Paz grunts as he sets down two cups of Mandalorian ale, spilling small bits of the liquor over the sides of the glasses and onto the table.
"Black ale?" You ask, settling into your chair and reaching for the alcohol.
"Your buirs teach you how to drink?"
You bring your cup back down to the table with an angry thud, "That topic is off-limits."
Paz sighs but he doesn't argue with you. Instead, he lifts off his helmet in one quick motion and sets the helm down next to his ale, the visor facing you tauntingly. You wish you could've stopped yourself from gasping, but you seem incapable of controlling anything about your face as your mouth hangs ajar, eyes wide with disbelief while you stare at the unmasked man before you. He has striking features: bright blue eyes, messy light-brown hair, and a strong jawline that would make most women swoon. His lips press together in a tight line as you study his face shamelessly.
"Enough staring," He says rather gruffly before picking up his drink and taking a long sip.
You don't stop, because you just... can't. You keep gaping at him as an unsettling concoction of confusing feelings fills your chest. He is extremely handsome, and you feel guilty for the way your heart flutters as his eyes pierce into yours. It's irksome that you could even dare to find him so beautiful with all this resentment you feel towards him and his entire House.
"How-"
Paz cuts you off, knowing exactly what you are about to ask, "28 years."
Nobody has ever had the pleasure of admiring his face for 28 years. It suddenly felt so disgustingly wrong for you to be gazing upon those cerulean eyes as his reluctant bride.
"You didn't need to take it off," you say, louder than you intended.
"You didn't need to marry me."
An awkward silence fills the room. You pick up your drink and chug all the sweet alcohol as fast as you can. The cup wobbles as you set it back down and Paz steadies it just before it tips over.
"I am not sleeping here," you announce as he pours you another round.
"That's fine, Mand'alor."
You flinch when he says the title, a pang of angry hurt hitting you in places you would rather it didn't. He watches you as you finish the second cup even quicker than the first.
"You never saw Djarin's face?" He asks brusquely while you drink.
"Why would you even ask that? You know I respect the Creed."
"Well, technically there is nothing in the Creed about being allowed to remove our helmet for our riduurs, so you aren't respecting it right now."
You drop your cup, the glass breaking as it makes contact with the floor. Paz's lips curl down into a frown as he moves out of his seat to begin cleaning up the mess. For some reason, you are unable to get any words out of your throat as you sit frozen in place, your thoughts churning violently. After a few minutes of even more uncomfortable silence, you leave his quarters, not bothering to say goodbye or explain where you plan on staying the night. It's all just too much right now. Dropping that bombshell about the Creed was the last straw. You need space away from everyone and everything. You need time away from being the Mand'alor. You need time away from being a Dark Jedi. You just need a damn break.
When you step outside, you look up at the moons coating the city in a pale white light. The bleakness of the color feels poetic as your burdened heart aches under the weight of the enormous responsibilities resting on your shoulders. You allow your feet to start taking you to wherever you need to be next, hoping that for once in your life your instincts will guide you to a place that could heal you instead of breaking you.
It isn't surprising that you end up standing in front of the Sterling Kestrel, your eyes tracing the outline of the ship you adore so much. You want to open the hatch and let yourself in, but you feel unsure of seeing Din right now. He pretty much ran off after the ceremony while Paz and you shut yourself into Paz's quarters to escape the crowd eagerly trying to congratulate the two of you. Being around Din might only serve to hurt you more right now, and it certainly wouldn't be great for him either. What type of a man says he kriffing loves you at such an inopportune moment anyway? Replaying the memory makes you angry all over again, and you squeeze your eyes shut to force the sound of Din's voice out of your head.
A tickle on the back of your neck tells you that someone has moved to loom silently behind you in your moment of distraction, so you whip around fiercely to see who it is. Ahsoka stands there, holding something in her hand that immediately sends a spike of irritation through you. You stare at the Sith holocron in her grasp, your eyes narrowing and lips pursing at the sight. She either stole it or Din gave it to her, but both those scenarios don't sit well with you.
"Come with me," she says, waving you towards her as she glides away from the ship.
You hesitate a moment, but decide that being with her is better than any of your other current alternatives. At least she wouldn't rip your heart out of your chest. You think. She leads you to her own ship, a small fighter vessel with barely enough space to accommodate two people. You sit stiffly in a passenger seat while Ahsoka hangs her cloak on the wall opposite of you. As you take in the space around you, you notice a lightsaber hilt on a shelf off to the side and you squint at the rare weapon in surprise.
"A friend's. He's been missing for quite some time," Ahsoka explains, noticing your confusion.
You nod and tear your eyes away from the hilt. It's not often more than one saber exists in the same room, let alone five.
"I wasn't trying to harm you, I just needed to get away as fast as I could," you offer to Ahsoka as you pick your nails nervously. It is the best apology she is going to hear from you, so you hope she accepts it and moves on.
"Perhaps if you had thought through the plan you wouldn't be laying claim to the throne of Mandalore," she shoots back at you, her voice smooth and calm.
You sneer at her, but you don't bother arguing as she settles into a seat across from you. The two of you stare at each other for a full minute, sizing the other up as tension collects in the air. It's the small chirp of some type of bird that makes you blink suddenly, causing you to search around for the source of the noise. A lovely white owlish creature appears out of nowhere and flies down towards Ahsoka's outstretched hand before cooing at you with wide, curious eyes.
"Uh, hello there," you greet the bird softly as you raise a finger to stroke its soft feathers. It exudes good energy, and it's hard to not immediately take a likening to the mysterious guest.
"Morai has a strong connection to the Force," Ahsoka explains as Morai puffs out her feather in content with your pets, "I believe she sees something in your future that we should discuss."
"The bird sees my future... Now, that's a bit much, even for you and your ultra spiritual Jedi ways," you say with a touch more sarcasm than necessary.
Morai chirps in disagreement with you and nips your finger as if to scold you for your doubt. You jerk your hand away from her and rub the skin she tore with her sharp little beak.
Ahsoka gives an airy laugh at her bird's antics, "I know you sense great obstacles in your future too. I can sense your awareness of the path being laid out before you. It's setting you on constant edge."
You tuck your arms into your robe and sigh defeatedly, "I dream about a choice I will have to make. It's hazy, unclear. And, Grogu reached out to me to warn me of the future, but I still don't understand what he meant. At first, I thought it was about the Darksaber, but now I think there is more to it all."
Morai coos at you again as Ahsoka studies your worried face. You can feel her prodding at your feelings and thoughts, trying to read your dreams better without you needing to explain them.
"Well, to help you I am going to destroy the holocron. It's too dangerous to keep around. The last thing you need is any more temptations," she says after a few moments.
Her unspoken message is as clear as Tython's night sky. She can sense all your turmoil about Din Djarin and your place as Mand'alor. As well as she reads you, you can invade her mind as well. She obviously strongly disapproves of any attachments, especially yours to the Mandalorian.
"It's not your place to interfere in my destiny," you point out heatedly.
"Maybe. Although Morai is the one who encouraged me to come here to help you and she is never wrong. Believe me, you will want her on your side when you need her most, so it is best to listen to our advice."
You huff in frustration at her cryptic words as Ahsoka places the holocron on a crate next to you. Morai squawks in annoyance at the sight of the Sith artifact and you shake your head at the insanity of the situation before you. You are actually listening to advice from a bird.
"I will leave this up to you then. You can keep that around and let it pull you back to who you were before, when you belonged to your Master. Or you can let me help you. The choice to be guided by the Lightside or the Darkside is yours, but you must realize the decision will affect the destiny of Mandalore should you take the easy way out."
You stare at the holocron. The easy way out. The fate of Mandalore. Destiny. The choice is yours. You are a sentinel of serenity. Not a Sith seeking power, which means she is right. The temptation is too much for you, especially when you are struggling with your internal balance already. Being a Dark Jedi doesn't mean you can always give in to the Darkside. You must find peace with both sides of the Force.
"Fine," you whisper. "Destroy it. But tell me more about this Force-sensitive owl and how she sees my future."
Ahsoka smiles at you for the first time ever, "I can only tell you that when the time comes, if you give yourself to the Lightside, no matter how much you won't want to, Morai will make sure that you will be alright, always."
"How will I know when the time is right?"
"You will know. Trust in the Force. Trust in yourself."
A week and a half later Ahsoka Tano stands by your side as the Mandalorian rebels win the war against the Empire. Ironically, you, the leader of Mandalore, cannot take credit for the successful siege of Sundari. In fact, it's Din Djarin who deserves most, if not all of it. He left Mandalore's system with no warning the day after your wedding to Paz, and when he came back two nights later, he had the strangest ragtag army you had ever seen trailing behind him. The range of "soldiers" went from Gungans, New Republic Officers, Twi'leks, and Sullustans, all the way to species you couldn't even identify. All of them showed up, willing to help because they owed Din favors from his days as a bounty hunter. Their firepower, resources, and support were just what the Mandalorians needed to win.
"I have never met a Mandalorian like him," Ahsoka says fondly as the Sterling Kestrel begins landing in front of the two of you.
You beam at his ship, your eyes glistening with pride and relief, "Me neither."
Ahsoka takes your hand in her own, forcing you to look into her sincere eyes, "I once knew a Jedi who looked at someone the same way you look at him. Their love almost split the galaxy apart at the seams."
You look back at Din, coming off his ship, heading straight towards you with an air of confidence that gives you butterflies. Ahsoka always has a way of telling you the exact truth you don't want to hear. By the time Din reaches you, Ahsoka has slipped off towards the chaotic city of Sundari so she can start helping injured rebels needing assistance.
"We did it," you smile at Din as he pulls you into a tight hug.
"You lead us to victory," he mumbles lowly as he lets you go much too soon.
"Without your friends, we wouldn't have won."
Din shrugs, brushing off your compliment, "I want to show you something on the Kestrel," he starts guiding you to the freighter insistently.
You follow him all the way into the cockpit and watch as he punches a few buttons on the dash excitedly before stepping aside so you could read the small console yourself. The ship's transponder showed your name as the owner of the ship.
"I.. Wha…" you stutter, looking back and forth from Din to the console.
"I promised you I would get you a ship after the war ended. I know you love the Kestrel and if anyone deserves to fly her, it's you. Just, please don't lightspeed skip with her."
You leap forward, wrapping your arms around Din and bonking your forehead into his helmet as lightly as you can. The widest smile you've ever experienced stretches across your lips, and as hard as you try to stop it, a stupid tear slides down your cheek. You caress your fingers on the dash behind Din while you hug him. Nobody in your entire life has ever done something so generous for you, especially not out of love or kindness.
"I don't know what to say, this is... I just... thank you! I don't even know if I can accept her though, this ship means everything to you! I know she's-"
"Not as important as your happiness," Din says with resolute finality. His helmet tilts to the side as his worn leather-covered thumb wipes another tear from under your eye.
Their love split the galaxy apart at the seams. Ahsoka's words send a dagger of ice through your stomach. You take a small step away from Din and his hand retracts to his side clumsily, as if he suddenly realized he was touching you without thinking.
"Thank you. This is incredibly generous. Thank you for remembering your promise," you say in a raspy hush as emotion tightens your throat.
He leans casually against the side of the cockpit, "Now that the planet is safe from the Empire, I plan on keeping my other promise to you as well."
You blush, immediately understanding his message. I won't stop fighting to get you back, even if I have to burn down Mandalore itself to succeed.
"Din, there is so much to be done still. Winning a war is one thing. Keeping the planet in one piece is going to be another."
"I hate to break it to you, but I don't think the Vizsla's plan on allowing you to run things around here."
Just as you are about to ask him what gave him that idea, the communicator on the dash begins beeping frantically, letting you know that a holo is being sent through. Din accepts the message without pause and Bo-Katan's helmet fills the flickering blue image on the console.
She freezes a moment too long before greeting you with an unpleasant tone, "Mand'alor. Din."
You swivel your head towards Din and raise your eyebrows at him. You suppose since he no longer can go by his old title, he had to have been getting on a first-name basis with his fellow vod. For some reason, the idea of Bo knowing his name sent waves of jealousy through you.
"What do you want?" You ask impatiently.
"The last Imperial ships have been destroyed. I will stay in orbit to make sure no reinforcements arrive, but the rest of the fleet will be landing for medical assistance and repairs. I am sure you will be holding an official ceremony tonight, but I will not be attending."
You chuckle sadistically at her, "Shame. I was planning on honoring you with jaig eyes for your heroic attempt to assassinate your king in the middle of a war."
You click off the holo before she can reply and stalk out of the cockpit, smiling at your witty remark. As you stride through the Sterling Kestrel, you feel Din following closely behind you. Your smirk fades as soon as you step outside and see all of House Vizsla waiting for you at the base of the loading ramp. Paz nods at Din as the other Vizslas give him warrior shakes and congratulatory claps on the back.
Paz and you barely speak these days, only keeping your conversations polite and short. After seeing his face, you couldn't bear to be alone with him. Luckily, the war kept you both occupied and in different places most days and nights.
"All the influential Houses are meeting in the capital building to discuss how we should move forward. It is best that you make a strong showing immediately. Leave no space for any disrespect," Paz says quietly to you.
"I want Din there."
All the Vizslas go silent as they turn to look at you through their black, emotionless visors. You stand a little taller as you stare right back at them.
"There is no political ground for Clan Mudhorn to stand on."
"Din won us the war and the Tribe from Takodana still considers him their leader, which I would think Paz would value deeply. Regardless, he will be there by my side. I trust him."
Din doesn't say anything, which you take as a good sign. If he didn't want the responsibility he would decline your request. Out of everyone here, he is the only person you can count on to make rational decisions about Mandalore's politics. He might be the only Mandalorian on the entire planet who isn't after power, and that makes him an invaluable resource to his people.
"It seems that your riduur has more loyalty to a bounty hunter than she does to you, Paz," one of the Vizslas growls as he shifts his helmet towards Din threateningly.
The snap of attention from Din kick starts your instinct to stand up to the Vizsla insulting your honor. You don't want Din picking a fight with the ruling House today. Fighting with your in-laws is better than risking a duel between Clan Mudhorn and Clan Vizsla. With a gust of confidence, you unleash the Darksaber from your side and point the heated ebon blade towards the helmet of the Vizsla who spoke.
"My loyalty lies first and foremost to the throne that your family helped secure for me. So I would advise you to think twice before insulting my honor again, vod. Lest you forget it is I who won the Darksaber in combat. Are you really willing to challenge a Dar'Jetti to a duel?" You push the tip of the saber into his helmet, forging a small indented mark on his otherwise spotless grey helm.
The Vizsla drops to his knee in a pathetic bow and you roll your eyes at his apparent weakness. The other Vizlsa's lower their helmets towards you respectfully and you raise your hood over your head before turning back towards Paz.
"Come now, riduur. It seems we have an entire government to reorganize."
"Gar serim," Paz says, his voice catching slightly when Din moves closer to your side.
You snort aloud as images of Paz being mauled by an actual Mudhorn pop into your head. Din didn't need to try very hard to allow you to see inside his mind anymore. As karked up as everything is, at least the two of you have found a sort of peace together that you haven't felt since before Jedha. Maybe not being able to be together is exactly what you needed to mend all the hurt between the two of you. Maybe losing each other is what had to happen for you both to realize that you needed each other. Maybe the Force actually does work in mysterious ways.
The Vizslas, Din, and you take speeder bikes through Sundari, heading straight for the capital building where you had once left Paz to bleed to death. It's heartbreaking to see all the destruction the war has left on the once-perfect city. Glass is shattered everywhere, blown-up buildings lay to ruin left and right, and fires burn in every street you pass. It is going to take a long time to rebuild the infrastructure of the planet. Not to mention the spirit of the Mandalorian people. Surprisingly, the capital building is in better shape than most, and you take a deep breath of amazement when you see the beautiful throne room once again. Without any hesitation, the Vizslas start ripping down the tattered Imperial and Death Watch flags, tossing them into a small fire they started in the middle of the room. Din and you walk up to the throne, and he chuckles as you seat yourself on the royal chair with a theatrical twirl. Paz joins the two of you only after every single last flag that once decorated the room has been disintegrated, his helmet tilted at the sight of you relaxing on the throne.
"Why was the Death Watch symbol flying here during Imperial rule?" You ask him nervously.
"After the Great Purge, the Empire wanted to use the symbol to remind Mandalorians that it was our own people who allowed them to rise to power within our once independent system."
You scowl at his answer as a surge of regret and guilt floods through you. If Death Watch still carries a terrible reputation this many years later, it is imperative that your past remain secret.
That darkness that you felt when you were in the underground tunnels is back again, but even more intoxicating as you sit in your newly acquired throne. The sensation reminds you of the high from illegal spice. It's like being completely aware of everything while being completely lost in all of time and space at the same time.
You shake your head to clear the nagging sensation, "Gather the Houses inside as soon as you can Paz."
"They are already on their way," he replies as he moves to stand next to you rigidly.
The kyber crystal in the Darksaber hums as a delicious taste of power fills your tongue, like a sweet sip of spotchka. This room, this throne, and this blade have seen terrible things, no, done terrible things. So why, just why, do you feel so seduced by the sensation you are getting as you sit in the seat once occupied by your fallen master?
