I was so relieved to get out of Violet City, the place of Pikachu, Falkner, and my stalker. It was time to go to the real city of Johto, Goldenrod. I've always wanted to go there, even since my friend May from private school told me she lived there. She described me the place, it sounded awesome. Buildings everywhere, people, and the most important things in unimportant Johto is done there. There, they do actual business. Bellsprout worship does not count as actual work, Falkner. It does not even make any sense.

I went past the gate and proceeded to head west to Goldenrod City when my path was cut immediately by a little stout tree about my height (I'm short, okay?). The path was narrow, and there was this dumb tree right in the middle of it. I was about to try to cut it down myself when it made a groaning sound. I was a hundred percent sure that it was a Pokémon that just really wanted to piss me off. Trees don't groan when you touch them.

I tried to get Cinder to attack it, but he wouldn't. Cinder can be a real jerk sometimes.

So there I was, dealing with a stupid little tree, and I saw a girl at the other side of it. I called out to her, but she didn't listen to me. It's like she couldn't hear me, or something. Either way, the damn Pokémon tree wouldn't freaking move in any direction, and the problem was so random and annoying I screamed out in utter despair. Because of this Pokémon tree I have to walk the entire way to the other entrance of Goldenrod City, and if I get a sprained ankle on the way there I will hate that tree forever. It's not even a real tree. If it was a real tree to big for me to cut I wouldn't care about it, but if it's a freaking stupid Pokémon tree that refuses to budge despite pulling, shoving, pleading, and desperate screaming I can't feel much sympathy. My hatred of it is the life it chose.

I got a phone call from Joey right there, and he mentioned that he took down a Weedle in the wild the other day. In my fury, I asked him why he thought that was a notable achievement. Joey said he'll hang up and think about it.

He's having the good life, I guess. He isn't dealing with stupid trees blocking the way to your paradise, while a geisha is stalking you, and while you're on a high speed race to become Champion before a guy named Pikachu becomes one.

Looking at my map, I saw that the alternate, long way to get to Goldenrod City goes through Azalea Town. Azalea Town, if I remember correctly, is where Falkner wanted me to go after Violet City. I hadn't taken his words to mind. One reason is because Falkner in general isn't someone I take the advice of seriously. The other reason is because I heard in the news that some shady people are stationed there to cut Pokémon tails off to make popular, bad tasting appetizers. It sounded gross and repulsing (Ethan tried the appetizers at a fancy restaurant and told me that the food tasted horrible), so I didn't even think of seriously traveling there. I know there's a Gym there, so what I was planning on doing was to fly over there for my eighth Gym Badge, beat the Gym in twenty minutes or less, then leave in the sunset riding on the back of my beautiful Dragonite with the ocean's waves roaring under his wings. (Dragonite is my favorite Pokémon, in case you were wondering. It looks...slightly less beautiful than its past evolutions, but nobody cares when it comes out in battle as totally awesome.)

Now, look here, Pokémon tree. You ruined my day in more ways than one, you awful, hideous creature. If I ever see you in my way again, conveniently blocking my way in the future when I travel to Castelia City or something, I will have you go burn in Cinder's fire. Next time, Cinder won't hold back. That is a bloody promise.

The map said that I had to head north to the Ruins of Alph. I think I've been to that place before during those educational field trips. If I remember correctly, I puked all over some of the ruins after my school lunch tried to kill me. All of the staff were cross with me, saying that I destroyed priceless, 1,500 year old history in three uncalled for minutes. Some people are overly dramatic.

The ruins are interesting. I feel like an awesome priestess whenever I go down to the badly named place "Mysterious Hall." At least, I assume it's called that if it were to have a name. The sign said, "This is a mysterious hall. Please watch your step."

It's still a nice place, though. Ruins of Alph is really calming, even if the school newspaper had a bad review of it—the headline read, "A Creepy, Eerie Ordeal Only History Geeks Can Like," and the picture below it, on the front page, showed a full blown picture of me throwing up on an ancient stone covered with prehistoric drawings. The caption read, "A student, Soul, shown above, throws up on a carefully preserved piece of rock—which is unfortunately very productive in the grand scheme of things. Certainly, this is one less rock formation for the scientists to examine and waste their time on."

I can't believe that article was actually approved for the paper. For one thing, they got my name wrong. Did you notice how they wrote "Soul," and they couldn't write "Lyra?" They didn't even bother to add my last name to the caption. Yes, my friends, this is clean, professional, and accurate reporting. Some people may think that it's a case of mistaken identity. I don't think that implies to me. I'm so well known at my school, they can't just not know my name. That's just ridiculous, to go a week in my school without hearing my name being called down the hallways by teachers I have detention with. And I haven't even gotten to mention how offensive and insensitive that article was.

Never mind that my biography report was considered more controversial than this, because I wrote about Team Rocket leader Giovanni being a nutcase and somehow the teacher found it insulting. I didn't add a single curse word, nor insult, expect in the title ("Team Rocket Leader Giovanni is a Nutcase, and Here's Proof). I added some very scientific, psychological examination test results from numerous Kanto psychologists who studied Giovanni during the Team Rocket leader's time in prison. My citations were neat, orderly, and up-to-date. My quotes were carefully cited, researched, and organized. I still got a C because the teacher claimed that I was branching into a subject taboo for school. I still think that the reason why the teacher gave me a C is because she must have related too much with Giovanni's test answers, if you understand what I mean.

The world is just unfair sometimes.

I walked through the Mysterious Hall carefully, at first. Then I started to run back to home base like a crazy person.

The thrilling, magical feeling of the so-poorly-named Mysterious Hall hasn't diminished. If anything, it made me more on my edge. At every turn, I thought about the geisha girl pouncing out of the shadows to shake my shoulders until the egg inside my bag breaks. She'll get angry at me for letting it break (the world is unfair, after all) and she would slip away in the darkness, waiting for another day. I imagined that she would come to me the next day as a screaming banshee with a face covered in crumbling white powder, hair unkempt, kimono wrinkled and torn. Then she'll turn me into a monster too, because my life is just crappy like that.

After I thought of that, you can see why I was all in a rush trying to get out of the Mysterious Hall. I could've died, you know. I could've died from a freaking car, because of, I don't know, running over the street to get away from angry kimono girls. I don't know when I'm going to die, but I'll like to kindly postpone as much as I can, please.

Oh, yeah, the run back was much prolonged by a phone call from Joey.

"Lyra, howdy," he said on the phone, as I ran through the ruins like Indiana Jones is my bloody fiancé. "It's Joey, how are you?"

I tripped over a rock. Swearing, I got up and retrieved my Pokégear. In the phone I answered, "I'm doing good." Outside of the phone's earshot I said, "Shit," examining my newly skinned knee.

"Do you remember my super-cool Rattata?"

"The one you continuously remind me about?" I asked. Blood was trickling down my white socks. That was a bad thing, because my other pair of socks still smelled like piss.

"Yeah. It's different than regular Rattata."

I was too preoccupied with my bleeding knee to answer.

"It's like my Rattata is, uh, in the top percentage of Rattata," Joey continued.

I squinted at my knee. I think the injury will scar.

Great, another reason to curse the Pokémon tree. This time, it's lifelong.

"Do you know what I'm saying?" Joey asked. I was just getting a bandage out.

Joey hanged up on me. I guess our conversation wasn't stimulating enough, but to be honest, I don't give much of a shit. He's been talking about the same thing since he got my number.

I headed up the ladder, out of the Mysterious Hall. Then I got another phone call.

I thought this was a case of me being super popular all of a sudden, but sadly, that wasn't the case.

Joey called me again.

"Howdy, Lyra! How are you? You still remember my super-cool Rattata, right?"

I gritted my teeth. "Oh, you, look—you just called. You don't need to remind me of what you just said three minutes ago."

"But my Rattata is different from regular Rattata!" Joey insisted. "It's...it's like...my Rattata is in the top percentage of Rattata!"

"I get your point, Joey," I said coldly, "but can you please call some of your other friends? I am a bit busy right now." I hung up on him.

I got out of the Ruin of Alphs. That place had to be jinxed, somehow. Jinxed with Joey.

I ended up circling around, and getting back to Violet City on accident. That was pretty annoying. I considered getting Cinder some rest, but Cinder didn't need rest. Cinder was restless. I know, he told me.

So onward we went.

Onward we went, to green grass that reeked of walking vegetables (Bellsprout, ugh). Onward we went, to purple rats transported from a post-apocalyptic world, to yellow and blue clothed young boys preparing for a never ending war, to red and white spheres with repellant inside. The last find was kind of cool, actually. Post-apocalyptic purple rats and walking plants both lost their charm the third time around.

I did catch my first Pokémon, though. It was a Hoppip. I named it Cherry even though it was male. Don't ask me how I know it's male, I just have a special gift, okay?

Well, I was on television. The guy from one of the early Pokémon Centers mentioned me, but he strangely got my name wrong. Don't ask me how, but he called me Soul.

MY NAME IS LYRA, 'KAY, NOT SOUL, PEOPLE.

Lesson learned, right?


Author's Note

Just letting it out there...

Since the music gives the atmosphere of the game, you're probably going to see my opinions in the story somehow. In my personal opinion, the most creepiest music in Pokémon is N's Room (Black 2), Strange House (Black 2) and Drought (Omega Ruby). That's just my opinion, though! :) Just thought about mentioning it, because I heard that some people think that Ruin of Alphs has creepy music. Though I guess it can be, depending on the circumstances...