The breakfast club. The group of misfits that became unlikely friends by ignoring all the naysayers, that overlooked each other's flaws. So it was only logical that this would be overlooked too, perhaps the boys would be uncomfortable, perhaps they'd sit as far from him as possible, the girls may judge him silently and give him those condescending looks.
He could handle any of those things. It would hurt, it would rip his heart to shreds and dip the pieces in gasoline so that he could strike the match, but he could handle it. Even if he lost the breakfast club, he would have his boyfriend. He may be on the fast track to losing all his family and friends but he had his boyfriend and that was enough.
Not only did he have his boyfriend, his boyfriend was moving here. Was moving to his town, to his school, to his street even. It had been planned to move to the same neighborhoods but the same street had been a mere coincidence that the couple had celebrated with a late night in the new place.
He would be living here permanently by the end of the month, Brian had until the end of the month. He had to tell the others. It wasn't fair to his lover if he had to hide from every person in the godforsaken town. While Brian had explained that he wasn't ready to be outed to the school yet, and been sincerely reassured that there were no hard feelings, he didn't want to hide his happiness from every part of his life.
So he called the club to be sure they would all be there for their weekly meeting. Andy confirmed that he was picking Bender and Allison up from detention, and Allison offered a ride to Brian. He turned down the ride, the thought of being in the car alone with them made his stomach want to crawl up his throat.
He could barely stand to look at the other club members and it was only Wednesday. Allison had clearly noticed something was wrong when Brain merely gave her a halfhearted salute and plastic smile instead of his usual grin and hug. The girl had given him a confused and stern look, the kind that demanded to know what was wrong, but Brian had seen Larry and Mat in the crowd and made a getaway to the two nerds.
It was the first day in six weeks that he didn't acknowledge the rest of the breakfast club, so really he should have expected it. It didn't stop him from flinching and trying to become as small as possible when he felt the strong grip on his shoulder. He spun, his back to the open locker, expecting to see a jock or burnout there to bully him, to tease him, to shove him in the locker.
There was a burnout standing there but his gaze wasn't cruel, it was protective and a bit outraged. "What's going on, Johnson?" Bender asked, voice gruff. It was clear that he had cut his smoking break short to track Brian down. It was unlikely that was his choice, as Bender definitely did not care about the nerd he got stuck being friends with, one of the girls most likely coerced him into it. "Someone giving you problems? You know we told you to tell us if something happened, Dumbass. Andy and I will take care of it."
Brian could hear the annoyance in Bender's tone, knowing it wasn't directed at him Brian relaxed a bit. He went to lean against the locker, forgetting he had left it open and stumbled straight into it. Bender snorted and closed the locker.
"Ya know? I kinda see the appeal to this, Dork." Bender teased.
Brian let out a sarcastic laugh. "You're so funny, Bender. Just hilarious." He smacked against the locker. "Will you let me out now?"
Bender hummed, pretending to think about it in the over dramatic manner that he applied to all his antics. "I don't think I will, at least, not until I know what's got your panties in a twist?"
Brian groaned. "It's just private stuff, Bender."
"Not very private," Bender commented, "if even Sporto noticed it through his thick head."
Brian winced. "Sorry, I'll try and keep it under wraps."
"You sure are dumb for a geek," Bender sounded annoyed again, this time at Brian. "You somehow managed to say the exact opposite of what we want you to do!"
"Well then what do you want me to do?" Brian asked. Actual confusion in his tone and Bender felt the urge to bang his head against the locker. He opened it instead.
"We want you to talk to one of us, literally any of us. I would prefer it to be, ya know, not me but if it's what you gotta do then go for it, Big Bri."
Brian stared for a minute then his eyes darted around the empty hallway and his shoe scuffed the floor as he twitched his leg.
"I have something to tell you guys at the meeting. It's really important and you might be angry or hate me or anything so I just want you all to know that what I have to say means quite a bit, to me that is, and I don't want to lose you." Brian had switched from his nervous twitch to full on prey mode, tensed and ready to bolt at the slightest sign of a predator pounce.
Bender was frowning, scanning Brian, sizing him up. "Did you kill someone?" He asked in a dead serious tone. Stunned, Brian didn't answer. Bender took a deep breath in through his nose. "Alright, well did they deserve it, at least?"
"I didn't kill anyone, John."
"That is surprisingly reliving."
"I'm going to tell you guys on Saturday. I just need time to figure out how."
Bender looked like he wanted to say more but shrugged, his emotional capacity reached for the day, for the rest of the fucking week honestly. "Whatever you say, Dork. Just stop worrying the ladies and Sporto."
So, Brian actually made an effort to act normal. He grinned and nodded at Andy, waved at Claire, and gave Allison her hug. It wasn't hard to forget his nerves and settle into the routine with his friends. It wasn't hard until Saturday morning, that is.
Brian woke up already feeling the pressure in his stomach threatening to spill out. He shook it off. He could do this. He had to. It would eat him alive if he didn't tell anyone, it would stick to his soul like a leech, sucking out whatever happiness he managed to find. It would be better to tell them and deal with the consequences, it would be more bearable than the feeling of soul crushing silence he was stuck in now.
He got dressed in record time. He ate quickly and only a small amount, least he vomit like he felt he would. He was ready long before Bender would be out of detention, long before the others would question his whereabouts. He opened picked up his phone and called his boyfriend. None of his family would need the phone this early.
"Hi, It's Brian," Brian said. The person who answered the phone, mostly likely one of his boyfriend's older brothers, told him to wait while he got 'lover boy'.
"Hello?" The familiar voice rang out from the other end of the line and Brian felt a comfortable cool settle into his fired nerves.
"Hey, Babe."
"Hi, Stud. It's early for a call."
"I know, I'm just anxious. I'm going to tell them today."
"The breakfast club?"
"Yeah, Claire and Alli. Andy… Bender."
"Do you think it's safe to tell them?"
Brian faltered. Was it safe? There was a chance that Andy would hate him, maybe try to change him, maybe beat him. Bender… if Bender disapproved then he may just attack Brian, may beat him to a bloody pulp.
"Brian, you don't have to do this."
"I...I think I do. For myself."
A deep sigh from the other end of the line and then a perky voice spoke up. "Then I believe this is going to be okay, Stud."
Passing the time was easy while on the phone with his partner. It wasn't until it was time to go that Brian felt the nausea returning. He ignored it and focused on driving, just have to get there and tell them. Just have to focus, have to drive.
He was the last one to arrive, entering Allison's home with a single knock. The rest of the club was spread out among the living room, cans of soda covering the table and cigarette smoke filling the air.
"There he is!" Bender cheered. "We were worried you bailed on us." The others all rolled their eyes at Bender's mischief and greeted Brian. Brian exchanged pleasantries but he could feel the curiosity from the others. It wasn't long until Bender spoke up, never one to beat around the bush. "So, what's the big secret in Bri's life?"
"Well," Brian started. He had rehearsed and debated and wrote them all down and practiced all of his options in search of the best way to say it. In search of the best way to come out. Now that he was sitting here every single one of those ways had vacated his head and he felt frozen. "I'm not exactly… single. Like you all thought."
Andy and Bender exchanged amused looks. "Oh another girlfriend? Is this one from Canada?" Bender teased. Claire snickered even as she gave him a disapproving look.
"Shut it, Bender. Let him talk. Go ahead, Bri." Andy gave Brian a look that held thinly veiled mirth at the nerd's expense.
Brian blushed red and offered a shaky smile. "No, not from Canada. From Missouri, but moving here for college. At the end of this month."
The other three raised disbelieving eyebrows but Allison leaned toward Brian. "Do you love her?"
Brian couldn't stop the dopey grin from crossing his face. "He's amazing. He's always there for me when I need him, he knows me like the back of his hand. He's perfect and I really do love him. So much."
There was silence then Claire spoke. "Him?" The question posed from the princess's lips brought the world crashing down around Brian. This was the chance. He stuck with it here, or he backed out. He could say it was an accident or a lie or just pretend or he could stick to his word.
Brian nodded, determined. "Him," he confirmed. Allison leaned back against the couch, a smug smirk on her face, as if she had just completed her mission. "I'm gay," Brian clarified, meeting the other's eyes one by one.
"Why?" Andy asked at the same time Claire asked, "How?" and Bender stayed miraculously quiet.
"Because I like boys, not only do I find them attractive I also love them and wish to have a relationship with them. It's not uncommon, although most people find it disturbing," Brian explained. "I didn't chose it. I tried to like girls, I tried so hard but I only ever felt that way about guys."
"It was obvious," Allison said quietly. Everyone turned to look at her. She shrugged. "On the first day we all met he kept staring at Bender with sparkles in his eyes. He got hot and bothered at the mental image of Andy in tights. He's not very good at hiding it."
Andy shifted, uncomfortable at the thought if Brian being hot and bothered by him. "That's… that's gross," He vocalized. Brian flinched back as if Andy had punched him as hard as possible and the jock quickly reiterated. "Not, not that you like guys. If that's who you are then, uh, yeah. You go for it man. Just, uh, not me, yeah? I'm not… I don't think like that."
"He's not going to try and fucking grope you, Sporto," Bender spoke up. He was obviously rolling his eyes behind his shades. "He clearly said he has a boy toy already."
Brian flushed. "I know you two aren't gay and that's fine with me!" He rushed out. "I'm sorry I stared at you but you're really attractive and I couldn't help it."
Bender snorted, cutting Brian off. "Don't apologize for staring at two perfect specimens such as us. I'm surprised you managed to go without touching yourself, I mean yikes look at Sporto over here."
Andy scoffed and knocked the arm Bender had slung over his shoulder away. It was a playful move, nonchalant and while Brian didn't fool himself into thinking it was going to be completely like normal he did think that maybe it would be okay.
