12. Page three hundred and ninety-four (Remus)

A row of windows on the left wall ran all the way from front to back in the spacious classroom. The right side was covered by dark oak bookshelves full of leather-bound tomes. The seats in the classroom were divided in two, parted with an aisle in the middle, leading from the door to the dais where Professor Prequan's desk, and at the moment Professor Prequan himself, were.

Remus had picked a seat next to the window for two reasons. He enjoyed the sunlight immersing him, giving a shallow illusion of being outside. He also enjoyed sitting close to the wall, which offered some shelter, compared to the seats next to the aisle.

Peter, on Remus' left, was leaning over a piece of parchment, mindlessly scribbling. In the seats in front of the two of them, James and Sirius were quietly chatting with each other.

"Good afternoon," Professor Prequan greeted the seated class.

"Good afternoon," they all chorused back as the buzz died down.

Remus liked Defense Against the Dark Arts - he always had. It was interesting, and he was good at it. And in times like these, it was, sadly, a highly crucial skill to have. Since the term started they had worked with spells, first going through old ones they already knew, before moving on to new, more complicated ones.

"Today," said Professor Prequan. "We will start covering Beasts, Spirits and Beings."

An excited murmur rose in the classroom. Magical creatures were always a favourite.

"Now, you might wonder why I didn't use the term 'Dark Creatures', or perhaps why I included Beings at all since we humans belong to that category," said Professor Prequan.

The class looked back at him sheepishly.

"Dark Creatures isn't, as one might think, an official term," Professor Prequan continued. "It lacks a formal definition and is instead used by wizards and witches in day to day life, describing any Beast, Spirit or Being that frighten them. Therefore, the meaning of the term 'Dark Creature' might vary from person to person." Professor Prequan peered out over the class. "So, that still begs the question: why did I include Beings? Anyone?"

Among a few others, Remus raised his hand.

Professor Prequan swept his eyes over the class before settling on Remus. "Yes, Mr Lupin?"

James and Sirius both turned around slightly in their seats to look at Remus, Sirius giving him a smirk.

Remus paid more attention to the Ministry's classification of magical creatures than any other boy his age.

"Beings refers to a number of creatures, not just humans," said Remus, which earned him a nod from Professor Prequan. "Some Beings would be considered as 'Dark Creatures' by the public." Remus paused for a moment before adding: "Like Vampires."

"Very good, five points to Gryffindor," said Professor Prequan. He turned around to the blackboard and wrote three titles, labelled Beasts, Spirits respectively Beings. Under Beings, he then wrote down Vampires. He turned back to the class. "But unless Dark Creatures, Beasts, Spirits, and Beings all have official definitions," he said. "What is the requirement to qualify as a Being?"

About a handful of people raised their hands, Remus among them. This time Professor Prequan gave the question to James.

"A Being is any creature who's intelligent enough to understand and follow laws," James explained.

"Correct. Five points to Gryffindor," said Professor Prequan. "The definition of Spirits and Beasts are a bit fuzzier," he continued. "Both groups contain creatures that are not intelligent enough to understand or follow laws, but there is no clear rule for how to divide these creatures between Spirits and Beasts. But we are going to try. Can anyone tell me another creature and place it in one of these categories?"

Hand after hand shot up, everyone feeling confident enough to answer the question, and in a joint effort, the class had eventually listed a considerable number of magical creatures. When they reached werewolves, a discussion erupted as no one could agree if they were to be placed with Beasts or Beings.

Thankful for his place against the wall, Remus turned his gaze downwards and started doodling on his parchment.

"It's obviously a Beast," Roy Forell stated confidently.

The class hummed in agreement.

"Werewolves are Beings, idiot," Sirius countered.

Actually, they were both. Sirius knew that, but he seemed to argue rather for the way he thought things ought to be, than how they actually were.

"Language, Mr Black," Professor Prequan interrupted sharply. "Five points from Gryffindor."

"Werewolves doesn't think like wizards," Roy continued. "When they're wolves they turn into complete savages for Merlin's sake."

"Yeah; when they are wolves," Sirius repeated. "But otherwise they're like any other wizard."

"How can you be sure?" Roy sneered. "Is it so impossible they're actually savages all the time. I mean, I wouldn't trust a werewolf, would you?"

More hums of agreement.

Remus was acclimated to wizards' and witches' all but kind views of werewolves. Considering werewolves to be monsters was the norm, and on most days he didn't get hurt hearing those claims. It didn't shock him anymore and had turned into background noise. Of course, the fact that basically all of the wizarding world unanimously hated him was immensely disheartening. It was a feeling that constantly kept Remus company, but he didn't blame any individual for it. It was a problem that reached beyond a couple of narrow-minded wizards and witches. Besides, if he disliked everyone who held such opinions, there wouldn't be many people he could stand in the world.

Right now Sirius seemed to be more upset than Remus, as he glared at Roy. Sirius' support was comforting, but also dangerous. He definitely stood out by defending a werewolf, which made Remus nervous. Hopefully, everyone would think it was just Sirius being Sirius. He had always been radical, and never the one to back down. But if Sirius kept pushing it, people would get suspicious.

Remus kept his gaze fixed at Sirius.

Just keep your mouth shut.

Thankfully, Sirius seemed to realise there was a line. He sank back in his seat. "Whatever, I still think they are Beings," he concluded in a restrained voice.

"Black says Beings, Forell says Beast" Professor Prequan interrupted. "Who's in favour of Black?"

Sirius suffered a bitter defeat, with only a couple of students on his side.

"Actually," said Professor Prequan, turning back to the board, now filled with white crayon. He wrote down 'werewolves' twice, once under each of the two categories. "You could place it in both categories," he then said, facing the class. "Whether werewolves are a beast or a being has been widely discussed, and the Ministry of Magic has had trouble making up its mind. At the moment, werewolves in human form are considered to be Beings, and werewolves in wolf form are considered as Beasts."

"We're actually going to talk about Beasts today," Professor Prequan continued, circling the Beasts he had written down on the board with his crayon. "Why don't we start with werewolves, and maybe at the end of class we'll united be able to categorise them." He paused, looking out over the class. "Firstly, what is a werewolf?"

Professor Prequan presided to go through the definition of a werewolf and its most defining traits. Remus quietly listened and observed as everyone in the class, except for himself, James and Sirius, took careful notes. Sirius, leaned back toward the wall, mostly stared blankly in front of him, sometimes glancing at Remus over his shoulder.

"Has anyone of you ever met a werewolf?" Professor Prequan asked.

The question caused Remus to lower his head even more, hiding a smile. The class stayed silent.

"If you meet one," Professor Prequan continued. "Would you know how to defend yourself?"

Avada Kedavra, enough Stupify-spells, or even a decent enchanted knife… People made werewolves out to be this terrifying indestructible monster, but really it wasn't trickier to kill them than any ordinary wizard.

"Anyone?" Professor Prequan peered out over them. "Perhaps... Miss Evans," he said when no one answered, gesturing at Lily. "Do you have a theory?"

Lily looked a little startled to been asked for her opinion. "Well," she began hesitantly. "In the muggle world, it's said you can only kill them by shooting them with silver bullets?"

Professor Prequan gave a short nod. "Yes. That is, however, only muggle nonsense. Silver can't hurt a werewolf anymore than it will hurt any of us."

When Professor Prequan began to list every method Remus' classmates could use to murder him, Remus had had enough. He began to sketch on his parchment again, ignoring the lesson taking place. He was happy to leave the classroom when the hour finally was up.


The library was a huge hall filled to the brim with wooden bookshelves so tall you had to climb a ladder to reach the top shelves. Some ran across the walls and others stood in neat rows along the room, dividing it into smaller areas. Tables, comfortable armchairs and sofas could be found scattered all over, usually occupied by a group of quietly laughing friends or loners trying to get some homework done. Today, Remus belonged to the second category.

Remus had a favourite spot at the back of the library. A table by a window was surrounded by bookshelves, creating a small secluded room within the library. It was perfect for studying, but, unsurprisingly, he wasn't the only one who favoured the spot, which meant it was often taken.

This time he was lucky, however. When Remus reached the spot there was no one else there. He seated himself at the table and took out his Astronomy textbook and a fresh piece of parchment from his bag. He continued the sketch of the planets' positions from their last Astronomy lesson.

After a while, Remus heard muffled steps on the other side of the bookshelf, and out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone appearing in the opening between the bookshelves. He looked up, his eyes landing on Lily, who'd stopped in front of the table. She looked slightly taken aback to find him here.

"I'm sorry," she said gently. "I thought it was empty here." She made a slight pause. "Is it okay if I sit down?"

"Sure," said Remus, even though he preferred she didn't. He made an inviting gesture with his hand.

Lily took the seat opposite him. "Thanks," she smiled.

Remus timidly smiled back, before lowering his gaze to his drawing. He picked up his quill and aimlessly let his had hover above the parchment, suddenly unsure of what to do next.

"How are you holding up, Remus?", Lily asked.

Remus looked up at Lily again. She seemed genuinely concerned.

He offered her an awkward smile. "I'm fine."

Lily seemed far from convinced.

Really," Remus added, wishing she would let it go.

Fooling Lily he had cancer made him uncomfortable. It felt dishonest to get her sympathy for an illness he did not have. Although, to be fair, he did have an illness, just not the one she thought it was.

"Madam Pomfrey is good at keeping the cancer at bay," he continued, to offer some kind of explanation.

"Good." She gave him a friendly smile.

Remus hummed unenthusiastically. There was an awkward pause.

Was it disrespectful of him if he continued to study...?

"I've never heard of any other wizard who got cancer," said Lily thoughtfully.

Remus, who had been glancing at his Astronomy homework, tensed up and looked back at Lily, finding himself trapped in her intense green gaze.

That's because wizards could cure cancer in a second.

Remus diverted his eyes.

"Maybe it's not common for wizards. But my mother's a muggle, so perhaps it's because I'm half a muggle," he rambled.

"Oh, yeah, maybe," said Lily, thankfully without looking suspicious. "I didn't know your mother was a muggle," she added after a moment of silence.

Remus gave a short nod to confirm it.

"Does she and your father live together…?" Lily trailed off.

Remus relaxed with the change of subject. "Yeah," he answered.

Lily smiled. "That's great. It can't be easy to make it work. I've heard a lot of stories about wizard-muggle couples who split up for one reason or another. Because the muggle got scared when they found out the truth, or that it was too complicated for them to live in two worlds at once."

"Yeah," Remus mumbled. "But for my mother and father, that hasn't been the case. My family lives in both worlds and it works out fine."

Remus' father was a world-renowned authority and author on non-beings, his mother a muggle professor who taught English and biology. They lived on a muggle street, and Lyall had been to countless of muggle museums, restaurants and enjoyed a variety of muggle activities. Hope had seen Diagon Alley, Hogwarts and Hogsmeade, and used magical objects in her daily life (like her favourite tea set with a teapot that poured tea on its own, complete with a milk jug and a sugar bowl which also served the user without them needing to lift a finger). They had both invited each other into their worlds and saw no need to compromise.

"What's your mother's name?" Lily wondered.

"Hope."

"That's pretty."

Remus hummed.

"What's does she think about magic?" Lily asked. "About you and your father being wizards? Does she have any problem with that?"

"No," said Remus.

Hope actually considered herself lucky. Thanks to Lyall and Remus, she got to be a part of the wizarding world even though she was a muggle. As far as Remus knew she had never disapproved of their magic. She was a little jealous in the sense that she wished she'd been able to do magic too, but it didn't bother her too much, and she would never have blamed Remus or Lyall for that fact.

After a short moment of silence, Lily seemed to decide their chat was over and began to flip through one of the school books she'd brought with her. Remus returned to his Astronomy homework. He had finished sketching Saturn when the meaning of Lily's question sank in.

"Does your family not approve of your magic?"

"Not all of them," she said bitterly after a moment, pressing her lips together, forming a thin, ironic smile.

Remus waited for her to evaluate

"My parents are really proud of me," she explained eventually. "But my sister hates me."

The resentment in Lily's voice caught Remus by surprise. Sometimes teenagers used the word 'hate' too loosely. This was not one of those times.

"She hates you because you're a witch?"

"And some people hate me because I'm not enough of a witch. Isn't the world a wonderful place?" Lily asked ironically.

Remus chuckled joylessly.

Remus didn't have any siblings, only two very loving parents. Therefore, he had never experienced any rivalry within the family himself.

"She wanted to be a witch, you know," said Lily. "She… she even wrote a letter to Dumbledore."

"She wrote a letter to Dumbledore?" Remus asked disbelievingly.

"If you think about it; why is that weird?" Lily sighed. "Who wouldn't wanna go to Hogwarts?"

During six years of Remus' life, he had believed he would never be able to attend Hogwarts, knowing every other wizard and witch were offered that opportunity. That had made him realise what squibs went through. But unlike squibs, and Lily's sister, at least Remus would have been able to learn magic anyway. Lyall had been set on homeschooling him before Dumbledore made a way for him to attend Hogwarts, so Remus would eventually have grown up to be able to do magic. Not being able to go to Hogwarts would have sucked, but for him, there had still been another way. There hadn't been one for Lily's sister.

"Yeah, you're right," Remus agreed.

"But obviously she couldn't go," Lily continued. "And well…" She grimaced. "When you can't have something…" She gave Remus a meaningful look.

Remus barely knew Lily, but her words caused a flash of anger to run through him.

"That's extremely unfair," he said.

"I want to hate her for it," Lily responded. "She was one of my best friends, and now she's completely turned her back on me. I'm truly happy I'm a witch... but it cost me my sister."

Remus didn't know what to say.

"But I kind of get where she's coming from," Lily continued after a moment of silence. "If it had been the other way around; If I had found out my sister had magic powers and was allowed to attend the most amazing school... " She trailed off. "Then maybe I would have hated her."

It was admirable how selflessly Lily accepted her sister's feelings.

"Yeah," said Remus. "If I would have known about the magical world but not been able to be a part of it… That would have made me very bitter..."

Lily hummed in agreement. "I'm glad that you agree," she said. "I'm afraid most people would use my sister as an example for why muggles are stupid and oppress wizards and witches."

Remus had a high empathy for outcasts, although he chose not to share that information with Lily.

"What do you mean most people would use that as an argument?" Remus wondered instead, frowning. "Do you mean people want to argue that muggles are stupid and oppressive?"

"Yes," she said flatly.

"I mean besides Death Eaters," Remus clarified.

"I know," said Lily. "Haven't you noticed even the biggest You-Know-Who-opposer can say something condescending about muggles?"

Remus could come up with countless examples of nice wizards and witches who in one way or another been condescending towards werewolves, but he hadn't noticed the same trend when it came to muggles. Remus refrained the urge to defend werewolves. Instead, he slowly shook his head.

"The common attitude against muggles, Muggle-borns and squibs is really bad. It is inconsiderate and harmful, and lays the foundation to real, You-Know-Who-level of racism. And everyone's disregarding it!" Lily exclaimed.

"In what way?" Remus asked, a bit defensively, feeling Lily's scolding was directed at him.

Lily hadn't seemed the smallest bit uncomfortable when they'd discussed ways to kill a werewolf during the afternoon's lesson.

"Like today in class when Professor Prequan asked me how to kill a werewolf."

Remus jerked involuntarily. Baffled, he stared at Lily.

"I said silver bullets could kill a werewolf and he called it muggle nonsense. That means he thinks muggles are stupid for believing silver could stop a werewolf. How are they supposed to know? We have access to tons of information they don't have, not to mention the mere knowledge that werewolves actually exist, so of course our conclusion is going to be more accurate than theirs. That doesn't make muggles stupid."

Remus relaxed. "You're right. I didn't think of that," he admitted.

"That's just the thing. Nobody does," said Lily, frustrated.

"You did."

The shadow of a smile lured at Lily's lips.

"I don't think the werewolf appreciate that we discuss the best way to kill it," said Remus after a moment of silence, his heart rate picking up. This was dangerous territory, but he couldn't stop himself from bringing it up.

"That's true," said Lily thoughtfully. "That's really morbid when you think about it..."

Remus hummed. "Have you consider that before?" he wondered, giving Lily a small teasing smile.

Lily laughed dryly. "Actually I haven't. You got me there."

"I guess that makes us even," Remus smiled.

Lily chuckled. "I guess so."

Their conversation died out again, and Lily returned to her book.

Remus had to fight a smile. Anytime he met someone with an open mind was a good time. That Lily now agreed it was morbid to discuss the death of werewolves didn't have to mean much. She might still freak out if she ever found out one of her classmates was one, but it was a small win.

And as a werewolf, one had to cherish every small win.