Author's Note: Hi everyone! First of all, I just want to make it clear that this isn't a new fanfic. Well, not yet anyway. This is just a pilot chapter so that I can find out if people like the idea that I have. The idea for this fic has been floating around in my head for a while now and I just needed to get it out. I know how I want this fanfiction to go, but before I start writing it properly (behind the scenes because I need to get other fanfics finished first) I want to find out what people think. This won't be staying up for long - a day or two at most - but I would be so grateful if you would let me know what you think. Thank you and happy reading :)
Once she had taken the final curler out of her hair, Anna set it down on her dressing table and started to run her fingers through her fair hair to separate the curls. To say that she was feeling nervous about her performance that evening was an understatement. For weeks, ever since she had been informed of her husband's death just days before the end of the war, she had spent most evenings singing in the Dog and Duck and the Grantham Arms to earn the money that she and her three children depended on. Tonight, however, she'd be singing for the Countess of Grantham at Downton Abbey.
Just the other night, after she had finished her performance at the Grantham Arms and had been preparing to go home, she had been approached by a young woman. The young woman had complimented her on her voice before asking her if she would be willing to sing for her cousin's birthday. She had agreed there and then, thrilled at the thought of more work, but when the young woman had said that her cousin was the Countess of Grantham she had been lost for words. Never, in all her life, had she had an honour as great as that. There was one thing that had troubled her about it though.
How would the Crawleys feel about her, a middle-class woman, singing for them?
Would her being middle class bother them? Would they, like her, view her as unworthy to step foot inside their home?
She had raised those concerns to the young woman, whom she had learned was named Lady Rose MacClare, and once Lady Rose had promised her that the Countess and Lord of Grantham wouldn't look down on her she'd agreed to sing.
She just prayed that she didn't make a fool of herself.
She padded over to the full-length mirror after fixing her hair and a tearful smile appeared on her lips when she looked at her reflection. She hadn't noticed when she had been getting dressed, but she was wearing the exact same dress that she had worn on her final date with her husband. The last time she had been stood there in the dress, he had walked up behind her and laced his arms around her waist before kissing her on the neck and telling her that she looked beautiful.
She hadn't believed him, of course, being seven months pregnant with their darling Lily, but it had made her smile.
That was one of the things she had adored the most about him. He'd always known just what to say to make her smile.
Luckily, their children had taken after him in that regard and she never stopped smiling when she was around them.
The sound of the bedroom door opening brought her out of her thoughts a short time later and she turned around to see Grace, her seven-year-old, walk into the room with a pout. 'Mum, I want to play with my doll but Lily won't give it to me and she just screams at me if I try and take it off her,' Grace explained while walking over to her before she wound her arms around her waist and laid her head on her chest. 'Please, will you come downstairs and take it off her for me?'
Anna smiled and smoothed her hand over her little girl's raven hair before placing a kiss on her head. 'Come on then,' She then followed Grace out of the bedroom and down the stairs before the two of them walked into their sitting room and she walked over to where Lily was sitting on the floor. 'Lily, darling,' She knelt down in front of her eight-month-old. 'How about you give Grace her doll back and come and have a cuddle on the sofa with me?' She asked her softly.
Her little girl stared at her for a moment before dropping the doll on the floor and lifting both of her arms with a smile. She then picked her little girl up and balanced her on her hip before walking over to the sofa near the fire and lowering herself onto it. Once she'd gotten comfortable she pressed a kiss to the side of Lily's head and breathed in the smell of the soap that she had used to wash her hair earlier that night. Then she caught sight of Jack sitting in his father's chair.
Out of all three of her children, he was the one that she had been the most worried about since news of Edward's death reached them. When the two men from the war office had come knocking and told her that he had died in the Battle of Amiens, Jack had come into the hall and her heart had broken. He had stood in silence until she had finished talking to the men, but once she had closed the door behind them he had thrown his arms around her middle and burst into tears.
She had never heard him sob like that before and she hoped that she never would again.
Over the last couple of weeks, however, his heartbreak had turned to anger.
Edward had promised the children, something she had begged him not to do, that he was going to live through the war and return to them all in one piece. Now, of course, Jack felt as though he had broken that promise and he was furious. 'How could he do that to us?' He had asked her with tears rolling down his cheeks just days ago. 'How could he make a promise as important as that to all of us and then break it? How could he leave all of us on our own like this, mum?'
She didn't blame him for being angry with his father.
If she was honest, she felt quite irritated with him for making a promise to their children that he'd been unable to keep.
She knew, however, that his anger stemmed from his pain and she wanted nothing more than to ease that pain for him.
'Mum?' The sound of his voice brought her out of her thoughts and she offered him a smile.
'Yes?' She raised her brow.
He set his book down in his lap. 'Do you have to go out tonight?'
'I'm afraid so, sweetheart,' She nodded. 'I'm expected at Downton and we need the money to get through next week.'
He gazed over at her in silence for a minute before leaning back in his father's chair and looking at his lap with a sigh.
'Jack, come here,' The sound of her voice made him lift his head. 'Grace, you too.'
He rose from the chair and Grace stopped plaiting her doll's hair and got up from the floor before both of them walked over to the sofa and sat on either side of their mother. 'I know that our situation isn't ideal right now,' She wrapped an arm around both of them and pulled them closer. 'I know that I go out a lot in the evenings and I know that you wish I didn't, but I'm doing this for the three of you. Not for me. I'm doing it because I adore you and want the best for you.'
'We know, mum,' Jack reassured her with a smile. 'We love you too.'
Grace tilted her head back on her mother's shoulder and looked up at her. 'Will it be like this forever?' She whispered.
'No,' Anna leaned her forehead against hers. 'It's just temporary until something better turns up.'
Grace giggled when her mother grazed her nose with her own.
'I want the two of you to be on your best behaviours for Mrs. Robins tonight. I want you to be polite and helpful and if she asks you to do something then I want you to do it,' Anna gave Jack and Grace a warm squeeze. 'If I come home to a good report, I'll give you both some pocket money and take you into town tomorrow morning for a couple of hours.'
The happiness that her children felt was evident on their faces. 'We'll be good, mum, I promise!' Jack gazed up at her.
'You have to get along with Lily, too.' She smirked at Grace.
Grace looked at her little sister before smiling when she reached out to pat her on the cheek. 'All right…' She nodded.
Just moments later, there was a knock on the front door and Anna lifted Lily out of her lap before placing her in Jack's and getting up from the sofa. 'That'll be Mrs. Robins,' She said before walking out of the sitting room and heading for the front door. 'Good evening, Mrs. Robins,' She smiled after opening the front door and moving to one side to let the elder woman step inside the cottage. 'Thank you so much for agreeing to look after the children for me while I'm out.'
'Of course, dear!' Mrs. Robins took off her hat and coat. 'They're all darlings and it's never a bother to babysit them.'
'Grace has been quite impatient for you to get here, so we should go through and let her see you,' Anna giggled before turning around and starting to walk back down the hall with Mrs. Robins behind her. 'Look who's here, you two,' She said after she and Mrs. Robins had entered the sitting room before Grace looked up and a bright smile crossed her lips.
'Mrs. Robins!' The seven-year-old rose from the sofa and hurried over to her before lacing her arms around her waist.
Anna giggled as she watched her daughter lie her head on the elder woman's chest before she glanced at the clock and checked the time. 'Goodness me, I have to go if I'm going to make it in time,' She realised before Jack stood from the sofa with Lily and walked over to her. She then accepted her little girl from him and held her close before stroking her fair curls. 'Goodnight, sweet-pea.' She whispered to her before pressing her lips against her forehead in a languid kiss.
Once she had finished saying goodnight to Lily she handed her over to Mrs. Robins before allowing Grace to enter her arms and hide her face in her dress. 'When it's bedtime, it's bedtime,' She reminded her while holding her near before Grace tilted her head back and nodded at her with a smile. She leaned down to kiss her hairline before letting go of her and turning to her son. 'I want you to help Mrs. Robins to look after your sisters, okay?' She caressed his cheek softly.
'I will, mum, I promise.' He reassured her before sliding his arms around her waist and lying his head on her shoulder.
She held him tight to her while combing her fingers through his short blonde hair. 'I don't care if you're mad at him or not,' She whispered to him after kissing him on the temple. 'Your father would be so proud of you if he were with us.'
Jack pulled back from her shoulder and gave her a tearful smile. 'He would?'
'Yes,' She nodded. 'And I never want you to think otherwise.'
The two of them shared a smile before she took his face in her hands and left one last kiss to the centre of his forehead.
'I really do have to go now, my darlings, so I'll see you all in the morning.' She said to her children.
'Night, mum,' Grace and Jack replied before she walked out of the sitting room and went to put on her coat and hat.
She was still nervous about singing in front of the Countess of Grantham and her family that evening.
She was still worried that she was going to mess up and make a fool of herself.
The one thing that gave her some confidence, however, was knowing that she was providing for her beautiful children.
And that was all the motivation she would ever need.
She pulled her coat tighter around herself as she walked along the drive that led to Downton and as she stared up at the house she couldn't believe her eyes. Even though it looked rather intimidating, it was the most beautiful house she had ever seen. Once she had reached the top of the drive she began to walk in the direction of the courtyard that she'd been told about and once she had found it she approached the back door. She then rang the doorbell and slid both hands into her pockets to keep them warm while she waited for someone to come and open the door and allow her into the house.
She didn't have to wait long.
Soon enough, an elder man with a cane opened the door and offered her a smile. 'Can I help at all, miss?' He inquired.
'Yes, thank you,' She returned his smile. 'I'm here to sing for the Countess of Grantham's birthday. I'm Anna Miller.'
She watched as he thought about what she had told him for a moment before the expression that spread across his face told her that he'd remembered. 'Ah, yes, Mrs. Hughes did mention you,' He told her before moving to one side so that she could enter the house. Once she had walked down the steps he closed the door and descended them himself before holding out his hand. 'I'm John Bates – valet to the Lord of Grantham.' He explained before she slid her hand into his.
'It's nice to meet you.' She shook his hand.
The two of them held one another's gaze for a moment before he dropped her hand and cleared his throat with a smile. 'Mrs. Hughes has just gone into her sitting room. If you'd like to take off your coat and hat and go and make yourself comfortable in the servant's hall, which is just through there, I'll go and let her know that you're here.' He said to her.
'That would be kind of you, thank you.' She replied before he gave her a nod and left her side.
It didn't take long for her to take off her hat and coat and walk down to the servant's hall and, once she had, she pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down. Her heart wasn't pounding as hard and she wasn't as nervous about her performance now that she had made it to Downton. She was certain that, if those upstairs were as kind and welcoming as Mr. Bates had been to her just now, things would be all right and she'd feel at ease the moment she entered the hall.
'Mrs. Miller,' She rose from her chair when Mrs. Hughes entered the hall with a gentle smile. 'Welcome to Downton.'
'Thank you, Mrs. Hughes,' She replied. 'But please, call me Anna. Everyone else does.'
Mrs. Hughes nodded. 'I'm afraid the upstairs dinner ran a little late, so the family haven't come out of the dining room just yet. Would you like a cup of tea while you wait for them to finish, though? I'm certain Mrs. Patmore won't mind.'
'That would be lovely, thank you.' Anna told her.
'Mr. Bates,' Mrs. Hughes turned to the valet. 'You wouldn't mind keeping Anna company, would you?'
He shook his head at her. 'Of course not, Mrs. Hughes.'
She gave him a smile before stepping past him and leaving the sitting room and once he and Anna were alone he made his way around to his spot at the table. The two of them sat down opposite each other then and after giving her a smile, John laid his hands in his lap. 'Have you always been a singer, Anna? If…if you don't mind me asking.' He asked her.
'I don't mind,' She reassured him. 'I sang a lot when I was growing up and I always imagined what it would be like to be a famous singer, but life took me down a different road. I entered service at Skelton Park when I was seventeen and made it to head housemaid. Then a man named Edward Miller arrived to replace one of the footmen who'd left and we ended up falling for each other. Three-and-a-half years later we'd left service, gotten married and our son had arrived.'
He gave her a smile. 'So, what brought you here? What led you to start a singing career?'
'Edward…' She paused for a moment. 'Edward was killed in the Battle of Amiens just a couple of days before the end of the war. I do receive a pension, being his widow, and I do receive a dependents' allowance for my children because all three of them are under the age of sixteen, but it's not much. I don't pretend to earn much from singing some nights at the Dog and Duck or the Grantham Arms, but it…' She looked at him. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't burden you with this.'
He shook his head. 'You don't have a thing to apologise for. I was the one who asked.'
'No-one warned me that it would be this hard without Edward,' She whispered. 'It's the hardest thing I've ever done.'
'It must be hard,' He sighed. 'But you're succeeding simply by putting one foot in front of the other.'
She offered him a soft smile. 'It's the children that are keeping my spirits up. They're all just like him and I love that.'
'What're they like?' He raised his brow at her.
'Jack's reserved and smart, Grace is independent and thinks she's going to be the next Picasso,' She gave him a smirk. 'And Lily, my youngest, is nothing like either of them. She never stops babbling and she's the clingiest child I've ever met, but she gives the best cuddles when I can't sleep at night and she's one of the gentlest little girls in all the world.'
He chuckled. 'It sounds like you have rather an interesting home-life.'
'You can say that again,' She laughed. 'It's chaotic, but that's what makes it fun.'
She turned to glance over her shoulder at the sound of footsteps sometime later and offered Mrs. Hughes a smile when she entered the servant's hall with her cup of tea. 'Here you are, Anna,' The housekeeper smiled while setting it down. 'Now, I have some things to see to in my sitting room, but someone will come and tell you when it's time to head up.'
'Thank you, Mrs. Hughes, you've been so kind to me.' She replied.
The elder woman gave her a gentle nod and laid a hand on her arm before turning and leaving the servant's hall again.
'Are you nervous?' John asked once the two of them were alone.
'A little,' She admitted. 'Can I ask you something?'
He smiled. 'You can ask me anything.'
'Do…do you think that the family will think less of me for being middle class?' She inquired with a raise of her brow.
'Certainly not,' He shook his head. 'His Lordship and Her Ladyship are two of the kindest people I've ever known.'
She breathed a soft sigh of relief. 'I've never sung in a house as big as this or for someone as important as her before.'
'I'd like to listen to you sing sometime,' He told her while she took a sip of tea. 'If you wouldn't mind that, of course.'
She looked at him for a moment. 'I'm going to be singing at the Dog and Duck the night after tomorrow, so you could come and listen then if you're free. To be honest, it would be rather nice to have someone I know there for once. Most of the time, I get there for seven and sing from half-past until eight o'clock. Then I have a bit of a break before singing again from eight until nine.' She watched John think for a moment before he smiled at her and leaned back in his seat.
'It's my half-day, so I'll be there.' He reassured her.
For some reason, the thought of him being there to support her filled her with happiness.
The two of them sat together in silence for a short time then before she looked over her shoulder again at the sound of someone coming down the staircase. 'Mrs. Miller? I'm James,' The young footman said after he had entered the room. 'Mr. Carson said to come down and tell you that you can come upstairs now. The family are leaving the dining room.'
She nodded before standing from the table and looking over at John for a minute. 'Thank you for being so nice to me.'
'You gave me no reason not to be,' He smiled. 'I'll ask Mrs. Patmore to fix you another cup of tea when you're done.'
'Thank you.' She tucked in her chair before turning on her heel and following James upstairs.
Once he was alone, John leaned further back in his chair and sighed to himself as he looked at the chair in which Anna had been sat just moments ago. He was unsure of what it was, but there was just something about her that drew him to her. It might have been how her eyes had sparkled when he had shaken her hand earlier on. Or it could have been how she had smiled at him when the two of them had been sat together. It could even have been her personality as a whole.
Whatever it was, he wanted to learn more about this Anna Miller.
He wanted to get to know the real her.
It was sometime later, after the servants had eaten their dinner when John began to walk up the servant's staircase. He knew that it was wrong to pry – that was something his mother had taught him from a young age – but he just couldn't help himself. When he had been sat cleaning His Lordship's riding boots his thoughts had wandered back to Anna. He had wondered how her voice sounded when she sang. Was it strong? Or was it soft and sweet? He just had to find out.
He had finished all of his tasks before coming upstairs which meant that he was able to listen to Anna sing without the fear of someone coming to look for him and finding him prying. His bad knee protested as he continued to walk up the staircase, but soon enough he reached the green baize door which separated the hall from the servant's quarters and he sighed with relief as he leaned against the wall for a moment. That was when he heard it. That was when he heard her.
Anna's voice was a little muffled as it came through the door, but it was still the most gorgeous sound he had ever had the pleasure of hearing. 'I would say such wonderful things to you,' He heard her sing in a soft voice. 'There would be such wonderful things to do…if you were the only girl in the world and I were the only boy.' She held the last note for a moment or two and he couldn't help but smile when he heard the family applaud her once she had finished the song.
She had been so worried that none of them would like her because she was of a lower class to them, but their response to her performance just proved that no-one thought less of her because of that. Even though all he'd been able to listen to had been the end of the song, he knew that she had given an incredible performance and was deserving of every last bit of that applause. He couldn't wait to be able to applaud her himself after listening to her sing at the Dog and Duck.
He hoped that she told His Lordship and Her Ladyship that she was struggling if one of them asked her about it.
He hoped that the two of them were generous and said that they wanted to help her.
From what he had heard, she was an incredible mother and deserved to have as big a support system as was possible.
She deserved to be happy.
'Did you have fun tonight?' He asked while walking with her to the back door later that evening.
'I did, rather,' She smiled. 'I stopped feeling nervous once I'd started singing and everyone was so lovely to me after.'
He stopped and waited for her to put on her hat and coat once the two of them had made it to the steps which led up to the back door. 'There's something that I need to confess,' He told her once she had fastened up the front of her coat. 'I snuck upstairs and listened to you sing after dinner this evening. I apologise for prying, but I just felt this…this urge to listen to you sing and I just…' He stopped rambling on when he looked at her and saw that she was smiling up at him.
'You don't have to apologise,' She said while looking up into his eyes. 'You listened to me sing, Mr. Bates, that's all.'
He hummed with a nod.
'I'd have loved to sit and talk with you for a little longer, but I need to get home so that I can relieve poor Mrs. Robins for the night,' She put on her hat before beginning to ascend the steps. 'I…I look forward to seeing you again, though.'
'As do I, Anna,' He replied. 'Very much.'
The two of them shared one last smile then before she opened the back door and stepped out into the night, a deep sigh escaping her when she closed the door behind her and began to walk back through the courtyard. He was such a lovely man. Gentle, patient, understanding…he reminded her so much of her darling Edward. She wanted to get to know him better. There was something so mysterious and secretive about him and it just made her want to learn more about him.
And that was what she planned to do…
Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading this pilot chapter and I hope that you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought and if you think there's anything that I could change about it if and when I start writing this fanfiction properly. Thank you so much for your support with my other fanfictions and I'll see you all soon.
