5. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs (James)
A soft buzz filled the common room, which was full of Gryffindors; studying or just hanging out. There was hardly enough furniture for everyone, thus some people were sitting in groups on the floor.
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had managed to snatch a couch and two armchairs close to the fireplace, from which, orange flames emitted a cozy heat. James was sitting at the end of the sofa, with the sleeping Remus' legs lying over his lap. Sirius and Peter, occupying the armchairs, were eating Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from a big box they kept passing back and forth.
James couldn't help but once again glance at Lily across the room. Sitting on the floor, her back leaned against the scarlet wall, she was happily chatting with her friends. She hadn't said anything to him since their conversation about Remus (or a dog, as Lily though) on Monday. But Remus had been right, that night on the roof; she'd talked to him again. Although, maybe that had been the last time.
Remus stirred in his sleep, and James shot him a glance. His skin looked even paler than when they'd settled themselves down about an hour ago. It was good he'd been able to fall asleep, since he always worked himself up before a transformation. Filled with anxiety about the upcoming pain and the mere fact of being replaced by a vicious wolf, he had a hard time relaxing.
"Maybe we should get going?"
James turned to look at Sirius, who gave a meaningful nod in Remus' direction.
"Yeah," James and Peter agreed.
"I'll get the cloak," Sirius informed them, as he stood up. "Wake him up, will you?"
It didn't take more than a second after Sirius left before a fifth-year settled herself in the now empty armchair.
"Hey, Remus." James took a hold of Remus' legs and gave them a light push to make them leave his lap.
Peter stood up as well, before sinking down on his knees in front of Remus and jerking him awake. Dazed, Remus got into a somewhat sitting position, and curled up in the sofa.
"What time is it?" Remus mumbled.
"Around half past seven."
Remus clenched his jaw and gave a hard-set nod, as he sat up straighter. James shot him a sympathetic look.
When Sirius came back, hiding the invisibility cloak under his robes, the four of them left through the portrait hole. James caught a glance of Lily, and he could have swore she was looking in their direction.
They stopped in an empty corridor outside the Gryffindor Tower, where Peter transformed into a rat. James leaned down and held out his hand, and Peter skitterd up his arm and settled himself on James' shoulder. It was much more practical to move around under the invisibility cloak with Peter in animagus-form, since he was such a tiny animal. Sirius dug out the cloak and threw it over himself, James and Peter. The soft, surprisingly heavy fabric covered James from head to toe. James could see Remus next to them through the dark film covering his eyes.
They started to walk in silence, and soon reached Professor McGonagall's office. Remus shot a look behind him, missing James, Sirius and Peter by an inch, before turning around and giving the solid wooden door a sharp knock. Professor McGonagall quickly opened it.
"Good evening, Mr Lupin."
"Good evening Professor," Remus mumbled; his gaze fixed on her shoulder, instead of looking her in the eyes.
"Let's go, shall we?" Her hand did a sweeping motion towards the empty corridor.
Remus gave a short nod, as Professor McGonagall stept out of her office along with Madam Pomfrey. James and Sirius, with Peter still on James' shoulder, followed them through the castle's corridors, down the marble staircase, and across the grounds. Sick- and pale-looking, Remus stayed quiet, as he let his eyes worriedly sweep over his surroundings. Madam Pomfrey and McGonagall let him be, as they quietly chatted with each other.
The tunnel which lead to the Shrieking Shack was hidden at the base of the Whomping Willow - a vicious tree eger to thomp down anyone who came too close. It had been planted for Remus' sake. This way no one else would find the passegeway. Professor McGonagall bewitched a branch to levitate, and made it press the knot on the Willow which made the tree temporarily go still. The six of them made their way into the tunnel.
Inside the Shrieking Shack, James, Sirius and Peter pressed themselves into a corner, where Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey, hopefully, wouldn't stumble upon them. Remus seated himself on the dusty bed. Distant looking, he stared at the empty wall in front of him while Madam Pomfrey checked his pulse and body temperature to make sure everything was normal. That was, normal for a werewolf about to transform. Apparently, Remus' pulse and body temperature both skyrocketed soon before he turned.
"Everything looks good," Madam Pomfrey calmly concluded when she was done. "Would you like something, dear? A glass of water perhaps?"
Remus shook his head, looking like he struggled to keep what was already inside of his stomach.
"Then we'll leave you," said Professor McGonagall.
Remus nodded stiffly.
"I'll come and get you tomorrow morning," Madam Pomfrey reminded him softly.
As soon as the two women left, James grabbed hold of the invisibility cloak to reveal himself, Sirius and Peter. Remus hardly looked at them. With the help of his wand, James loosened one of the floor planks and hid the cloak underneath.
On the bed, Remus had started to remove the layers of clothes, which landed in a messy pile on the floor. Remus grabbed one of the blankets on the bed and wrapped himself up in it before removing his underwear as well. With one hand firmly gripping the fabric, Remus rose and bought the clothes with him to the open floor plank, where he dropped them. James fastened the plank again. Now the cloak and Remus' clothes were out of harm's way.
Remus retook his position on the bed, cowering as he grasped the edge of the blanket. Peter quickly made his way over the floor to sit next to Remus.
James took a hesitant step towards the Shack's entrance. "Remus, are you sure we shouldn't…?"
"No," Remus responded in a low voice. "I'll stay here tonight. Like I'm supposed to."
During the second half of their last year, James, Sirius and Peter and started to sneak a turned Remus out of the Shrieking Shack. They had done it because it seemed exciting and fun, because they were sure they could handle a werewolf. There had not been a noble reason to do it, until they discovered it actually helped Remus.
Werewolves in their wolfish form had an instinct to attack and bite humans. Being locked up in the Shack, Remus could do no such thing. That was, of course, a good thing, but it did mean Remus, out of despair, hurt himself instead. But when they had started bringing Remus out to the Hogwarts grounds, he had stopped clawing at himself. It was probably because the new surroundings to explore was interesting enough to distract him from the lack of victims there was for him to put his teeth in. In the small Shack he'd seen hundreds of times before, on the other hand, that seemed to be the only thing on his mind.
But this year, Remus had made it clear he would stay in the Shrieking Shack.
"But it would help you-"
"Not if we're attacked by Death Eaters."
"You would probably be the one doing the attacking," Sirius pointed out.
"Just… no," Remus sighed. "Taking me out there… we were being stupid. What if I would have hurt someone?"
"You didn't," Sirius pointed out.
"Remember the time we went to Hogsmeade?" Remus asked rhetorically, with a sarcastic raise of the eyebrows.
One time last year, Remus had sat off towards Hogsmeade. James, Sirius and Peter had let him. James and Sirius transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check, and the village was sleeping anyhow. But it had turned out not everyone had gone to bed. Suddenly, Remus had sensed a wizard, perhaps out on a midnight stroll, and made a run for it. James and Sirius had been able to stop him in time, to the cost of a couple scratches. But they had been cutting it close. Even if Remus hadn't killed or bitten the guy, he could still have been seen. None of those were very good options. But that was one time, and they had manage to handle the situation.
"Well…" Sirius traded off. "Well, you didn't that time either."
"It was too close." Remus tone was final. "And I hurt you. Those scars will never heal, you know." He paused for a moment, eying them closely. We'll stay here tonight, okay?"
"Okay," said James. He rather agreed with Sirius, but being the werewolf, Remus oughta have the final say.
James tucked away his wands in his robes, before transforming.
James' transformations were so very different from Remus'. His was over in a split second, and it wasn't painful or energy-consuming. And he was still himself. When Remus turned into a wolf, he lost all sense of who he was.
James still hadn't quite gotten used to having hooves and antlers, not to talk about managing four legs instead of two. It wasn't difficult to walk or anything, but mentally it kind of messed with his head. It wasn't weird in a particularly bad way. It was cool to be able to turn into an animal, but it was still, in fact, weird. At least, this gave him some more insight into Remus' day-to-day life.
Sirius, now in the form of a large black dog, jumped up on the bed and stroked himself against Remus. Absent-minded, Remus lifted his hand and ran his fingers through the fluffy fur. James made his way over to the bed as well, where he remained standing. None of James, Sirius or Peter had the ability to talk, and since Remus wasn't exactly in the mood for a conversation, they waited in silence.
James wasn't sure how much time had passed when Remus' heavy breathing suddenly hitched. James head automatically turned to look at him, as Peter disappeared from the bed, and Sirius slowly started to back away. Remus took a final, deep breath, before a blood-chilling scream left his lips. He fell forward, his hands instinctively shooting out to cushion the collision. He drew a raspy breath before screaming again, now digging his fingers into the bed covers below.
James hurriedly followed Sirius lead, backing away, as he watched his friend twist in pain while screaming his lungs out. James, Sirius and Peter gathered at the other end of the Shack. Even though werewolves weren't dangerous to animals, they didn't want to be close to Remus while he transformed. Being in agony, it didn't really matter to the wolf who was near him - human or animal - as he clawed the air around him.
Remus' screams were abruptly cut off. His figure had started to grow, as his human limbs were replaced by the wolf's. Soon, a clear, loud howl filled the house, as the big wolf rose from under the blanket and stood up on its four legs, its open jaws turned towards the ceiling.
The wolf never seemed to suffer from the pain its human counterpart had just moments ago. It was always weird to witness the very moment Remus mind switched to the wolf's. It was like pressing an off-button.
The lissom wolf stopped howling, and made a pliable jump down from the bed. For a moment, his dark eyes rested on James, Sirius and Peter. He didn't seem to find them very interesting, however, and soon turned his attention elsewhere. The wolf's heavy, steady breathing was the only thing James could hear as he cautiously observed him.
James was sure Remus recognized them. He knew they were the same animals visiting him every month. Werewolves were intelligent, and besides, the first time they ever had stayed with Remus, he had been far more interested in them. Now they were old news, and that was clearly why he didn't pay them any attention. It hadn't been funny at the time, but when James thought back to their first ever meeting with the werewolf, he smiled inwards.
Remus had watched them closely and uttered a growl, as he'd tramped up to them. Terrified the werewolf wouldn't be fooled by their animagus-forms, James, Sirius and Peter had backed up against the wall, panic-stricken trying to come up with an escape plan. Remus had walked right past James and Peter, and walked up to Sirius, who'd pressed himself even tighter against the wall. Remus had let out a more powerful growl as the dark eyes had stared the black dog down.
Instinctively, Sirius had cowered; trying to make himself as small as possible as he turned his gaze to the floor. As Remus hovered over Sirius, James had been pretty sure their group were about to acquire a second werewolf, or lose one member entirely. But Remus had leaned down to friendly nibble on Sirius' face. Apparently, that was how wolves show affection. Being a dog, Sirius seemed to be close enough to a wolf for Remus to accept him. Wolves were herd animals, and maybe Remus was starving for family members, and Sirius had had to do. Thankfully, Remus hadn't pierced Sirius skin as he bit him. If Remus' saliva had mixed with Sirius blood, than Sirius had been a lost cause. That was how a werewolf spread its condition.
James let go of the memory and returned to the present. Remus seemed to have finished his exploring of the house, and now he turned to James, Sirius and Peter. Sirius took a step in the werewolf's direction. When Remus didn't do any rapid or threatening movement, Sirius kept walking. When he reached the werewolf he carefully stroke his head against his. Remus gave a short yelp, assumingly his way of greeting his one and only flock-member. After that, he seemed to be over and done with Sirius. The wolf swept his eyes over James with Peter on his back. Peter was always scared when they spent the night with the transformed Remus. Even though Remus didn't actively try to hurt them, he could easily harm such a small animal as a rat by mistake. Remus had assured Peter he didn't have to be there, but bravely, Peter returned every month.
James eyed the big werewolf. He could hardly tell the difference between Remus and a regular wolf. It was in behaviour they really differed. Remus, with an assorted fur of white, grey, light brown and black, looked truly magnificent. Wolves were beautiful creatures, and Remus was no exception.
By now, Remus' patience seemed to have reached its limit. He had started to impatiently scratch his paws against the shack's walls, leaving long claw marks in the wood. A threatening growl rose in his throat, as he more viciously tried to escape his prison. It didn't take long before his claws were tearing up his own skin, as well as the walls and furniture. Incapable of coming to Remus' aid, James helplessly watched as streaks of thick, red blood made its way through Remus' fur and dripped down on the floor.
Why didn't he attack them instead? Even if Remus thought James, Sirius and Peter too be animals, surely they must be a more tempting target than his own body? Perhaps Remus would have some insight about that. Even though his mind caved to the wolf during the full moon, Remus still had full knowledge about everything that had been taking place. Maybe he would know how the wolf reasoned.
As far as James remember, Remus had never hurt himself so bad as he did now. Not even before they had started to let him run free. Maybe the werewolf had gotten so used to being outside, that staying inside the Shrieking Shack was worse than it had been from the start.
James hoped Remus would calm down, at least momentarily. That way he could try to interfere, and make Remus focus on something else than to tear himself into pieces. But right now, when Remus was being so aggressive, James didn't dare to get closer. And even if he wanted to break his promise to Remus and let him out of the Shack, he couldn't. To do that he would have to take human form and use his wand, and that would not be a good idea.
Occasionally, James, where he was staying close to the wall, shot a look out the window. That way he was able to keep track of the time. The moon steadily, and extremely slowly, made its way over the black sky.
Eventually, Remus' growling quieted down, and was replaced by a desperate howling. His fur was filled with sticky lumps of coagulated blood, and some of his wounds were still bleeding heavily. Remus walked away from the wall he'd been scraping at, and with a loud thump he lay down on the cold floor in the middle of the room. His heavy breathing was repeatedly interrupted by him howling, while he scratched his sharp claws against the planks. Carefully, James and Sirius both trudged towards the hurt wolf. Remus didn't seem to want them there though, as his jaws snapped after them when they came close. James and Sirius immediately jumped back, and after that they kept their distance.
Where he was laying, bleeding and carefully licking his wounds, the werewolf looked so harmless. It felt impossible he would turn into a vicious animal once again if James took human form. Not that James was going to test that theory. He knew Remus was in fact very dangerous, but he felt so awful and scared just standing in a corner as the pool of blood around Remus grew bigger and bigger.
When the sky started to retake a faint blue shade, James was about to collapse from exhaustion. Peter had already fallen asleep, and lay curled up behind Sirius. The werewolf seemed to sense the day was coming. After being somewhat quiet for a while, he suddenly snapped his head upwards and howled loudly. Remus started to stand up on all four, his claws creating a clicking sound as his paws gripped the hard surface under him for support. James could no longer spot the moon from where he was standing, and the sky was quickly starting to light up.
A yelp of agony escaped Remus, as he suddenly lost balance and fell back down on the floor. He started to howl again, as his body began to shake viciously. The wolf shrank, and suddenly, a very human scream erupted from the figure on the floor. Quickly, James transformed and rushed up to Remus along with Sirius and Peter.
Hunched down, the hyperventilating Remus let out a sob. His body was shaking. Afraid to hurt him even more, James didn't dare to touch him. It was Madam Pomfrey who had a string of potions to help with the pain and blood loss. Unsuccessfully, Remus' human nails tried to grip onto the planks. He gave a harsh-sounding cough, spitting out a fair amount of blood on the already red floor, before he fell back down and went completely still.
