In advance, please do not mind the splatters of blood that you may see on these pages. The Maril spit flood took a lot out of me.

Thank you.


I made a new week resolution, and that was to be a good sport. However, I don't think I'd accomplished that goal very well this week. I'll try it again next week.

I left the Olivine City Gym after a shouting aftermath that you probably shouldn't know the details about. Basically, what happened in there was that I showed how awesome I was and shit, and everyone agreed with me when I lectured Jasmine. Jasmine got offended, of course, so I was "politely" kicked out, and was "kindly" told from her that I had to shut up and leave or else she'll torture me in a very legal way—with stupidity. This last fact was not mentioned outright, but I could tell that it was there. Therefore, I left the Gym right away, because I was aghast that it was possible for her to treat me with an even greater lack of intelligence. I get the feeling that the Gym Trainers and Gym guide were at least somewhat sympathetic, though. They heard me speak to her, and they agreed that Jasmine hasn't been acting responsibly.

Or they could have just been saying that to get me out of the place.

It could be that, too.

They suggested that I go to some Lake of Rage. It sounded like a terrible idea. Judging from the name, either the place is full of lava, or it's a place where mad people go for vacation. Still, I briefly considered that it might be a good place of philosophical investigation if either was the case. So in the end, I started to travel there with Lorcan by my side.

Although I hadn't known before due to my massive amounts of ignorance, it turns out the path to the Lake of Rage was directly east of Ecruteak City. This same path went through Mahogany Town (strange color name, I know), where another Gym Leader was. Intrigued, I went ahead and checked what my map had to say about this town.

Mahogany Town

A town with a suspicious air to it.

It's a hiding place for ninjas.

It's not a good hiding place if even the cartographer knew what was going on there when they made the map—do the ninja even really exist these days, anyway?

Also, I'm not sure what makes air "suspicious." If it's something like smoke, well, somebody had better check it out before they all get lung cancer or something. This is ridiculous. Whoever annotated these towns were super biased. Their high school was probably rivals with Mahogany's, or something.

I looked at the explantation for the Lake of Rage, and here it is:

Lake of Rage

A huge lake full of clear, blue water.

That was disappointing.

Well, at least I knew that I should keep my expectations really, really low.

I launched myself onto Route 42, almost immediately came across a Poké Ball on the grass. I not-so-sneakily looked around, then quickly took the Poké Ball. It had this TM in it. Lame. I shoved in my bag.

Then I came across a cave. I did snoop all over the place trying to find a way out of this, but there was no use—I had to get myself into that cave. And it hasn't been three seconds before a man in hiking clothing ran out of the cave, toppling me to the ground. Lorcan suavely evaded the man, then glared at me for not being so blessed. I ignored Lorcan and made eye contact with the hiker.

"Oh, boy!" he cried loudly at my puzzled face. "Sorry that I bumped into you. Did I hurt you?"

I got up, dusted off my clothes. "No." This was said as flatly as I could, but hiking man here apparently did not hear me.

"Please don't cry," he said desperately.

"I'm not about to—"

"Here, take this," the man said, and shoved a HM into my hands. I stared at it.

"It's a move called strength," he explained.

"I thought strength was more of an attribute than an action."

"But when a Pokémon learns it, it can move boulders out of your way."

"I hope you're being ironic. I think my Pokémon are strong enough, thanks." I felt slightly offended that because I'm a teenaged girl, he thought my Pokémon are weak. Because Lorcan was the Pokémon in question, he twisted himself up so he would look taller.

The hiker eyed Lorcan cautiously. Lorcan was starting to make myself uncomfortable as well because he ended up extending above me.

"Lorcan, get down," I ordered. "You're making me feel short." And he was starting to weird me out, too.

Lorcan obeyed me because there was no dashing female dragons to impress. The hiker looked away from Lorcan politely and continued on.

"Your Pokémon may be strong, but if you put the disc of that HM in a music box, a wonderful warmup song would come up. Some Pokémon end up getting bursts of strength from the music, in fact. The disc is magical. It always knows the right song to play."

"I can't even begin to understand this."

"Just take it. Have a great mountain climbing life!" He winked at me and walked away.

Um...okay.

I entered the cave, which turned out to be Mt. Mortar. When I first got in, I hallucinated that a Marill was standing in the corner. So I stood at the entrance for ages before finally acknowledging that I was crazy and moved on. Throughout the cave, I admit, I did see some boulders here and there. There were pretty tiny and easy to step over, but I didn't do that because I was lazy. So I told Hamako to push them.

Hamako gave me the look.

I sighed and inserted the Strength disc into a music player that was randomly sitting around for convenient "Strength" use. "Holding Out for a Hero" began to blare from the music player.

I didn't think it would work, but it did. Hamako did all the work I requested of her without complaint.


I entered Mahogany Town, "home of the ninja." Personally, the place was kind of dumpy and boring to me. Like Azalea Town.

Not wanting to be in that place any longer, I went to the Gym. There was a guy blocking the door. He was eating a donut.

"Hey, can you move aside?" I asked.

The guy suddenly looked up, his brown eyes wide.

"Have you seen this guy with a black cape?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Dracula. In movies."

"No, I mean, here," he said. "He's been going back and forth between here and the Lake of Rage, saying strange radio waves are being transmitted."

"I see."

"Who is he, I wonder."

"Why don't you go and ask him?"

He thought at that for a few moments. Chewed some more donut.

"Nah."

"Okay. May you please move aside?"

He chewed more donut. Thought a little more.

"No."

"Well, that's with you, then," I said briskly. "See ya!" I made a mental note that if I ever do, by chance, find out who the hell Mr. Radioactive Dracula is, I wouldn't tell the donut eater.

I was just storming off when an old man caught sight of me. He went to me, and I thought he was going to say something weird. Instead he simply said, "Are you off to see the Gyarados rampage at the lake?"

I brightened. "There's a Gyarados rampage?"

He nodded.

"Okay, I am off to see the Gyarados rampage at the lake."

However, I became preoccupied by examining this strange sign for the souvenir shop:

Just a Souvenir Shop.

Nothing Suspicious about It

No Need to Be Alarmed

Suspicious words aside, I was already suspicious when I noticed the suspicious grammar. I mean, it was like the place wanted to look suspicious.

The sign was most likely a clever way to draw in for tourists, but I get inside anyway. It was a small shop with chocolate smells. The walls had loud, dark blue wallpaper. I cautiously got in, my eyes trying to quickly spot chocolate. I swore I could hear a wind blowing into the room—they really needed to bring the AC down.

The clerk was in a karate uniform. He smiled at me.

"The experiment worked like a charm. Magi-crap are just worthless, but Gyarados are big moneymakers."

I made no comment.

The other person present in the room was a man who was dressed like the Gym guide. He stood against the wall.

For whatever reason, I thought that he seemed slightly more sane than the karate guy, so I informed him that the AC was driving me nuts, and that I could hear the wind blowing in the room.

"That is...just me whistling," the terrible liar said. "There is no...wind blowing."

He started whistling hard, with shifty eyes. I stared.

"Enough of that," he snapped. "Why don't you buy something?"

I looked over the things that were on the counter. Strangely, there were only three things for sale: a tiny mushroom that had no purpose whatsoever (it was not even edible), a Poké Ball, and a Potion. No chocolate bar. These people are crazy. They can't believe they'll keep in business if they sell so little. Plus, there was a Poké Mart in town. If anybody needed a Potion or a Poké Ball, they would buy something there.

I shook my head at the clerk and began to leave when I noticed a radio standing in the corner. Shooting a look at the Gym guide clerk, I went to it and heard blowing sounds in it.

They were listening to a radio full of fucking wind noises, and were too humiliated to tell me that.

"This is insanity," I said, "and I think you know it."

The Gym guide clerk flushed. "Look, if you're not going to buy anything..."

"Actually, sir, I'm not. Sorry, but I'm going to leave. Good bye, and I hope you restock soon. I highly recommend that."

I pretty much left like that. It was just then that I got yet another phone call.

In the span of one hour, I had gotten four or five phone calls, all from guys who were obviously very desperate this summer. Then it was Joey's turn, and apparently he had forgotten our five or so last phone conversations, and told me the exact same things about his Rattata. It was annoying. I was about to tell him that, but he hanged up before I could.

I began my way north where the Lake of Rage was, therefore setting foot on Route 42. It was a fairly sunny place, the trees only fringes on the otherwise plain route. Nothing weird about it. A picnicker even stood over there, perhaps waiting to meet up some friends or whatever for an expedition down to the Lake of Rage. Nice place for whistling, you know?

The weird thing was, there was a gate not a very long distance away. It was like, I got out of a gate, walked a few yards, then had to walk into a gate again. I figured that it was a waste of time and money to build it, but I didn't think much of it.

Until I walked in the gate and got confronted by two of those Team Rocket idiots.

They didn't put in one grunt; they putted in two. I figured just from that they had to be pulling some kind of major shit.

"Hold it there, kiddo!" one of them said, walking to me. "The toll is 1,000 to go through."

I was about to say something sarcastic back when one of them suddenly seized my credit card from my bag and used it without my consent. I began sputtering at them for this theft when that one shoved the credit card back, smiling snidely at me.

"Thanks!" the other one said in a charming manner, backing away. I stared at him silently for a few, hard moments, before slowly calling the police.

"9ll, what's your emergency?"

"Um...these two gangsters or something used my credit card," I said, glancing at the said gangsters. They couldn't care less.

There was a pause on the other end.

"Wait, how old are you? Are you even old enough to have a credit card?"

"That's not important. Some people just took my credit card, and used it. On top of everything else, they are charging passage to get through a gate."

I waited.

Then, "Where are your parents?"

"Not here. I'm Lyra, sixteen years old, and I'm traveling on my own."

"Can you ask your parents to help you out?"

"Listen, you have to stop these crimes. The gangsters—which are of Team Rocket, by the way—are probably doing the same thing for everyone else unfortunate enough to come this way."

"That's not our problem."

"Then what is your problem?"

"Murders, rape, illegal Pokémon trades, and the illegal roaming of young minors at night. We only occasionally look into theft and kidnapping, preferably in the springtime when the weather is nice. And preferably if the victim or offender is someone who is actually important."

"Well, what about cases in the summertime?"

"For victims or offenders that are normal Joe Does?"

"Yeah."

"Meh. It's too hot."

I hanged up, looking over to the Team Rocket guys.

"I just called 911," I told them. "Do you care?"

They shrugged.

Scowling (and silently cursing the police), I walked out before realizing I've dropped my Trainer Card on the gate's floor. I went inside and got charged a thousand again. Scowling an even deeper scowl, I walked out. The weather truly was hot, and one could hear the sun sizzling the grass. My hair, being left down, was stuck to the back of my neck. And I couldn't find a ponytail holder to get it up—all the ones I'd had apparently floated away during the massive Marill flooding incident.

I remembered why I usually travel at night.

"Hey!" a random guy shouted at me, someone who no doubt wouldn't be out at night. "Some red-haired kid made fun of my precious Pokémon!"

"Really now," I said. "I know that guy, probably. Tell you what, don't listen to him. Pikachu Boy there lives for unnecessary, childish insults, and don't let him get you down. He's wanted by the police. Anyway, I bet your Pokémon are just awesome."

"Humph!" the man said. "My Pokémon's great."

"Wait, are you even listening—"

The person tossed out his Poké Ball, releasing the Nidoking that was contained in it. Nidoking flexed his muscles, his jaws bared.

"No, you weren't listening," I said. "Lorcan, surf the thing up or...something."

Lorcan yawned, bringing up fierce waves of water around him. The clash of water against the Nidoking caused the great beast to succumb to the weight, and its body became limp.

Lorcan, mildly satisfied, returned to my side.

"My Nidoking was outstanding!" said the guy.

"I'm sure he was," I said dryly. Lorcan coughed...intentionally.


The Lake of Rage was relatively huge—because let's face it, this is Johto we're talking about. The sign that labeled it mentioned that Gyarados Lake was another way of calling the place, and nothing else was said on it. I spoke to the old man who overlooked the lake, his face contorted in an intense expression.

"The Gyarados are angry," he mused. "It's a bad omen."

"Of what?"

He didn't answer.

I looked out to the lake and found a weird, red serpent fish thingy roaming around in the waters. It had started to rain, and the rain created an only hazy image of the strange creature. I pointed the serpent out to the old man, but unfortunately, he was too nearsighted to make anything of it.

"All right," I said. "I'm going to take care of this problem."

I instructed Lorcan to allow me to surf on the lake, and he did so. Coming closer, I was able to examine the monster in greater clarity—it was a red Gyarados. That's all. It didn't seem especially angry to me, or anything like that. All it did was simply wander about a small area of the lake, doing little besides that.

Still, I supposed that it was the mere sight of such a creature twisting out of the waters was causing alarm, so I had to confront it. That is, catch it.

"Hey!" I shouted out to the Gyarados. It looked at me in rage for disturbing its mainly peaceful existence of wandering and doing nothing. It was like...when a teenager gets angry at their younger sibling for disturbing them or something.

So the Gyarados is either evil or chock-full of hormones. We don't know.

Miranda was ejected from her Poké Ball, landing on a magical shallow circle part that kept her up on the surface. She looked up at the Gyarados. And scratched her nose.

I wrinkled my own nose. "Whip your tail, Miranda. Make it look cute." My plan was for the Gyarados to lower its defenses at the sight of utter adorableness.

Miranda nodded right before the Gyarados created a small twister around itself, spinning it into Miranda. Miranda yelped, falling lower in her weird water pad.

Still, she got her paws firmly on that wet, unstable water thing she was on and whipped her tail. She seemed to be successful, but not two seconds later the Gyarados gave her a leer that made my poor Eevee pee with fear. She numbly tackled the Gyarados back, barely causing a scratch.

No, a scratch would cause more. I tensed, holding up her Poké Ball.

"Miranda, return."

She got back into her Poké Ball. Studying the Gyarados wearily, I thrusted out Kitty.

The Togetic yawned and didn't do anything.

I watched. Kitty only yawned again.

At this point, Lorcan began to twist his body around, fidgeting under my ass. Bitting my lip, I instructed him to use all of that destructive dragon rage in him and make a cool blast of dragon power. I don't know what the fuck I was saying, but it seemed to work as glowing masses of purple smoke released from his mouth, charging into the Gyarados with explosive power.

Swarms of purple smoke filled the air as Lorcan continued to blast out whatever power had contained him at the moment. When the smoke finally separated, revealing the place at which the Gyarados was, it became clear that the Gyarados was gone.

Instead of catching it, which was what I originally intended to do, the Gyarados had been downed.

Well, that could work too.

A single scarlet scale shone from the surface at which the Gyarados once stood. Carefully leaning over, I grasped at its small structure. It was a simple, red scale, not larger than the palm of my hand. I stared at it in silence for a few minutes before placing it inside a pocket in my bag.

I think I'll stop my account here for now. My hands have a cramp, probably from making too much tea earlier. I'll finish this account tomorrow.