Who Cares for the Caretaker?
It was all over. The Survey Corps had found the Titan spy that had infiltrated them, who turned out to be Annie Leonhart and are currently working on trying to free her from the crystal-like substance that she had encased herself in. However, there had been many deaths and property destruction that had resulted from this plan that Armin Arlert had a considerable part in creating. And he didn't even have Eren and Mikasa with him, as Eren was still recovering from the fight with Mikasa refusing to leave his bedside until she was sure that he was OK.
Armin was sitting on a Cliffside near his bunker at the Survey Corps headquarters, looking down at the buildings, well…what was left of them, and the people down below, who were either rummaging through the rubble, trying to get info on what had happened from the soldiers still in the town, or just freaking out over the destruction and chaos. When he looked at them, Armin's stomach did gymnastics in his chest, as he thought of all of them as not only current casualties, but potential casualties, all because of his plan. What if their parents had gotten killed? What if their friends had been killed? Those thoughts made Armin feel like he was going to throw up, but those thoughts briefly left his head as he noticed Sasha Blouse walking up to him, with a soft but concerned smile on her face.
"Hey, Armin."
"Hey Sasha, look I don't really want to-," Armin tried to respond, but Sasha quickly sat down next to him and took a hold of his hand, keeping him right where he was.
"I know you don't want to talk, but I want to talk to you. You've been acting off since we got Annie back…sort of," Sasha said, starting to feel bad for Armin as she could see his skin turn ghost white at the mere mention of their former comrade.
"Well, wouldn't you be all out of sorts after discovering that one of your allies has been a Titan this whole time and killing some of your comrades?" Armin responded, not looking up at Sasha, who started rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.
"I guess that's true. But…you're normally the one giving us all the pep talks and advice that get us through the missions. It's just…weird to see you down and sad like this," Sasha admitted, blushing slightly as she remembered all the times that Armin had helped members of the Survey Corps, including her.
"Well, that's because I was completely useless out there!" Armin shouted suddenly, causing Sasha to nearly jump out of her seat.
"Useless? I…I don't know why-"
"You don't know why!? I'll tell you why! Eren and Mikasa were out there fighting Annie! Eren was able to free Annie from her Titan form, and Mikasa was able to help fight Annie off! And me!? I was just sitting there while my plans fell apart right in front of my eyes and people were dying! Is that clear enough, Sasha, as to why I feel so fucking useless!?" Armin continued to yell, finally looking at Sasha with a heated glare pointed at Sasha. However, after his rant, he noticed that Sasha was backed away slightly with tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Armin sighed and took a couple of deep breaths to calm down, as he hated seeing someone as nice as Sasha cry like that.
"Sasha…I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm just…I'm just so fed up with being useless when it matters. I just wish that sometimes I had the balls that Eren has to get into battles like this, and I wish that I had the fighting skills that Mikasa has, just so that I can actually help the regular civilians for once. Giving the civilians some hope in life where the Titans exist and can crash through the walls at any time is the main reason that I joined the Survey Corps, and I can't even do that," Armin explained. Sasha then turned Armin around to face her, and instead of the sympathetic smile or the worried frown, she now had a stern glare on her face. Before Armin could say anything, Sasha slapped Armin in the face as hard as she could, which stung like hell, but kept Armin quiet enough for Sasha to finally say her piece.
"Armin…don't ever talk down to yourself like that! You have been invaluable to the Survey Corps. I've told you that you give us pep talks and advice all the time when we need it, and honestly, they're some of the most useful tools that we have," Sasha said, focusing her determined glare right into Armin, making him even less able to look at Sasha, as his cheeks started to burn, and turn a tomato-ish red.
"What're you talking about?"
"Do you know how many of us were willing to give up and just leave? Once you see the Titans for the first time, it scares the living shit out of you and makes you rethink all your life choices. But you…you are brave. I've heard from Jean and Eren of how you've been able to speak to them and inspire them to keep fighting. I can't imagine how hard it would be to encourage someone to fight a Titan," Sasha continued to explain, pointing at Armin's chest to emphasize her point. Armin turned to face Sasha and tried to get a word out.
"Yeah, but-" Sasha put a finger over Armin's mouth before he could continue his argument.
"And then you came up with plans to not only help us but all the civilians. You came up with Eren's plan to cover the hole in the wall with a boulder and really gave us an edge. You even stood up to one of our commanders to make the plan a reality, so I think you're plenty brave. And yeah, your plans to get Annie didn't go the way it should've, but nobody ever bats 1000, and you shouldn't beat yourself over it," Sasha once again continued, with Armin's blush grew even more. Armin had always had Mikasa and Eren as friends that would encourage him whenever bullies would beat him up or he would get yelled at for being curious about the outside world. But outside of them and immediate family, Armin had never heard anyone give him some positive reinforcement like this before, and it was honestly quite shocking to him.
"Yeah but-"
"No buts Armin! You are not useless and you're definitely not a burden on anyone here; you're a brave and inspirational member of the Survey Corps. You may not be the best fighter in the Survey Corps, but that doesn't matter. Every army needs a strategist, and you are one of the best we have now, so don't feel bad over one failure," Sasha finished as she waited for Armin's reaction. To Sasha's surprise, Armin started chuckling under his breath as tears of his own started to form around the edges of his eyes.
"It really is funny. You were telling me that I'm the type of person to give people confidence and courage through my words, but here I am, losing all hope in myself and having to be given a motivational speech by someone else," Armin responded as Sasha's concerned frown returned with a vengeance, as she hugged Armin, causing him to go back to blushing.
"Armin, it's OK. There's an old saying that my Dad once taught me; 'Who Saves the Savior'? Basically, for someone who has a specific job, they have to have someone do that job for them. And Armin, I would be more than happy to give you motivation when you give yours to everyone else, even if I'm not as good at it as you are," Sasha explained as she rubbed the center of Armin's back, but stopped and once again nearly jumped away from Armin in surprise as Armin hugged her back.
"Thank you, Sasha. Thank you…so much," Armin mumbled under his breath, which was even less audible with his voice being muffled by Sasha's uniform. Sasha looked down at Armin's choked-up form and continued to run her hand through his blonde hair and his back. However, after a minute in the hug, they heard some indiscernible yelling from the distance, possibly one of their superiors, wondering where they are.
"Well…it looks like we have to go," Sasha said as she and Armin let go of each other, gazing into each other's eyes as they got back onto their feet.
"Yeah, we don't want to get in trouble. But, I really want to thank you again, Sasha."
"You don't need to thank me, Armin, it's the least I could do."
"It's just nice to know that I have more allies around here than just Eren and Mikasa. They're both great, don't get me wrong, but I would like to make some more friends and allies in the Survey Corps for…you know…times like these," Armin said, once again looking down at the floor, blushing while rubbing his right arm. Sasha, continuing to focus her gaze on Armin's hazel eyes, gave him a warm smile before closing the distance between the two of them.
"I wouldn't worry about that Armin. You…have a way of sneaking into people's hearts," Sasha mumbled before kissing Armin on the cheek. Armin, completely startled at what had just happened, jumped away from Sasha with enough force to the point where he fell on his ass. Armin continued to look at Sasha with his face completely red, and a hand on his cheek just as Sasha realized what she had just done, and her face exploded into a blush as well.
"Well…uh…it was good talking to you! I'll see you around! Bye!" Sasha shouted quickly as she quickly turned on her heels, and left, repeatedly mumbling 'Why did I do that?' to herself as she held both of her blushing cheeks with her hands, which were shaking at the thought of her surprise kiss to Armin. Armin, on the other hand, looked at Sasha's leaving form with a thousand-yard stare, with his left hand seemingly glued to his cheek. After a minute in this position, Armin heard an even louder yell from their camp and decided it would be best to get back to his feet, go back to the camp, and think about what just happened in his room.
