4. Pets and Beasts (Sirius)
Sirius carefully made his way through the dark room; steering around various items scattered on the floor, as he passed by the closed velvet curtains around his friends' beds. The heavy breathing and light snoring indicated James, Remus and Peter were still asleep. Quietly, Sirius opened the door and snuck out into the corridor.
There were two other tired-looking Gryffindors in the shower room. They all greeted each other with a nod - no one really felt like talking - before Sirius stripped and got in the shower. The hot water warming him up made him feel a little better about being out of bed, even though it couldn't entirely replace the soft covers he'd been under a couple of minutes ago.
Alone with his thoughts, Sirius started brooding about Voldemort again. The subject was often in the back of his mind, and had become a constant reason to stress in his life. Except trying to take over the world, Voldemort had made Sirius' family situation tougher than ever. He and his parents' relationship had always been shaky, littered with arguments and disappointed looks. He was the black sheep of the family (pun kinda intended), who opposed basically everything his parents thought and did. It was nothing he did out of spite, but because their opinions and actions were simply wrong: Pure-boods weren't better than anybody else, Slytherins weren't better than anybody else, and children shouldn't blindly obey they parents.
In return, his parents had treated their disrespectful, disobedient disgrace of a son as shit for his whole life. His presence annoyed them, but at the same time, that didn't stop them from trying to control everything in his life. They demanded the right to decide what he could and couldn't do, how he should and shouldn't actact, and who he was allowed socialise with. They would have loved to control his thoughts too, when they were at it, but to their huge disappointment they hadn't been able to. His childhood had been far from ideal. Unloved, and with no friends.
With the rise of Voldemort, so had the discussion about 'the Dark Lord' around the dinner table. Sirius' family's opinions had always annoyed him, but it was at that point he had realized exactly how dangerous such opinions were. Sirius had never worried his parents would actually try to take such extreme measures as murder to create the world they wanted. They were content complaining about it without lifting a finger to do something. Although Sirius didn't admire their laziness, it was comforting to know his parents wouldn't cause any harm (at least not in a major way). But it had turned out they were extremely prepared to stand behind someone who did get off his arse to find a violent solution to their made-up problems.
As the world around them got terrified, Sirius' parents and brother eagerly discussed the Death Eater's progress between bites of food, and praised Voldemort's successes over their morning coffee. Finally, something was happening. Finally, the world was heading in the right direction. Sirius' parents were so proud that Regulus had ambitions to become a Death Eater.
Regulus was definitely the worst part of the whole ordeal. It made Sirius a bit sick to think that his little brother wanted to become that. He couldn't be mad at Regulus, though. Regulus was just a 15 year old boy, corrupted by their stupid family. Sirius could thank his lucky stars (pun definitely intended) he'd been spared.
Sirius almost dropped the shower head on the white tile below, when it hit him. What if he could use his family situation to his advantage? The Ministry and the Order of the Phoenix were in need of all the help they could get, and Sirius was sitting on a gold mine.
If Voldemort had spies, why couldn't Dumbledore have as well? As a part of the Black family, Sirius would have a much easier time getting into Voldemort's circles than anyone else. He had loads of connections, and could go undercover as a Voldemort supporter. He could actually do something to fight Voldemort.
The question was how the hell he would convince his family he suddenly had switched side.
After Sirius got out of the shower and dressed himself, he met James and Peter outside the dormitory.
"Is Remus still sleeping?" Sirius asked.
James nodded in response. "We'll go without him."
Remus always became exhausted a couple of days before the full moon. His senses heightened along with the growing fatigue, which Sirius took as a sign the wolf had already started to take over. The wolf probably drained him of all energy since it was needed for the transformation. Those days, Sirius, James and Peter simply let him sleep a lot and tried to assist him in any way they could.
When they returned after breakfast, Remus was still sound asleep in his bead.
"Hey, werewolf," said Sirius, where he was standing next to the sleeping Remus. "Time to get up." He grabbed Remus by the shoulder and gave him a gentle shake.
Remus stirred.
Sirius gave it a second try. "Remus, you gotta get up."
"I don't need breakfast," Remus mumbled into his pillow. "Just go without me."
"Already did," Sirius informed him.
"We brought you some food," James chimed in, where he was standing by the bedside.
"Transfiguration starts in five minutes."
With a unhappy groan, Remus slowly turned around on his back and looked up at his friends.
"Would you rather skip class?" James wondered, leaning in over the bed.
"No, no. I'm coming," Remus signed, holding back a yawn. He managed to get up in a sitting position, and shuffled to the end of the bed, where he remained seated.
James dropped the napkin with food they'd brought with them in Remus' lap. Sirius shifted his weight to sit crossed legged on top of the covers, as Peter settled himself next to them. Remus unfolded the fabric and drowsily started to stuff food into his mouth. James left the three of them and moved around the room; putting the books necessary for today's lessons inside his bag. No one really talked much.
After Remus hastily dressed, Sirius, James and Remus left the Gryffindor Tower and made their way to the Transfiguration classroom. The corridor was empty when they got there, and Professor McGonagall's faint voice sounded on the other side of the closed wooden door. Trying to be as quiet as possible, James opened the door and the three of them snuck inside the classroom.
Professor McGonagall's gaze automatically turned to them when they entered, but she didn't let herself get interrupted, and carried on with her briefing without verbally acknowledging their presence. The class shot looks at Sirius, James and Remus as they sunk down in seats next to the door.
"Now," said Professor McGonagall, after wrapping up the day's lecture. "I want you all to perform the multiplying spell. I will walk around the classroom to observe your work."
Sirius brought out his wand when Professor McGonagall walked passed his desk and handed him a button. With a confident flick, he immediately had two buttons lying on his desk. James managed just as easily. They had all practiced during the weekend, and it hadn't taken long for James to get it right. By Sunday evening, Remus had also been pretty good at it, but now, where he was was leaning against the wall, he didn't seem very aware of his surroundings, and still hadn't managed to multiply the button when Professor McGonagall stopped in front of them.
"Very good, Mr Black and Mr Potter." Even though it was a compliment, her voice sounded stern.
Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Remus sit up straighter.
Sirius peeked up at her. "Thank you, Professor."
Professor McGonagall swept her eyes over the three of them. "I want to see all of you after class."
Sirius shared a quick glance with James. Professor McGonagall was probably gonna scold them about being late. Although, she usually gave Remus a pass this close to the full moon.
"We're sorry we were late, Professor," said James.
"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "We had some complications with our... dog." He grinned up at her.
Professor McGonagall, not looking very impressed with his inside joke, turned her attention to Remus. "Was there a serious complication?" Her voice had lost a bit of its edge.
Sirius spotted Lily turning around and shooting them a confused look. She probably wondered why Professor McGonagall was involved in their pet-problems. Sirius couldn't fight a smile, and looked down at the desk to hide it. Being a werewolf teared at Remus, but it did come with some perks as well. It was exciting to have such a big secret, and cryptically talking about it in public cracked Sirius up.
"No," Remus, now looking more awake, assured her. "Just the usual."
"He was only tired," James added.
Professor McGonagall gave a short nodd. "I still want to see you after class. A sick pet is not an excuse."
Her voice got harsh again, but Sirius assumed she didn't actually mean that last part, since their particular pet actually was excused.
"Okay, Professor," said James.
Professor McGonagall's eyes turned to the single button in front of Remus. "Mr Lupin, go ahead," she said, with a little nod of the head.
Remus raised his wand. "Plicamini."
Immediately, the button turned into two.
"Very good, Mr Lupin." Professor McGonagall gave a pleased-looking Remus a small smile, before turning around and walking away from them.
When the lesson was over, Sirius, James, and Remus remained seated as the rest of the class flooded through the doors.
"Hey, Lily," James called out as Lily passed. She turned her head, and, to Sirius surprise, it almost looked as she was about to stop. She seemed to think better of it, however, and left the classroom after a ironic raise of her eyebrows.
"Mr Black, Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall's clear voice caught their attention. She was walking along the aisle in the empty classroom, collecting buttons from the desks "I want to talk to you. Sirius gave Remus a confused look, wondering what he was doing there, then, but Professor McGonagall cut in before he could ask.
"Mr Lupin is only here to throw off suspicion. He has my permission to be late to class."
Sirius turned to look at Professor McGonagall, who had stopped in front of them again.
"You two do not have a chronic condition to excuse such behaviour."
"Professor, they were helping me," Remus protested.
"And that is very kind. But it is bad enough that you miss class, Mr Lupin." Professor McGonagall quietly observed them for a moment. "I won't take away any house point this time," she finally said. "But if it happens again, I will."
Sirius, James and Remus met up with Peter outside the Charms classroom, where they settled themselves on the floor.
"You don't have a dog."
Sirius jerked when Lily's hostile voice interrupted their conversation, and he, James, Remus and Peter all turned up their heads to look at her. Lily and her friends were standing pretty close, and now she leaned over them.
"Huh?"
Sirius couldn't help but smile at James startled expression. He was probably amazed she was even talking to him.
"You don't have a dog," she repeated.
Next to Sirius, Remus tensed up. Even though Lily wouldn't possibly come to the conclusion that Remus was a werewolf, this was close enough for him. Peter looked confused as his eyes shifted between James and Lily. Thankfully, he didn't say anything.
Sirius turned back to Lily. "So? Why do you care?" he said dismissively.
"Professor McGonagall sure seemed to do so," she answered, with a little jerk of her head.
"And that means you should?" Sirius countered snidely.
James made a sudden movement, as if he wanted to stop Sirius from being disrespectful towards his crush.
"Well, why did she let you off the hook?"
"Maybe we aren't the only ones who care about the dog." Sirius grinned up at Lily, who pursed her lips.
"You just said you didn't have a dog."
"I never said that."
Lily paused for a moment, and seemed to decide it wasn't worth pushing the pointless argument. "Dogs aren't even allowed at Hogwarts."
"I have a dog at home," James cut in. He sat up straighter and unconsciously ran his finger though the already messy black hair. "He's just a little sick, that's all."
"Gets sick pretty regularly actually," Sirius added, and immediately got a sharp jab in the side from Remus.
If Remus wanted to avoid suspicion, maybe he shouldn't draw extra attention to Sirius' werewolf-remarks.
Lily didn't seem to notice, though."So Professor McGonagall was okay with you being late to class because you have a sick dog at home?" She still sounded suspicious.
"Who said she was okay with it? She kept us after class didn't she?"
"Look, Lily," Remus chimed in with a lacklustre voice. "We were late, and Professor McGonagall took care of it. That's it. End of story. You shouldn't listen to everything Sirius says."
"Eeeey," Sirius offendedly exclaimed, as Lily's annoyed look turned to Remus.
Even though Remus had nothing to do with the Snivellus-thing, she still seemed to dislike him as much as she did Sirius and James. Perhaps it was because of his mere association with the two of them.
Lily didn't say anything else, but instead turned back to her friends. Peter leaned in closer to James and whisperingly asked what they were talking about.
Tiny Professor Flitwick came walking down the corridor. He opened the door to the classroom, and the Gryffindors started making their way inside. Sirius put his hands on the cold stone floor to steady himself, as he shifted his weight to the feet and stood up. James, Remus and Peter joined him.
"I think your dog wants to keep a lower profile," Remus informed them, as they followed the class through the open door.
After the Charms lesson, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter headed for the Great Hall to eat lunch. They were walking down a corridor on the second floor when Sirius spotted Regulus. The short, neatly cut black hair and green tie proved Regulus was the one following in mummy and daddy's footsteps.
Sirius and Regulus usually ignored each other these days. They had been good friends when they were kids, before their friendship slowly but surely fell apart. They never really had any arguments, but instead they chose to solve their disagreeing with silence.
But it was not going to stay that way.
How come he hadn't thought of it immediately? If he could get close to Regulus again, he could convince Regulus he had changed, and shared his disgusting values. From there, he could convince the rest of their family as well, and make his way into Voldemort's circles. It would have to be a slow process, but it was the best he'd got.
"Regulus!"
Regulus' dark eyes shot up, and immediately turned suspicious as he watched Sirius walk towards him. James, Remus and Peter went completely quiet behind Sirius. They probably wondered what the hell he was doing.
Regulus wasn't alone, but accompanied by two other Slytherins who looked all but welcoming when Sirius stopped in front of his brother.
"Sirius," said Regulus in a belligerent voice, while his friends condescendingly stared Sirius down.
Having a plan before rushing up to Regulus would have been a good idea.
"How are you?"
Regulus' eyes shifted from hostile to rather baffled, before narrowing again. "Fine…"
"What do you want, Gryffindor?" The Slytherin on Regulus' left interrupted, taking a step forward.
Sirius looked at him brashly. "Am I talking to you?"
On the offence, the guy raised his eyebrows, and opened his mouth to say something, but Regulus beat him to it.
"Sirius, what do you want?" Regulus sounded more tired than anything else. Like he couldn't be bothered.
"I just wanted to talk to you. Is that a crime?"
Regulus was quiet for a moment. He seemed to have trouble deciding if he were to be hostile or confused.
"No," he finally said. "But I need to get going. Bye."
There was a final tone in his voice, and Sirius stayed put as his brother and the two other Slytherin boys turned around and kept walking along the corridor.
"What the fuck, Padfoot."
James, Remus and Peter had joined Sirius. Their expressions ranged from puzzled to disbelieving.
"What was that about?" asked James.
Sirius shrugged. "Nothing."
"Didn't look like nothing," Remus remarked.
"What did you talk about?" Peter asked.
"I just wanted to say hi to my brother, okay?" Sirius irritatedly exclaimed, while defensively raising his hands.
"Okay," James hasily backed down. "Let's go grab some lunch shall we?"
They all hummed in agreement before starting to walk down the corridor in silence.
"How are things at home, Sirius?" said Remus, sounding concerned, as they stepped down the marble staircase.
"Fantastic."
"Seriously.".
Sirius gave a low-spirited sigh. "As usual. Everyone hates me and wants muggles to die."
"What about your brother?"
They had reached the Great Hall, which was filled with chattering students. The delicious smell of meat stew and freshly baked bread filled Sirius' nostrils.
Sirius lowered his voice before he spoke, even though no one could possibly overhear them in the noisy hall. "He wants to become a Death Eater."
James and Remus made a sudden halt, but quickly came to their senses and kept walking.
"Like…" said James slowly. "Does he literally want to become a Death Eater, or are you exaggerating?"
"Literally," Sirius answered bitterly, as they seated themselves at the Gryffindor table.
"Shit," said Remus.
Sirius gave them a joyless grin. "Yeah."
"Since when?" James asked.
"He started to talk about it this summer."
"But he hasn't joined the Death Eaters yet?" Peter wondered, with big eyes.
"No. Even my parents think he's too young. But they are very supportive of him doing it eventually."
"But your parents aren't thinking of-"
"No. I think they feel very comfortable letting other people do the dirty work," said Sirius sardonically.
"And that includes their son?" Remus looked at Sirius disbelievingly.
"Okay, they don't consider it dirty work," Sirius corrected himself. "They are just not much for legwork themselves. But they admire people who are - like my brother. "
Sirius served himself some stew, and they all chewed in silence for a while.
"So why did you want to talk to Regulus?" Remus asked.
Sirius looked up at his friends. His half-assed plan seemed a bit ridiculous, and it would be kind of embarrassing to share it. Remus wouldn't be very impressed either, thinking it was a stupid idea.
"I just…" Sirius started. He shifted his weight to lean against the elbow he'd rested on the table, and let his hand sweep over the back of his neck. "I thought it might not be too late for him. Maybe he could still change for the better, you know."
As he uttered those words, Sirius realized they weren't a lie. Well, it was, considering that hadn't been the reason he'd talked to Regulus, but Sirius did wish his brother could be saved from their family's claws.
The others mumbled agreeingly.
"So how have you been handling it?"
Sirius steered around in the stew on his plate with the golden spoon.
"Well, staying with James for the most part of the summer helped," he said thoughtfully. "I do argue with them at home. But after a while it just drains you, so I kind of give up."
There had been a lot of screaming, when Sirius tried to put up against them, and the occasional curse thrown his way when his parents considered him too disrespectful. But arguing against them never worked, since they weren't interested in anything he was saying. His family didn't want to be convinced by anything except what they already believed in. In the end, it was easier to stay quiet. That way he could sneak away from the dinner table eventually, without having to be lectured and yelled at.
"I get that." James looked at Sirius sympathetically.
Sirius turned his gaze to the mess of sauce, lettuce and pieces of potato he'd made on his plate. "Yeah."
He had wanted to talk about it with James during the summer, but it had been so much easier having a good time with his friend, than brooding and reminding himself about his problems. But of course, James, Remus and Peter all knew about Sirius' tricky family situation, since he openly bashed about it, and took every opportunity to stay away from home.
Sirius looked out over the Great Hall, and searched for his brother among the Slytherins across the room. He found him sitting next to the two friends from the corridor, happily babbling away. Just a couple of seats away was Snivellus. Regulus and him weren't friends, as far as Sirius knew. But that was just a coincidence. It was not because his brother actively had rejected the greasy company, but because the two of them just hadn't had the pleasure. They were in different years, and had simply bumped into other people instead of each other.
But that was just a coincidence. They could easily have been friends.
His brother and the Snake.
Author's note
jane turnleaf - thank you for your comment! It made me really happy, and motivates me to keep writing!
