hero Vagina. I place her in attack mode." says Hanna.
"Attack mode? That bimbo of a monster only has 1200 in attack." says Emma.
"I know. Her purpose isn't to attack though." says Hanna.
"What?" says Emma.
"Figure it out, girl." says Hanna.
"Don't be all sassy against me, little loser. I summon my Destiny Hero Dick no. 2 and fuse him with Destiny Hero Cumshot to create the big powerful horny Destiny Hero Incest King. He has the best dick ever. He'll rape all your monsters to death." says Emma.
"Me don't think so." says a confident Hanna.
"Really? Watch him destroy the pussy of your Elemental Hero Vagina." says Emma.
Destiny Hero Incest King slide his dick into Elemental Hero Vagina's vagina, raping her, which kill her.
"No, my sexy cute hero!" says Hanna.
"She didn't deserve her name. She was the pussy-themed one and couldn't stand even a minute with my incest king's dick. Such a weak one." says Emma.
"You've no right to call my monster weak." says Hanna.
Hanna summon Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice in attack mode.
"There's no way your incest king can rape this babe. She is oversexual and confident. And I equip her with the spell card Super Squirter, her favorite. It brings her power up to a total of 2800. C'mon, Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice, destroy her Destiny Hero Incest King." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice destroys Destiny Hero Incest King.
"No, my king..." says Emma.
"He is so dead. Sexy huh?" says Hanna.
"Fuck it. I'll summon Destiny Hero Trio-Dick. With his 3 dicks he'll scare your female heroes shitless." says Emma.
"Wrong. Me and my monsters aren't afraid of your 3-dicked perv of a monster." says Hanna.
"I place a card face down and end my turn." says Emma, since her monster is weaker than Hanna's.
"Yay! Alright...let's see. I summon Elemental Hero Violet Pussy in attack mode." says Hanna.
Emma get jealous because she want that card too.
"Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice, squirt and kill Destiny Hero Trio-Dick." says Hanna.
Destiny Hero Trio-Dick is destroyed.
"And now...Elemental Hero Violet Pussy, direct attack!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Violet Pussy attack Emma directly.
"Fuck! Here we go. I summon Destiny Hero Orgasm in defense mode and I play a card face down too." says Emma.
"Okay. I summon Elemental Hero Deepthroater in attack mode and when she's out along with Elemental Hero Violet Pussy and Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice all of them get more power. Sooo sexy!" says Hanna.
"Not sexy at all, little girl. I summon Destiny Hero Fuck no. 3 in attack mode and fuse him with Destiny Hero Orgasm, creating the very sexy Destiny Hero Mamawhore, a monster that a kid like you cannot kill." says Emma.
"I'm not a kid." says Hanna in anger.
"Destiny Hero Mamawhore, attack!" says Emma.
Destiny Hero Mamawhore kill Elemental Hero Violet Pussy.
"You killed my cute monster, but when she die her ability activates. I can now summon her fuck-buddy Elemental Hero Red Dick from my deck." says Hanna.
"Damn!" says Emma.
"My turn. I equip Elemental Hero Red Dick with this spell card I just got. The spell card Fire Viagra. It makes his dick bigger and give him 566 more in attack." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Red Dick kill Emma's Destiny Hero Mamawhore.
"Fuck. I summon Destiny Hero Cum-Shield in defense mode. He is safe from any sexual monster and since your deck's full of them he is a very good choice to defend me." says Emma.
"Poop! Me tribute my 3 heroes to summon Elemental Hero High Priest. He's so not sexual so he can attack. Go! White Force!" says Hanna.
"I activate one of my face downs, the trap card Anti-Sacredness. It stop your attack." says Emma.
"Fucking poop!" says an angry Hanna.
"My turn. I draw. Nice. I got the spell card Big Trick Intoxication." says Emma.
"What does it do?" says Hanna, who's never heard of this card.
"It's an alcohol card that remove one light monster from play and I pick your powerful priest." says Emma.
"No! Fuck that. I activate my priest's special ability. By sending 3 cards from my hand to the Graveyard I can protect him from any spells or traps for this turn." says Hanna.
"Damn..." says Emma.
"Let's try this again. Elemental Hero High Priest, White Force!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero High Priest destroy Destiny Hero Cum-Shield.
"Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice, attack!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice attack Emma directly.
"My turn. I summon Destiny Hero Zumbelah in attack mode. This bitch will win the duel for me." says Emma.
"How? She only has 1800 in attack..." says Hanna.
"I'll show you, sweetie. First I play a card face down. Then I euop my hero with the spell card Energy Enchantment Duurioz. My hero, attack and kill that damn priest." says Emma.
Hanna's Elemental Hero High Priest is destroyed.
"No..." says Hanna.
"I activate my face down card. The trap card Force Repeat Omega. When I use this card one of my monsters can attack a second time. Destiny Hero Zumbelah, destroy Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice." says Emma.
Elemental Hero Pussy-Juice is killed.
"No. I summon Elemental Hero Layruun in defense mode." says Hanna.
Hanna also play a card face down.
"Destiny Hero Zumbelah, attack!" says Emma.
"Fuck no! Me activate my trap...Selfdestruct Beta!" says Hanna.
Emma's Destiny Hero Zumbelah is destroyed.
"Sexy huh? I summon Elemental Hero Naughty Kid in attack mode. I know she's not powerful, but she's enough to finish you off. Go!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Naughty Kid attack Emma directly, ending the duel.
Hanna is the winner.
4 days later, Hanna has her next duel.
The opponent is a woman named Gina.
"I start. I summon Elemental Hero Elemental Hero Ass to defend me." says Hanna.
"That thing's so damn ugly. I summon Umeko Druid." says Gina.
Umeko Druid kill Hanna's Elemental Hero Ass.
"Fuck. I summon Elemental Hero Tranny. And now she'll destroy your druid." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Tranny pull up the robe that Umeko Druid wear, slide her dick into Umeko Druid's ass and rape her to death.
"Yay! Bye, bye, druid." says Hanna.
"No! Okay...I summon Dark Cleric Stegnatius." says Gina.
"Pretty cool, but me not afraid of him." says Hanna.
"I play a card face down and end my turn." says Gina.
"Such a poop-move. I tribute my hero to summon her big sister, the horny and awesome Elemental Hero Big Tranny. She has 2600 in attack. Sexy huh?" says Hanna.
"No." says Gina.
"Elemental Hero Big Tranny, fuck her cleric to death!" says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Big Tranny does exactly that.
"No!" says Gina.
"Yay!" says Hanna, all happy.
"I set a monster in defense." says Gina.
"Okay. I play a face down." says Hanna, who decides to not attack, since she has no idea what Gina's monster is.
"My turn. I summon Gurkii Dragon in defense mode." says Gina.
"Shit. That dragon's a good defender. He reduce any attack to zero and cannot be killed in battle." says Hanna.
"Exactly. Whic means he'll be around for a while." says Gina.
"Fuck! There's gotta be a way to kill him. I play a couple face downs." says Hanna.
"There sure is, but a little babe like you will never figure out how." says Gina.
"Little? Me not little." says an angry Hanna.
Elemental Hero Big Tranny attack Gina's face down defense monster.
Gina's monster is destroyed.
"Yay!" says Hanna.
"My turn now. I draw...yes. I get this card and I play it here and now. The spell card Aura of the Dark Empress. With this card I can summon the strongest monster in my deck...the legandary Empress of the Darkness." says Gina.
Empress of the Darkness kill Hanna's Elemental Hero Big Tranny.
"No..." says Hanna.
"Yes!" says Gina.
"My turn. I defend with the Elemental Hero Green Panties." says Hanna.
"That stupid thing won't stand to an attack from empress. Go, empress! Kill that stupid bimbo of a monster! Dark Soul Power!" says Gina.
Empress of the Darkness kill Elemental Hero Green Panties.
"Fuck. I summon my Elemental Hero Savage Bitch and fuse her with Elemental Hero Angry Babe in my hand, creating the very sexy Elemental Hero Queen Barbarian, a monster with 2981 in attack." says Hanna.
Elemental Hero Queen Barbarian attack Empress of the Darkness.
"What fucking poop?" says Hanna when Empress of the Darkness survive it.
"My mighty empress cannot die in battle with a warrior monster. She's so evil that swords won't hurt her a bit." says Gina.
"Fuck!" says an angry Hanna.
"Time for me to end this duel. I equip my empress with her favorite spell card, Ultimate Curse. It makes her 500 points stronger than your wild queen. Empress of the Darkness, kill Elemental Hero Queen Barbarian, Dark Soul Power!" says Gina.
"No!" says Hanna as the duel ends.
Gina is the winner.
Hanna almost cry a little.
She's extremely upset that she lost.
She thought she could reach the finals.
"Mommy." mumbles Hanna as she slowly walk off the duel-arena.
She walk to her motorcycle, get on it and ride away.
Her heart is broken.
All this time, Hanna assumed she was badass, but now she feel sooo weak and sad.
Once home, Hanna switch to baggy casual soft clothes and eat ice cream and watch porn.
She cry a bit.
She wanted to win the tournament and show the world that she's a very cool sexy duelist.
Unfortunately that turned to crap when Gina defeated her.
Hanna decides to take a year long break from dueling.
The End.
