It's BitterHarpy's birthday today, and she's probably one of Masen's biggest fans, so this is for her. Love you, girl! Xo
*Shift outtake. A dual POV look into the days following Sam's homecoming—roughly four weeks after his birth—these happier days take place between chapters 19 and 20 of Shift.
**Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.
**Thanks to Maplestyle for giving this a once over. Thank you, lovely! Xo
Bella
Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Beeeeep.
I jerk awake but Masen's feet hit the floor before my eyes are even open. He's next to the bassinet in a flash, his hand is on Sam's leg, gently rubbing and jostling him, just like the nurses showed us.
"Take a breath, buddy," he whispers, waiting for the alarm to stop. It finally does, and Sam takes a gulping breath before crying.
Our nightly routine has been the same since we've gotten home. But it doesn't make it any easier to hear the alarms going off, knowing it means my baby's breathing has stopped.
I crack one eye open and roll to my side. "Is it time for him to eat already?"
"No. It's only been an hour." Mase looks over his shoulder at me. "Go back to sleep."
When the alarm finally stops, Mase scoops Sam out of his bed and holds him to his bare chest, bouncing him. "It's okay, Sammy. Daddy's got you."
It's a sight I'm still not used to seeing. Masen's always been gentle with me, but I wasn't prepared to see the gentle-daddy side of him.
My train of thought is derailed by Sam's squealing, high-pitched cry, and I wonder if they can hear him in the trailer next door.
He looks over at me. "Maybe he does want to eat."
"Check his diaper first," I say as I sit up in bed, arranging pillows behind me.
He does as I ask, laying Sam back in the bassinet to check. "He's good," he says as he quickly disconnects the monitor leads and wraps Sam up in a swaddle. Mase picks him up and takes the two steps back toward our bed, crawling in beside me.
I reach for the baby with greedy hands. "Gimmie."
Carefully, I take him from Masen, bringing my lips to Sam's forehead. "Mommy's little burrito baby. Are you hungry, precious baby boy?"
I'm quick to lift my shirt and bring him to my breast. And even with all the other problems we've had, thankfully, breastfeeding hasn't been one of them. He latches on and starts to suckle right away. While I hold him in one arm and run a finger over his tiny features with my free hand, Masen rests his chin on my shoulder, watching us.
"Have I told you how amazing you are?" he whispers.
I turn my head and meet his gaze, smiling. "For taking care of my son? Isn't that what moms are supposed to do?"
He brushes his lips against mine. "The good ones, yeah. But I meant you. You're amazing, Bella. All the shit you went through just to bring my son into the world." He sighs and lays his head back on my shoulder, running a hand over Sam's head. "Amazing."
Spinning in a circle, I scan the bedroom and go through a mental checklist. "Do I have everything?"
I'm rummaging through the diaper bag one more time when Masen walks up behind me and places his hands over mine, stilling them. "Baby, you have enough diapers packed for a week and three sets of clothes. It's just a check up with the pediatrician." He turns me to face him and places a kiss on my lips. "You're good."
"Okay."
"Okay. I'll grab Sam if you grab the diaper bag."
Masen double checks Sam's car seat straps while I collect the diaper bag ... after giving it one more check. My husband chuckles and shakes his head, but doesn't say anything as I walk past him toward the door.
I make eye contact as I pass. "Don't."
The jerk laughs. "I wouldn't dare, baby."
We're a few miles down the road when I realize just how slow we're moving.
"We're gonna be late."
Masen turns his head to look at me before turning back to the road, checking his mirrors. "No, we're fine. We've got plenty of time."
I bite my lips to suppress a smile. Sam starts to fuss, so I reach behind the seat to try to soothe him by rubbing his cheek. "It's okay, baby boy." I narrow my eyes at Masen, still fighting my grin. "Daddy is just taking his sweet old time."
He huffs a breath. "I'm just being careful, Bella." He looks in the rear view mirror. "We've got precious cargo," he murmurs.
I lean over and rest my head on his bicep, smiling as we drive down the highway. "I love you."
He kisses the top of my head. "Love you, too, baby."
The pediatrician's office isn't busy, so we're brought to an exam room right away. Sam is weighed and measured, and we're told he's gaining weight and growing right on schedule.
When the doctor finally joins us, he takes his time examining Sammy. He listens to Sam's heart, looks in his ears, and listens to his lungs. He explains each step, even down to what he's doing when he checks Sam's reflexes and hip flexors. Once Sam's had a full-body inspection, the doctor fastens his diaper and snaps his sleeper closed, finally handing him back to me.
"He's doing well," he says while he scribbles some notes in the chart. He finally spins around on his stool to face us. "You're doing a great job with him. All his numbers are going in the right direction. The information you're keeping in the apnea monitor diary is promising. He's eating well, he's got the right number of wet and dirty diapers."
"So, he's growing on schedule? Should we be worried about anything yet? I know the books say there are a lot of things we should be looking for, but I'm worried we're going to miss something." Mase rubs my back, and the anxiety I was feeling only a moment ago seems to dissipate.
The doctor smiles, his gentle tone reassuring. "You're right. There are a lot of things we need to watch for. But everything you've told me and everything I've seen today tells me Samuel is on the right track. There's no reason to worry. You need to remember, he's going to need time to catch up. He may be four weeks old, but we're still two weeks from when he should have been born. Preemies start off at their gestational age, not like a full-term infant would. So, don't expect him to meet the milestones you see in the books. At least not for the first year. He spent his early weeks fighting to survive, so he gets a pass for now. Just keep doing what you're doing and I have a feeling that little guy is going to surprise all of us with how fast he catches up."
After making an appointment for next month, we leave the pediatrician's office.
"What time did you tell your dad you'd be in today?"
"After lunch. I'll probably have to stay late, but I figured it was better than not getting paid for the whole day."
"Thanks for going with me." I run my fingers through his hair and let my fingers trail along his jaw, my thumb finally coming to run across his bottom lip. "You didn't have to come with us, but I'm glad you did."
He kisses my thumb. "I wanted to."
With my body turned toward him and my head resting on the headrest, I stare at my husband. "You remember what you said to me last night?"
He grins. "About my wife being amazing?"
I can't help but grin in return. "Yeah, that."
"What about it?"
I lower my voice, meaning every syllable. "You're pretty amazing, too."
Once we're home, Mase walks us in, staying long enough to get Sam back to sleep for me.
"What?" he asks, side-eyeing me. "I won't get any time with him this afternoon." He kisses the top of Sam's head. "I need some snuggle time with my boy."
And with just a few words, I fall a little more in love with him.
I watch from our doorway as Masen lays Sam in his bed then follow him out to the living room. "I'll probably have to stay after closing since I'm going in so late." He plants a kiss on me and pats my ass. "So, don't wait up. You need your sleep."
"Love you."
He pauses at the door and shoots me a wink. "Love you, too, baby. Give my boy a kiss from his old man when he wakes up."
Without another word, he slips from the house.
Masen
"Mase, I need you to make a parts run for me," Pop says from the office. "I'm going to need it for a job in the morning, but with the holiday yesterday, the delivery got all fucked up. They can't promise it'll be here before Monday."
I wipe the grease from my hands. "Okay. Where am I headed?"
"Phoenix."
"Are you fuckin' serious? I won't get home until like eleven o'clock."
He shrugs, like he really doesn't give a shit. I'm pretty sure he doesn't. "I was gonna throw in some overtime, make it worth your while. Thought you could use the money. But if you can't, I'll just ask Tracker or Jazz to do it. I really need those parts."
Resigned, I sigh. "Yeah, I'll do it."
I send Bella a text, letting her know I'll be home even later than I'd planned and hit the road. The drive is boring, the straight, flat stretch of desert highway holding nothing to keep my attention. I smoke too many cigarettes and listen to the radio at too high a volume.
The parts place is a hole in the wall. Aged, stained linoleum covers the floor of the lobby, the same cracked vinyl seat I see in every other joint like this lines one wall, and a beer-bellied attendant sits at the grease-covered window ledge guarding the storeroom of countless parts.
I give him the order number, hand over the cash, and wait. I'm in and out in fifteen minutes.
The drive back is just as boring, but as I get closer to home I start to get antsy. It's the longest I've been away from Sam since he's been born, and I don't like it. I've been working long days since about a week after he was born, but even when he was still in the hospital, I would manage to sneak away at lunchtime to see him.
As expected, the trailer is dark when I get home. Only Gran's bedroom window at the far end of the trailer glows with light. I'm quiet as I walk inside, slipping off my boots and hanging my keys on the hook by the door. Covered in the grease and grime of the day, there's no way I'm getting into bed like this, so I bypass our bedroom for the shower.
Finally clean, I grab a towel and dry off, wrapping it around my waist and stepping from the bathroom. Our room is dark, only a nightlight and the flashing LEDs of Sammy's apnea monitor light up the room. As I'm rummaging through my drawer for a pair of boxers, I notice Sam stirring in his bassinet.
"Hey, buddy," I whisper. I'm unable to stop myself from picking him up. I hold him against my chest and tuck him under my chin. "Daddy missed you tonight."
I close my eyes and sway back and forth with him in my arms, and it's one of the best fucking feelings in the world.
"I didn't hear you come in," Bella whispers from the darkness.
I hum, still holding onto my now-sleeping son.
"Is he out? I just fed him like half an hour ago. He shouldn't be hungry already."
"Yeah, he's out," I whisper.
Carefully, I lay Sam back in his bed, making sure the strap around his chest and the wires coming from it are straight and untangled. I stand at his bedside, looking down on him. Just when I'm about to turn back to the dresser to grab my boxers, the bed behind me squeaks and Bella's arms wrap around my waist, her cheek pressing against my back.
"You're so good with him, Mase."
I turn in her arms, tilting her chin up. "We're good with him. You're kicking ass at the mom stuff." I lean down and press my lips to hers.
Trouble is, it doesn't take long for both of us to get carried away. Bella's hands glide up my chest and grasp my neck, her fingers tangling in my hair and my hands wander down to her ass.
She's lost most of the baby weight already; only the soft curves from carrying Sam are left behind, and I fucking love it. Her tits are larger, even more than when she was pregnant since she's breastfeeding. What I want to do is whip the towel off my waist and rip her clothes off.
But we still have two weeks or more to wait before she goes back to the doctor.
Reluctantly, I pull away. "Baby, we need to stop."
"I don't want to," she says, her lips now attacking my neck.
"Christ," I growl, gripping her hips.
"Seeing you holding our baby, god, I just want to ..."
Her mouth is back on me, her tongue tangling with mine, and I'm just about to say to hell with what the doctor said and fuck my wife. But common sense prevails—barely—and I pull away.
"Stop, Bella. We can't. I don't want to hurt you."
She grips the edge of the towel and tugs me forward, making me stumble and fall into the goddamn bed.
"What are you—"
She catches me off guard and manages to get me onto my back, yanking at the knot of cotton at my waist and pulling the towel away from me.
"I want my husband. And if you're not going to do anything about it, I'm going to do it."
"Bella, we can't have sex yet." I struggle to sit up. "The doctor said—"
"I know what the doctor said." She slithers up my body, placing open mouthed kisses on my chest and neck, her lips finally brushing against my earlobe. "But this isn't about me. I want to do this for you. Let me."
Unable to argue with her, I lie there dumbfounded while her lips and tongue burn a trail down my body, her mouth finally reaching my cock. Even in the darkness, the faint light of the nightlight we have for the sake of being able to help Sam all night is enough to illuminate her features. And her eyes meet mine, practically fucking glowing in the dark as she takes me into her mouth.
My eyes roll back in my head as she licks and sucks. It's been too fucking long since I had anything more than my own hand wrapped around my dick, and the feel of her wet, warm mouth is almost too much. She pulls back, almost completely releasing me before taking me back in again. Sense finally returns and I look down, meeting her sharp gaze.
The hungry look in her eyes is almost my undoing.
She breathes heavily, taking me a little deeper into her mouth with every exhale, and when I'm almost at the back of her throat, she starts to tug at my balls.
"Bella, I—"
It's all the warning I can give her before I start to pulse in her mouth, a deep groan coming from my fucking toes as my orgasm ricochets through my body. It seems to go on forever, my eyes squeezing closed and my hands fisting the sheets.
It's almost embarrassing how quickly I've lost it, but I don't have it in me to care.
With tremors still racking my body, I concentrate on my breathing. My heart is pounding and my breaths are coming too fast. Meanwhile, Bella kisses her way back up my body, her lips finally making it to mine.
"How was that?"
A broken chuckle bubbles out of me. "Fucking fantastic." I kiss her, ignoring the taste of myself on her tongue. I brush her hair from her eyes. "Have I told you how amazing you are?"
She smiles. "You might have mentioned it a time or two."
"Yeah?"
"Uh huh."
"Then why don't you let me show you?"
Confusion covers her face until I grab her by her waist. "What are you—" She squeals as I turn her to her back and peel her shorts from her body.
I kiss my way down her chest, stopping to place wet kisses on the swells of her breasts and kiss down her stomach. When I reach the edge of her panties, I look up and grin. "Your turn."
