7. Victims and Villains (Sirius)
Sirius looked out over the Hogwarts grounds as he contemplated what Remus had just told them.
"He must not know," Remus exclaimed fiercely. "He, of all people…"
Sirius couldn't agree more. Snivellus was a racist asshole who already thought muggle-borns and muggles to be beneath him, so that he'd consider werewolves to be less worth than the mud on his shoes was a given. Along with the majority of the wizarding world, Snivellus thought werewolves to be violent beasts; animals that couldn't be thought morals or manners. If he found out about Remus he would no longer acknowledge him as a human being.
Moreover, Snivellus getting ahold of their huge secret wasn't a very pleasant thought. Sirius couldn't stand him getting one over on them. Besides, Remus well being depended on the secret staying just secret. If the wizarding world found out he was a werewolf, they'd go crazy. Probably try to kill him. Definitely try to get him expelled. And the Ministry would throw him in Azkaban for being unregistered. They'd all work their asses off trying to destroy the life of a human being, who was bitten as a fucking four-year-old.
Sirius turned back to look at his friends.
"Not that it will make you feel any better, Moony, but I think there are a lot of people who would make your life hell if they knew," said James, where he sat leaned against a tree. "Even those you consider to be nice."
"Yeah," Remus agreed bitterly. "But Snape knowing… It would feel worse than if anybody else did. It would give him so much power over me."
Sirius' lips curled into a disgusted grimace as Remus echoed his thought. "Fucking Snivellus."
That was obviously what Snivellus had had in mind when he confronted Remus outside the Great Hall last night. He probably hoped to expose their secret would get them expelled. Like what they got up to was any of his business.
They were sitting at the edge of the forest, which spread itself up the mountains. The steep, grass-covered mountainside below them lead down to the rest of the Hogwarts grounds. The Forbidden Forest peeked out from the right, as it followed the slope almost all the way down to the lake. The magnificent Hogwarts Castle in the distance was lit up by the afternoon sunlight.
Remus had been in the Hospital Wing all day, and this was the first time they'd seen him since when he joined them for dinner last night.
"What do you think somebody would do if they did find out?" Peter asked wondering.
"Tell on him?" James suggested.
"If it were Snivellus he might use it as blackmail," said Sirius.
The image of Snivellus bossing them around made Sirius grimace.
Remus sighed in despair. "What are we going to do? He will figure it out. Once you pay even a little attention, it's not very difficult."
"Like we did," Sirius chimed in.
"Like you did," Remus confirmed.
"Maybe you could start disappearing more often, not only during the full moon?" Peter suggested.
"That's clever!" said James enthusiastically. "That'll throw him off your scent."
That was such an easy solution actually.
"Good job, Pete," Sirius laughed. "Problem solved."
Peter smiled.
"It is a good idea," said Remus, not sounding very happy about it, however. "But that means I'll have to miss even more school-"
"C'mon, Moony," Sirius sighed, annoyed. "Isn't it worth it if it means Snivellus doesn't get ahold of your most precious secret? A secret, I might add, which, once reviled, would have severe consequences."
"Yeah, it's worth it. It's just annoying, that's all," Remus continued.
Come to think of it, Remus shouldn't have to complicate his life even more because of Snivellus. That was so unfair, not to talk about irritating. But what else could they do?
"Professor McGonagall's not going to be happy," Remus sighed. "She's going to ask why I'm cutting class."
"So tell her," Sirius prompted. "She's on your side."
"She'll probably tell me not to worry about it."
"Why would she?" Sirius asked. "She's not stupid. Keeping your secret must have a pretty high priority."
"I'll guess we'll find out when you talk to her," James concluded with a small smile.
Remus hum in response didn't sound very excited.
"But whatever she says, you have to start disappearing at random times," James insisted. "That way Snape has nothing to go on."
Remus suddenly became very still. He blinked as he quite emotionless stared at James for a moment. Sirius frowned at the sudden change in his behaviour.
"Except my name," Remus whispered.
Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "Your name is very unfortunate for a werewolf, I'll give you that, but there is no way he'll actually consider that evidence."
"Not that name," Remus hissed. "You call me Moony!"
Sirius automatically opened his mouth to assure Remus that wouldn't be a problem, but quickly closed it again. That would probably get Snivellus pretty far.
Everyone was silent for a moment.
"I'm screwed," Remus concluded quietly.
"Look," James started, not sounding as calm anymore. "We'll just stop calling you Moony. We'll-"
"He already knows you call me Moony," Remus frustrated pointed out.
Snivellus had never really missed an opportunity to make fun of the nicknames they had for each other.
The other ones seemed to consider this to be the final nail in the coffin, but Sirius refused to be defeated. Snivellus was not going to take them down. They could handle him.
They would have to.
"What I wonder," Sirius started in a frustrated voice. "Is when the public switch from considering a werewolf a victim to a villain." He swept his eyes over his friends. "People hate werewolves cause they hurt and bite innocent people, right?"
The other ones nodded half-heartedly.
"Well, the werewolf was an innocent person who was bitten! Werewolves are hated because they hurt innocent people, but then the public hates on the innocent people as well. That doesn't make any sense."
"No, it doesn't," James agreed.
"People aren't logical like that. Once they learn someone is a werewolf, that someone turns into a villain in their minds," said Remus.
"But you were bitten when you were four years old!" Sirius exclaimed.
Remus averted his gaze.
"How can anyone consider a child to be anything but a victim." Sirius shifted position to sit cross-legged.
"I dunno," said Peter in a low voice.
Remus had started to fiddle with a pine cone which had been lying on the stone he was sitting on, tearing it into smaller pieces.
"We're going to solve this, Moon- I mean... Remus," Sirius awkwardly assured Remus.
Remus gave him a sarcastic look. "Good job, Sirius."
"Start by talking to McGonagall," said James. "Who knows, maybe she has a better plan."
"Yeah," said Remus tiredly.
They all went quiet. Remus turned his gaze out over the Hogwarts grounds.
"Let's do something tonight," said Sirius, sitting up straighter. "Forget about Snivellus for a moment. Remus, are you patched up enough to have fun?"
Since the upcoming full moon had made Remus tired and nervous the four of them hadn't really done anything all week. Mostly they had just been sitting in the common room studying while Remus took a nap.
Remus looked a little less miserable but shook his head. "I think I'll be too tired."
Sirius pursed his lips.
"But do something without me," Remus added.
"Okay. Any ideas?" Sirius asked.
"A prank?" Peter suggested.
"Messing with Snape is a given option," James added.
"Let's say we pull a prank on Snivellus and kill two birds with one stone?" Sirius smirked.
James and Peter smiled back, while Remus looked less convinced.
"You know, you messing with him is what drove him towards investigating me," said Remus dryly.
Sirius shrugged. It's not like Snivellus hadn't deserved it.
"It doesn't matter now anyway," Sirius responded, before turning to James and Peter. "So, you in?"
James shot a glance at Remus, feeling the need for his permission.
Remus raised his eyebrows in an annoyed gesture. "Whatever."
"We're in."
Sirius smirked again.
Planning their revenge might have to wait, though, until Remus was sound asleep. That way, Remus wouldn't have to worry about what they got up to.
Remus started flipping through the Charms book he'd brought with him. When no one else spoke, Sirius gazed into the woods behind them, before looking out over the ground again. They had picked a nice spot. The forest was beautiful, and it gave him a bit of a rush seeing the Castle so far below.
An urge to transform and run down the slope or into the forest as a dog rushed through him. He wanted to feel soft grass or roots and hard packed earth under his paws.
Sirius hadn't expected to get some traits from his animagus-animal, but nowadays he found himself sometimes longing to transform and head out for long walks, snuggle up next to someone, or hunt after squirrels on the Hogwarts grounds. Doing those things in dog-form was great, but it felt a little weird when his immediate impulse when someone accidentally flew a quill across the classroom was to turn into a dog and hunt it down.
"If you could have chosen what animal your animagus would have been," Sirius asked, keeping his eyes on the grounds. "What would you have picked?"
"Not a rat," was Peter's immediate response.
Sirius snorted, before turning to look at his friends. Peter looked torn between being miserable about his animagus form and being pleased with making Sirius laugh. Remus looked up from his book and withdrew his hands from the pages.
James looked thoughtful. "It's a tough question. In a way, I'm happy we can't choose, cause there are so bloody many options. Maybe I would have picked something I would have regretted later."
Sirius laughed, while Peter didn't seem to agree at all. Being a rat, it wasn't difficult seeing where Peter was coming from. If he'd get to pick for himself, anything but a rat would do.
"So you're happy being a stag?"
James shrugged. "Sure. Being a lion or something would have been cool, but at least as a stag I'm not entirely out of place. No one would be suspicious if they spotted me outside.
"But a dog is better," Sirius argued. I can be inside too, and no one would think it was weird.
Sirius was pleased with his animagus form. As they had prepared to become animagi, he had worried a little he'd get a boring animal, but his one was great. Dogs were cute and cuddly, and on top of that he was fucking huge, so he could defend himself as well (for example against a certain werewolf). And since dogs were common animals, he could use his animagus form often.
"Sure," James agreed. "Although, not inside the castle. People would wonder where the heck you came from."
"Especially Lily," Sirius laughed.
James, Remus and Peter smirked back at him.
"It would have been nice to be able to fly," James continued.
"We're wizards James," Remus pointed out. "You've got a broom."
"I know, that's why it's not the end of the world I'm not a bird. I can still fly. But if my animagus could fly, I wouldn't have to fetch my broom every time."
"Do you see yourself in many situations where you are in the immediate need to fly?" Remus wondered.
"James - the dove on the Quidditch pitch," Sirius teased. "You would be knocked out by a Bludger in no time."
"I wouldn't be a bloody dove!" James protested. "I meant like an eagle or something. An owl."
"I vote for an owl," Remus chimed in. "Then you could deliver our letters."
Peter laughed.
"What about you, Remus?" Sirius asked. "You're not planning to become an animagus?"
"I'm not sure that would even work for me," said Remus. "It's meant for humans."
"You are a human," Sirius pressed, as Snivellus' face once again rose to the surface of his mind.
"Not entirely. Maybe the wolf would block out the other animal, or something."
"But let's say it worked." Sirius insisted.
"I don't know if I'd want to be an animagus. I already get my fair share of transformations."
"How about a wolf?" Sirius suggested innocently.
Remus glared at him. "Aren't you hilarious."
"But Remus," James cut in. "That's interesting actually. What if someone's animagi was a wolf? Is that considered cool, or would people immediately start thinking of werewolves?"
Remus shrugged.
A wolf was a cool animal, but any connection between human and wolf was probably tainted by the wizarding world's dislike for werewolves...
"It would be cool," Sirius decided out loud.
A cool wind hit them in the face and ruffled the leaves around them. Sirius shivered as Remus and Peter instinctively covered, hugging themselves for warmth.
"Maybe we should head inside?" James suggested.
They all stood up, and Remus picked up his books and shoved them inside his bag. Together they walked down the steep slope back to the Castle.
"I should talk to Professor McGonagall right away," said Remus, when they climbed the marble staircase.
Sirius, James and Peter decided to come along, and soon the four of them were standing outside Professor McGonagall's office again. This time everyone was visible, though.
Remus knocked, and after a moment of silent, Sirius could hear the sound of a chair scraping against the floor. Soon, the door swung open.
Professor McGonagall looked surprised to see them.
"Professor, could we talk to you for a moment?" Remus asked quietly.
She stepped aside. "Come in."
Professor McGonagall's office was roomy, with a single, big window in the back, letting in some natural light. A row of bookshelves covered the right wall. Professor McGonagall walked back to her big desk, which was overflowing with parchments, and sat down. Sirius, James and Peter followed Remus, as he went up to her and stopped on the other side of the desk.
"Well, what is this about?" McGonagall asked in a casual tone, putting her folded hands on the desk.
"Snape… eh, Severus Snape is kind of on his way to find out I'm a werewolf," Remus awkwardly told her.
Professor McGonagall hardly moved a muscle, but her eyes turned a bit more stern-looking.
"I don't think it would be very good if he found out, professor," Remus added, after a moment of silence.
Professor McGonagall's eyes landed on Sirius, before moving on to James. She knew they often got at Snivellus and had told them off before. She didn't say anything about it now, though, and turned back to Remus.
"No, that wouldn't be good," she said in a definitive tone.
"The only thing we could think of to stop Snape would be if Remus disappeared more often from class," James chimed in, taking a step closer to the desk. "That way he wouldn't notice a pattern between Remus and the full moon."
Professor McGonagall eyed James closely in silence for a while.
"It's not ideal," Remus cut in. Professor McGonagall turned to look at him. "I don't want to have to sneak around more than I already do. Professor, if you have any other ideas, I'm very open to it."
"I'm sorry, I don't," she responded calmly. "But I agree it is crucial you keep your condition a secret. I have to admit I'm not thrilled you'll be missing more school, but that seems to be a solution."
Well, at least she was on their side, just as Sirius had thought.
"I will talk to the Headmaster, and you'll be permitted to cut more class."
Remus looked reviled.
"This can't possibly be a permanent solution, however," Professor McGonagall continued. "Hopefully, Mr Snape will lose interest." She turned back to Sirius and James again, and let her green eyes pierce into theirs. "And maybe some of you will find other ways to lower Mr Snapes desire to intermeddle."
Sirius bit his lip. Somehow, Professor McGonagall made him feel really immature.
"We'll do our best," James coarsely reassured her.
Professor McGonagall didn't respond.
"Thank you, professor," said Remus, shifting his weight.
Professor McGonagall gave a short nod. Sirius took a step towards the door.
"Close the door after you," Professor McGonagall instructed them.
That was a clear sign they were allowed to go, and the four of them walked out into the corridor.
"Don't do anything to Snape tonight, please?" Remus immediately said, when the door closed behind them and they started heading towards the Gryffindor Tower.
"No, we won't," James assured him.
"It's not like he's going to stop keeping an eye on you, Remus, if we leave him alone now," Sirius protested.
"Sirius, just… No!" Remus exclaimed.
"Mate, give it a rest," James advised Sirius. "He's doing this cause he's angry at us, right? So let's not make him angry."
Sirius sighed. He understood where they came from, it was just that it wasn't fair Snivellus would get away that easy. He already hated them, so what they did or didn't do wouldn't really make any difference. But if Remus expressly told him to leave it be, Sirius guessed he had to.
"James, can you pass the apple pie?"
With a full mouth, James put his spoon down and passed the apple pie to Sirius. Sirius cut out a slice and put it down on his plate, where it fell into several smaller pieces. After pouring some custard on it, he dug in.
Their Friday dinner was heading towards an end. Remus, looking like he'd fall asleep any second, had already finished eating, and was tiredly sipping water from a glass, as he looked out over the rather empty hall. The sun had started to set outside, which was the reason the enchanted ceiling shifted between orange and blue. The Hufflepuff table was completely empty, but a group of Ravenclaws and a couple of Slytherins were still sitting at their respective tables.
James and Peter were caught up in a discussion about muggle inventions, which meant Sirius unnoticeably could stare at Regulus across the hall. Regulus was sitting next to just one guy this time, and it was hard to tell if he'd been one of the two Sirius had met last time. He hadn't exactly paid attention to how they looked.
Suddenly, Regulus and his friend stood up and started making their way out of the hall. Sirius shot up from his seat, which made James, Remus and Peter cast wondering glances at him.
"I just need to use the bathroom," Sirius hastily made up, before following his brother out of the Great Hall.
Sirius managed to catch up with Regulus in the staircase down to the dungeons.
"Regulus!"
Regulus stopped and turned around on the spot. He looked at Sirius disbelievingly. "What the fuck do you want?"
Sirius didn't like the position he'd put himself in. Even though he was just pretending to beg for Regulus' forgiveness he felt pretty vulnerable. But that was because he always was uncomfortable around Regulus. Regulus had been there all through their lives to witness Sirius' humiliation and weakness when their parents used various means to crush his spirit. It gave Regulus such an advantage. Sirius could try to play tough all he wanted, but that wouldn't fool his brother.
"Could I talk to you for a moment?" Sirius shot the other Slytherin a glance. "Alone."
Regulus turned to his friend to share a look. "I'll catch up with you," he told him, and the guy disappeared down the stairs.
Regulus turned back to Sirius. "Okay, Sirius, what is your problem?"
Sirius bit down the mean comment he wanted to throw in his brother's face.
"Okay, Regulus, listen-" He broke off and paused for a moment.
Fuck. He hated that he sounded so weak.
He had planned to get right into the I-want-to-be-friends-thing but decided he needed to build up to that. He changed track. "Can we not be so bloody rude to each other?"
"Well, stop following me," Regulus snarled.
"I'm not following you," Sirius pointed out, annoyed. "I just want to talk to you, but you refuse to listen."
"Okay." Regulus raised his eyebrows. "I'm listening. What do you want?"
"I just think it's sad we go around being mad at each other-"
"And who's the one starting fights at home?" Regulus spitefully sneered.
Sirius opened his mouth in a silent protest, forgetting about the reason he'd come here. "And you think that's my fault?" he snapped.
He didn't want to hate his family. He wanted parents who loved him. Besides, they were the ones starting the screaming. They were the ones raising their wands against their own son.
"Just because I have don't have a messed up world-view doesn't mean you can pin that shit on me!" Sirius continued. "It's just as much your fault. If you could keep an open mind-"
"Oh, I forgot," said Regulus coldly. "The mudblood-lover."
Sirius wanted to punch him in the face.
"Don't use that fucking word," he hissed, towering over Regulus, standing on the step above.
"You're all alone, you know that right?" Regulus' mocking tone was calm. "Our whole family is against you."
Regulus' words felt like a slap in the face. Sirius already knew it was true, and he didn't even want his family's company, but being completely alone made him felt so fucking miserable.
"Fuck you, Regulus," Sirius spit out.
He turned around and furiously shot up the stairs. He was at the top of them, back in the Entrance Hall, when he almost rushed into another black-haired douchebag.
"Careful there, Black," Snivellus sneered, as he took a step back to avoid a collision.
Sirius gave him a hostile stare.
They were the only two in sight.
"You know what, Snivellus," Sirius angrily exclaimed, bringing out his wand, as Snivellus did the same. Sirius took a step closer. "I don't like it when you put your big nose in our business." he dropped his voice to a threatening soft one.
Snivellus smiled. "Too bad."
Sirius raised his wand, but Snivellus immediately followed his movement.
"You leave Remus alone," Sirius ordered.
"Aww, does he need your protection?" Snivellus mocked, tilting his head to the side. "You and Potter's little protégé."
Sirius ignored his comment. "Why are you so annoying, Snivellus? Because Lily left you?"
The smallest faint of pink bloomed out on Snivellus' cheeks. Sirius seized the opportunity, and manage to hit Snivellus with a spell. He flew backwards as the blow hit him, landing on the floor in a pile of black. The wand clattered against the stone as it skittered across the Entrance Hall. Snivellus attempted to stand up, but a second flick of Sirius' wand sent him down to the ground again.
Sirius moved closer, his wand firmly pointing at Snivellus, who unsuccessfully was fighting against the invisible barrier holding him down.
"Don't fucking think you've got anything on us," said Sirius, leaning over him. "You're just a sad, lonely little Slytherin."
Snivellus' black eyes were filled with hate as he stared up at Sirius. For a moment, Sirius and Snivellus locked eyes in silence. Resisting the temptation to curse him again, Sirius turned around, without lifting the spell, and disappeared up the marble staircase. He could hear his heartbeat thumping loudly in his ears, as he breathed heavily through his mouth.
Fucking Snivellus. Fucking Regulus.
Sirius continued upwards, floor after floor.
Remus was going to be pissed, and Professor McGonagall would without a doubt put him in detention, but Sirius hadn't exactly been thinking. Snivellus fucking deserved it, and really, he was weak, so maybe scaring him would be enough to stop him from stalking Remus.
Sirius stopped in an empty corridor on the fifth floor to be able to collect his thoughts.
So, he failed. He was supposed to befriend his stupid brother. But Regulus had made that impossible. He could at least have tried to keep an open mind.
If Sirius couldn't even fool a Hogwarts student, he would make a pretty lousy spy as well. And soon, Voldemort would take over the world, with Regulus and Snivellus standing by him.
Green really was a messed up colour.
