The food chiller on the Sterling Kestrel is a luxury you could definitely get used to. Tonight you are having real food, not some vacuum-sealed-freeze-dried bantha crap, and you are beyond thrilled. It isn't every evening a lady has the chance to eat a fire-cooked meal on an unpopulated planet under the stars. If the company was better you would almost consider it all to be very romantic. An image of your dearest friend flashes in your mind causing your chest to tighten. She was more of a sister than anything else and even though it felt like a lifetime since you were together, you missed your beroya every day. Losing her was the hardest thing you've ever gone through. If she were here right now, she would be giving you so much osik for thinking about romance on the job. A smile fills your lips at the thought.
Reclining on a row of crates placed in front of the fire, you stretch out and watch Mando turn the skewer to keep the food cooking evenly. The smell makes your mouth water and your stomach grumbles in anticipation. You pick up the bottle of spotchka from the crate next to you and notice no cups next to it. Shrugging, you take a swig straight from the source and give a satisfied "ah" when you finish. A chuckle rumbles out from the Mandalorian and you give him a bashful look while you raise the bottle in a mock toast.
"You've always acted like a pirate."
"I am a pirate, Mandalorian." You take another drink and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. "Do you think I just asked nicely for all your priceless beskar?"
He laughs again, "Taking back plundered goods isn't pirating."
You exhale loudly and imagine the thin line you walk between being a criminal and a hero as a Dark Jedi. Everyone seems to be a bit of both these days, Force-sensitive or not.
"How did you acquire all of it anyway?" He starts to pile food onto two plates, "Did you use the force?"
You start cackling so hard you feel tears form in your eyes, "Maker Mandalorian! That's not how the Force works!"
"I could toss your food into the fire right now you know."
You snatch the plate out of his hand, "Hunted it down piece by piece. Lots of stories there."
"Tell me. You've...changed quite a bit. I want to know what happened to you." He holds his plate, but obviously, doesn't start on his food.
"Aren't you going to go inside to eat?"
"I'll lift my helmet enough to take bites and you won't look at me. Then you can fill me in."
With a mouthful of food, you retort, "You think just because you are the Mand'alor you can tell me what to do?"
"Please."
You chew thoughtfully. It's an olive branch. He is trying to show you some trust, a lot of trust really, and you needed to reciprocate. You swallow before whispering, "Okay, I won't look."
"How did you know where to start searching? The pieces must have been scattered everywhere."
The hiss of a disengaging helmet lock makes your heart beat faster. You keep your eyes on your food as you reply, "I was in an underworld cantina on the surface of Galpos II when I accidentally met the leader of the beskar smuggling network. I mind probed him for information, stole two camtonos of beskar, and headed to Tython. Once I had the initial list of buyers and sellers I just tracked everyone down and took what they had. After I made it through the list, I had to rely on instinct and mind probes. The Force would usually steer me to some poor village being forced into slave labor and after freeing the people, it would turn out the warlord I took down had a personal collection of beskar. Sometimes they would end up having a secret connection to the smuggling ring which led me back to more buyers and sellers."
"So you did use the force."
"I did ninety percent of the work, the Force only guided me sometimes."
"I still don't understand why you did it."
"I thought having a purpose would be the path I needed to find balance. To right an atrocious wrong in the Universe and help anyone I could along the way. Seemed like something a Jedi would do. Besides, I've always been connected to Mandalorians and no matter what happened in the past, I believe beskar is meant to be with its rightful owners. I'd lost everything on Jedha to the Darkside, I had to change myself somehow."
Mando's voice comes out without the modulator and you can hear the emotion thick in it, "Everything?"
You freeze as you realize what you had just said, "Yes... my ship, my saber... you."
"You lost your laser sword? I wondered why you didn't carry it."
"I was in bad shape after the explosion. While I was knocked out with bacta, the di'kut who 'saved me' stole my lightsaber and traded it for spice. That's actually why I was on Galpos II. To look for it." You push the food around your plate as the memories fill you with anxiety.
"How did you know the person who saved you? You said they were connected to Crimson Dawn."
"He watched me grow up."
"Family friend?"
"Not exactly."
"Okay. Well, are you still looking for your lightsaber?"
You set down your plate, "I don't know where to begin searching. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack at this point. I sacrificed the lead I had on it for the first camtonos of beskar."
"I can help you." Mando takes the spotchka from the crate and you hear him take a sip.
"You could get killed."
Mando sets down the bottle, "Seems like you are the one I have to worry about."
The words hurt, but you don't let your face show it. You shrug and grab the bottle, "What happened with the other Mandalorians? You never told me."
"We went to Takodana. The Armorer from my old covert had become the Tribe Leader, which was lucky for me since she knew how special Grogu was. I told her I broke the Creed for him and tried to offer her the Darksaber. Apparently, your Tribe knew much more about Mandalorian history and filled her in on its significance because she refused to take it. She told me the Creed was never meant to hinder protecting a Foundling. The Tribe forgave me and they are still trying to convince me to consider stepping up as Mand'alor. I do honor the post in the Tribe now."
"Wow." You take a long drink, "Anything happen with Bo-Katan?"
"You assumed wrong on Jedha. The Tribe wanted to help her end Imperial occupation before taking her down. As far as I'm concerned she can have Mandalore, it's a wasteland anyway."
You laugh, "You are the Manda'lor but you won't claim Mandalore?"
"You're a Jedi with no laser sword."
"Touché."
"I am really sorry for what I did on Jedha." Mando grabs back the bottle, "I should have brought you. I regret it every day. I was so angry, I can't, I can't believe I left you."
"I know… So what went wrong on Mandalore? The Empire still has control of the system from what I've heard."
He takes a big gulp of liquor, "Bo-Katan refused our help."
"So you just gave up?"
"The Tribe successfully captured Mandallia after many months of fighting. Now, we are going to try to take Concordia to cut Imperial supply lines. Help the Night Owls from a distance. Hopefully, Bo-Katan will realize she needs the strength of the Tribe to win. I can deal with the politics later."
"You think she will try to take the Darksaber from you?"
"Probably, but if she doesn't win the saber in an honorable battle nobody will respect her claim to the throne. "
"Nobody should anyway. You are the rightful leader."
"I can't rule Mandalore."
"Why not? You're good at bossing people around."
He shakes his head and hands you a blanket. You take it gingerly, only just realizing you are shivering, "Thanks."
Mando nods and continues, "I can help you find your lightsaber. It's my fault you lost it."
"What if we made a deal? Sounds like you could use my help with the Empire. You help me find my saber and I'll help you fight for Mandalore's freedom."
"Can I trust you around my Tribe?"
"Does the Tribe not trust me?"
"Lika does. She did say you killed many Night Owls, but that they deserved what you gave them."
"I thought they did at the time."
"She wouldn't tell me about your past, but she seemed surprised you never told me much. You should know she didn't realize you were wanted by the Empire. The fob was for a Crimson Dawn bounty."
"I figured." You wrap the blanket tighter around your shoulders, "You never told me much either."
"There isn't much to tell. I was a mercenary once, mostly been a bounty hunter. You know what those jobs entail."
"Are you a Foundling?"
"Yes. Are you?"
"I am not Mandalorian."
"That's not an answer."
You suddenly feel trapped in a conversation you don't want to be in. The pressure of sharing your messy history makes you feel itchy in your skin. You bite your lip and think of how to explain your upbringing.
Mando speaks up again when you don't answer for several minutes, "When are you going to tell me the truth about your past? Why does Crimson Dawn have a bounty on you higher than the Imperial one?"
"You already saw my past. I have the scar to prove it." Moving your tunic down slightly, you reveal to him the long pink scar along your right clavicle.
Mando clumsily drops off his crate to kneel before you so he can be eye level with your chest. He slowly lifts his fingers to graze the mark left behind by the Darksaber. You lean away timidly and clench your eyes shut in a new-jerk reaction to his reach. He stiffens at your response and tackles you to the floor. You soften the fall with Force, but you don't try to resist him as he straddles your waist.
He firmly pinches your cheeks with one hand to force you to look at him, "I'm so sorry for lifting a weapon on you. For scarring you." His voice is so soft you barely hear it.
You stare into his vizor, "I don't know how to share with you who I really am, not after last time, but I can try. Slowly, if you can be patient."
Mando tilts his helmet as his gloved hand raises in an attempt to trace the scar again. This time you allow him to drag his leathered digit all the way across the scar spanning the length of your collarbone. You feel him inviting you into his thoughts and through the Force you meld your mind into his. He shows you the enormous amount of guilt weighing on his conscience because of his actions towards you. He shares the sadness he endures from losing you after Jedha, similar to the sadness of losing Grogu. His emotions go far beyond anything you could have ever imagined and the complexity of the attachment he feels for you is jarring. You sense the emotional turmoil festering in his heart over the confusing fusion of hatred and adoration he still feels for you. You recoil from his mind before you cross any more lines.
Mando lets go of your face, "I'm going to shower now."
"A cold one?" You give him a cheeky grin to lighten the intense experience you both shared.
He growls and pushes off you to head back inside. He didn't need to say anything, you knew everything you needed to know.
Mando'a Translations:
osik - shit
di'kut - idiot
beroya- bounty hunter
