praetor magus
April 2013
Mystic Falls, 1903
"Sangima Maerma, Bernos Asescenda."
One hand on her torn side, the other tangled up with Kai's around the Ascendant, she sang the words of the incantation and watched the colours of the Borealis mingle with the red blood in the snow.
She was bleeding, and she was probably dying, the only thing keeping her upright was his arm around her, his body supporting her. He fared barely better. The revival spell she had done on him an hour ago was wearing off and she could feel, from where her cheek rested on his chest, that his heart was slowing.
But all these registered absent-mindedly in her head. Even the bodies littered in a half-circle around her, stirring slightly, barely got her attention.
"Sangima Maerma, Bernos Asescenda."
She was lost in the magic, in the mingling of their auras as they channelled each other, pouring everything they could into the spell. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. The strands of their individual magic seemed to knot into a tight rope that tugged at something deep, down inside her.
She felt like if her soul was filling, stretching, like skin tight enough to rupture. Did he feel this too? She wondered, even as the lights changed over her head. Even as she could see, vaguely, noting with academic interest, that two of the figures around them were rising.
The question was still echoing in her head, as the colours around blended into white. Their bodies were falling upwards, into the white.
They were Ascending.
June 2014
Portland
Did he feel it too? Bonnie thought now, staring at Kai Parker from across the room. That pain like knives through one's heart, like if she had fallen into a pit of spikes that had shredded her soul into so many pieces that no matter how she tried, she could never quite put herself back the way she was?
All the King's men and all the King's horses…
The air between them seemed electrified, crackling with all the bad memories and bad blood they shared.
The urge to run – to him or away – had not left her and she just leaned against the wall, paralyzed and dizzy, torn between the two overwhelming impulses.
He had looked almost peaceful, the short moment she had watched him unobserved. But now he too leaned against the wall by the window, the child's head on his shoulder, and there was a storm of feeling in his eyes.
Then Liv touched Bonnie's shoulder and Bonnie jumped.
"Oh, thank god you're here," Liv was saying. "Bonnie, I was trying to tell you not to worry. He usually pops over during the week."
Kai turned his gaze from Bonnie to shake his head slowly at his sister. He turned a little so that she could see that the baby's eyes were almost shutting. His face softened as well.
Something inside Bonnie seemed to break a little.
Liv gave him a huge grin and two thumbs up. Then hooking her arm through Bonnie's, she half-led, half-dragged Bonnie out of the room.
Bonnie could feel his eyes follow her as she left.
Martha – or Rachel – was in the playpen, knocking against the bars with a wooden spoon. Bonnie kept an eye on her – or rather stared in her general direction while she tried to control the wild thoughts running through her head.
He's here.
Her heart had stopped pounding at least. She had got that much under control.
"I ordered pizza. I'm going to call for an extra box now that Kai is around."
Bonnie was sitting on the counter, with a clear view of the living area and the baby's playpen. Liv was flitting through the kitchen, preparing the baby's meal.
"Not that I mind," Liv continued. "He can have all the pizza. He's great with them."
"With the pizza?" Bonnie asked, her mind completely scattered.
Kai.
Kai is here.
Liv gave her a sceptical look. "With the twins? Duh. They just love him. It's not really surprising when you think about it. He and Jo did spend more time with us than our parents did, what with running the coven. There's this old lady that sits for the twins. She knew us from way back and she told me once that our mom would pop out a baby then hand it over to Jo and Kai right in the delivery room. Gross."
Maybe that's why he killed half of his siblings, Bonnie thought hysterically. He got tired of diaper duty.
"What's up with you?"
"What?" Bonnie asked, coming out of her thoughts to see Liv looking at her crossly.
"You're all spaced out. You're not doing drugs or anything, are you?"
Bonnie burst out into incredulous laughter. "What?"
"I'm not one to judge but you're on baby duty right now so no chemicals. Not even the juju stuff."
"Juju stuff? I'm guessing you have a stash then," Bonnie said wryly, only half joking. Right now, anything to switch off her brain sounded great.
Especially as in the next moment, she felt the back of her neck burn.
She knew. She knew without turning that he was right behind her.
"Everyone keeps a stash. Raid Jo's before you go. She has the best stuff."
His deep voice was mocking. Bonnie stared fixedly at the baby in front of her, and worked on her breathing. The heart that she had just got under control was beating rapidly again.
"Want some pizza, Kai?" Liv asked.
"Don't you ever eat proper food here?"
"Actually we had a whole home-cooked dinner last night. Too bad you weren't invited," Liv said sweetly as she walked around the island and into the living room, baby bottle and napkin in hand.
"Not if it was your cooking," he drawled.
Liv just snorted, as she picked up the baby and, cooing, walked to the high chair in the far corner.
The silence between the two in the kitchen stretched out painfully.
Bonnie fidgeted in her seat, feeling his gaze all but branding her neck. She sighed with relief, when she felt it lift. She heard him moving around the kitchen, then he was on the phone with the pizza place. His voice was low, barely audible but she felt every cadence on her skin.
She snuck a quick glance at her distorted reflection on the smooth shiny surface of one of the appliances on the counter. Loose strands had escaped from her once-neat bun. She smoothed her hair quickly, then frowned at her outfit. There was nothing she could do about her scruffy jeans and faded old T-shirt.
A moment later, she almost groaned at her silliness.
The call was ending soon. She clenched her fists tightly in her lap and took a deep breath. She turned to face him just as he was hanging up the phone.
Kai was already waiting for her, his grey eyes locking into her face at once.
He looked older, Bonnie thought, forcing herself to study him. A while ago when she saw him carrying his niece, his features had been relaxed, almost peaceful – well as peaceful as they could be in the circumstance. Now she could see that his face had grown stern, his jaw harder. There were lines at the corner of his eyes and mouth that were begging for someone's fingers to reach over and smoothen them out. The strands of white hair that had sprung up that night, now stood in stark relief to his otherwise thick, dark hair. She couldn't see the top of his head from where she sat, but she knew that the white streaked in a zig-zag pattern across his head.
She looked away. That was enough. That was all that she could bear.
"It's good to see you again, Bonnie," he said softly.
She shivered at the sound of her name in his voice. She had to clear her throat before she could speak. "You, too."
Despite everything, that was the truth.
"Of course, the circumstances could have been better," he added, wryly.
She grabbed the opening with both hands. "Did Jo call you? Or did the" – despite herself, she made a face – "council give you their recommendation?"
"Yes, and yes. You really shouldn't have lost your temper."
She let out her breath in a sharp hiss. "Why does everybody keep saying that?" she growled.
Kai snorted. "Because it's true."
"But it's up to you, right? You have the final say on this."
His face was instantly grave again. He nodded.
"So?" She pressed at once. "Are you going to help us?"
He walked towards her, and she leaned back, instinctively. He stopped, staring at her, and she felt the colour rise in her face.
"Sorry," she muttered.
Kai shrugged, grabbed the stool across the counter from her and sat, his arms folded over each other, and resting on the table. His sleeves were rolled to his elbows and she could see the muscles rippling beneath veined skin, and the dark hairs coating it. His arms were bulkier than she remembered. She recalled how they looked upstairs, when he was easily walking with his niece against his chest.
She had a clear view of his hands, the trademark black wristband and the rings on his fingers. Sometime in the past year, he had replaced the three that he had used up and acquired one more.
She hated that she could tell.
She caught her hands twitching. Blushing, she pulled them into her lap, locking her fingers together.
He gave her an indecipherable look, then shifted his gaze, skidding past her face to rest somewhere just beside her left ear.
For a moment, neither of them said a word.
He spoke first. "What's going on in Mystic Falls?"
She looked from his hands to his face in surprise. "You just said-"
"Yes, I got a full report from the council. And Jo told me what she knew. I even spoke to Alaric and got the version he had from Damon Salvatore. I've read the newspapers and the police reports, too."
Her eyebrows went up. "All in one day?" She was impressed, despite herself.
Was she imagining it or did the tips of his ears go slightly pink?
But when he spoke, his voice was clinical. "The Gemini have been aware of the goings-on in your town for some time. What I want now is your version of events."
She swallowed, suddenly nervous. She felt like if she was back in that hall, facing the council. "OK."
"When did the heretics first appear?"
"A month ago yesterday. They were first spotted near Fell's Church. Their first few sightings, they wore odd clothes – I guess whatever get-up they had while they were in 1903. Damon and Stefan thought they were just a pair of old-time vampires coming out of hibernation. That was enough reason for them to worry."
Damon's first call had come towards the end of the Spring semester, the day Bonnie got the news that at the last possible minute, she'd been bumped off the waitlist for Dr Malraux's seminar. She could still vividly remember walking triumphantly out of the deparment office, then seeing the name Damon Salvatoreflash on her screen and pressing the ignore button at once. The calls kept coming, as well as messages from him and his brother and she had kept ignoring them.
A year ago, she had vowed to herself to stay away from the Salvatores, Mystic Falls and supernatural power plays in general; and she had been pleased with herself at how long she had kept that promise.
Now she'd always wonder: if she had picked that first call, maybe April Young and Ronnie Martin would still be alive.
"It took a few kills to figure out what they were, what we were up against. They moved into an abandoned mansion somewhere on the upper-scale side of town, and barricaded it with wards. I've never been able to pinpoint its exact location. They come out once in a while to hunt and feed." She grimaced. "You can be sure if you see one of them lurking around, dead bodies will soon crop up. And they're hard to miss. They dress pretty normally now but a pair of white, creepy ginger-heads stand out anywhere." He made a sudden movement. She bit her lip, then continued. "I-I recognized the man myself, from the battle and earlier from when I was attacked at your apartment. I don't think I've ever met the woman before."
That sudden movement – he had betrayed something. "D-do you recognize them?" she asked softly, hating herself even as she did so.
One of his hands clenched. "I guess you're asking if I recognized any of my hosts from the scintillating time I spent enjoying their 1903 hospitality?" he asked and his voice was like ice.
Bonnie closed her eyes, inhaled, and opened them. "Yes," she whispered.
"Tell me about the first attack."
He hadn't answered her question and she didn't have the nerve to ask it again.
"A pair of high school seniors. One of them was a mundane girl called April Young. I-I knew her, growing up. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She and her boyfriend Ronnie were walking home from a game. She was a cheerleader; and he played in the rival school's team."
Bonnie had been in the library, finishing up a term paper when the headline had flashed via a pop-up on her console. She didn't even remember turning in that paper or the grade it got her. What she did remember was the nausea that had had hit her reading April's obituary. Then again during the phone conversation with Matt later.
She had driven to Mystic Falls that evening.
"The town's been relatively safe since the start of the year. This was the first supernatural incident and nobody expected it. Their bodies were found after searching for two days. They were drained of blood."
"And you knew this was your heretics and not anyone from your friendly neighbourhood nest of vampires because…?"
She ignored the barb. "Whoever drained these kids of blood, also drained them of their essence. They had siphoned their auras for magic. The bodies that were found were aged. It was clothes, then dental records that identified them."
He nodded. "That's their M.O. alright. Magic isn't just in supernaturals like witches, or vampires or werewolves or banshees or any the other freaks. Everything alive has magic, including mundanes. That's why we can channel them, if we have to. But it's wrapped up in life and blood. So the heretics take everything when they feed. It's not very efficient though. Better to feed from a vampire, or a werewolf. But the best thing, the real piece de resistance, is a full-bodied witch. Blood. Power. Magic. Like a triple layer burger. Take a bite from all three at once. Or you can peel the layers apart, pick and choose. Breakfast on blood. Power for lunchtime. A supper of magic. If you're smart and not too greedy, you give your snack enough time between feedings to grow strong enough but not too strong. Just enough for that next juicy bite."
His eyes were filled with a stark faraway look.
"Kai," she whispered, her heart pounding. Unconsciously, her hands had reached out towards him on the table.
He didn't hear her. "And you have to be careful because you have to break him, not too much or he won't last long but enough so you don't lose him. Sort of like a farm animal. You do it right and you can keep him alive for a long time. Feed a whole coven of heretics with just the one witch."
Goosebumps were crawling over her flesh. She was almost choking with horror.
"Kai… Please."
He came to, with a start. Something passed over his face, too quickly for her to read. Then the shutters fell.
"Did they keep going after mundanes?" he asked brusquely.
But her emotions were still too raw. Her heart hadn't stopped pounding. Her eyes stung. She looked away and kept blinking furiously until they stopped.
He had to ask the question again before she could even understand it.
"Rarely," she whispered, still staring down, forcing herself to stay on topic. "They have a clear preference for supernatural beings. After April, they took out two wizards, a couple of senior citizens that moved to town last year. Gabriel and Victor Briggs. A bunch of vampire co-eds living in a Whitmore dorm. Then there was a party at the Lockwood manor where they attacked. They killed two men and one woman with the werewolf gene. Two were relatives of Tyler Lockwood that just popped over the weekend for this shindig. One of the men was a fellow cadet from the Academy. Wrong place. Wrong time. Probably didn't even know what he was. A week later, we lost one of our vampires when we tried to trap them. Next day, there was a massacre at a bank, all human casualties. That was the only time they attacked humans in Mystic Falls since April Young. It was around that time that we started fighting with vervain. It seems to have worked … for the moment."
"We?"
"Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Matt, Tyler and I."
"Scooby Gang in action. Finding solutions to problems they create in three episodes or less."
She glared at him for that and he glared right back.
The lights in the room flickered.
"Hey, guys!"
Bonnie almost jumped out of her skin at Liv's loud whisper. She turned to see the blonde girl, standing with the baby in her arms, and a look on her face that said she clearly wished she was anywhere but here.
"Baby's sleeping. I'll just… go away for a while, OK?"
Bonnie nodded, tried to smile reassuringly at her but knew it probably came out as a wince.
Liv paused at the door, then said over her shoulder. "Try not to kill each other in Jo's kitchen. It's baby-proof and vampire-proof, but not witchy woo murder-proof."
Kai snorted. She smirked back and left.
Liv's words had done something to him. She could see the tension slipping off his shoulders as he pushed away from the counter and walked to the fridge. "I need a drink. Want one?"
She shook her head, then realized he couldn't see that. "No. Baby watch, remember?"
He snickered. "That never stopped Alaric. Or, for that matter, Jo." But he only brought out one can. He took a swig from it, still standing by the fridge.
Bonnie watched the play of muscles under his shirt when he did, remembered how they felt under his skin.
Her fingers spasmed again and she stared down at them in surprise. She hadn't realized when she placed them on the table, but they were there now. Her arms were outstretched as if she had been trying to reach for something.
Or someone.
She pulled her hands back to her, clasped them together. Then she changed her mind, and wrapped them around her body.
Kai took another swig before he came back to the counter.
Sitting across from him now, both of them with drinks at hand, she was suddenly reminded of a year ago, meeting with him like this. She could almost still smell the coffee in that café. She had been so tense, ready to fight or fly, as she watched him warily, barely touching her glass of water. He, on the other hand, ate through his meal like if he didn't have a care in the world, his face alternating between mirth and gravity with his characteristic and uncanny unpredictability.
Despite what Damon had said, Bonnie hadn't really believed that he would help them without demanding some hefty price in exchange. His 'fee' had caught her off-guard.
"Come on, it'll be fun."
Staring at him now, she had a clear view of the sharp emotion that flashed across his face and she knew that he, too, was remembering that day. He shifted sideways on the stool so he was now staring out the window and his face was partially in profile to her.
She wondered if it was as disturbingly painful for him to look at her as it was for her to look at him.
"Your heretic problem. I'm guessing you must have tried a few tricks before you came here cap in hand?" He asked now.
Once again, Bonnie ignored the blatant attempt to get a rise from her. "We've tried everything. The usual stake and fire. Spells from any Grimoires we got hold of. Gilbert devices. And, of course, that's only when we manage to get close enough to attack. But we keep fighting them with magic and that just makes them stronger. I triangulated their mansion once, and Tyler got the idea to booby-trap it with dynamite."
Kai looked impressed. "Obviously, it didn't work."
"We lost Enzo that night. A few days later, they attacked a bank downtown, and dropped his body with the rest of the corpses." She felt cold just remembering. "It was a message. They didn't feed from the humans. Just sealed them in the bank and torched it."
Did she imagine the sudden anger that crossed his face, so quickly that she only barely caught it?
She must have because he just asked curiously. "Enzo who?"
"One of our own. An old friend of Damon's."
"And an old friend of Damon's mother." He added. He noticed her surprise because he elaborated. "I remember him now. He was the vampire you said you lost?" he asked, concluding correctly.
Bonnie nodded.
He glanced at her quickly, then away. "What about you? Any up close and personal encounters? Anyone tried for that yummy Bennett essence?"
She shuddered. It was over a year, but she still had vivid memories of that second nightmare visit to 1903. "I've been lucky. We've all been lucky, and smart. We knew they were hard to kill. Just how hard, we didn't realize at first. But we always knew enough to always attack as a group. Enzo… fell behind."
"So they've never tried to siphon you?"
She looked at him suspiciously. There was an undertone of persistence beneath the deceptive casualness of his question.
"No," she answered, wondering what he was leading to.
But he said nothing further, just kept staring away from her.
After a moment of waiting, she shrugged and went on. "The only thing that works is vervain. It seems to have the same effect on them as it does with ordinary vampires – it weakens them. So we started putting it everywhere – in the water, planted it in parks, on lawns, layered branches over fences and walls. Matt had this brilliant idea of mixing the powder with house paint. That really helped."
"Vervain drowns their vampire auras and they draw their magic from their vampirism."
"Yes, that's what we realised. They've stopped haunting the town. Now they go further upstate for prey. We've read the reports: it fits their profile. A few mundanes. Extremely aged in death. But more often, someone with a werewolf gene or someone who was clearly a vampire or probably some other supernatural human or creature, but clearly not a mundane. If we can keep this up for the next few months, maybe we can even drive them out of the town completely. I don't know why they keep coming back. But eventually they have to go. I just don't know how long it will take or who else will die before that happens."
The can was half way up Kai's mouth as she was speaking. Now he placed it back on the table without drinking. "Drive them," he said slowly. "Where?"
Bonnie shifted uneasily. "Anywhere. Out of Virginia, we hope but I'd settle for outside the Greater Falls-Whitmore area."
"And then what happens? They become someone else's problem? Another town, this one without a Founders's Council? As incompetent as yours is, at least you have a system for handling rogue supernatural elements. What do you think will happen when the heretics go somewhere they can have a free for all?"
She was acutely aware that it wasn't a fully thought out plan but – considering everything – his question rankled, and she threw it back at him. "Maybe by that time, you Gemini might actually get off your asses and do something about it?"
He turned then, looked her full in the face. His expression was incredulous. "You seem to think this is our problem."
"Isn't it yours?"
His lips thinned. "Is that your angle then?"
There was a challenge in his gaze. And for a moment, she glared back at him, ready to get into it with him there and then.
Then the moment passed, and she backed down. She wasn't going down that road with him.
Not again.
"What I meant was," she asked, willing herself to speak calmly, "aren't you Gemini supposed to be some sort of," she struggled to remember Damon's words, "'supernatural police'? When the travellers were in Mystic Falls, it was the Gemini's problem, wasn't it? Your coven locked up the heretics before. Can't you do it again?"
"When the Ascendants were destroyed," he reminded her, "the empty Prison Worlds were destroyed as well."
"Surely, there are other Prison Worlds in existence."
"There's a reason why their existence is shrouded in secrecy, even from one Praetor to the next. Maybe you didn't get the memo, but I for one learnt my lesson the hard way about locking people up in prison worlds they don't belong to."
If his words were meant to make her flinch, then he succeeded. His eyes seemed to burn into her face, watching her every cringe. But her guilt was also spiked with fury.
How dare he put this all on her?
"Fine," she snarled. "Make a new one then."
"Yes, please add that to your online Gemini shopping cart," he said, his voice soft and furious. "Item: Alternate dimension. Quantity: one. Size: the Earth. We don't make them en masse, Bonnie. And considering the jailbreak rate in the past century is currently at one hundred per cent, the Council believes they are a waste of time and magical energy. I agree."
His sarcasm made her burn. She gripped her glass fiercely and barely restrained herself from hurling its contents in his face.
Barely restrained herself from hurling at him and scratching his eyes out.
She must have shown some of her anger in her face because his gaze turned wary. "Have you tried other means of solving your problem?" he asked, a tad more courteously.
"I just told you-"
"I mean non-violent means. Talking to them, reaching some sort of understanding? Striking a deal?"
Bonnie stared. "You are joking, right? They murdered two kids the first day they showed up in town."
He boggled his eyes mockingly. "And this is a problem for… whom exactly? Last time I checked, none of your Scooby Gang had their hands clean. Do you really want to play the 'who has the longest rap sheet' game with your track record?"
"I've never killed an innocent," she said sharply. "Everyone I've gone after deserved it," she added, meaningfully. "Everyone."
A muscle in his jaw ticked.
"You're right, Bonnie. You're perfect. Not a black mark in your book. You only just enable the murderers in your inner circle."
"How dare-"
His voice rose. "Oh Caroline, you ate half the freshman class when you turned off your humanity switch. But that's OK, you lost your mom." His mimicry of her inflection was irritatingly uncanny.
Her face burned.
"Oh Damon, you murdered your unborn niece and both her parents. But that's OK, nothing says 'I'm sorry' like blueberry fucking pancakes."
"Shut up!" She screamed.
He did. Took a gulp of beer and banged the can on the table loudly.
Her eyes were stinging again and she blinked rapidly. "Who are you to sit in judgement over anybody?" she hissed.
"The leader of the Gemini coven. You came to me, remember?"
"I did. So tell me how to kill these monsters and we never have to speak to each other again."
The sound of metal crumpling drew her eyes to his hand. He had squashed the can in his fist. The muscle in his jaw was ticking so rapidly now it was practically telling time.
Overhead, the lights were flickering again.
He stood abruptly, walked quickly to the window.
It probably took a full minute but the lights finally stopped blinking.
"It doesn't matter if you know the spell," he said at last, so low, she almost missed it.
She nearly screamed in frustration. "Just tell me."
"It won't make any difference, Bonnie! You can't kill them even if you knew how. You aren't built for it."
She laughed, short and bitter. "You'll be surprised at what I can handle."
"I've seen what you can handle, remember?" he said lowly.
Bonnie inhaled sharply. It was a simple enough question but it sent her reeling. She stared at his back with her heart thudding.
"Or have you forgotten the cost?"
Maybe she had. There were a lot of things she had forced herself to forget – and for good reasons.
Although there were other things she simply couldn't remember because she hadn't been there.
Not for the first time, the old anger rose up in her:
He had no right taking her out of that fight.
She jumped off from her seat and walked over to Kai in sharp, angry steps. He turned as she came close, and stared warily at her hands which were balled into fists at her sides.
"You're taking it out on them, aren't you?" She whispered, fiercely. The thought formed almost as she asked it.
"What are you saying, Bonnie?" he asked, and there was a warning in his voice.
Don't go there. Don't you dare.
She dared. "Not helping my town. Letting them rot at the hands of these heretics. You knew for a month and you did nothing. So much for you changing. So much for us being even," she scoffed. "You're punishing me. This is you teaching me a lesson, isn't it?"
He scoffed, shook his head, tried to turn away. "This is me having a better understanding than you what is at stake since you clearly have an inflated opinion of y-"
She rushed around him, put herself between him and the window. "Isn't it, Kai?" she all but yelled, getting as close to him as possible.
He glared down at her. Then he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the window in a sudden movement that left her breathless.
"You listen to me, Bonnie Bennett." His face was so near that his breath washed over hers. She could taste the alcohol in it. "I am the Praetor Magus of the Gemini and that means I literally hold the life of every single warlock, witch and witchling of my coven in my hands. Whatever I decide to do is going to be in the best interest of my people. Nothing more. Nothing less."
Absent-mindedly, she noticed that the lights were flickering again.
Her heart was pounding again, and her lungs were not working properly, she felt breathless, almost dizzy. But she lifted her chin and looked at him squarely. Her mouth twisted into a sarcastic smile. "Yeah. Right."
His rings dug into her skin as his grip tightened, painfully and he stepped closer. She could practically feel his words on her face. "I don't put my personal interests before the interests of my coven anymore, Bonnie. I learnt that lesson the hard way."
I'll go if you go.
They were breathing heavily now, their eyes boring into each other. His gaze dropped lower, to her mouth. Instinctively, she licked her lips and he swallowed, his Adam's apple jumping in his throat. Her own gaze went to the crow's feet she had noticed before and she felt her hand start rising up to smoothen them.
Bonnie yanked herself out of his grip.
Kai's arms stayed in position for a few moments, his hands clutching the empty air, then he lowered them slowly.
He turned to face her and they stared at each other, both still breathing heavily.
"So you're not going to help us?" she asked finally, and even in her own ears, it sounded more like a plea than a dare.
Shutters fell over his face.
"What do you think, Bonnie?"
She nodded softly, more to herself than him. Then she turned her face away because she couldn't bear to look at him. Then turned back because she couldn't bear not to.
His eyes were stormy, his face riddled with more emotions than she wanted to understand.
There were about a hundred things she wanted to say to him.
She walked around him and out of the room.
It took almost half an hour before the lights stopped flickering.
April 2013
Mystic Falls
She was swimming in an ocean of magic, silver eddies floating over her head as she felt more than she heard the echo of spells. A familiar face, pale-skinned, and dark-haired seemed to peer through the shadows at her – and she felt her heart swell with fear, then she was sinking further into the depths.
She came to slowly, her mind breaking out of her swirling dreams like a diver resurfacing. Her eyes blinked slowly up at the familiar ceiling above, then she turned her head carefully to take in the yellow window curtains, the matching furniture, and her winter wear on the floor.
The Salvatore's boarding house. She was lying on her bed, in what had been her room during her stay in 1994.
Was she back there? She sat up at once, and felt dizzy. Her heart was already jumping, panicking, when she heard voices from the door.
She turned to see his tall figure, half-blocking the doorway. From around his broad shoulders, she could make out a familiar female figure – dark hair, white jacket.
Dr. Jo Laughlin.
Josette Parker.
"-needs rest. Magic and medicine can only do so much. And come to the hospital. You need a transfusion, Kai."
"If I can stand and walk…"
"You're going to drop to the floor the moment I close this door."
"I forgot how good you are at this, Jo. The concerned doctor slash sister act. Impressive. If I didn't know better, I'd think you actually gave a damn about me."
"Kai-"
"I'd give you a hefty tip but I think my wallet's somewhere in the turn of the last century. Thanks so much for coming. Bye!"
She was still talking when he slammed the door in her face.
He paused a moment, then he fell to the floor like a ninepin.
Tentatively, Bonnie reached for her magic and felt it, weak and rattled underneath her skin. And, she realized with a mix of relief and regret, it was just her own. She had used up the last of her Expression magic.
Pushing back that thought for another time, she scanned the room for a weapon, or anything that could improvise for one.
"You know, I can practically hear you thinking of a way to attack me?" She started at Kai's voice.
He was still sitting on the floor in front of her, leaning on her footboard, but he had turned his head to stare up at her.
"You have to make up your mind what you want to do with me: slay me or save me? Because if it's the former, you botched your plan. Unless," he made a face, "you brought me back to finish the job yourself. Is this a case of 'no one can kill me but you' because that's kinda hot."
He looked marginally better than he had a few minutes – or hours? or days? She had no idea how much time had passed between leaving the prison world and now – ago. The puncture wounds on his neck had closed, and the paper-white complexion had filled with a bit of colour. He was still pale though, she thought. Dr. Laughlin was right. He needed blood.
Wincing, he pulled himself to his knees, then dragged himself to sit on the foot of her bed. She skidded all the way to the headboard, clutching the blanket with one hand and her magic with the other.
He noticed.
"I'm really flattered but right now, I can't endanger a mouse," he said bitterly, and grimaced.
Bonnie hoped he was in considerable pain.
"How long have we been back? Where is Damon? Elena?" she fired him with questions.
"A few hours. Good question. Where are they, Bonnie? I distinctly remember you threatening me with the fact that your vamp pals were waiting for you on this side, ready to rip out my throat if I pulled a Crocodile Bondee on you." He snickered darkly. "Get it?"
She glared at him stonily, determined not to even blink at being caught in her bluff, or to let her disappointment show.
Because of some convoluted reasons involving Elena and the Cure, Damon had wanted Bonnie to bring back Lily's 'family' as well – a task that Bonnie had been against long before she understood just what that 'family' was. She had kept him out of her plans, leaving only a message at the very last minute before she went into the 1994 Prison, asking that he come to the Salvatore House to wait out her return. She had been hoping that despite their disagreement, he'd have her back.
Clearly, she had underestimated how disappointed, furious even, Damon had been over Bonnie refusing to help Lily.
Kai's glare had narrowed, turned shrewd and she broke, and looked away.
To her surprise, he didn't crow. "Whatever," he said brusquely. "This place was empty when we got back. I barely managed to lug you up here and call Jo. Turns out that apart from her mad medical skills, the good doctor also carries along a vial of vamp blood for emergencies. That's why you're not swimming in your own blood, by the way."
Bonnie touched her side, the memory of canines tearing into her body flashed through her brain. She lifted her blouse and touched the skin. It was unblemished. There was no sign of her ordeal. Even the blood that must have dried there had been cleaned away.
She glanced at him then and caught his eyes fixed on the patch of skin she had revealed, his mouth gaping slight, his face twisted into an expression she could only describe as yearning.
He saw her staring at him, and looked away, the tips of his ears reddening.
"You're welcome," he muttered.
"For what?" She snapped. "Asking Jo to fix me after I got bitten and siphoned saving your life? If anyone should be groveling with thanks, it's you."
His eyes snapped back at her, and she recoiled at the sudden fury in them. "I'd prostrate myself on the floor and crawl on my belly right now but I'm a little weak from being used as a blood bag for six weeks. If only I could remember how that happened." He scrunched his brow in pretend-confusion and then gasped dramatically, his eyes mockingly wide. "Oh wait, I remember! I was stuck in a prison world because you stabbed me and left me there to die!" He snarled the last sentence.
"Now doesn't that sound familiar?" It was Bonnie's turn to be sarcastic. "Because I remember you doing the exact same thing to me."
"So you wanted to punish me? Bit out of proportion, don't you think? I left you by yourself. You left me to be food to a bunch of monsters. It's not my fault that you broke after five months and tried to kill yourself. I was in that prison for eighteen years, Bonnie! You planned on doing the same thing to me. The only difference was I got out first. So stop acting like you're some kind of innocent victim!"
Bonnie lifted a hand and threw her magic at him. He caught it, threw it at the window and the glass shattered beneath it.
Then before she could summon another hex, he had leaned over and grabbed her wrists, holding them painfully in its grip.
"Let go of me!" she shouted.
"Use your magic against me, Bonster and I'll bleed it out of you."
She sneered. "So I'm the monster, Kai? Can you hear yourself? I did bleed for you today. I almost died getting you back!"
"Why? Because you felt guilty? Because you cared so much? Puh-leeze. You did it for Jo and the coven or I'd still be there, being passed around like a bowl of soup."
"You deserve worse! At least, I came back for you. Which was more than you ever did for me."
He laughed in her face, his eyes completely mad. "Semantics. I almost died trying to bring you back after stranding you there. You nearly died trying to bring me back after leaving me there. We're even, Bonster," and he said it like a threat. "All debts settled. All bets off."
"Even? I never owed you anything!" she snarled, struggling against his grip. "What the hell did you ever do for me but hurt me, and trick me, and abandon me?"
"Your birthday, Bonnie," he said through gritted teeth.
"What about my birthday?"
"Myself. Almost dying. Saving your life!"
She stopped struggling then to look at him, at the look of fury and hurt on his face. "What. the. hell. are you talking about, Kai?"
Impossibly, his face seemed to get angrier. For a heart-stopping moment, she thought he would siphon her. Then he froze, the anger melting away into confusion. Then shock. Then dawning realization.
He sat back, and her hands slipped out of his.
She pulled them to her chest at once, twisting them into the blanket that she wrapped protectively around her body.
"You… don't know?" he asked, slowly.
"Know what?" she said, trying to bite out the words but they only came out as confused as his did.
"Your birthday. When you tried to kill yourself. Didn't Damon or Elena or Jeremy Gilbert tell you what happened? What I…" he swallowed. "Didn't anyone tell you what I did?" he asked, very quietly.
"What did you do?"
He stared. "They didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"The spell. Jeremy Gilbert and I came to you. I tried sending everybody but it was too much. With him alone, we could just barely interact physically with your world. But boy, did that take major juice out of me. Then," he suddenly snorted, "to make things even more interesting, my baby sister ran a poker through me. There I am, bleeding all over Damon's kitchen, wondering how I survived the merge ceremony to be gutted by Livvie poo of all people. But I keep at the spell because you, Bonnie Bennett are five seconds away from carbon monoxide poisoning. Which is not a bad way to go, all things considered. I should know. I've tried them all." His smile was broken.
Something cold was filling Bonnie, her lungs, her pores. She felt like if she had been sleeping, and someone had grabbed her, thrown her into the deep end of the pool and now she was drowning.
"Jeremy Gilbert got to you in time to open the garage door."
She dragged herself out of the bed, almost stumbling onto the floor. He half-stood, trying to reach for her but she dodged his reach, limping backwards and away from him, needing to put as much distance between both of them as possible.
He was lying. He had to be lying.
She swallowed past the lump that was forming in her throat and told him that. "Stop lying."
"The map opened to Nova Scotia on the kitchen floor? Right where you needed it to be to get the idea to go for your ancestor's magic? How do you think that happened?"
"I thought – the wind… somehow…"
"The garage door that opened just in time to save your life? Did the wind do that too? That must have been some genius wind."
How had that garage door opened?
Bonnie had asked herself that question once, not too long ago; but this was not the answer she had expected. Or wanted.
"You're lying."
He shook his head, laughed bitterly. "Why would I lie? How can I lie about this?"
"To manipulate me. To get into my head."
"Ask Damon or Elena what happened that day. Ask Jeremy Gilbert, your boyfriend."
His voice snagged on the last word but Bonnie barely noticed. Too many thoughts were going through her head.
Damon had written the notes to Nova Scotia on the map. She had thanked him for them. He hadn't mentioned Kai. Or Jeremy. Between Caroline's and Stefan's humanity crisis and getting Lily out, she and Elena hadn't even talked about her time in the prison world.
And as for Jeremy – Bonnie hadn't had a proper conversation with Jeremy since she got back. They kept missing each other on the phone. Or in all fairness, she kept missing him, deliberately. What could she say to him? She didn't know who she was anymore, had stopped knowing for many months now. She needed to figure herself out before she could figure out who she was or could be to anyone else.
Kai was still talking. "It was your birthday. They were throwing a party." He laughed at that.
She hadn't known that. Why hadn't she been told that?
"I needed to send a note to Jo. I asked Elena. She asked for a favour. Damon wanted me to send a message to you. A trade. It was your birthday, he said, and he didn't even know if you knew."
"I did," Bonnie whispered, hoarsely, the memory of the pain of that returning.
A pressure in her head was building, threatening to burst out of her. She hurt. In her head. In her bones. Everything hurt.
"I was – I was counting days. I knew."
He swallowed hard before he continued again. She could see his Adam's apple bob violently.
"The Ascendant was too broken to use properly. But I tried to fix it to send them back."
"It was broken because you destroyed it!" She retorted, clutching at what was familiar. "Damon told me you destroyed it so that no one could ever use it again. You wanted me stuck there forever."
"I destroyed the Ascendant so that it couldn't be used to imprison me again."
"But you also wanted me trapped there, didn't you, Kai?"
A familiar expression passed over his face. A mixture of anger and hunger. It was the same way he had sometimes looked at her in the prison world. She remembered that day when she had dared him, and he had almost drained her of magic, only letting her go at the last possible moment. He had stared down at her like that then.
That had been the first time but it hadn't been the last.
"I'm right, aren't I?" She asked him now, her voice shaking. "You wanted to pay me back but you also wanted to keep me there like some kind of caged pet."
His fists clenched, unclenched on his knees, but he didn't look away. "I've changed, Bonnie. I'm not the same person who-"
"I don't care!" She cried. Everything hurt. She was stretched thin and a hair's breath from breaking into pieces. "It doesn't matter! None of it does. There's nothing you can ever do to make me forgive you."
Pain flashed across his face. Then he was on his feet and striding to her, backing her right against the wall.
Her magic hovered at her fingertips. You only got one chance with Kai Parker and she was ready to do considerable damage with hers.
But his only attack was with words.
"Fine." His voice was deep and dark like the ocean during a storm. "You and I, Bonnie? We're even now."
It sounded like a warning.
Then he was gone.
Bonnie sank to the floor, bent her head over her knees and sobbed.
A/N: Author's Note: Thank you so much to all my dear reviewers! Like I said, I'm glad for both praise and criticism because both are just as helpful. Please keep them coming! JemiCloisFan, Kai's name didn't pop up because as far as Liv's concerned, Bonnie hates him. And it's been a year since he left Mystic Falls and parted ways with Bonnie. She also doesn't have the same kind of relationship with Kai that Jo does.
Thank you so much to my dear betas thenameismaynard and magicsuckcr! You guys are the greatest! And if you haven't checked out By and Down by keenan24 here or any of killerwarlock at tumblr's RPs, you don't know what you're missing in your lives.
Finally, keep the BonKai flag flying!
