tag, Bonnie. you're It.
May 2013
She looked at his bared wrist with horror, even more so as she felt the veins on her face deepening, her strange new teeth cutting against her gums.
"Put that away," she said weakly.
It would have been easier if he was smiling, smirking, looking at her with any kind of mockery that would make the defiant stubbornness in her rise. But his face was dark with something like desperation. When she didn't reach for his wrist, he tilted back his neck so that she could see the thick vein jumping underneath his skin.
It took everything not to launch herself at him there and then.
"I hope you don't mind if I try to exert some control in all this."
His voice wasn't helping. It was lower than she'd ever heard from him, the timbre of it causing vibrations in her stomach.
She edged back from his wrist like if it were a viper, stopping only when she backed into a column. She went around it, wrapping her arms around it, and holding on for dear life.
"Better I offer than you lose control and maul me. Learnt that the hard way. Plus draining me, means the deaths of my family and coven, and an absolute waste of all the energy I've just spent keep us all alive. But probably worse for you is that the wards in this room will fall at my death and you, dear Bonnie, will prowl through this hotel and turn it into a mausoleum."
"I'd never…"
"Yeah, you'd like to think so, but I'm something of an expert at spotting a hungry heretic. And when – not if – you kill me, who knows what's going to happen to you, mmm? You might turn back to a witch. Or you might just get stuck like this for good."
"Stop it. Stop taunting me."
"I'm not taunting you. I'm warning you. Just like I warned you that this would happen and what do you know? I was right then; and I'm right now. You're going to lose it soon."
"I won't…"
"I know you won't. You know why? Because I'm not going to let you. Drink."
His words were almost as tempting as the scent of his blood under his skin, even the dried flecks of it on his face and bare torso. She gripped the column so fiercely that it shrank under her newfound power.
"How long will this last?"
"An hour. Maybe less but not by much. You can't hold out that long."
"You are!" she said, accusingly. But even as she said it, she could see the cracks in his composure. His accelerated heartbeat. His shallow breathing. The way his fists kept clenching, like if he was barely holding himself together. Even the way his voice broke slightly when he spoke. She'd missed the clues before but now, her heightened senses were making her painfully aware of him now.
He was absolutely desperate.
He smiled, and she could see his fangs. "I lived in an empty planet for eighteen years. I have more self-control than anyone alive you probably know. And if you're feeling half the hunger I've felt all this time I've been in this room with you, then you're probably going out of your. fucking. mind. Drink."
"No."
He scoffed, then he lifted his wrist to his mouth.
"NO!" She shouted.
Fresh blood flowed out of his skin. The scent of it filled her nostrils – iron, magic and him.
It was in her mouth before she realized she had moved.
She felt the sigh leave his body, heavy, shuddering and she could swear she tasted his triumphant relief in his blood. But she could barely register it, caught up as she was in drinking. His skin was salty, his blood was amazing, liquid electricity flooding her veins. She was holding onto his arm with both hands, all but gnawing through the flesh as she tried to get as much of his blood into her as possible.
The same arm curled her into his body, his long fingers actually gripping her shoulder as his bare chest pressed against her back. His other arm wrapped around her waist, a heavy band that she had no intention of escaping, lifting her so that her bare feet kicked against his legs. He was saying something – asking something – his words coming thick and fast and pleading in a voice so low she felt them echoing in her ribs.
She nodded her permission, partly because she didn't care – not for anything beyond drinking – and partly because the new aching in her core wanted to, desperately wanted to have him drink from her as she drank him.
He tilted her head, and she let him guide her easily, not caring as long as his wrist stayed in her mouth. His fingers trembled slightly as they stroked her hair, and then she felt his lips pressing against her neck. For a moment, he just left them there, as if he was bracing himself. Then with a sigh that made her whole body shudder, his teeth pierced through her skin. Her magic, her blood, was already there waiting for him and when he drew from her, she shuddered, her knees buckling, but not with pain.
His groan was so loud, so close to her skin that she felt like if it was an earthquake. The ground was opening beneath them, and Bonnie let Kai pull her through it, not caring if it swallowed her whole.
June 2014
Portland
It was barely daybreak. Alaric and Jo had been back for an hour, looking smug. Although shortly after, Alaric had rushed to the nursery to check on "the other two women in my life", and Jo had hopped to bed obliviously. Liv was still working in the kitchen ("I'll crash all morning. It's not only vampires that get to have all the fun") and Damon sauntered into the house to find an irate Bonnie in the middle of packing.
Tentatively, he confirmed that he had also received an update on their heretic problem.
"Er… about last night, I stopped at a bank for a drink. And after that, I got-"
"You're an ass, Damon," Bonnie muttered as she stuffed her makeup into her purse.
Damon loitered in the doorway, turning sulky. "Oh come on, it's not like you didn't have enough help. Heard the high and mighty Gemini president himself was around. Isn't it a good thing I wasn't here to get in the way of official witchy business?"
"I thought you were worried about him hurting me? Or do you only pretend to care when it's convenient for you?"
He blinked at her. "Woah! Don't tell me this is just because you changed a few extra diapers yesterday?"
She didn't say anything, just angrily folded her jeans.
He paused. "I told Liv I was sorry, you know." When Bonnie stared at him in confusion, he waggled his brows. "You know… about the whole Luke thing. I apologized properly to her this morning and everything. We're good."
Bonnie had forgotten about that already. On another day, she would have been surprised that Damon himself even remembered, to say nothing of apologizing – but right now, all she could think of was that he was already pissing her off enough as it was.
He fidgeted a little under her glare and said carefully, "And so you asked Kai and he said No. Disappointing, but we always knew there was a chance that would happen. We'll just go back to Plan A – vervain them out."
"Plan A's not going to work."
"Why not?"
"If you were here yesterday, you'd get why," she said through gritted teeth.
He waggled his eyebrows. "Fine. Then we go to Plan B."
"We don't have a Plan B, Damon!"
"I always have a Plan B," he sing-sang. "I just… don't know what it is yet."
Bonnie slammed her box shut and glared at him. "Somebody else died and you're here cracking jokes. Make yourself useful for a change and find out if we can get an early flight out of this town."
"OK, I'm going to let all that slide because you are clearly suffering from PMS right now. Either that," he added as she growled, "or something else happened yesterday between you and the President of the United Covens of Gemini?"
"Get lost."
"Definitely PMS then," he quipped and made himself scarce.
Bonnie directed her glare to the grimoires stacked neatly at the foot of her bed and remembered her conversation with Caroline from the night before. A conversation that had triggered a fitful sleep filled with dreams of things best forgotten.
"…if you and Kai worked out your issues with each other…"
The night before she had been one crying baby away from doing something that was at best very stupid and at worst very dangerous. And now…
Suddenly weak-kneed, she sat down on the bed.
Damon did not have a Plan B. But she did, didn't she?
A mental bell rang in her head, its peal deep and ominous.
May 2013
Mystic Falls
Bonnie rang the doorbell and waited.
It was a few hours before the wedding and she had jumped at the chance to run the errand and escape the bride's camp. At first it had been nice to have her friends hover over her so solicitously, but after a while it had put her on edge. So last night's bachelorette party had ended with her spending the night in the ICU. That was a day in the life of Bonnie Bennett.
It was not like if she had actually died.
Alaric answered the door. He looked exactly the same, right down to the facial hair that wasn't sure whether it wanted to be clean-shaven or a beard.
Bonnie brought up a mental image of Jo that morning in the middle of hair stylists, pedicurists and the makeup expert that Caroline insisted needed to be there.
The men had it so easy.
"Here you go." She pushed the box into his hands. "Your cravat."
His face reddened. "Oh my god, I was supposed to pick this up yesterday."
"I know. Or rather, Caroline knew. The person that doesn't know is Jo. So you owe us big time." She wiggled her eyebrows.
He laughed. "I'll remember."
She peered around the room. A few beers were on the table, and what appeared to be a ring box. Other than that, it didn't look like the house of someone who was about to change status or make any other major life-changing decisions.
"Should you be up and about after last night?" he asked.
Bonnie sighed. "Don't take this the wrong way but I'm really tired of telling people that I'm fine. Is Matt around?" she asked quickly, both to get to the task at hand and to stop him from poking. "We're supposed to pick up the flowers together, some hitch with the floral contractor." She also had another errand in mind, a thought that had taken shape in her mind as she drove here, but she didn't feel the need to share that with Alaric.
"He just stepped out with Tyler for some…" Alaric coughed. "Refreshments."
More beers, you mean, Bonnie thought while keeping her face as straight as possible.
"He'll be back soon. You wanna wait?"
"I guess," she said, a little uncomfortable now. She and Alaric hadn't really had much to say to each other since she came back.
He nodded and made a show of tidying up a little while she perched at the edge of the sofa. He came to sit across from her, still holding the cravat box in his hands.
"Thank you, Bonnie."
She smiled. "No biggie. I was coming to get Matt and the flowers, anyway."
"Not for this," he chuckled, then coughed a little. He looked both serious and nervous.
Bonnie shifted, guilt and confusion seeping through her. "If it's about going back for Kai, I only did what I had to do. You don't need to thank me."
"Oh god," he whispered. "I have to thank you for that, too." He slapped his forehead and his shoulders shook slightly.
How much exactly had he had to drink? "Alaric, is everything OK?"
"Everything's great, Bonnie!" he said, still chuckling. Yeah, he definitely had had one too many. "Everything's fine. And it's because of you."
She looked at him in surprise.
"I… I was dead, Bonnie. I died. But you brought me back. You were in pain, you were dying but you still tried to bring everyone back. Jeremy said, you saved everyone but yourself. You didn't have to. You could have lived a little longer if you hadn't. But you brought me back to life. I found Jo. I have Jo. We're going to have kids. Can you imagine me, a Dad?"
Bonnie nodded, swallowing against the lump in her throat. She could actually. She could imagine it very well.
"I got a second chance at life, Bonnie. How many people can say that? And it's all because of you." His eyes were shining.
"I…" She swallowed again. "I don't know what to say."
"Now, I also have to thank you for saving my horrible brother-in-law and keeping Jo and my children alive. When I think about when Damon asked me-" He made a face and wiped his eyes. "When Jo told me what happened yesterday, how close we all came to losing you. Again."
"I think everyone's getting a little carried away over what happened last night," Bonnie muttered, slightly mortified.
Alaric continued like if he hadn't heard her. "I owe you, Bonnie. Anytime. Anyday. Anything. OK? Remember that."
"You don't owe me anything," she whispered. Her heart was actually aching a little bit.
Alaric shook his head, wiped his face again.
Right on time, the door opened and she heard Matt's and Tyler's voices. "We got the beers. We got the good stuff. We got- Bonnie!" Their garbled song ended with a high-pitched exclamation point.
Before they caught sight of her, they had been waving two six-packs like pom-poms. Bonnie relieved them both of their burden.
"You guys, I think Alaric's had enough. If you don't want Jo… No, if you don't want Caroline to come here and whoop all your asses, you'd better start brewing some coffee. STAT. Not you, Matt, you're coming with me." She peered into Matt's slightly hazy blue eyes. "Are you sober enough to drive?"
He and Tyler exchanged scoffing glances. "I got us back here, didntcha?" He boomed into Bonnie's face, smelly breath and all.
Bonnie nearly gagged. "We're going to stop at the local Starbucks." She started dragging him along.
She caught a glimpse of Alaric's face staring at her and she smiled back tentatively, her heart so full she almost couldn't breathe.
"Come on, Bonnie. Just one beer," Tyler whined as she slammed the door behind them.
It took two coffees and one stop at the flower shop, but Bonnie was recovered enough from the weight of feeling that Alaric's unexpected gratitude had filled within her; and Matt was sober enough, for her to tell him what was on her mind.
"Visions about Kai, Lily and the heretics?"
Bonnie shrugged. In the warm, clear light of daytime, it all sounded a bit melodramatic.
But when was the last time her life wasn't ever melodramatic?
"Sometimes all of them – Kai, the one with red hair, the big blond. Sometimes it's just the heretics. Sometimes, it's just Lily. Sometimes… it's just Kai."
The dreams that only featured Kai tended to be slightly different from the rest. Bonnie felt her face heating up and pretended to stare at something out her window as they drove back to the event.
"If it's been going on since you got back from 1903, maybe you were having premonitions of Lily trying to kill you? But Lily's gone now," Matt said. Then he made a scoffing sound. "I still can't believe Damon and Stefan just let Kai send her back to the Prison World."
"She abandoned them. She had found a new family. She tried to sabotage his relationship with Elena," Bonnie hesitated. "She attacked me." And even now, the last filled her with more surprise than gratitude.
The events of the night before were still so hazy. She had woken in the hospital with Elena's tear-streaked face hovering over her, then her friend hugging her so tight she swore her bones had bent a little. Even Jo had been spooked, acting as if Bonnie had died.
Bonnie shook the thought away. Her days of dying were far behind her.
Matt gave her a concerned look. "So if your dreams warned you about Lily, you think they're still warning you about something else, right? You think the heretics are going to get out? That Kai's going to get them out?"
"He has the Ascendant."
"But you said that you rescued him from the heretics. Why would he try to get them out? Why bother sending Lily back if he's just going to release her family?"
Bonnie rubbed her hands on her face. "I don't know, Matt. I just don't trust him, you know? I'm just waiting for him to do something to pay me back…" She bit her lip and felt her heart tighten again, this time for a completely different reason.
She hadn't seen Josette's knife since 1903. By the time she had noticed it gone, Kai had left her, and anyway, Bonnie had far more pressing matters to worry about. But since then, every once in a while, her mind would go to the knife. Had it dropped into the snow in 1903? Or had Kai taken it?
The same knife he had stabbed her with in 1994.
The same knife she had stabbed him with in 1903.
Tag, Bonnie. You're It.
She clasped her sudden shaking fingers together. "I'm just waiting for him to pay me back," she repeated.
Matt nodded. Then he hit the brakes, and turned the car in a U-turn so abruptly that Bonnie rocked into her door.
"What the-?"
"He lives in an apartment off town." At Bonnie's inquiring glance, he added, "Some of their people are crashing there. I think the kid is in Jo's train. The local hotels are packed with Gemini so Alaric and I had to arrange lodgings for the extras."
That sounds awkward, Bonnie thought. Although, she also thought, that was not quite as awkward as Jo sending out wedding invitations to the brother that carved out her spleen or the father that tried to murder her.
"If the 1903 Ascendant is there, do you think you can locate it?"
"I think so. Matt, you're helping me with this? You believe me?"
"If Bonnie Bennett has a hunch, I'm not going to be the fool that ignores it."
A warm feeling blossomed in her heart and the two of them exchanged smiles. Matt's truck bumped along the road, racing against time.
June 2014
Portland
Jo snored. She always had but Kai didn't remember it being this loud, or this annoying. He rubbed the skin of his wrist under the black leather strap as he waited for the infernal racket to end while the tension in his head and in his heart stretched taut.
After a good fifteen minutes, he twiddled his fingers and sent his sister the magical equivalent of a good hard shove.
She woke with a jerk and looked around, her eyes wild. He looked over guilelessly from where he sat by the window and waved at her with his fingers.
"Finally, you're awake. Long past the time most respectable people are up and about." There was a lot more bite in his voice than probably needed to be. He was here after all, to ask for her help. But it had been a bad night – no, a bad couple of days – actually, a bad couple of weeks – or maybe just a bad year…
Long and short of it was that Kai wasn't in the mood to play nice with anyone that day.
Jo slumped back, with a sigh.
"I don't know what is sadder," she said tiredly, rubbing her eyes. "The fact that your face is the first one I see this morning or that I'm so used to your complete disregard of boundaries that I can't even work myself up to be annoyed."
"Good morning to you too, Sissy," he answered with fake cheer. "Also, you still snore."
That got her attention. "I do not."
"Alaric is a better man than I ever gave him credit for," he continued, blithely.
She spared him one frosty glare before her gaze morphed into concern. "What's wrong? You didn't wake me up this morning to talk about the Brooklyn situation or the dragon cults or the quandary with the Nine Covens or any of the other stuff you've been dealing with this month so why are you here?"
He never could put anything past her for long.
"To see my favourite sister," he said dryly, turning to stare blindly out of the window. The only thing he could see was her green eyes, staring up at him accusingly. "Why else?"
"Whatever it is, spit it out so I can get some sleep. Gab is in this morning and I had big plans for my sleep cycle."
"How's the old biddy?" Kai queried, genuinely interested. It had been a while since he bumped into Gab, the old woman who had practically raised him and Jo while their parents were busy running the coven. She'd been away for her brother's funeral.
"Still gaga. Half the time she talks as if he's still alive."
Kai squirmed with guilt and worry. "Maybe, it's time you…"
At Jo's glare, he fell silent. They both knew full well why Jo couldn't trust anyone else with the care of the girls.
"Gab's fine. Great with the twins and most importantly, she lets me sleep in. Which is more than I can say for other people in this room. So next time, use the door. Praetor or not, you don't have the right to port into my bedroom. There are boundaries."
"Says the woman who let a vampire into a house with two babies."
"The house is vamp proofed to my eyeballs. He's practically human inside here. Besides, Damon doesn't eat babies. That I know of."
Kai grimaced. Clearly his sister didn't know about the 'worst day' of Damon's life during which he ate a pregnant woman and her unborn child. Alaric clearly didn't know either or he'd have told Jo. His sister and her husband were thick as thieves.
It was disgusting, really.
Kai and the vampire were not friends – and he'd never trust Damon as an ally again but he knew what it was to live under the shadow of one's past. As long as he was confident of his family's safety – and he was – and until Damon gave him cause to, Kai would keep the murder of the Salvatore relation's wife and child to himself.
Of course, the moment their visitors from Mystic Falls left, Kai was going to personally cast the enchantments that revoked the vampire's permission into the house.
Visitors.
The pain behind his ribs worsened.
But all he said now was, "well, your vampire babysitter skipped on you last night. I got here just in time. So you're welcome, Sissy."
"Now, that's a sight I'd have almost given up my night to see. You, Bonnie and babies."
He couldn't help it. He flinched.
There was a pause. He could feel Jo's guilty gaze on his face and he looked away. In the far distance, he could 'hear' the activities of the other witches in the house, his senses specifically attuned to Liv's, to Gab the nanny, and even the little twins in the nursery. They were all Gemini witches after all, and all their magic answered to him.
Then his basic witch senses picked up on the vampire in the study; and something even deeper, something that had been within him long before he had magic, connected to the non-Gemini witch in her bedroom.
Bonnie.
Black hair shining under the faint kitchen light. Green eyes flashing at him. That cupid's bow mouth, full and soft and curved with spite as she threw words at him like hexes. It had been a month since he had seen her last – although she probably thought it was a year – and still the reality of her was a shock to his senses.
She was flitting through the house now. Awake. Alert. Annoyed.
If Bonnie's aura was a flame, then Kai was the moth that wanted to fly to her and be burnt.
Again.
"They're not leaving until late evening," Jo said quietly, and he could hear the unspoken apology in her voice. "That's plenty of time for conversations… maybe more?"
"Good for them. Excellent weather for flying. Clear skies," he answered blithely.
"Kai…"
He gave her a warning glance and brusquely changed the subject. "And while we're on the topic of Mystic Falls and its usual drama, guess who got themselves killed last night?"
He told her.
That got her back on track. She sat up, face pale, eyes wide. "No."
He knew what she was thinking. First Tony and Rose Stewart at Jo's own wedding, dead at the hands of heretics and now their great-aunt, in the same way. Now all that was left of the once proud Stewart family was the ageing Bethany and a grand-daughter.
"That poor family," Jo whispered. She looked completely shattered.
He looked away, grimacing as frustrated remorse smote through him. "Yeah. Someone needs to find out which Elder broke a cursed mirror."
"And that's three now, right? The Briggs. Now Judith Stewart…"
"Yep. Three of the coven witches that went into self-imposed exile the moment I became leader are now dead."
"By the hands of the heretics you released."
The way she said it made him throw her a furtive glance. The pained shock was wearing off, replaced by a look of calculation. Her voice was almost aloof with coolness.
With suspicion?
"Not exactly how that went down, Jo," he muttered.
"That won't matter to a lot of witches."
"What do you think?" he shot back at his sister.
She hesitated. He could practically see the gears turning in her head. "I don't think you had anything to do with this, Kai."
He didn't realise until Jo said it and he sighed, that he was holding his breath. He looked away so that she won't see the gratitude that had threatened to overwhelm him.
For someone who had lived most of his life, natural and unnatural, without emotions, the maelstrom that had overcome him after the Merge had almost driven him mad. The spiralling events that had followed shortly had not helped, coming near to almost completely pushing him over the edge. Even now, a year after everything, he still had nightmares about what depths he might have sunk to if things had gone just a little bit differently.
As it was, he already had more than enough on his conscience. The guilt and grief at the lives he had ruined and taken would always remain with him, but none more so than those of his own siblings.
He had sought help in his own way – the Internet, various self-help books, even the short-lived stint with a god-to-honest psychiatrist on Jo's insistence. They all said more or less the same thing – time would heal the sharper, more crippling emotions, but they would never entirely leave him; he would always carry the burden of guilt within him, and the best he could do was to redirect it positively and make the rest of his miserable existence worthwhile to others. Most importantly, it was imperative that he asked for forgiveness from the survivors of his malice – but he should not expect it because he had no right to it; could never do enough to earn it; and should resign himself to the possibility that as desperately as he would want it, he would never get it.
So that was why, even after all this time, the reminder of Jo's forgiveness, Jo's acceptance, Jo's loyaltyto him still had the power to stun him.
He had to clear his throat before he could speak. "Well, thanks for the vote of confidence," he said in a weak attempt at lightness.
Jo looked at him in a way that made it very clear he wasn't fooling her for a minute. "Anyone with half a brain could figure that it's not your style. You're more … hands-on, so to speak."
Kai couldn't tell if she had picked up on his discomfort and was trying to ease it, or if she meant her words. Or both.
She was already turning back to the matter at hand. "Well, no matter their loyalty or lack of it to you, that's three dead Gemini witches. The Council's going to have to change their tune now."
"You'd think that, right? I got the news a few hours ago. I summoned an emergency Council right away-"
"Wait, what – you ported Council members out of their beds?" She was gawking at him.
"You heard when I said emergency right?"
She laughed incredulously. "I'm sure they loved that."
"Apparently not. They were more bugged about that than about Judith Stewart's death. It certainly didn't make much difference to them." He got to his feet, started pacing the untidy bedroom. "No dice, Jo. Still no."
"What? No way."
"The usual bull. Witches die all the time. Witches who separate from their covens die even more easily than others. The heretics are content to stay in Mystic Falls. The town is sort-of equipped to manage them, and seems to have a handle on them. Nothing about the situation warrants our interference. Yadda yadda yadda. Let's leave well enough alone. Now since we're all here, we might as well talk about that empty Council seat. Cue bickering."
"I can't believe it. They chose to do nothing at all?"
"OK, maybe not absolutely nothing. Exile or not, Judith still hailed from one of our oldest houses. There's Bethany to consider, too. So Councilman Parrish will be going on an all-expenses paid trip to Virginia to 'observe' the goings on. That was the fall-out of the emergency meeting."
He kicked the leg of a table in frustration.
Jo cringed. "The Council has no objectivity where the heretics are concerned. They'd bury their heads in the sand until the heretics burnt their way across the country to Portland. Then the same Council will turn around and point their fingers at you," she warned.
"Yeah, I thought of that," he said. "Some were there the night of your Red Wedding. What they saw clearly scared religion into them. I'd overrule them in a moment and hightail it back to Mystic Falls. I wanted to a month ago when those vermin turned up like a couple of bad pennies."
"So why haven't you?" she prodded.
He stopped pacing and gave his sister a piercing look. "Because that would be missing the bigger picture. The question isn't why the heretics are back, it's how. How do you think that happened, mmm? Because I was damn sure that we rounded up all those freakshows that night before I executed them. How the hell do you think two of them managed to escape?"
May 2013
Mystic Falls
What do you think, Malachai? Was it worth it?
Jo's Red Wedding ended in a gigantic barbeque. A group of young witches stood at the edge of the huge bonfire, hooting and casting unnecessary fiendfyre spells as the flames rose impossibly higher and higher, un-impacted by the torrential downpour.
But most of the Gemini still standing were consumed with more useful pursuits. The shattered Western portal had been repaired, and the wounded were being carried through. There were deep ditches in the ground where hell-hole spells had been cast, and a group of Envoys moved from one to the other, sealing them back with careful, painstaking magic. Other Envoys were moved across the field, finding and neutralizing any lingering effects of malicious hexes that still remained. But they could only do so much. The auras of witches who had lost their lives, the potency of the magic that had been cast here, and the sheer violence of the past few hours, would linger over these grounds and mark them cursed for decades, if not centuries.
Most of the Councilmen and Elders had already left, but a few remained, and those stood with Joshua Parker, having a slow conversation. There was no time for a formal meeting but already questions were being raised and some form of answers needed to be given before harmful rumors could be allowed to take life.
The Praetor himself should have been part of this group, or at least taken an active role in organizing the Envoys and the other helpers in their work, but it was his family that took his place. Joshua dealt with the leaders, and Liv Parker had helped to set up the Portal. Now, after giving instructions to the Envoys, she worked with the witches who were collecting the dead.
All this while, Kai Parker stayed apart from the rest of his coven. Scant meters from the flames, closer even than the boisterous young witches dared, he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, tall and silent in the rain, his form highlighted by the bonfire that he gazed unseeingly into. A few people had met him earlier – touched his shoulder, murmured thanks – but his curt one-word, and eventually non-answers – had rebuffed them. Now, glances flitted to him, as questions were murmured behind his back. But everyone gave him a wide berth.
"So you were right and we were wrong, yet again, Joshua," Tony Genova, fellow Councillor to the now ex-Praetor told Joshua as they stood in the rain and watched as a fiery ditch slowly closed before their eyes.
Joshua's voice was grave. "Your concerns were not unjustified."
"Justified and timely. The failsafe might have come in useful earlier this night," Bethany Stewart said, her eyes sharp and accusing on Joshua.
"The failsafe," Valerie Hildegard said sharply, "was the reason why we didn't complete the Redimio[1] and we almost lost the coven this night."
Joshua sighed. "We were all caught unawares."
"And in the end, we didn't need it. The syphon – the Praetor – saw to that," Tony interjected, his voice now tinged with amazement. "I never knew a heretic could be killed in such a way."
"It has always been theoretically possible. There were studies many centuries ago," Joshua replied, his voice distant.
"I'm more interested in why those heretics were free in the first place," Bethany Stewart persisted, her voice cold as she glanced now at the bonfire and the man that stood alone before it, then turned back to Joshua. "There will be an inquiry. Too many people died."
Joshua bowed his head. "I am sorry about your son."
"His wife, too. My grand-daughter is an orphan now."
There were cries and murmurs of sympathy. One loss was expected – theirs was a dangerous life. But two from one family in the space of one night? That was indeed a tragedy.
Bethany waved them off. "I don't want commiseration. I want answers."
She would obviously have said more, but her old friend, Padma Patel took her elbow. "Come, Betty, we can do more on the other side of the Portal." The two women drifted away.
The others watched her leave. "Betty won't leave this be," Mark McGordon said.
Joshua's response was curt. "She shouldn't."
They said very little after that. At least nothing that was of any importance to Kai where he listened with his newfound supernatural hearing. His composure was a mask, inside he was burning as furiously as the fiendfyre before him, the ruination of magical essence from more souls than he had ever absorbed at once running through his veins like fire. He was fast realizing that the spells that he had cast on himself to ride this through were not going to be enough. Neither were his Sanskrit rings, which were supposed to share some of the burden. Now they were pushing back power on him, feeding into a vicious magical cycle that would soon send him to his knees – or drive him mad.
It would be the ultimate irony, he thought, if he ended up either dying or turning into the same thing he had just saved his coven from.
He could have gone long ago, but he wanted, perversely, to watch the last of the heretics fall into ashes. Maybe then, the satisfaction that he was expecting from all this, would finally come.
So he stayed. And he waited. Long after the fiendfyre was empty and turned on itself, long after the crowd had thinned to a handful, he was still waiting. It didn't come. That sense of victory, of vindication. Instead what came was an emotion that Kai would gladly have exorcised from his soul, but one that he had become horrifyingly familiar with since the Merge:
Guilt.
His eyes weren't only burning because of the smoke from the flames, or the warring of auras clashing inside him.
Was it worth it, Malachai?
The question wasn't his, Kai thought furiously. The guilt wasn't his. It was Luke's. That and his inability to enjoy this moment. Apparently, even the simple pleasure of getting even, was something he was going to have to learn to live without. Not for the first time, Kai wondered who had really won the Merge.
Another tremor smote him, and he staggered where he stood. He felt eyes turn to him immediately. They were all watching, he knew. All whispering, all wondering. Even after everything that happened today. They probably always will.
Are they wrong?
Shut up, Luke. He said tiredly.
In the flames, he could see the heart-shaped face of little Judi Stewart. He had glimpsed her at the ceremony. She and her Genova friend had been disproportionately smug at being chosen to be in Josette Parker's train.
Now, she was an orphan.
Quentin Parrish, one of the envoys said to Kai's sister. "Portal will soon close, Olivia. We need to round up the rest."
"Who's left?"
"A few councilors. The Pr-er, I mean your father and the Praetor."
"Get my Dad." There was a pause as she walked from the other side of the field to him. Liv's question was hesitant, diffident in a way that she had never sounded to him before. "Kai, are you coming?"
"No," he growled.
She hesitated. "Are you OK?"
He didn't answer.
Her heartrate, already loud and pounding, increased slightly; and he was so grateful that at least, he could still tick off Livvie-poo.
"Suit yourself."
He heard his father say something about staying with him, but Liv managed to dissuade him. Then they were finally leaving. Joshua was last, his eyes lingering on his son for a long moment as he stood in the Portal. Then he, too, was gone. Moments later, the Portal collapsed.
Kai ended the fiendfyre spell. The smoke cleared at once, and nothing, not even ashes, remained of the six heretics.
Well not nothing. The ghosts of the dead Gemini witches remained. As well as Kai's own guilt.
He unclasped his hands, and curled his fingers to make the portation spell. Magic flowed through him at once – too easily. He closed his eyes and his body shook with pleasure at the rush of it. It was like the overwhelming excess of the Traveler's spell all over. It occurred to him – because he was a syphon and by his very nature, he would always revel in magic – that he could probably learn to control this power, with time. But he rejected the thought almost before it was completed. The cost was too high.
The rain disappeared as he ported.
[1] loose translation: 'coronation' of the Gemini Praetor
A/N (AUG-12-'15): I am really sorry it's taken me this long to update. Thank you to everyone that dropped a review, said what you liked and what could be better. The reviews were so encouraging and kept me writing even when I had to re-do a chapter three times! I appreciated every one of your comments. I know where this story is going to (spoiler: rocks fall and everyone dies ;) :) ) but how we'll get there is still literally a work-in-progress so feel free to give me your thoughts and opinions. Also, let me know when it gets too flashback heavy. As much as I enjoy delving into the past, there's a lot that's yet to happen in the future too!
And BIG THANKS to my dear betas thenameismaynard and magicsuckcr! I hope everyone is reading By and Down by keenan24here or any of killerwarlock at tumblr's RPs, or you are sorely depriving yourselves. These guys are the best - and they're the reason why you didn't run screaming from all my typos and grammos.
Finally, this chapter was hella long so I split it into 2. Right in the middle of Kai's and Jo's conversation. Kai gets long-winded, apparently. I hope it doesn't end too abruptly. The next chapter starts pretty much from where this one takes off.
Keep the BonKai flag flying!
