Summary: Luffy has flashbacks of his past and his abusive grandfather.
Trigger Warning: Angst Abusive behaviour
It was around midnight when Luffy woke up screaming.
He was sweating profusely. His heartbeat in his ears and wet strands of jet-black hair glued to his forehead. His chest was heaving rapidly, allowing the air to enter his lungs with an excruciating pace.
He couldn't breathe. He was going to die. He wanted to die.
Death sounded better than the burning pain in his chest, the fear and the memories.
Than his voice.
Than those words:
"You are worthless."
"Good for nothing piece of shit."
Luffy stood up rapidly in his bed, head clutched between sweaty palms and fingers intertwined in his damp hair.
No, no, no, no... Don't think about that. Don't. Just don't.
But the thoughts, the memories, they didn't stop. They never would.
"No one will ever love you."
"You disgust me."
"No... " the boy murmured weakly. His broken voice almost sounded like a plea in the void space of his room. A devastated cry trapped within four walls without hope of ever escaping.
"Just drop dead finally - you are a waste of space and nothing more."
"Please, no," cried out Luffy, desperately. Tears started rolling down his pale cheeks. "I can't, I can't take it, please just stop..."
But it didn't stop.
He could see him towering over his own quivering form. He could see the half-empty bottle of whisky in his hand. Smell his alcohol induced breath next to his face and stare into those red and glassy brown orbs.
"Please, no, just leave me, I have been good, I promise," whispered the boy in fear, squeezing his eyes shut. The iron grip he had on his hair tightened even more, but he couldn't sense it. There was nothing else he could think about at that moment other than Garp's malicious smirk.
"I promise, p-please, please, believe me," pleaded Luffy with a raspy voice, his words dying in the darkness engulfing the room. He curled his quivering body forward into a ball, becoming barely visible on the large bed. "I-I did the dishes, t-the laundry, I c-cleaned the house, also i-ironed the clothes and cooked you b-breakfast," continued the dark-haired teen, while rocking back and forth on the bed.
"I h-have really been a good boy, so, p-please, just s-stop," stuttered the boy, "Just leave me alone. I did everything right. Did everything you said."
But it was too late. The memories started flooding his vision like tsunami waves, annihilating everything that stood in their way.
Garp swung forward with the big bottle, aiming at the eleven years old's head. The sound of glass shattering filled the air. Blood splashed on the nearest wall and was followed by a loud thump - Luffy had fallen face-first on the dirty carpet.
The boy was sprawled on the floor not being able to move an inch. His eyes turned glassy and unfocused. His vision blurred. Everything was spiralling.
He barely even registered the boot that was pressing his head down to the ground. It hurt. A lot. Not more than the wound on his head, though.
Garp had hit the top of his head and it was split open at the moment. He was sure there were pieces of glass stuck there also, if the piercing pain and the pressure on some parts of his skull were anything to go by.
"-ie, scum. Fucking answer me you lowlife trash!"
The pressure on his wound increased and Luffy groaned out in pain. He must have blacked out for a couple of seconds. The child outstretched his small arm forward, trying to grasp something, anything, to save himself. But there was nothing.
No one could help him. He was a disgusting excuse of a human being. A misfit, a monster that shouldn't have ever been born. He deserved everything that was happening to him right now.
He was worthless. Only causing pain to those around him.
That was about right wasn't it? If he wasn't really the devil's offspring, his grandfather wasn't going to act this way towards him, right?
Right?
He must truthfully be as awful as Garp said. That meant the 50-year-old man had every right to be stepping on his head right now. Luffy deserved everything he was getting. There wasn't any other explanation. When you are simply born evil, it doesn't matter how hard you try to do everything right: you are just meant to fail miserably and suffer to atone for the fact he existed.
A sharp pain in his arm abruptly stopped the boy's train of thought. His vision cleared slightly from the affliction and he raised his head from the ground a bit.
There was blood gushing out of his forearm. The bright red liquid dripped down on the old carpet, leaving nasty red trails on his pale skin and the worn-out material. A broken bottle caged his outstretched arm. The razor-sharp, pointy ends of the glass were plunged to the bone in the motionless limb.
"I told you to answer me, you piece of shit!" Garp shouted and spit on Luffy's bloodied head. "Where is my son? Where is Dragon!?"
The man's shrill voice rang loudly in the black-haired boy's ears. There was so much anger, desperation and disgust in those words.
"You don't know, do you? Well I also don't know! And do you know why?" asked his grandfather, his vicious question followed by a blood-curdling laugh, "He left because of you! Because of FUCKING YOU!"
The child couldn't take it. He wanted it to stop.
"He left so he wouldn't see you! Because he hates you, he fucking hates you, you miserable piece of shit!"
Luffy squeezed his eyes shut in a pointless attempt to distance himself from everything that was currently happening.
He was in so much pain.
Even though he felt dull towards the throbbing pain his body was in, nothing was able to subdue the agonising ache in his heart.
It hurt immensely.
It hurt knowing that you have caused such anguish to someone that it forced them to act so cruelly towards you.
The boy's eyes filled with tears.
It was all his fault. Garp was always so nice to everyone. He was a marine. His whole life was dedicated to the sole purpose of helping others.
And then there was Luffy. He was the worthless trash that had ruined his grandfather's life. He was the reason Garp would become so cruel around him. All of the boy's efforts to be good were pointless. His whole existence was evil and that's why amazing people like Garp would transform into monsters, when they were around him.
No, "they" weren't monsters. Luffy was. He couldn't understand why he was born to be awful to the core. His mother hated him, his father hated him and so did Ace and his grandfather. That's why they all left him. He wasn't worthy of their love - of anyone's love.
He was wicked. He didn't deserve to live. Garp was right that he should die. His existence was a big inconvenience that was inflicting pain on everyone around him.
"Fucking insect. Think you are all mighty for not answering my questions, huh?" questioned the gray-haired man, stomping ruthlessly on the boy's small head with his foot; his words stabbing like knives in Luffy's heart. "Acting as if you don't know any of those things. You deserve to die, you ignorant trash. Die and atone for all your sins, for all the pain you've caused everyone by being born!"
The black-haired boy was sobbing helplessly. Garp lifted his boot from his head and kicked Luffy in the side. The child rolled over on his back and groaned in pain. Blood was running down from his bruised lips.
The child blinked a couple of times, trying to come to his senses. His vision was obscured moments after by a big hand, stinking of cigarettes. His grandfather yanked him upwards by the collar of his remarkably worn-out T-shirt, almost ripping off its top part. Luffy's body swayed lifelessly in the air, inches above the ground.
The last thing his unfocused eyes could register was the raised fist comically slow inching nearer and nearer by every millisecond towards his face.
The next thing he knew, Garp's arm collided with his nose and a cracking sound split the air. The child lost consciousness.
"No, n-no…" Tears were streaming with full force down Luffy's face and falling on the white blanket. "I-I'm sorry, I'm so s-sorry… about everything. I p-promise I didn't m-mean to. I never m-meant to ruin all your lives."
Hiii~~!
Hope you all are doing good! Sorry for being absent, hope you are still following the story!
What do you think about the chap? Did some things around Luffy, his past and his behaviour, become clearer?
Please give me your thoughts
Have a nice one!
