Chapter 3:
Day 9: Continued
After Sam departure, I really don't know what to do with myself. Maybe I should finally look through that large looming pile of mail, I have been voiding. I have put it off long enough.
Lets see what we have. An electric bill, a coupon and flyer for the Piggly Wiggly. An advertisement for a new restaurant in Shreveport. The coupon clipper and the Mortgage bill. At least I can pay that off now.
I wonder if they money that Eric gave me was his way to pay me off, like Bill tried to do when he left me for Lorena? No, I can't think like that. He didn't just give me some money. He gave me all his money and companies. He left himself with practically nothing. I wish I knew what he was thinking at the time. He didn't even say goodbye to me. I sigh.
Then I see it. A fancy envelope, with Eric's handwriting on it, sitting on top of the pile of mail. I pick it up carefully, as if it was a snake coiled and ready to strike. Was this Eric's goodbye to me? I open the envelope with a heavy heart.
Sookie,
I am sorry I was not able to say our goodbye in person. But I was forbidden to contact you by Felipe. He was having me followed and having my every minute accounted for. There is much, I wished I said to you, while I still had the chance.
We never did have our talk. I know you feel that I have wronged you in the past and been high handed over the course of our relationship. However I did these things to protect you in my own way. I want to address a few of them from my point of view, since we never had a chance to clear the air and discuss them between us.
When I tricked you into taking my blood, I suspected that Bill was trying to turn you into his thrall. He wanted you to be at his beck and call, to take away your free will. Because you couldn't be glamoured. I didn't want that for you. I enjoyed your fire and tenacity to much to allow that to happen. I could not stand to see you lose it, to the likes of Bill Compton. I knew giving you even a small amount of my blood, would help to break the blood spell you were under. I was hoping it would give you enough of an opening, to see for yourself, what Bill was up to and his true colors. The increased attraction was just an added bonus for me, as far as I was concerned. I also longed to be able to feel you. You are such an interesting and amazing creature Sookie. You were like a puzzle I had no chance of ever figuring out. I wanted to feel your emotions, to help me understand you. I also felt the needed to be able to sense if you were in danger. Since Bill, epically failed to keeping you safe at every turn. I realize now that this made you question your feelings for me, but I felt it was necessary to save you from Bill's clutches.
When I awoke from my curse, I was confused as to why I was at your house. You avoided me in the past and acted as if you didn't care for me. You always said in your most colorful ways, that you weren't interested. But I could smell myself all over you and your house. I did not know what to make of it. Pam told me what she knew about my missing time. But it left alot of answered questions. I couldn't see how we could have grown so close, in such a short period of time. I thought she was mistaken. I am sorry for my harsh words and leering at you, after I woke for the night. I did not know what had passed between us. But I had a strong inkling that something had happened. I felt leery of the new emotions you brought out in me and thought it best to ignore them .
When I started to grow more curious about my feelings for you, I asked you about what happened between us. But you would never tell me. Maybe you thought I would not believe you? I was unsure of your reasons. So when you asked me for help, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to get the information, you had been with holding from me. I was shocked by what you said transpired. I did not know how to react to the information. So I went to an old standard. Scare them. I see now how wrong my reaction was. And yet somehow you forgave me.
In regards to our marriage, I took the knife with me when we slide down the side of the hotel at Rhodes. It was the only item I took, besides you and Pam. I did this because I knew even then, I wanted you to be my wife. I did not know why I wanted this, but took the knife with me anyway on instinct. I did not think you would accept my proposal, even for your own protection. So I tricked you into it. For this I am sorry. I see now that if I would have simply asked you marry me and told you why I wanted you to be my wife, then you would have accepted our marriage and me. It was my high handedness and bucking of your Human traditions, that angered you into not accepting our marriage.
I don't know why, you stopped me that one night from telling you how I felt about you. But I must tell you now. I have never felt, what I feel for you, with anyone else. I did not even have such feelings for my human wife. For me you were the one. My Valkyrie. My light in the dark. I knew, I should have told you before, but I was worried about you running from me. Looking back on things now, I see how many mistakes I made with you.
After planning our battle with Victor together, I realize that I could have included you in many of my other plans, for the things we faced together in the future. You could handle it. Instead of me throwing you blind into situations, with little information, to understand what was going. I now know doing so, made it harder to protect yourself, rather than easing you fears.
I should have told you about the contract and Fredya. But once I read it, I did not think it would be possible to break it, even though I still held hoped I would find a way. So I decided to spend as much time with you as possible, just in case I could not find a way out of it. I knew without a way out, I would need to draw on the memories of our time together, to get me through the hard times to come. But I realize now that I should have told you. We could have worked on it together and possibly found a way to end the contract. But I was concerned that you would run from me, the moment you heard about the contract. I wanted to spend as much of the time I had left with you, in peace. I did not want to tant it with fights between us. But now I know, I should have told you. Pam should not have had to go against me, to tell you. For that I am sorry. I just didn't want us to end.
The day you ended the bond was the worse day of my life. At first I was devastated thinking that I had lost you to your human death. But to find out you removed the bond on purpose, because you did not trust your feelings for me, that was even more painful. You broke my heart. I miss our bond every day. But since I was forced to marry another, it is most likely for the best. I would not want burden you with my sorrow and turmoil through the bond. Although feeling your life force, knowing that you were still alive and well would have given me a lot of peace.
The time I spent with you while I was curse was the happiest time of my life. I had hoped when we married, we would live together again, like we did during that time. I loved rising for the night to find you waiting for me and hearing about your day. I remember how we would talk and make love. I felt so happy and complete. The truth of the matter is, I would have gladly given it all up for you. Being sheriff meant nothing to me, it was just something I did to fill the boredom in my life, before you entered it. It was also a way to keep me in the loop on political on goings, to protect me and mine. I wanted to quit and move in with you, but I knew I would need my position to protect you. If I was not Sheriff, anyone could have taken you from me and I would not have the power or reinforcements to assist me.
I had my lawyers looking over the contract for months, looking for a loop hole I could use. The only ones they were able to find, were if I made you vampire. Than the contract would be voided, since you would have the same rights as another Vampire in a court. I was tempted to do so, the night of the battle with Victor. I just had to keep you with me. But Bill was actually correct for once. It was not right for me to force this choice upon you. Even though I would like nothing better, then to keep you with me for eternity. The choice must be yours and I know you never wanted to be vampire.
The other choice would be to become King. As King I could void the contract. But with Felipe having 3 states worth of Vampires, I would need to amass quite an army to overtake him. After dealing with Victor and the repercussions of his death, there was not enough time for me to do so. My every move was being watched closely by Felipe and Fredya.
The penalty for not following through with the contract was final death and all my assets would become property of the Felipe and Fredya. Even as my wife, you are still a human in the eyes of vampire law and are considered an asset. I could not allow for you to be passed to either of them, after my death. I was able to work into the contract that you would not be passed to any vampires, unless you choose it, when our marriage was voided. Felipe seems to be under the misconception that you would choose to be Bill's or his, of your own free will. Most likely Felipe got this idea from Bill himself.
The only other way for me to get out of the contract was if Fredya dies. But the contract states that it cannot be done my hand, by someone I hired or trade favors for. Once again the penalty for this would be final death. The contract also states that Pam must come with me and all Area 5 vampires, except Bill are not allowed near you. Unfortunately Pam is forbidden to contact you, after she calls to inform you I have remarried. Felipe and Fredya wanted you to know as soon as it happens. Fredya is under the misconception that if she marries me, she will get you as well. She thinks you would be willing to follow me to Oklahoma and be my mistress. She thinks she is going to be getting not only me, but my money, my power and a Telepath as well out of this deal. But she is wrong. Fredya is a harsh and bitter Queen, if you follow me all you will find are death and pain. It is better for you to stay were you are. I know you would never be willing to be my mistress and I wouldn't want you to degrade yourself by doing so. You are my chosen wife, not my mistress.
If you find yourself in trouble, I called in my favor with Thaila. She will assist you if needed. But only use this favor if you have no other choices. Since it would put you both in danger and the favor is only good for one time. I have enclosed her number to an untraceable phone she uses. Only contact her in this manner. The phones at Fangtasia are tapped by the King.
I also must warn you of the requests I have received, over the years for your services. I have received many requests from vampires to taste you, bed you and to use you for your Telepathy. So if you must run, go to Stan Davis. He is the most trust worthy of the American Vampire monarchs or at least as trust worthy as any vampire can be. If you agree to work for him, he will respect you choice to not be bitten or bedded by vampires. But you would have to work for him and take his blood, so he can find you if you are kidnapped. I have called in favors with him and he will protect you and hide you, if you need to run.
You also need to be aware of requests I have received from other Sups groups. The requests were from the Long tooth pack, other were packs from around the country, Sam and the Fairies. They all wish to use you for breeding purposes. I don't know if Mr Cataliades has spoken to you yet, but there are things you can do to protect yourself. Speak with him, Lover. I trust him and so did your Grandfather Fintan. He will point you in the right direction.
Finally I know you are wondering about the money and assets I left you. I know you most likely think I am trying to buy you off, like Bill tried to do. But that is not the case. I know you that you did not recognize our marriage, due to not knowing you were marrying me at the time. Nor did I ask you properly according to your human customs. But to me you are my true wife. I choose you. Not for money or rank or because of a contract. I choose you for you. As your husband is it my duty to care for you. I know you must think this is high handed of me. But now you have the money to move somewhere safer, go on the run, hire body guards, hire witches for protection spells or hire an army if need be.
Another reason I left you the money, is because I don't want Fredya to have it. She is forcing this contract on me because she wants my money, my power, my clout, my favors, my fighting ability and arm candy for her bed. I want her to gain as little as possible out of this contract, for what she has done to us. She put this into motion, because she wants to take over other kingdoms. She thinks many will be afraid to attack her or fight her, with me by her side. I might be force to marry her, but I will not help her or defend her in any way. I will not waste my money, my clout or favors on her. I will only do what I have to, to forefill the minium requirements of the contract. I will do so to guarantee your safety, Pam's safety, as well as mine own. That means if someone attacks her I will not defend her, nor am I require to by the contract. I only, cannot kill her myself or hire or order someone to kill her.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I cannot go to my final death leaving you behind, with so many enemies after you. I might not be able to do much to help you now. But at least with me still among the undead, I can call in my favors to help you, if need be. This would not happen if I met the true death. Per Vampire custom, my favors die with me. If you need to contact me, you can reach me through Mr Cataliades. Fredya cannot deny me, an audience with my lawyer.
I love and want only you. You are my one and only true wife. Fredya is nothing more that a contractual obligation, I must forfill to keep my undead life.
Stay safe Lover and trust no one.
Eric
By the time I finish reading the letter I am bawling my eyes out in tears. He really did love me as much I loved him. I clutch his letter to my chest, sobbing. Why did I waste so much time pushing him away? We could have been truly happy.
I walk down the hall still clutching the letter to my chest. I crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep, holding on to his letter for dear life.
