8. Petals and Blood (James)

The weather stayed fairly warm and sunny all through September. That meant James' Quidditch practices were very enjoyable, where the seven team members swept over the pitch, the mild autumn-breeze hitting them in the face. Their practice sessions were successful, and James was extremely psyched up for their first game, which would take place in the middle of November. That they would face Slytherin made James even more determined to win. He always wanted to win, of course, but it was more important to beat those pompous berks. At least the other two houses were nice.

Less exciting was that Snape had started to constantly glance at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter every time they had lessons with him or when they passed each other in the hallway. He never said anything, and even though Sirius had attacked him Snape seemed satisfied only observing them. That must be because he knew he was onto something bigger. Snape's staring had, understandably, started to freak Remus out, which might have been Snape's intention. Snape didn't scare James, but he was starting to get on his nerves. Couldn't he just get over it?

Remus, along with Professor McGonagall, had not been very happy with Sirius going after Snape. James had a difficulty deciding if he stood behind them or Sirius. It was obvious Snape deserved it, but maybe it hadn't been the smartest move. They were trying to keep Remus safe, and if Sirius little detour off of that mission had damaged their chances… That wasn't good. But if it didn't change anything James could hardly say he objected of Snape's treatment.

Remus had disappeared from class at two random occasions, hiding in their dormitory to avoid being seen. Not many of their classmates seemed to care though. Actually, the only person next to Snape interested in Remus' disappearances was Lily. She'd glanced a lot their way lately. Maybe Snape and she were talking again and had discussed Remus? James strongly hoped that wasn't the case, because that would mean:
1. She'd made up with Snape.
2. She'd joined Snape's witch-hunt.
3. She disliked James enough to want to actively sabotage for him.

The other explanation as to why Lily would be looking at them was more pleasant and far more likely; even if she didn't like James she still found him interesting enough to pay attention to what he and his friends got up to. That would explain why she, but none of their other fellow Gryffindors, noticed Remus increased absence.

James liked to believe Lily would be accepting if she found out one of her classmates regularly turned into a huge wolf. Since James cared for Remus, and werewolves in general, it would be a bummer if she didn't. However, if James was being realistic, she might not accept werewolves. But how could she not get frightened of something everyone else thought was terrifying? It was naive to deny there wasn't a single dangerous aspect to werewolves. Even while not transformed scratches from one would be permanent, and Remus suspected he might be venomous even as a human.

If James didn't know Remus he'd probably still, just as when he was younger, consider werewolves to be nothing more than a dark creature. An exciting dark creature, sure, but even if he weren't scared of them he'd still believe them to be animals; way less complex than humans who only followed their instincts. The Ministry of Magic didn't exactly help wizards and witches to avoid such a worldview since they classified werewolves as creatures instead of humans.

If Lily, in a hypothetical scenario, found out about Remus she would probably be scared, and James wouldn't blame her. Maybe that was only because he was biased. But he still assumed Lily was opened minded enough to be convinced werewolves were just like humans if someone pointed out to her why that was the case.

Lily didn't talk to James, though, even if she spent a fair amount of time looking his way (although, to be precise, she wasn't even looking at him but at Remus). Except for greeting her at the beginning of the day, James didn't say much to her either. He didn't want to pressure her, and their conversations wouldn't be very interesting anyway since she had every intention of keeping those short.

Their lessons were taking up the most of his time anyway; being more demanding than ever. James liked Transfiguration, but half the time he had no idea what the hell he was doing. In Defence Against the Dark Arts they worked with difficult spells he had never heard the name of before, and the only students who got somewhere in potions were Lily and Snape.

James had always considered himself a brilliant student. Perhaps not brilliant from the teachers' point of view, since that included a student who was not only good at magic but also behaved themselves, but he was indeed really good at magic. But this first month of their sixth year had been like a slap in the face. James had thought he would be able to stroll through this year as easy as he had the last ones, but boy had he been wrong.

The moon had almost made its full lap around the earth, but James, Sirius, Remus and Peter's discussion if they should let Remus out during his transformation hadn't moved along with it. As the date to the full moon in October one grew closer, James brought it up again. He thought it rather crucial to figure it out before Remus turned again.

"Remus," James started, standing in front of Remus and Peter on the floor.

They both looked up from the Defence Against the Dark Arts book they had been sitting bent over.

"Yeah?" Remus asked.

James and Sirius had just returned from the Quidditch pitch after an evening ride on James' broom and had found Remus and Peter sitting by a wall in the noisy common room. A parchment filled with Remus' neat handwriting and one with Peter's scribbles on it lied next to them.

James sunk down on the floor, and Sirius followed him. "About Friday… I really think you need to get out," he said quietly.

Remus shot a glance around the room, making sure no one overheard them before he leaned in closer. "No," he whispered.

"Remus-" Sirius protested, but Remus cut him off.

"For all we know, last month might have been an isolated incident."

James frowned and tilted his head to the side. "I don't think it was," he said in a distressed voice.

"You're not basing that on anything," Remus interrupted under his breath. "Look, I know you're looking out for me, but just… just think. What if I bit someone? I would doom them to this…" He trailed off. "How can you think it's worth it?"

"Because we don't think you're gonna bite anyone," James calmly responded as quietly as he possibly could. "We're not waging between you're well being and someone else's. It's a question if you're gonna hurt yourself for no reason."

"'Think' isn't good enough."

Peter, who'd been quiet during their conversation, looked between James and Remus.

"What do you think, Pete?" James asked.

Peter looked a little startled. "I don't know…" he mumbled. "I don't like either option."

"Thank you, Pete," said Remus.

"But we have to pick one," James pressed on.

"I pick the Shrieking Shack."

"Okay, how about this," said James, leaning closer. "We leave you in the Shack this time, but if it doesn't go well we'll let you out next time. Deal?"

"You'll leave me in the Shack, period," Remus said in a final tone.

That had been the end of that discussion, but to James despair, he turned out to be right. The night of the full moon was just as bad as the last one; the vicious wolf tearing at himself in a desperate attempt to still his bloodlust. When Remus had turned back to human James, Sirius and Peter sat by his side, failing at offering any comfort, while they waited for Madam Pomfrey to come and get him. They had wrapped up the bloody Remus, who kept drifting in and out of consciousness, in a blanket. When Madam Pomfrey enter the Shack James, Sirius and Peter all cowered under the invisibility cloak and watched her shove a couple of potions down Remus' throat before bringing him out of the house upon a stretcher.

Everything became completely quiet for a moment after the two of them had left. James let his eyes wander over the Shack's grey walls and the dusty furniture. What looked like stuffing from the torn up armchair was scattered all over the floor, which was already filled with patches of dark red.

"If he's dead I'll kill him," Sirius declare in a tensed voice.

Peter made a quiet humming noise.

"Let's go," James mumbled.

The sun had started to rise and spread a gentle yellow light over the Hogwarts grounds as James and Sirius, with Peter once again on their shoulder, walked across them. The temperature was calmingly mild and droplets of water coming from the damp grass attached themselves at the bottom of James' robes and started to soak the fabric.

Since it was a Saturday the three of them would able to go to sleep for once. Usually after a full moon they went straight to their first lesson. Easy to say none of them paid very much attention in class those days. This time they went straight to the dormitory. James quickly removed his trousers and wet robes before jumping into bed. The soft sheets felt very welcoming as he pulled the covers over him and closed his eyes.


The common room was filled with people as usual. The loud chattering was a bit annoying, as James tried to work on Remus' Arithmancy homework. He was sitting alone in a scarlet armchair next to a window. The dark blue sky outside was practically impossible to distinguish since the glass offered an almost perfect reflection of the common room with James himself in the foreground. His pile of books and the flaming candle on the coffee table next to him created a cosy atmosphere.

When James, Sirius and Peter had woken up around two in the afternoon they'd immediately gone to visit Remus, who, thankfully, was walking and talking (although Madam Pomfrey didn't allow him to do much of either). His injuries were almost as bad as last time, and there was no way she would let him out of sight until she was sure he'd recovered properly.

During the afternoon James, Sirius and Peter had gotten something to eat and worked on their homework. James had managed to catch up somewhat and had finished his own Arithmancy essay. Remus schoolwork was piling up, however, and since James was the only one of the four except Remus taking Arithmancy he had offered to help out.

James or Sirius did Remus' homework on occasion. Remus was thankful but not a big fan of the cheating. It was necessary, however, if Remus didn't want to drown in work. Plus, Remus already had the knowledge to write this essay, he just didn't have the time.

"Where're your friends?"

James jerked at the sudden voice speaking next to him and instinctively turned his head towards the sound. Lily was standing by his armchair. She wasn't wearing a robe, and her red, let out hair hung down over her sweater. James put down the essay and his quill in his lap.

"Eh… what?" he managed to get out.

What she was doing here, voluntarily talking to him...?

"Where are your friends?" she repeated. She didn't sound irritated.

James put down the parchment on the table and shifted around in his seat, leaning over the armrest to look at Lily. "In the Hospital Wing."

Lily frowned. "All of them?" she asked disbelievingly.

A genuine laugh escaped James. "No. Remus is sick. Sirius and Peter are keeping him company," he explained in a friendly voice.

James couldn't help the excited rush that filled him. She was talking to him! And not the way she used to, either. She didn't seem on guard or hostile. A warm lump had settled itself in his stomach.

"Remus is sick quite a lot, isn't he?" Her tone was mild.

James didn't know if he should confirm it or not and ended up doing a gesture that could really mean anything.

"Is it something serious?"

Shit. This was a conversation he didn't want to have.

"I'm sorry…" James began apologetically. "I can't tell you… It's really up to Remus-"

Lily gave a quick nod. "Yeah, of course," she said in an understanding voice.

They both went quiet. James desperately tried to think of something to say as the warm lump grew bigger.

"But it is something serious then," said Lily, giving him a small smile. "You kind of gave that away… You know, if it was just a cold or something it wouldn't be a big deal."

"Uh, yeah," James laughed awkwardly, averting his gaze.

Help

He had to offer her some kind of explanation, otherwise she might decide to do her own research, just like her Slytherin friend.

"He has cancer!" James blurted out.

Cancer… wow. Good job, James.

He didn't know anything about cancer. Why did he have to pick a muggle disease? Maybe it was easily cured by wizards, which was something Lily, being muggle-born, probably knew in that case.

But Lily looked surprised rather than suspicious. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed.

"Don't worry about it," James quickly assured her. "It's not life-threatening or anything." He paused for a moment before adding: "At least as long as he gets regular help from Madam Pomfrey."

"Okay, good." Lily gave an uncertain-looking smile.

They both went silent again. For a moment they kept eye contact, but James quickly looked away.

"Where are your friends?", James asked, turning back to Lily.

"So what are you working on?" she asked.

They both paused awkwardly when they spoke at the exact same time, before looking at each other and falling into a soft laughter.

"Eh... a homework for Arithmancy," James said when they both quieted down.

"Oh, okay. My friends are in the library," she added. "We're studying. I was just going to get a book from the dormitory."

"I'm sorry if I held you up." James tried to sound as much as a gentleman as possible.

"No problem." She took a small step backwards, gesturing her hand towards the staircase up to the girls' dormitories. "I should probably get going, though."

"Yeah, of course," said James hurriedly.

Fuck. Could he be less smooth?

Lily offered him a last little smile, before turning around and disappearing up the staircase.

James let out a breath.

Merlin

She'd talked to him! She'd actually talked to him! For real.

The warm lump in his stomach and a soft happy feeling seemed to compete for his attention.

This had to mean Lily hadn't made up with Snape, cause, in that case, she'd probably be all aboard the I-hate-James-train. On the contrary, it seemed like she finally got it right; Snape was the one to dislike, and James was the one to like.

James quickly turned to check his reflection in the mirror. His black curls messily surrounded the face, with its brown eyes and round, thin spectacles. His unbuttoned robes showed off the grey Gryffindor sweater with thin lines of red and gold running along the top part. He didn't look too bad.

Remembering Lily would return from the dormitory, James looked away from the window and picked up Remus' essay again, trying to look busy and not shallow. There was no way he could actually concentrate on the work at the moment, though. His heartbeat had picked up a little.

James' eyes glanced up when they detected a movement from the stairs. Lily descended from them, before looking James' way. With a short nod she acknowledged him, before walking across the room and disappearing through the portrait hole.

The whole experience felt a little surreal. Like he had suddenly landed in an alternate reality where he and Lily were friends.

James forced himself to count to a hundred before standing up as well. The essay could wait. He put away the books and the essay in his dormitory, before leaving the Gryffindor Tower and heading towards the Hospital Wing.

"You have cancer," James informed Remus as he stopped by his bedside.

Remus was sitting up, supported by two big, fluffy pillows piled behind his back, holding a teacup. Sirius had seated himself on top of the bedcovers by the foot of the bed, while Peter occupied the chair by the bedside table.

"I what now?" said Remus confused.

James explained what had happened with Lily.

"James, you can't expose Remus just because you want to get laid," Sirius laughed.

"I panicked!" James defended himself, while Sirius snorted with laughter. "And also, I don't want to get laid."

"You don't?" Sirius questioned, raising his head to look at James, still with a smirk on his lips.

"That's not the main point. I like her," James clarified. "And she talked to me!"

"Great, mate." Sirius gave a more serious smile.

"Can we go back to the part where she thinks I have cancer?" Remus cut in.

"Now you've got a cover!" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully. "How come we didn't think of that before?"

"To spread a false rumour? That's pretty clever actually," James smiled.

The lie James had told Lily had been something he'd made up on the spot. He hadn't considered it would actually work. But it did! He had solved Remus' problem!

Remus looked at them with a blank expression, before his lips curved upwards. "Yeah, it is," he admitted. "Good job, James."

James beamed.

"You think she'll talk to me again, right?" he demanded to know, too full of energy to sit down. "You should have seen her, she smiled and everything!"

"I'm sure she will, Prongs," Remus smiled.

James managed to contain his enthusiasm somewhat and turned to Remus. "How are you by the way?"

Remus shrugged "Fine."

"He's not fine," Sirius informed James.

Remus glared at Sirius.

"His heartbeat is too fast," said Sirius turned to James. "That didn't happen last month."

Remus bit his lip. The brand new scar across his temple shone bright red.

Remus was most sensitive about getting scars on his face, thus this had to bother him a lot.

"Maybe… maybe you're right," Remus said faintly. "I think I need to get out of the Shack."

James blinked, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. Remus looked so tiny where he was sitting in the bed, patched up to Madam Pomfrey's best ability, his damaged arms hugging the white covers.

James gave a quick nod. "Okay," he said gingerly. "Good."

Remus cast his eyes down.

"I'm almost done with your essay, by the way," James informed Remus in an attempt to distract him from other, more gloomy thoughts. He snatched the wooden chair from the bed next to them and sat down on Peter's left. Soon, they'd fallen into a more light-hearted conversation.

After a while, James' thoughts couldn't help but wander back to Lily. She liked him! She totally had to in some way since she'd walked up to him.

On top of that, Remus would stop hurting himself now, and they could spread the false rumour about his cancer.

It was nice how everything worked out in the end.