This one takes place at the end of Chapter 17 of Shift, when Bella finds out she's pregnant and Masen proposes. This was a special request by Mariah Hajile. Here you go, Iris! Xo
**Not beta'd. BitterHarpy gave this a once over. Thank you, lovely! Xo. All mistakes are mine.
Shift outtake: The one where Bella gets news and Masen proposes.
Bella
"Thanks," I mutter, grabbing the bag and turning away from the counter. The weight of the thin plastic bag feels way heavier than it should, and I could swear everyone in the drugstore has their eyes on me.
I probably could have driven up to Tucson, been an anonymous customer buying a pregnancy test, but I'm not sure I could have made the drive without stopping to throw up.
When I make it to the car, I get in and start it up, cranking up the AC and aiming the vents straight at my face. When the roiling in my stomach abates enough that I don't feel like I'm going to barf, I buckle up and back out of the spot, pulling out of the lot and into the road.
As I drive home, I think back to the last few weeks, wondering how I could have messed up my pills. At this point, it's the only explanation that makes sense. I've been sick for days, but more importantly, I'm late.
Masen is going to flip.
I don't know how we're going to manage to support a tiny baby, someone completely dependent on us. We're managing okay right now, but I'm not sure how we'd be able to afford a kid.
The apartment is empty and quiet when I get home, and within five minutes, I have my answer. It takes less than a minute for the second line to glow bright pink in the window of the plastic stick.
I'm definitely pregnant.
A part of me and a part of Masen is growing inside me, and in a handful of months we'll be responsible for him or her.
Panic steals my breath, and my pulse starts to race. While I've always seen myself someday having a family, I'm not ready now. I feel like we've barely been able to take care of ourselves, and now we'll have a little person completely dependent on us for survival.
Or maybe just me.
I squeeze my eyes shut at the realization this may not be something Masen can deal with. Maybe he'll feel like I've done this to trap him and he'll tell me to get out, to go back to Charlie because he doesn't want to be weighed down by the responsibilities.
If he decides to toss me out, I'm not sure I can do this on my own.
But maybe I shouldn't do this at all. Maybe I should end it and put it behind me, vow to myself to be more careful in the future. I wouldn't be the first woman to find herself making that tough decision.
But I don't really want that. The thought of having a little person, half me and half Masen, someone who would be all mine, my blood, my family, it makes me smile through my tears.
My hand splays over my flat stomach. No, I need to, at the very least, give Masen a chance to tell me what he wants, whatever that is. I'm not sure I could live with myself if I kept it from him.
It's probably hours later when I hear the door unlock, but it barely registers. I've been stuck on the sofa, unable to take my tearful eyes off the innocent-looking white stick on the coffee table.
"Hey," Masen says as he walks inside.
My head pops up, and I wipe at the tears on my cheeks. "Hey."
He tosses his keys on the table and walks over, crouching down in front of me. "What's wrong?" He cups my cheeks and searches my eyes. "You still feeling sick?"
I shake my head and lean back, taking a deep breath. Nervousness assaults my belly, and if the constant nausea I've been feeling isn't enough, I definitely feel like I'm going to be sick.
"Then what is it?"
I close my eyes and swallow, steeling myself to tell him. "I figured out why I've been feeling so bad."
"What is it?" he asks, his voice shaky.
I can hear the worry in his voice, and I feel awful for being the one to put it there. As my eyes open, they fill with tears. I attempt to blink them away as I reach past him, grabbing the test off the table. With a trembling hand, I place the white stick in his.
His brow furrows as he stares down at the unassuming piece of plastic in his palm. I can see the moment understanding finally dawns. He swallows hard, and all his breath seems to leave him in a slow exhale.
"I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant," I whisper.
"You're ..."
"Yeah."
Silence stretches between us, his eyes never leaving the test in his hand. And even though he's so close, only inches away, it feels like with every passing moment, the longer he remains silent, he's drifting farther and farther away from me.
He doesn't want this. He doesn't want me ... us.
I wait for the inevitable yelling, the accusations he's sure to hurl my way. And with every beat of my heart, a piece of it shatters with the realization that I've lost my best friend. I swallow down the sobs threatening to crawl up my throat, and when he finally speaks, when he reaches for me and grasps my hands in his, nothing could prepare me for what he says next.
"Marry me."
"What?" My eyes widen and I lean away from him. Surely, I've heard him wrong. There's no way he could—
He drops to his knees and inches closer to me. "Marry me. I know it's not something we've talked about, but I want us to get married. I want to give this kid a family. A mom and a dad—"
I shake my head. I'm not prepared for this. Marriage was never on my radar, never on my mind. It's something I've never seen work, and I care too much about Masen to chance throwing it away on a commitment I doubt either of us are ready to make.
"Mase, you'll still be its dad, even if we don't get—"
"But I want it, Bella. I love you, and I want you and my kid to have my name. I want to give him or her what I never had—a real family from the start. Tell me that isn't something you want."
I can't bear to look into his bright, hopeful eyes, so mine drop to our joined hands. "It is, but ..."
"But what? Give me one good reason why it's a bad idea."
The reasons swirl around in my head. What if he's asking me out of some misguided sense of duty? Will he grow to resent me, one day accuse me of trapping him in a marriage he wasn't really ready for? Can I make the kind of commitment he's asking for? What if he decides one day I'm not what he wanted?
I look up then, tears filling my eyes. "You want to marry me?"
"I do, Bella. I've always thought we'd get there someday, so why not now?" He releases one of my hand and reaches for my belly, the warmth of his hand covering the place where that spark of life we made lies. His eyes shine with what I think are happy tears and his voice cracks as he smiles at me. "I want this. I want you, and I want you to be my wife. I want to make a family with you. Please say you'll marry me."
My eyes once again fall to our joined hands. He's asking me to promise myself to him, to make a family with him. I'd be lying to myself it the thought didn't make my heart smile. Just the fact that he wants to marry me, wants to make a life with me has me reeling.
No one has ever chosen me. And this man, this boy who's been my friend when it mattered, is choosing me. It's almost too much to comprehend.
I cover his hand with mine, the one pressed to my belly, and smile. "Yeah, Mase, I'll marry you."
His breath leaves him in a whoosh as he pulls me into his arms. "We're gonna be so happy together, Bella. You'll see." He kisses the top of my head and holds me tighter. "You'll see."
