Today had been a good day for Noah - the library wasn't too crowded, and was able to get up with enough time to wake up, shower, and take the kids to school as he did every Wednesday before going to work. He was genuinely very content with how today went. He didn't always have good days. As he was driving home, he got a phone call.

"Hello?" He said, answering it by bluetooth. He didn't look at the caller ID, but after realizing who it was, he wished he did so he could ignore the call.

"Noah, my little buddy!" It was Owen. Noah let out a silent sigh. He hadn't heard from him since the show premiered, and that was intentional. Noah didn't want to allow Owen to ruin his good mood, so he told himself he'd just let him talk and he wouldn't say anything that would make him stray from the subject at hand, whatever that may be.

"Hey, Owen. What's up?"

"I'm coming to get you at 10. Is your address still the same?" Noah became confused. He took a breath and began to question him.

"For what?"

"The afterparty for the finale, silly!" As Noah took a sharp turn, his eyes widened, forgetting that was tonight. He had stopped watching the show after his elimination and honestly thought the show had ended already.

"Oh, right!" He said, agreeing with him. He took a pause as he realized what this all meant - confronting fans, seeing Emma, not being comfortable with himself or his sexuality. "Do I have to go?"

"Oh come on, Noah, it'll be fun! We get to see Kitty and Emma again." Owen was in on the scripted-ness that was Emma and Noah's 'showmance', but he didn't know Noah was gay. He didn't think he could ever come out to Owen, let alone the Total Drama community. Seeing Emma again would be nice, but he doesn't want to be surrounded by fans who want them to be together. He thought, maybe he could fake being sick and get out of the watch party, but he was better than that, or so he tried to be. Noah let out a moaned sigh.

"Okay, fine, I'll go." Noah heard Owen squeal and then drove into his culdesac. "I'm just getting home, I'll see you at 10."

"See ya, buddy!" Noah hung up the phone as he drove into his driveway, then lowered his head onto the steering wheel, letting himself groan for a moment. He slowly picked up his head, grabbed his stuff, and began walking towards the door, allowing himself the peace and quiet for his thoughts before walking in.

When he learned he had been paired up with Owen for Ridonculous Race, he felt nervous about how their odds would be. He had an interesting relationship with Owen over the past few years, and the two of them were very opposite in how they competed. He had to be in a certain mood to be with Owen because Owen knew about his parents, which was always the reason why he was so nice to him all the time. One night in Camp Wawanakwa, he was making small talk with Noah and the subject of family came up. He spoke very highly about his parents and in turn, asked what Noah's parents were like. The death of his parents was still very fresh in his mind, and he couldn't bear to talk about how much he loved them, even if the cameras weren't around during this conversation. However, there was something about Owen that made him feel like he couldn't lie around him, so he blurted it out to him that his parents died and made Owen swear that he wouldn't tell. On World Tour, the two had bonded some more after being put on the same team, and just as he began feeling comfortable around Owen, he was eliminated on account of being caught talking bad about Alejandro.

He walked in to see Candice watching TV with the kids, the dog running up to him as he walked in. Coincidentally, there was an ad on for the finale of Ridonculous Race. Spencer noticed Noah out of the corner of his eye and pointed to the TV.

"Look, it's your show!" Spencer said as if Noah couldn't hear it or see it.

"Who wins, Uncle Noah?" Hannah asked, her hair whipping back as she looked over at him from across the room. He put his stuff down and took his shoes off and stepped onto the carpeted area where the couch and TV were, sitting next to Candice and the kids.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret." Noah said, shrugging as if he didn't know.

"Like you couldn't tell us when you broke up with the pretty lady?" Hannah asked. Noah looked blankly at her, but she didn't notice.

"Exactly." As soon as he said that, the kids' show came back on, and their attention went right back into the TV.

Noah looked over at Candice as she began to speak. "So, are you going to that fancy after-party going on at Horseshoe?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Noah said, staring blankly at her. Candice could tell he wasn't in the mood to go tonight, or at all.

"I figured you would. I saw Emma would be there. I follow her on Instagram. You should really get on social media. I'm sure you have fans that would love to see you bring out content."

"My life really isn't all that interesting. What would I post about, the library?" Candice shrugged as she got up, still facing towards him as he talked, and grabbed her bag.

"I'm sure you could think of something to post. Maybe when Nicole gets home she can help you. Fall break is next week for her, right?"

"Yep."

"Well, I gotta go. I'm glad you got here early, I heard traffic is killer today." Candice started walking towards the door and waved to Spencer and Hannah, who waved back without missing a beat of their show. "Oh, and Noah?" She said, turning her head around and pointing to him.

"Yes?"

"Try to have fun tonight, it won't kill you to." Noah chuckled.

"Bye, Candice." Candice grabbed her keys from the table, walked out the door, and closed it. Noah sighed as he scooted closer to the kids, who were watching Teen Titans Go.

"How was school today? Learn anything new?" Noah asked, wanting to think of anything but the watch party.

"Liam said the F word in class today." Noah looked over at Hannah as she said that, nodding his head. Liam was Hannah's classroom bad boy.

"Great." Noah said with a straight face. "I'm glad that's what you're learning." As he sat and watched the show with the kids, Noah's brother and sister-in-law walked into the door, and the kids and dog rushed to say hi to them. They really love them, he thought.

"Hey, Noah. Going to the after-party tonight?" His brother asked. He was so tired of people asking. The more people talked about it, the less he wanted to go.

"Unfortunately so."

"This'll be fun for you! You get to see all your friends. Maybe you and Emma-" Noah looked panicked and raised his voice, not knowing how to control his emotions after hearing her name.

"What, maybe we'll get back together? No, Joshua. I don't want to see Emma, we didn't work, we're done! Stop trying to push her onto me." Noah took a breath and looked over at Joshua, who looked hurt. Noah couldn't believe he did that. He didn't even mean what he said. He started to wiggle his fingers and fidget them between each other, trying not to show that he was shaking with regret.

"I know you're still going through a lot, Noah, but…" Joshua walked over to him, hushing his tone and holding onto his shoulder as the kids were now looking at him while being pushed away by Bethany as to not scare them. "You're still not the same since they've died. I mean look at Nicole, she's doing just fi-"

"Why do I always get compared to Nicole? It's Nicole this, Nicole that. I'm fine." Noah was not fine, Joshua knew it too. His voice was considerably louder than Joshua's. There was a lot more Joshua wanted to say, but he decided not to.

"Look, I'm sorry. I won't bring Emma up anymore. But this is obviously stemming from something bigger in you." Joshua let go of his shoulder, Noah's shoulder relaxing as his touch left him.

"Won't you go back to therapy, Noah? Please? You know I miss them too, but it's been four years and you haven't gotten any better." Noah looked down for a moment, waiting to respond to him, or just waiting until Joshua would give up, whatever came first. It felt like an eternity just waiting there.

"I'm just gonna go into my room." Joshua said. He was giving up on talking about it, just like he always did. He knew that nothing good would come out of continuing this conversation. "Please think about it. You know Bethany and I would pay." Noah looked down as Joshua started heading to his room.

"Joshua?" Joshua turned around before going into his room, his hand on the door handle. Noah's head was down but he knew Joshua was listening. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Noah. I really want to help you, but I can't help you if you can't help yourself." Noah breathed a heavy sigh through his nose. He was right. He felt Joshua go into his room, and he walked into his room, wiping away a few lone tears that came down. Noah quickly threw himself onto the bed, then set an alarm for 9:45 pm and fell asleep for a nap, hoping it would make him forget the stupid things he said and did.

A/N: So sorry for not being around lately! It's been crazy! To make it up to you, I'm splitting this chapter into two parts, and will release them both in the same week! Double chapters!

Don't forget to review and follow! See you soon!

~Sami