So far, I've agreed with my mother. I've written everything down, because I'm scared that I'll forget everything by the time I turn Champ. By the time you're a Champ, everyone will expect you to compose a brilliant, life changing speech for them, and I believe writing down my experiences would help in that regard. Mostly, well, because they expect that from you. Who am I, to deny what everyone else is expecting? Only geniuses can do that.

However, I've also been writing down things in order to calm myself down, because just recently, I was stalked again. Like, seriously people! I know I'm fabulous, but this is starting to get out of control. I haven't even became rich and famous yet.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.


First, the egg hatched.

It was a male Togepi, and it's named Kitty. It just reminds me of a sleepy cat, you know, because of the way its...hair stuff spikes up. To be honest, I don't know the accurate term for the yellow fuzzy part. It has eyes on it, and a mouth. Popular opinion of the Pokémon Center's patrons call it a "head." I am not so certain. See, there's that spiky part at the top, and it resembles hair. However, the hair seems to directly come from the "head"—that is, there is no clear distinction between "hair" and "head."

The Togepi, strangely enough, has "clothing"—it is in the resemblance of an eggshell. It is strange, as I can testify that Kitty came practically bursting from his egg, the eggshell splitting apart, and besides, the egg was a solid light yellowish color with pale green dots. The eggshell the Togepi wears has a mysterious pattern involving the colors of blue and red on a solid white. Therefore, I must logically conclude that the Togepi, Kitty, had come from an egg that come from another egg. There is no other logical explanation.

Kitty hatched seconds after I asked Nurse Joy to heal my Pokémon at the Center—I suspect magical properties are involved. I had barely walked two steps when I got a call from Elm.

He knew, right away, that the egg hatched. How? Could it be possible, that he's stalking me, through the use of scientistic pawns? Robots, perhaps? This sudden interest everyone has in me is so baffling, I can't even begin to feel remotely flattered.

"A Pokémon hatched from that Egg," came the smug voice on the other end. Those were his exact words, as though I could not notice an egg breaking inside my shoulder bag and giving to Earth an eggshell clad baby Pokémon.

My hands tightened around my PokéGear until they turned white. "I know that."

"I knew that giving you the Egg was the right thing to do. I just knew it!"

"Anyone can hatch an egg," I pointed out. For one example, Ethan could. I bet even Pikachu, my red-haired rival, could do it. It'll take him some time to learn not to break it, sure, but at the end, he'll be able to do it.

"You should come back here and show that Pokémon to me," Elm said.

"No. I am not walking all the way back to New Bark Town—"

Too soon, the phone hanged up on me. I was cross, but not cross enough to call him back. I headed straight to the gym with Kitty behind me. The gym leader, according the gym guide, is a bug type master. I checked the gym statues (those who have beaten the gym leader get their names carved onto the stone), and I noticed with glee that Pikachu hadn't beaten the gym leader yet. He may have gotten to Goldenrod before me, if that's the case, but for now, I've got a start on him when it comes to dreary old Azalea.

Robotic spiders navigated challengers around the gym. It was a very poor design decision. It looked ugly and didn't suit the place at all. I know that bug type Pokémon aren't usually what I consider as "beautiful," but they certainly could have designed the place better. I almost prefer Falkner's suicidal gym design compared to the robotic spiders.

Are all the gyms going to be ugly or pointlessly dangerous? I hope not. The battles inside the gym are so lame, it's only the gym itself that matters.

You know what? I should rank every single gym I come across based on design. In the end, it all comes down to design, since every battle is a cakewalk.

At one point, I glanced at Kitty. He suddenly started dancing in happiness, which was kind of alarming because we were on a robotic spider above a dark, dark pit. I should write something about safety concerns in my review. We need to keep the world safe for the little ones.

About Kitty. Well, he had this move called Extrasensory. He would shift around the image of his opponent in a distorted manner, then he would straightened up and have a really menacing look on his face, as though he was trying to faze them. The last part was so adorable, because his opponent was usually more scary looking than him.

Now, for my reviews...


Falkner's Gym

Safety: 1/10 (I wish I can give zero)

It was incredibly unsafe standing on the wooden planks. They were narrow, and there were no railings. Below the planks it was completely dark. I suspect there is no safety net down there. If anyone were to trip and fall, they would fall to their deaths. The safety standards are atrocious. I encourage young children to be accompanied by adults (if they really have to go), and for people scared of heights to just forget about it.

I would encourage the entire world to stay away from the place, but alas, we need our gym badges.

Design: 5/10

The design was merely passable. The things that slightly resembled floors used simple pieces of wood. It gave a nice sense of balance...at most.

Gym Trainers/Leader: 4/10

There was only two gym trainers, and they were spread out nicely in the very small gym. Their quotes were of horrible quality, though one of them had humility and expressed dislike of the safety of the gym. The gym leader in particular, I have many complaints about.

Average score: 3/10

Bugsy's Gym

Safety: 6/10

The gym was like a kiddie ride at an amusement park in its use of robotic spiders. Below the robotic spiders was only a pitch darkness. Young children, beware.

Design: 3/10 (It was going to be 2, but then I realized it could've been worse)

It overall had a very ugly and unappealing design, though the spider webs the robotic spiders traveled on were slightly interesting. I thought that the switches were a clever feature, though it would be saddening if someone were to accidentally break one of them.

Gym Trainers/Leader: 7/10

The quotes of the trainers were not remarkable. Most of the trainers gave me empty threats, though a couple of them mentioned interesting educational facts about Bug-type Pokémon. Bugsy seemed like an interesting young fellow. He showed honesty and great humility. Shame that I ruined his winning streak in only a few turns.

Average score: 5/10


So that's with them.

I went to Kurt, for more than a day has passed. He was still not done with my Poké Balls. Makes me start to suspect his work ethics...

Ah, well. I was still leaving Azalea for good. I was just going to head for the gate when I heard loud heavy metal rock music behind me. I turned around. It was Pikachu, and his way too loud radio.

Pikachu stared at me for a few minutes.

"Yes?" I said.

"Tell me something, bitch. Is it true that Team Rocket has returned?" he whispered, like it's a secret or something.

"Are they even worth mentioning?" I yawned. "I battled them, and won. They are nothing to be scared about, little child."

"What? Hah! Quit lying."

"You wish. I battled them. I battled Proton." If Proton had a reputation for being scary, I wanted it all to rub in Pikachu's face. Kind of petty of me, I know, but I'm sick of Pikachu.

"Are you for freaking real?"

"As sure as you are pathetic."

"Then let's see how good you are."

"Fine, but turn your radio down."

Pikachu turned it louder, playing a different song. He tossed out his Gastly. I tossed out my Cinder. I changed my mind and was going to get out Cherry instead, but by then Cinder was petrified into staying in battle—Pikachu's Gastly give it a cold look or something.

So Cinder knocked out Gastly, then I got out Cherry.

Pikachu's Croconaw tried to give Cherry a mean look, but Cherry was too busy whipping his tail cutely to notice. Then Croconaw got in a critical hit on Cherry, and KO'd him in one hit.

I got out Cinder, pissed. The fight was not ending out well. I planned to send Cherry into the PC box, permanently. I had never, never had this "knockout" thing before, with neither Cinder or Kitty, and Kitty was a baby that went against gym trainers.

Cinder can take any water that Croconaw childishly sprays on him. He took Croconaw out, pretty well, I'll say—though the fight wouldn't have ended up that way in the first place had Cherry behaved. I view it more as a manner of Cherry allowing the critical hit, then Croconaw being good enough to make it. Let's face it, Pikachu is a horrible trainer and his Pokémon are horribly trained. He's good enough to be a Champ someday, but he isn't good enough for me to lose to him. His standards are way below mine.

Cherry has not met my standards.

He gets a "C plus" in my class.

Though he gets a "B" for effort.

Well, Pikachu lost—did we ever suspect otherwise? He'd said things in the battle: "I can never lose to a weakling like you!" Right, Cherry is weak, but Cinder was getting him Pikachu's Pokémon down, and he shouldn't call the whole team weak when it was really just one part of it. And really, Pikachu has already lost to me before, and he calls me "the weakling," and saying he has never lost to me before. Yeah...okay...I should show him this diary. Apparently, I am not the only person who forgets things.

Pikachu was sour after his lost, then he blamed his Pokémon for being weak. He told me his Pokémon are weak, and that's why he lost.

"I thank you most gratefully for that important, obvious piece of information," I said most ungratefully, getting Cinder into his Poké Ball. "Perhaps you'll train harder next time. You know, before you fight me again."

Pikachu took out his radio again, and blasted the same heavy metal rock music as before. I raised my eyebrows as I watched Pikachu breathing heavily, as though he was the one who was fighting.

Finally he said probably the important thing he'd ever say.

"I hate the weak."

"Really?" I muttered absentmindedly, looking after Kitty. I was on my knees, shuffling through my bag. Kitty had a scrape on one of his hands. He was crying and I was trying to get him to hold still so I could place a bandage on him. I would get him to the Pokémon Center later.

"It doesn't matter who or what," Pikachu said. "I hate to see them hanging around. That goes for Team Rocket, too."

Hah, and I also hate Team Rocket. Though for slightly differing reasons.

"I would tell you we have something in common, but I don't think you'll like that," I told Pikachu dryly.

"They think they are big and tough as long as they are in a group," Pikachu continued, barely aware that I said something. "But get them alone, and they're weak. I hate them all."

"Now, that's pushing it," I said.

Pikachu snapped his attention back to me. "You stay out of my way."

"Really? You are the one who approached me. I feel like I would be justified if I said the same thing to you."

"You aren't an exception."

"But I'm not weak."

He turned away and left for the gate without answering me. Sheesh, that boy. Out of intense curiosity, I had to waste time and check the statues at the gym, and Pikachu's name was not carved into them. He hadn't even beaten the gym leader yet, before leaving Azalea. I even asked the gym guide if a red-haired male trainer around my age had entered the gym recently, and he responded in the negative.

Does Pikachu not know there's a gym at Azalea? For someone who's in such a hurry to be a Pokémon Champion, he certainly needs to brush up on some basic information. But never mind him. I was eager to leave for Goldenrod. Forget him, but the more in the lead I am, the better.

I left Cherry in the PC Box, had the other two heal, and I sent out. Kurt actually had my Poké Balls done by then, and he gave me Friend Balls. I gave him three apricorns, so I'll have something to look forward to later.

Ilex Forest...a boy's two Farfetch'd ran away into the forest. I'm not even sure how to correctly use grammar in that last sentence. How can one even try? I believe Farfetch'd is the name of a brown colored duck Pokémon, but I am not entirely sure. Sure if that's a name, I mean. How anyone could sanely name a Pokémon like that, I cannot fathom to imagine. I wouldn't have believed in it, and I live here, and we eat them here. I still don't understand it, though. In my opinion, "Farfetch'd" is not an especially attractive name in high cuisine, unless you're not of an English origin and you like the name because it sounds "exotic," or something.

Speaking of exotic, I'll refer to them as "Kamonegi," instead of the English name from now on. It sounds better on the tongue, for an English speaker at least.

Anyway, I returned the Kamonegi (both of them) to the boy. It took some thinking, but I managed to do it. I had some déjà vu about the whole experience, you see. Don't ask me how. I'm just special in that sort of way.

The boy was pleased with me and was expressing thanks when his boss came.

"Ah!" the man cried. "My Far and Fetch'd!"

...Well, I suppose that's one way to take advantage of the Kamonegi's bad English names...

The boss understood right away that I was the rescuer of the Kamonegi (his apprentice must be disappointing, eh), so he gave me HM Cut.

HM stands for "hidden move." You don't expect to use Pokémon moves outside of battle, but it turns out you do.

The "cut" part refers to the fact that they use it to cut down trees.

I taught the move to Cinder.

This made Kitty jealous, because the latter wanted to have all my attention. I had to deal with that for a while, before moving on. I came across a shrine, for celery I think. It's celery, or Celebi. I'm pretty sure it's celery, though. Us at Johto love our celery. Celery is the protecter of the lively forests. Celery is the protector of all life.

I saw a sign, and it stated that Ilex Forest is so overgrown with trees you can't see the sky. I hardly believed that for even one moment, but I naturally had to look up to make sure. Really, the sign was wrong. I don't know what century it was made in, but the whole "can't see the sky" thing is not the case today. You can certainly still see the sky. You could even sit on one of the branches, and look down at me, as easy as eating cheesecake pie. Even if it was true, the content of the sign would have still been odd. If it was true, you would've been able to see it for yourself, tree or not. Unless you had bad sight, but then you wouldn't have read the sign.

I was distracted by this thoughts. I was foolhardy, and I slipped right into the trap of the geisha.

The geisha was nearby, and I didn't see her, but she saw me first. She came right to me.

I couldn't believe how careless I've been. I simply stared and blinked at her for the first few moments, my breath suspended.

The geisha cocked her head from side to side. "Kimono Girl, Kimono Girl, lost and all alone. Poor girl in the dark Ilex Forest."

At first I wasn't sure if she was casting a spell on me to turn me into a lost Kimono Girl, or if she was merely referring herself in the third person. Then I realized how stupid the first one thought sounded.

"I...remember you from Violet City," I choked out. "I will..." I then realized I had nothing to say after "I will."

The Kimono Girl (if she's going to call herself that, fine) twirled around, then looked at me in astonishment. "What? How can you remember me from Violet City? You must be imagining."

I barely kept my temper. Great, now she's saying I'm imagining things? Ridiculous. Was this a way to keep me from alerting the authorities?

"Anyway," the Kimono Girl said, "will you show me how to get out of this forest?"

You have got to be kidding me. I began to flat out tell her "No," but then Kitty jumped. Without my discretion, he ran from my side and prompted to show her the way. To be honest, it was no brainer. He just stood in the middle of the next obvious pathway.

"Wow! What a smart Pokémon!" The Kimono Girl glanced at me. "See you."

She left that direction, just like that.

I have no sense of direction either, but that was beyond ridiculous. It was so obvious where to go next, it was practically a straight line out. Well, a straight line with some curves, but still obvious.

Kitty and I walked to the gate from there, and it was an uneventful trip. At the gate, one girl told me that the protector of the forest is a Grass-type Pokémon. I replied, no, it was celery. She seemed shocked. I was firm, though.

Her response was this: "I don't think we grow celery much around here!"

I shrugged and moved on. The secrets of the ultimate form of life, celery, is clearly beyond the knowledge of a simple human being. I cannot pass on wisdom, I can only gossip about it.

On my way to Goldenrod, I encountered Ethan and his Marill. So far, it has been the longest length of time I've ever been away from Ethan (since I've met him), but the streak ended right there.

I was on my way, my regular old way, when I heard someone shout out, "Grandpa!"

Ethan. God, it was Ethan. He even had the Marill to show for it.

"Good work, Grampa! The Pokémon you raised for me has been as healthy as can be!" Then, as an afterthought, "You look fit, too!"

I stayed silent, turned slightly away. I had hoped that Ethan wouldn't recognize me, or notice me, or something. I was wearing bloodstained socks, so even if we were friends, I wouldn't have wanted Ethan to see me in that state.

However, Ethan became alerted to my presence, as though brainwaves visually come from my head when I think too hard.

"Ah, Lyra!"

Time to face the music. I forced a smile and approached him.

Ethan turned to his grandfather with a wide grin on his face. "This is Lyra. She's a Trainer," he said, as though me being a trainer is code for coolness.

He took a gaze at my Kitty, and added, "She seems to be getting better at raising Pokémon...well, not as good as you, Grandpa, of course!"

Stunned, I looked from grandson and grandfather.

What?

What did I just hear?

Did Ethan just challenge my upbringing of my Pokémon! "Better?" Was I bad before?

Ethan got into my face, oblivious to my new glare. "Follow me!"

He got into the Day Care, and I had to follow.

"Grandma!" Ethan cried out. "Let me introduce you to Lyra."

Ethan's grandmother smiled weakly. "So this is your girl...friend. I see, hmm. She's the one you've been talking about."

I gaped at Ethan. More atrocities and the next...!

Ethan blushed. "What? Grandma...! She...just happens to live nearby..."

"Haha, I know," the grandmother said humorlessly, not looking convinced. "Since you took her here, you must be sure about her talent." She winked at me. "Right, Lyra? Come and see us anytime!"

She sounded kind of accusing towards Ethan, too. Like, "So this is the bitch you wish to continue our worthy bloodline with?"

Something like that.

Ethan looked at me, sputtering. "Well, I better go now...see ya!"

He walked on...then sped back.

"Here! My Pokégear number!"

I was forced to register him. I have no choice, if I wanted him to leave quickly.

Ethan's grandmother smiled in a sneaky kind of way. Ethan look back at her, desperately shaking his head.

"Grandma! Don't you say something. We are both Trainers, and we are supposed to exchange numbers. That's all."

Again, there was that doubt on her face, but Ethan left before she could argue.

Eh, I've been sitting on the floor and writing my diary entry here. I've calmed down by now about the whole stalker business, and I'm now freshened up to start adventuring soon. The old lady hasn't said anything to me so far...

...I see.

Ah, never mind. Now she did.

I guess I'll be back on the road soon.


Author's Note

Oh, and tell me how the gym reviews went. I might do them for every gym Lyra comes across.