This is a dragon ball fanfiction only,
Multiple other series and franchises will appear.
Two Saiyans after a long mission to capture and eliminate the threat on a planet come back to the world where the Galactic Patrol headquarters are located, they both looked particularly bored, complaining that out of the entire mission they only had a decent opponent in the end. Kakarot for some strange reason was smiling when they entered the building, "Someone is excited being back to Headquarters." Raditz was heard saying, "You can't really blame them, they finish those missions so quickly of course they want another." replied Nappa.
When they heard other patrolmen complain about the stupid planet Earth, and the stupid warlords on that planet, and that only powerful warriors can go there. As they finally made it to the office of their leader, they saw a purple-skinned man sitting behind his desk, his name is Merus, and he is doing a ton of paperwork. As he saw the two and told them to have a seat since they had much to talk about.
"Job well done boys, that planet is now safe, just what I come to expect from two of our best captains, now that it's over here is the bad news, you two have not taken a single day of vacation, for the last twenty years. The higher-ups are furious about it. Telling me that they consider that to be cruel and unusual, so you two will be forced to go on vacation." Vegeta was about to say something when Merus held up his hand.
"I know what you are going to say, and no, your missions don't count as vacations no matter how much fun they are for you, and since I don't want the headache it is paid vacation so relax." Goku asked about Nappa and Raditz are they coming along, Merus told him, "no, because they actually take vacations unlike the two of you."
"You will be staying on one planet for five years, because that is how many vacation days you two have been failing to claim, you can go there, relax, and have fun but don't destroy the population or the planet, what the hell, find love, get married, have some kids, time will really fly when you are a parent." They both mumble that this is bullshit, and Goku comes up with a brilliant idea.
"Can we pick which planet we can be on?" Merus tells him, yes, Vegeta and Goku both say Earth. Merus looks down at this paperwork and then at them, "Of course, you would pick that one, even on vacation you are still working." Vegeta told him that depends on the definition, because to them work is vacation.
He pulls up a piece of paper and begins reading, "Alright this is what we know of Earth, it has one major continent called Pangea, with nine tribes and within these tribal territories are multiple cities and towns, they are led by nine of the most brutal warlords we have ever seen. There are wild and savage beasts of all kinds, the people believe in power, and they will follow whoever is the strongest. Considering that both of you have a power level of twenty thousand that should be much of an issue for the weaker towns in these tribes. There are some who you should be able to take care of rather easily but some who are more powerful than you are, by a lot, even with your super Saiyan transformations."
They are told that is all, and they turn and leave the office to tell Raditz and Nappa what is going on. As they met Nappa and Raditz at the mess hall, Raditz asked what is wrong, and they both told them that they are being forced on vacation, they begin to leave and enter their spaceships, and a few hours later they see planet Earth, a giant blue planet with one massive landmass, and they land in stealth mode on the only island far enough from the continent not to be detected.
As they left their ships and suppressed their power levels to be as low as a hermit turtle, they discuss how to get to the continent, "So do we swim, fly or use the inflatable raft?" Goku asked him, "The raft is liable to get punctured, we don't know what is in that water, and if we fly we could be spotted, that is the question, how much risk are we willing to take, considering how the other patrolmen were whining about this place." Vegeta replied.
"So how about we swim one-fourth of the way to the continent and fly the rest of the way." Vegeta asked him if he wants to swim in an ocean he knows next to nothing about what lived in it, "We can kill anything that attacks us and eat it." Vegeta simply said if we are swimming one-quarter of a mile why not just swim the whole way?
After coming up with a plan an hour later they make it to shore, sadly no animals attacked, Vegeta was getting to laugh quite a bit as Goku tried to catch fish and they all swam away, even using his tail as a lure didn't work. Goku started to mumble, "Stupid fucking fish I didn't want fish anyway." As they made it to the island they saw dinosaurs, who took one look at Goku and ran away.
Until a T-Rex tried to kill them but the minute he got close Goku shot an energy beam at it and knocked him out, and Vegeta asked, "Why didn't you kill it?" Goku said that it wasn't big enough to satisfy them, he begins to tie the poor helpless T-Rex and use it as a lure, and a few minutes later he pulls the lure causing a large fish to jump out of the water trying to bite it, Vegeta disappears and kicks the giant fish to the shore killing it.
They both cooked the fish, released the little T-Rex from the vines, and gave the small T-Rex some of the food, he seems to like it and decided to stay near the two, they both began to look up what exactly this creature was and found out it was a cousin species of the actual T-Rex which funny enough was called a Yoshi, so Goku being lazy named it Yoshi.
Yoshi jumped up and down in what appeared to be a joy as he heard his name, the two Saiyans and now their little pet continue eating the fish, Goku decided to see if Yoshi was smart and asked Yoshi if there were any cities or towns nearby, nodded his head and kept repeating his name, Vegeta began to wonder that this is just like that pokemon world they went to and took care of that jackass, Giovanni.
Goku takes out of his pack a translator that looks like a collar and puts it on, Yoshi. "Alright Yoshi, what did you say before?" Yoshi said in a particular glee that he said that there is a town a mile away that actually raises members of his species as food and transport. He asked him who would want to eat something as adorable as Yoshi, Yoshi said a monster by the name of Garlic Junior. He is the leader of that town and loves to eat roasted members of species.
He forces Chichi, Bulma, her sister Leggings, and their friends to do his bidding. Yoshi then explains how strong these people are and they can kill powerful creatures, and they use civilian men as a worker and powerful women as hunters and gatherers. Extremely strong men he uses as guards and he had six or eight elite guards that help to reinforce his rule over the city.
After hearing this Goku and Vegeta agree to rescue everyone including the little dinosaurs and take down the tyrant. Goku just wants to rescue the small dinosaurs, it takes them a while before they get to the town, and decide to try and blend in with the locals. "This looks like they are dressed like in one of those old movies we saw on GodTube."
After finding out they will take trades, and accept pelts from animals they can get money to buy clothes. They go to the wilderness killing and butchering some animals earning enough, they finally get some of the local clothes and get dressed to make themselves look like someone that lives in the city, that is until one of the local guards walks up to them.
A small bald man wearing some light armor under a lab coat was looking at Vegeta and Goku when he decided to speak, "In the name of Lord Garlic Junior, you must give us that Yoshi. We need it as an offering and meal for our lord." Goku looked at the shivering little pet and glared at the man and told him, "No, you can't take our little Yoshi, you monster, how could you harm something this adorable?"
"You should do I ask your power level is only one hundred, you will regret your decision, give me that Yoshi and we will spare your life." Goku told him again No, and then asked how does he even know about their power level, the man begins to laugh, "I am an android and my sensors have measured your power level, and it is so pathetic I can easily kill you both, consider my act of mercy in giving you a choice."
Vegeta gets upset and asked him, what is his name and what is his power level at the max? The man looks smug and told him, "My name is Doctor Kochin, and my power level is 800, and I can double that when I use my ultimate attack." At that point Goku and Vegeta start laughing, so hard that they are having a hard time breathing, "Just 800, that is the most pathetic thing I have heard in my life even Jaco could beat your ass, and he is a joke that we have work with."
Kochin looks at the seven blue monsters near him, "Bio-men kill those fools and bring that Yoshi to me, Lord Garlic Junior will have it as dinner." Goku then asked how strong are these idiots, Kochin smugly tells him each has a power level of 700.
As these monsters were about to attack, Vegeta simply wanted to show the fool who he is messing with, and simply stands as all of them attack him, and does nothing, soon the seven monsters are breathing hard, and they decided to use their ki attacks which double their power and still nothing. "Now you got my clothes dirty, and I just got them, you guys really need to train more."
Kochin then told Vegeta that they never needed to train before, they are more than enough to keep the fools in the city under control, "You know if you had attacked with them, you might have been able to hurt Vegeta a little bit, but without you this was useless. you need to be at least double of what you are, and unfortunately you are not, So Vegeta do you want them or can I have them?"
Vegeta says "Let's settle this the old fashion way." And immediately Vegeta and Goku start to do a rock-paper-scissors match, three matches were a draw but Vegeta won the final match. "Alright, now they pay for what they did." He begins to almost blur and out of nowhere the seven monsters begin to explode and Kochin looks like he is ready to piss his metaphorical pants.
Kochin manages to run away to warn the Lord that someone has come to challenge his rule. Yoshi immediately jumps onto Goku and is trying to hug him, "Master Goku, you go as far as that for me." Shocking everyone that this Yoshi can talk and they wonder how is that possible. When two blue-haired women walked up to the site and smiled, "Clearly that collar is a translator, I would love to take it back and study it." Vegeta walks up to the lady and says there is no need, he has an extra, however, she have to pay for it.
She smirks, "Depending on how I am supposed to pay I might agree to it." Licking her lips as she gave him a once over. She lifts her hand and a small ball of Ki is seen, "My power level is 400, I am amazed that there is someone as strong as you, I invented this little scouter that lets me see the power level of other people, and when they attacked for a second your power level was 19,600. I am impressed that you can spike your power level that high. So that means your power level is 10,000 at the max. It is impressive and together you might be able to defeat Garlic Junior since his power level is 20,000."
Vegeta whistled and told her he found that impressive, using their mental link, "That would be impressive if we didn't have our transformations and our ultimate attacks." Goku agrees and told the woman talking with Vegeta, "Mind telling us who both of you are? I am Goku, and the guy you were talking to is Vegeta." Vegeta corrects him and tells him that his birth name is Kakarot, Goku tells Vegeta that he uses both.
"I am Bulma Briefs, and that young lady over there standing by your side is my little sister Leggings." Leggings were currently petting little Yoshi and tells them that she is the third child of the Brief family, their older sister is unfortunately in another city. Forced to work for an asshole." Bulma corrects her, "You mean a major asshole, he is known as Doctor Gero."
Bulma told Vegeta and Goku to go with them and to get them ready to take down the evil tyrant, Goku and Vegeta agree to go with them, Vegeta was curious about the potential plans to take down this evil warlord Doctor Gero, and Goku was more interested in grabbing some good food. Yoshi followed behind.
They entered a weird oval-shaped building that had been once called Capsule Corp, now called Garlic Corp. They brought them to the laboratory and a machine scanned them as they entered, collecting all of their data, two glared at Bulma, "Did you really think we wouldn't notice that you scanned us?" She said that it was necessary, to make proper gear and equipment for them.
Goku told her, "We don't need gear, we are perfectly fine without it, now where is this food I was promised." She told him that Garlic Junior is actually a lot weaker than the actual warlord that has their sister captive, and as for the food, it is cooking. As she said that a blonde woman appears on one of the monitors, "Sorry, but I am trying very hard to make a healthy meal for all of you, and thanks to that scan I can see what you are allergic to as well as how much food we need so I need a little time, and boy do you guys pack it in."
The food is done in the building's dining room, two beautiful girls with black hair, come in and start to serve the food and they are with the blonde lady that they had seen on the screen earlier, "Sorry it's a small meal, I was not expecting either of you. My name is Bikini Brief, the mother of Bulma and Leggings. My husband is currently busy with research and my daughter who is captive is Tights."
Vegeta thanked her for the food and treated her with respect. Goku did the same and thanked her for the food while apologizing for his outburst that he thinks this meal was as good as his mother's. He turned to the older of the two black-haired women and asked what her name was? She said her name is Chichi, and her sister is Kiki. Chichi told him that they were members of the royal family that ruled their town until Garlic Junior took over.
"He captured, Master Roshi, her father, and all of his students, and also captured Master Shen, his brother Tao and their students, he is currently trying to force them into serving him." Vegeta asked why are they still alive? She told him that they are very strong and Garlic Junior wants to use them as his soldiers to invade other towns.
"The warlords are trying to outdo each other, we can use this to our advantage." Goku smiled at his friend, to which Vegeta simply said that first, they need to liberate this town, after all, they will need a headquarters. "I agree with you, my friend." Goku said.
Doctor Kochin has finally reached the headquarters of the Elite Guard, the Spice Boys. He is met by his daughter who is extremely worried about her father and asked him what is the matter. He tells her about the horror that he went to obtain a Yoshi to be a meal for their lord and having found one two peasants refused to give the animal up, but when he sent his own Bio-men they killed all seven of them in a matter of seconds.
This caused Spice and the other members of his squad to become concerned, it was no secret that those bio-men were not that week, but they couldn't take this news to Lord Garlic Junior for if he finds out it would mean their deaths. So they decided to deal with these disrespectful peasants themselves, no need to bother their lord with such mundane matters.
After a peaceful night's sleep, Goku and Vegeta got dressed in the clothes they bought, but they are spotless, Goku said. "How nice, they washed and dried our clothes." To which Vegeta said, but that means they came into the room where we were sleeping and took them off the floor, which means that they saw everything.
"Why would it matter Vegeta, they are pretty girls, and our Leader told us to have fun on this vacation, so relax." They finally made it to the dining room to find that the girls and Bikini were having some breakfast, eggs, sausage, hash browns, and orange juice.
They heard an explosion, and an older version of Bulma, wearing a lab coat and squared-rimmed glasses comes to the door opening it, "Damn it, I can't turn back to normal. This is my seventh attempt since our world was invaded." Goku asked Bikini who is that woman and what does she mean by the Seventh attempt? Bikini laughs and says that she is her husband, Goku and Vegeta look at her and think she is nuts.
"No, no she is not insane, I was conducting an experiment, and ended up getting turned into a woman, again, this is the fourth time I got turned into a woman, but unlike before, we can't use the dragon balls to change me back to normal since the warlords pretty much took them."
Goku and Vegeta looked at him again, "What are these so-called Dragon Balls?" This makes both Chichi and Bulma nearly choke with their juice. Bulma explains that they magical balls that when a person gathers all seven, they can summon a mighty dragon that can grant one wish. Vegeta said isn't that sort of like the Namekian Orbs?
Goku said that yes it does, but that means there is a dragon clan Namekian on this planet. To which they say there is, but unfortunately he was the guardian of the planet and was taken captive by a warlord named Lord Slug. When they invaded they each took a dragon ball for themselves, she said, and once a year they determine who gets the dragon balls through combat.
That is why Garlic Junior is collecting warriors so their master Doctor Gero can obtain the dragon balls. The warlords has forced Kami to do their bidding, by threatening to destroy every city if he does not obey. Being the guardian of their planet and a good person he was forced to agree. If only King Piccolo would have been unsealed and the two can become one again and thus be able to take out some of these bastards, Doctor Brief said.
After their meal, they heard on the radio that three of the Spice Boys have come to the city demanding the strangers and they have fourteen bio men with them. If these strangers do not arrive within ten minutes they will start to destroy the town. Goku and Vegeta decide to go and confront them Bulma told the three men have a power of 10,000 each and all the bio men together are over 20,000. There is no way for Goku and Vegeta to defeat them.
Goku smirks, "You just have to see what we can do." As the two of them left, they decided to simply put on their normal combat uniform, as galactic patrol officers, they reach the location of the three men and fourteen minions. The three spice boys looked at them and smiled, "Well this makes more sense, who knew galactic patrolmen were hiding here." Jasmine complained.
Goku laughed confusing them, Jasmine asked why are you laughing, and Vegeta spoke up, "Because we are not hiding, and to us, this planet is a vacation. Apparently, you don't know what species we are Saiyans."
Jasmine complained, "We had to deal with the Saiyans from that tribe and now we have to deal with you two, great." To which Goku and Vegeta looked at each other, "More Saiyans on this planet, how interesting. Maybe this vacation will not be as bad as we thought Kakarot."
Goku agrees with Vegeta, "At least we can be happy that our species is not as dead as we once thought. So now that this part of the introduction is over, I am Goku, also known as Kakarot and he is Vegeta, former Prince of our people. But since there are more Saiyans alive he might regain his title. And now who are you lot?"
One of them who had spoken before said they are three of the Spice Boys, "My name is Jasmine, the guy next to me is Herb and the one in the back is Cinnamon and of course, you met the bio men." Goku asked isn't Jasmine a girl's name? Jasmine gets pissed, "Jasmine is a spice, we are the spice boys, you jackass."
Vegeta begins to laugh, "I don't know Jasmine is also a flower, and you certain react like a girl." Jasmine screams to the bio men to attack the one named Goku, and he wanted to kill the one named Vegeta himself, for daring to call him a girl and flower.
The three spice boys go after Vegeta and the fourteen bio men after Goku but they both flew away in opposite directions away from the town. Going a mile away Vegeta stops in the air, "This should be far enough for our fight, Spice Boys or the Spice gals, cause you will cry for mercy when I get done with you. If you survive that is."
Jasmine said that all he has done is bluster, when Vegeta stops hiding his power and powers up to full power to 20,000, "I believe I am more powerful now boys." They cursed and complained and they transformed into their true forms. Every time they try to fight and they miss. "Stop being a coward and fight like a man." Vegeta stops evading and they all hit him, and nothing happens.
Vegeta looks at the three and laughs, "I would say that sort of tickled but I would be lying, you had your turn now it's mine." Blow after blow keeps connecting and he let them survive and then he looked at them, "Unless you unleash your ultimate attack you will not survive." As the three men began to power up their attack they fired at him combining their power as one, as they heard Galik Gun. They combined attack crashed against the Galik Gun blast thinking that they were overpowering him he used his full power behind it and pushed their attacks back till it hit the three and exploded burning them to dust.
Meanwhile, Goku is playing tag with all the bio men, disappearing and appearing right behind other bio men as they tried to hit him, and this caused the bio men to end up hitting each other. "Monkey See, Monkey Do, I made a monkey out of you." Making them all mad they begin powering their attack, as they fired the attack they hear, KAMEHAMEHA!
Their attacks connect and using all of his strength he pushes back and wipes them all out. Goku asked through the mental, "You think anyone saw that?" Vegeta then answered if he means two explosions far away then yes everyone saw that. Goku started to laugh, "Good then we have just declared war on these warlords."
Goku and Vegeta made it back to Garlic Corp, as they see four girls rush towards them as they land, "How did you survive? Our Scouters said that your power went from 20,000 to 100,000 how is that possible." Goku and Vegeta begin to laugh, "We both have a special attack that can increase our power by five times when we attack. As you can see ladies we will be fine going up against Garlic Junior, and with a little work we may even get to rescue your sister, and one day get the dragon balls for your dad."
However Doctor Brief while unseen began to blush, "Bikini always said that she wanted to have a three-way when I was a girl last time, maybe this is our chance. Who knows I might like being a girl." Goku and Vegeta said that they wanted to take a nap and so headed towards their room.
