Chapter 1: Diapers from Hell

Dante sprang up awake as soon as Nero cried and cursed when he fell out of bed. Oh God, what is that smell? Dante winced as a foul smell reached his extremely sensitive nose. WOW! He ran to Nero's crib and was almost dropped to his knees. Oh MY GOD it's the baby. HOW DID FATHER SURVIVE THIS? HE HAD THE TWO OF US!

"Wow kid, that's powerful." Dante whistled. "Let's get you cleaned up yea?" Nero giggled as his father struggled with the very smelly diaper!

"Ok…." Dante breathed as Nero was cleaned and a new diaper on. "It's ok Kid, it's gonna take a lot more than that to kill your old man." Nero gurgled as his father picked him up after he disposed the diaper and washed his hands. "How about a story huh?" Nero smiled and Dante laughed softly as he picked up an adventure story. He hugged his son and both went downstairs and settled in the deep red armchair that Dante purchased as part of Devil May Cry's makeover. While Lady watched and tended to the baby, Dante did a complete clean and makeover of the office, making it more into a home. There was no more trash or papers littering the place. No more lewd pictures. Everywhere was clean! Even Dante himself was more self-conscious of his own appearance! He still stayed with his red and black but now he looked more professional rather than a ragamuffin male stripper. His half of the Perfect Amulet around his neck and his hair, although longer now, was brushed down. Nero gurgled as his little lands played with the amulet. Dante chuckled warmly and knew that his son was a bit impatient. He opened the book and began to read of Knights, Dragons and a beautiful princess.

"Hey Dan…." Lady began but was shushed by the Devil Hunter when he placed a finger to his lips and nodded towards a sleeping Nero. "Oh, sorry."

"It's ok, you didn't know." Dante whispered. "He just went down." He nuzzled the sleeping infant and set the book down. Lady was shocked that the foul mouthed, loud, brawler was paternal.

"Wow, look at you…" She said stunned. "You sure you're you?"

"Yea Lady it's me." Dante laughed as he carefully got up from his armchair and adjusted Nero. "Just learning as I go."

"You make it look easy."

"Oh, don't let that fool you, I almost died from a very powerful diaper."

"And here I was wasting bullets." Lady laughed. "Now I know."

"You bitch." He laughed as he set Nero down into a bassinet next to his desk, tucking him in and sitting his usual way, feet up, sitting back in his chair. Lady smirked. No one would believe this, Badass Daddy.

"Dante, I swear to everything, it is quite a change,"

"Well, I have to, for Nero." Dante said. "I'm still kicking demon ass."

"That's true but…." When the phone rang, Dante caught it immediately before his son woke up.

"Devil May Cry?" He greeted as he pulled out his ledger and a pen. He listened to the details before thanking the client and hanging up. He leaned over his sleeping son and kissed him.

"Daddy loves you, Nero. Be good for Aunt Lady ok?" Nero turned in his sleep, in response and waved a tiny hand. "Awww, he waved!"

"That is sweet." Lady smiled. "Go on, I got him, kick ass Daddy."

"You know it!" Dante said as he holstered his guns and grabbed the Force Edge. "Instructions are in the left- hand drawer. I'll be back soon." With a wave, he carefully left the office and somehow Nero sensed this, for he whimpered and cried! Lady gulped and then set her stuff down.

"Ok Nero, let's do this."

Hours later, Dante came back home, a bit singed but alive and well. After setting his guns and the Force Edge down he checked the basinet, no baby. What, where?! He saw Lady's things, deducting that she was still in the place. He searched around and heard gurgles from Nero's room. He walked in to find Nero newly awakened from his sleep and Lady slumped over, lightly snoring.

"Hey, my little man," Dante greeted with a chuckle. "You tired her out huh? That's my boy. But whew, what a diaper, no wonder you woke up." Dante grinned. "Let's have Aunt Lady do it." He set his son down and after sneaking out of the room, threw a soft toy at her head, waking her up!

"Huh what? Oh, wow Nero, that's a stink!" Lady moaned. Dante grinned and slipped into his room for a well -deserved shower and some 'me' time.

Shortly after his shower, Dante sat back in his armchair with a sigh and put up his feet onto a footstool. He remembered his father doing the exact same thing a few times. Now I understand why, damn, this feels great! He was about to shut his eyes when Lady came downstairs.

"Hey how was the mission?"

"A milk run, how was baby duty?" Dante asked and smirked when Lady winced at the word 'duty'. Lady grabbed a beer then sat down on the couch.

"Your son got the most…..diabolical diapers Dante."

"I know." The red clad Devil chuckled. "Which was why I entrusted the last one, to you." Lady blinked as she took in his statement.

"You're such a dick!" She growled. Dante threw back his head and laughed heartily. Hey, what's good for the goose is GREAT for the gander. "But other than that, he's a great baby."

"Yes, he is." Dante said. "Thanks for helping me out." Lady blinked in surprise before smiling.

"No problem."

Dante settled down into bed and sighed before setting an alarm. He knew that Nero would be up in a few hours, but Dante was eager to catch a few winks. He was about to pass out when Nero cried.

"Oh little man, have mercy on your Daddy will you?" He got up and picked up a wailing Nero, who immediately quieted down. Dante smiled. There wasn't anything wrong, Nero just missed his Daddy.

"Aw, I missed you too." Dante said tenderly as he kissed the baby on the forehead. "How about a story hm?" Nero cooed as if to say yes as his father picked out a book for them to enjoy and bond over.