Note: Apologies for the long delay since last posting – it's that time of the year when I have a work-related exam to take and an entire thick textbook to memorise! The actual exam had been delayed by lockdown restrictions, but looks like it should be at the end of this month. Most of my time outside of work hours has been spent revising, but I've really been missing posting, so thought I'd put out something at least before the exam. Any positive exam-passing vibes, thoughts, and prayers please send them my way. I hope everyone is well and healthy. Thank you to those who reached out to check I was okay or to gently nudge me to get posting again. Many thanks.
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DAY 19 – Briefing
Chapter 19 – Lost in Translation
Halling had spoken very well, as he did always. He had a deep commanding tone that held one's attention and his report had been uncluttered with the details that were readily available to everyone on the supplied electronic pads. Teyla glanced down at her own pad resting on her lap. She already had seen every piece of information held on the pad, including today's most recent updates, but she had still glanced at the salient details as Halling had spoken. In particular, she had once again studied the images of the Wraith bodies found in the Rogue Hive's Queen's Chamber, but Imseti had far more to supply when she was to speak later on the Skerti and the bodies. Though first Silvar was to speak on the research into the Rogue Hive ship and the alien drive tech, and she watched as the scientist strode out across the narrow stage to take up the space that Halling had just vacated.
Lowering her eyes back to her pad, she tapped through to the start of Silvar's report. In the darkened space of the auditorium, the little lights of the pads' screen glowed along the lines of seats around her, but she let her gaze shift over to John's pad held in his hand, his elbow resting on his thigh. His knee was a warm solid presence against hers, and was the only contact they could afford in such a public setting. The urge to reach out and run her hand long his strong warm leg, to draw his attention back to her, was almost overwhelming.
It had only been a handful of days since they'd last seen each other, when they'd said a very polite and public goodbye before he and Lieutenant Ford had departed through the Facility's Portal back to Atlantis. Still, she had missed him desperately. It seemed that each time they parted ways that she felt his absence even more painfully. She'd done all she could to distract herself from the strange empty ache in her chest without him. She'd spent time sat beside Oneakka's bed - telling him further details of Atlantis and its inhabitants - she'd sparred with Halling and others in the gym, and attended several ongoing emergency Military Council meetings on behalf of the Elite. The invasion of the Rogue Hive into Alliance space had caused a great deal of anxiety among the most powerful within the Alliance, and the military leaders of all worlds, space-stations, and systems were under considerable pressure to try and guarantee the safety of their populations from another sudden abrupt, and seemingly unstoppable, new method of space travel that the Skerti had used to invade Alliance space.
While working as an occasional Elite representative to the Military Council she had had to deal with the High Council all too frequently, and it was nearly always a struggle and a test of her patience; however, it seemed that the High Council were now especially unnerved and combative. She suspected that it was not only due to the Rogue Hive issue and the new enemy threat of the Skerti, but also political pressures. Kolya's abrupt and shockingly successful rise to power was still creating political waves throughout the Alliance. Cowen, though a tyrant and nearly always unpredictable, had been in power for a significant length of time over a stable Genii Confederation within the Alliance, but in one swift and complete strike, Kolya had not only kicked Cowen aside, but was clearly responsible for his murder. Though the propaganda Kolya was sending out was somewhat obvious, it appeared to have been greeted with great delight by the Genii population who had been growing weary of Cowen's rule. For other planetary and system leaders who had been Cowen's contemporaries, such a successful coup had clearly caused significant unease. If it could happen to Cowen, then were their own seats of power as safe as they believed? And with the return of the threat of a culling from the formerly safe skies of Alliance planets, it was a growing political threat for leaders to provide security and promises of protection to their peoples, even if that just wasn't possible yet.
Today's briefing was hopefully going to help though, for all Alliance members would now have access to the latest reports and research into the Rogue Hive and the new Skerti threat that had been gathered by Halling's teams. Hopefully, as had always been the case for the Alliance, their combined strength, intelligence, and scientific advancement would provide results and help them all find a way to stop the Skerti threat.
As Silvar triggered the wall of screens to show a photographic image of the Rogue Hive, she let her gaze shift to John once more. This time he sensed her attention and looked round. The lights of the wall screens glowed across the left side of his face, adding a lovely shine to his eyes as he smiled at her, while the other side of his face was cast in handsome shadows. She smiled back at him, letting herself show some of the affection she wished she could openly express were they not in such a public location. His leg shifted against hers a fraction, a limited but welcome caress.
"Welcome again everyone," Silvar's voice cut into the moment and she forced herself to look away from the enticing image of her John. Only to catch herself momentarily shifting her gaze back to him out of the corner of her eyes.
Forcing her attention forward to Silvar and the screens, she made herself focus on the important briefing and on the increased press of John's knee against hers.
"As Honoured Elite Halling explained," Silvar started, "I am Lead of Elite Engineering Research and Development and my teams were brought in to study both the Rogue Hive itself and the new alien drive tech found within in. I will first start with our discoveries regarding the Hive, though my report on your computer pads contains far more data for you to study, including all scan and test analysis results, I will present the salient points. As Honoured Elite Halling already detailed, the Hive ship was showing extensive and accelerating degeneration as a result of the damage sustained from the radiation emitted by the alien drive."
He turned and looked up at the screen as images began to play. "These images were taken every four hours over the days since the Hive was stopped. They show, quite vividly, the rapid collapse of the Hive's superstructure." Each image showed the progression of the collapsing and crumbling Hive in the open space of the Arkinian System. "The damage from the radiation destroyed all organic and inorganic matter within the ship and, we believe, it was only the natural regenerative properties of Hive ship fluids that enabled the ship to last as long as it did. However, the damage was irreversible and once the Hive's internal lifeforce stopped registering, the ship became an inert lump of dead matter, the scattering of which our movements in and around the Hive have only helped accelerate and we are now left with this." The images finished with a picture taken this morning of the remains of the Hive. It was barely recognisable as anything now, looking more like a piece of charred meat on two protruding grey bones floating in space.
"This last section of the Hive was the deepest part of the former ship and is where a Hive's lifeforce is centred. We expect this to break apart by the end of tomorrow," Silvar reported as he turned back to the audience. "Unfortunately, this damage also corrupted all computer systems within the Hive and we were unable to retrieve any useful data from any console or dataline. Outside of visual inspections and analysis of the radiation damage, the Hive itself provided little else for us to study. However, we have been able to ascertain that the Hive's exposure to the radiation was constant and most likely lasted for several weeks. This fact alone shows that no attempt was seemingly made to reduce the impact of the damage on either the Hive and its inhabitants by turning off the drive. As Honoured Elite Halling already presented, it is our conclusion that the Skerti Queen had no affection for the Wraith or the Hive, and was perhaps staving off damage to her own body by feeding on the Wraith. It is possible then that the radiation damage was a way of her controlling the Wraith population and, perhaps, purposefully killing them."
Murmuring at that conclusion quietly fluttered through the auditorium, and Teyla saw John share a few looks with Dr McKay and Carson beside him.
"Of course," Silvar continued, "such suppositions are not part of my teams' mandate, as we focus on the science involved. So, let us now focus on the recovered alien drive itself." Teyla swore she could feel the attentive focus of the auditorium increase as Silvar triggered the screen wall to show an image of a convex wall of Wraith webbing, with various tubules and wet membrane pipes running into it. "This was the initial view our team had upon entering the extra drive pod. As you can see, it appears that various Wraith power conducts had been rigged up into a standard Wraith organic wall structure, inside of which was housed the drive. When we removed the conducts and webbing layers," Silvar added, "we revealed this."
A new image showed the surprisingly small alien drive nestled within thick membranes, its metallic egg-shaped shell and front panels, including the uppermost purple crystal, sharply contrary to the Wraith tech around it. Whispers rose up in the audience and almost everyone sat forward in their seats, including John at her side, his thigh pressing further against hers as he stared at the display.
"And this is how it looked after we removed all Wraith organic matter," Silvar added and the next few images showed the drive as it was unplugged from the Hive, cleaned, and in the final image it was sat within the research station's isolation chamber, the drive's metal shell now gleaming.
On the other side of John, Teyla could hear Dr McKay whispering agitatedly about what he saw.
"As you can see," Silvar kept up his report, "the tech is clearly not of Wraith origin. The outer metal shell is a mix of several metals, which ties in precisely with metal fragments studied from the Seed Ship and Slug Robot housings which were previously also encountered in the Arkinian System. Previous tests on the organic inner part of the Slug Robots dated that tech back to the Ancestral era." There were more whispers at that announcement. "Therefore, our current working theory is that these three pieces of tech are from the same origin and, most likely, date from the Ancestral era. Whether this means this tech is Skerti in nature and design, or whether they have utilised very old tech for their own means, we cannot say for certain."
Silvar turned his shoulder to the audience and looked up at the screens as a new image appeared, showing a closer look at the front of the drive. "Initial scans of the drive provided a very unique internal structure. These scan images move gradually through the drive and show a complex fusion of metallic, organic, and crystalline components inside.
John had sat back in his seat again revealing Dr McKay still leant forward on the other side of John, the scientist's electronic pad held in both his hands and the small screen displaying the images as playing on the screen wall.
"As many of you will, no doubt, immediately determine from the crystalline structures," Silvar continued, "there are significant similarities to Ancestral tech." Teyla saw Dr McKay nodding hurriedly at that conclusion as he dropped his attention to the pad in his hands, scrolling through graphs and lines of text of the report. "We have not yet attempted to disassemble the inner part of the drive," Silvar added, "but we were able to remove the outer shell that acted only as a protective casing."
The screens shifted to the drive now without its shell. The front panel of the drive, with its uppermost egg-shaped purple crystal, still remained in place, but around it there was a complex looking mix of organic whitish-green material and the identifiable ends of Ancestral-like crystals protruding out from deeper within the drive.
"We were able to carefully take tiny scrapings off one edge of a crystal and analyse it," Silvar triggered the screens to show the graph that was already on Dr McKay's' glowing pad screen. "As you can see, the results fit exactly into the parameters of Ancestral-made crystal circuits. This finding obviously presents a number of questions," Silvar understated as he turned to the audience. "Are the Skerti able to adapt Ancestral technology for their own uses? Perhaps the form of transport created by this drive was formerly designed by the Ancestors only to now be utilised by the Skerti for their own means? Or, perhaps, were the Skerti allies of the Ancestors and they shared technology? If so, this would be a unique case. We have never seen such cooperation in sharing technology from the Ancestors before now, and one has to wonder why."
Dr McKay began whispering something to John that sounded hurried and excited.
"Nevertheless," Silvar continued, "it appears that there is Ancestral tech within the drive, which is something I am sure we will all discuss later. For now though, I shall move on to our very latest findings."
The screens shifted to an image of the drive now with various Alliance cables and wires attached to it. "We have been able to finally power the drive up to a very minimal level, which activated its basic systems. Using a spliced-in Wraith component that we found attached to the drive within the Hive, our computers were able to interface with the drive and identify some systems and it has provided us with a surprising amount of data."
Again Dr McKay was whispering to John, but Teyla couldn't make any of it out. John lifted a hand as if telling Dr McKay to be patient.
"Most significantly," Silvar stated only to pause and turn to the audience, drawing all eyes to him. Silvar had always had a slight flare for the dramatic, which Teyla had always put down to his desire to ensure his teams' findings were taken very seriously, but today it seemed intended to ensure all attention was fixed on him. "We have determined that the radiation emitted by the drive on the Hive was not a normal function."
A faint and slightly confused silent pause seemed to hold the audience.
"It is our conclusion," Silvar continued, "that the drive was altered to specifically emit the dangerous radiation that we registered and that so adversely affected the Wraith. The drive had a reset function, which of note is a known system function found in all Ancestral tech, and once reset, the radiation was no longer emitted. As the Skerti Queen was able to outfit the drive into the Hive and she knew how to use it, this leads us to conclude that she purposefully set the drive to emit the radiation, most likely in order to damage, control and, perhaps, ultimately kill the Wraith and the Hive."
This conclusion had only been reached and reported by Silvar's team yesterday and Teyla now lowered her attention to her own pad to scroll through to the data in question. Not only did it add to the running theory that the Skerti were an enemy to the Wraith, but it also suggested a very subversive and oddly cruel way for the Skerti to kill the Wraith running the Rogue Hive for her. Was that the intent of one lone Skerti? Or was it a behaviour and intention shared by all of her kind? If, indeed, there were more Skerti.
John's knee shifted a little against hers, purposefully requesting her attention, so she looked up and around at him. He pulled an exaggerated expression to communicate that he found the report very interesting and she smiled back at him as she nodded.
"Now moving onto what we have been able to read on the drive when it was used to jump the Hive across our space," Silvar announced. "You will see here readings captured above Atreus and in the Arkinian System when the Rogue Hive appeared. As you can see on this display, the data recorded suggests that some aspect of subspace is being used for the transport, but seemingly without either a Portal wormhole or a hyperspace engine."
John dropped his attention to his pad, seemingly intent to listen and study the information, so she pulled her attention away from him to focus on the briefing once again.
"...now we do not know the method, but if we look at this graph here," Silvar continued. Teyla frowned at the display. This level of spacial dynamics and subspace science was beyond her. She understood the basics, as all Elite were taught, but the science of it had never quite made sense, but then she was a warrior and her studies had been focused in that direction.
John's knee nudged hers again, calling her attention and she willingly looked round to see that he held his pad on his leg pressed against hers and that the screen was glowing with lines of text. It was a standard note-taking programme on all electronic pads and one which she had taught him how to use back during the days of the Intergalactic Conference on Athos. During those talks, she and John had used the note-taking programme to communicate during the seminars so that he could ask her questions. The programme had a translation system so that John could type in his question in his own language and it would display the Alliance translation. Or as close as it could get. She and John had laughed over the translations it had come up with and they had started to use the pads to communicate to each other more with joking comments and sharing opinions during the Conference talks. It seemed that John had remembered and had found a way for them to talk in the public space of the auditorium.
She leaned a little closer to him to see the pad's screen lying on his strong thigh.
'These Skerti do not present as friendly' – the screen displayed the pad's best translation of John's typed comment.
She settled her own pad on her leg next to John's, called up the note taking programme on the pad, selected the translation into John's language, and typed her reply to him.
'I agree. It is a concern', she typed.
John leaned a little closer to see the screen, but it was clearly an excuse to lean his shoulder and arm up against hers. Like a hormonally charged teenager, just that simple act felt powerful and almost erotic. She leaned back in against him as much as possible, sure that anyone in the higher chairs above them would simply see her communicating with a translation programme with her alien Husband – a very innocent and understandable procedure.
John tapped in another comment on his pad and the translation played out for her to see. 'We remain unable to locate information about the Skerti in Atlantis'.
As before in the Conference, she could not help finding the very formal language of the translation amusing considering it was from John. He never spoke so formally. One of the benefits of the Intergalactic Conference had been that the language experts had made great strides in understanding both John's language and for Atlantis to understand Alliance standard. However, the more casual aspects and lingo of a language would take further refinement for the linguists.
'That perhaps suggests the Ancestors did purposefully conceal what they knew about them', she typed back to him.
"...and here, the output is not dissimilar to Portal readings," Silvar continued at the front of the auditorium. This part of the briefing clearly was as of little interest to John as it was for her. She supposed neither of them needed to be able to analyse the complicated data now showing behind Silvar. To John's left, Dr McKay was still leaning forward in his seat and nodding along with Silvar's briefing, though appeared to be muttering to himself as he looked from the wall screens to his pad's screen.
John finished typing a reply, so she dropped her attention back to his pad. 'The thing may have occurred that everything went stomach upwards and they concealed the thing,' John's pad displayed.
She frowned, confused and somewhat amused at the bizarre translation as she re-read it.
'Stomach upwards?' She typed to him.
John typed a reply on his screen. 'Moved towards a lower planetary pole.' She frowned, still confused, so John tried again, and the translation provided 'Proceeded negatively'.
She nodded, understanding now though still faintly amused at the pad's version of John's turn of phrase. However, she believed she understood the meaning of 'stomach upwards' as presenting someone lying on their back, presumably knocked down, injured, or even dead, so she could understand the Earth phrase.
'You believe that perhaps the Ancestors worked with the Skerti, but something when wrong and the Ancestors concealed it?' She checked and this time John nodded as he quickly typed a reply. He was getting much faster at finding the letters on the display.
'I would gamble currency that the Ancestors involved up towards the neck and it went stomach upwards at great velocity', the pad summarised John's theory.
She had to cover her mouth to stop herself from chuckling at the translation, despite the seriousness of the discussion and event around them.
'What occurred [possible question],' his pad screen displayed and his knee and shoulder both pushed a little firmer against hers.
She glanced at him to see his queried expression and the amused sparkle in his darkened eyes. She returned her attention to her pad.
'The translation was amusing. It cannot convey how you speak', she typed.
'It is positive the computer pad cannot identify what I am thinking', he typed and his shoulder shifted against hers in a way that was clearly suggestive.
She had to restrain her expression and the grin that wanted to control her face.
'Have you missed me [possible question]' he typed next.
She angled her head as if thinking deeply on a problem and then typed her reply. 'Perhaps'.
'Good' he typed back. 'My quarters are cold without you there'.
She grinned happily at the translated romantic comment.
She considered what to type back only a sudden tap on the top of her left shoulder snapped her head round, John doing the same, and they both parted to look up between them to see a pad held above her shoulder. She looked up to its owner only to remember that Ronon was sat behind her on the next tiered level of seats up from her and John. Ronon was leaning forward over his seat's little desk to hold his pad down towards her and he waggled it, encouraging her to take it.
She took his offered pad, but could already tell from the sparkle of amusement in Ronon's eyes what it would be about. She looked at Ronon's pad's screen to see it showed the same note-taking programme and Ronon had written her a message.
'Marriage going well, I see'.
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The writing tool ran a smooth line of ink along the thin refined paper, outlining squares, lines, arrows, and circles for trees.
It felt nice to have the paper pad back, his own from his Sythus quarters brought to him by Madesh during the younger man's babysitting duty.
With Halling, Seeal and Massa all at the official Skerti briefing, Oneakka's usual minders had seen fit to provide alternative and constant company. As if something would happen if he was left alone for a mere minute. He was stuck in his Healing Bay bed and could only walk a short distance with help, but apparently he wasn't allowed to be left unattended.
Madesh wasn't bad company at least, providing firsthand reports on the repairs to the Sythus. Oneakka had read all the reports on the ship's extensive repair and remodelling work, but he preferred Madesh's intel, as all the crew had been included in the work on adapting the Sythus to the latest improvements and refining Ru' new engine. It sounded like everything was well on track, though obviously the Sythus was clearly going to be battle ready well before him. Madesh was clearly enjoying helping out with the repair duties, though not as much as his and Seeal's social group's upcoming outing to Myrtle's.
Oneakka sneered at just thinking of the slimy, smooth-featured Myrtle.
He had made sure to brief Madesh on watching out for Myrtle, as he would bet currency that the snake would make a beeline for Seeal on her next trip to the club. Madesh had promised to be alert and ensure Myrtle was appropriate around Seeal. Not that Madesh could probably do much to keep Myrtle under control, but he was the best that Oneakka could arrange. He'd thought about maybe sending in Massa, but that would involve too many questions and insinuations and Massa got on too well with Myrtle for it to be helpful anyway.
Right now, Oneakka had few tools to be able to use.
The writing tool was good at least, though it was a little awkward to draw while lying on his side. He'd been studiously keeping to Meiyo's instructions that he lie on his sides and back, as well as being sat up. It was when he had to lie on his right side that was the worst, compressing his wound the most, but he did that side the least, and his scans had shown the frequent repositioning was working. He didn't feel quite as rough as he did last week. He still hurt pretty much all over, but at least his scalp had stopped itching all the damn time, his hair grown through enough now to stop him constantly wanting to scratch at his head. He was off the nausea-inducing medications and on a new stage of healing drugs, so his mood had improved somewhat, though he still felt the frequent urge to throw something across the room, but that was nothing new for him in recovery. He was at least starting to see real improvements, even if everyone else still wanted to watch him constantly like he was a child likely to hurt himself.
He'd gotten a little time alone now at least, having sent Madesh on an errand, so he'd started sketching. He turned the pad and added another line, trying to remember the details of the latest dream. 'Nightmare' would probably be a better description though. Not that he'd previously considered aimless fearful running from fields to abandoned barns in his dreams as nightmare material, but that was the narrative his brain seemed intent on repeating every night or anytime his drug-filled body fell asleep without his permission.
He'd hoped that maybe mapping out all the fields and buildings he could remember from his dreams would help. Maybe form a pattern that would help him get rid of the looping nightmares.
Except, nothing looked familiar or made any more sense to him now it was sketched out.
Yesterday he'd even gone into the Ugun database within the Facility's archives and pulled up some of the aerial view images that had been captured of his planet from orbit not long before the fateful last day.
He'd hoped that, maybe, what he'd been dreaming had been memories of real fields and places from when he'd been a child; but nothing had matched and he'd gotten...upset...as the images had reached his own family's village. When he'd found the actual training Field in the image from so long ago.
He'd shut the computer down and not looked at any of those images again. Not focused on the tiny dots in the images that had been real people...his people.
Some of those dots would have been his actual family, older than he remembered as they had been living their lives long after he'd left. He knew from an old off-world family contact that all of his siblings had been alive before...
He'd been stupid to think this would help. He tossed the pad down the bed and sent the writing tool after it.
It was all Halling's fault with his stupid Athosian religious superstitions. The dead don't talk. It had just been a hallucination on the precipice of death.
There was no more meaning to it than grief.
The sound of footsteps outside the door behind him were a welcome distraction and Oneakka looked over his shoulder to see Madesh enter through the open door.
"Honoured Elite," Madesh smiled with that little bow he did very time, despite the fact that he'd only been out of the room for barely a quarter of an hour. "I am sorry it took so long, but the necessary healing staff were in a meeting."
"It's fine, Madesh," Oneakka brushed away the unnecessary apology, besides it had given him some time alone. "Did you make the appointment?"
Madesh moved around the foot of the bed, heading up to his abandoned chair. "Yes, Honoured Elite. Apparently Meiyo is on her ward rounds currently, but I have scheduled in for her to visit you once she is free. The Healer I spoke to said it should not be too long." Oneakka watched Madesh's gaze shift away to the far wall where the time was displayed. "Honoured Elite Nalla is not here yet?" The next member of the babysitting rota.
"She's running late from a Military Council briefing," Oneakka restrained his tone. "You can go now."
"I can wait for her, Honoured Elite," Madesh offered with his large worried-looking eyes.
What did they all think was going to happen if he was left alone?
"Go," Oneakka ordered.
The big eyes lowered.
"You have your shift to get to," Oneakka added quickly, annoyed at himself for snapping at Madesh. The man was nothing but loyal. "You need to get back through the Portal to the Sythus."
"Of course, Honoured Elite," Madesh smiled now.
"I'll see you in three days," Oneakka reminded him, which would be the day after the outing to Myrtle's, so Madesh would be able to report back. "Remember to keep your eye on Myrtle."
"I promise, Honoured Elite."
"And report back to me right away if he's inappropriate."
"Yes, Honoured Elite." Madesh had gathered up his jacket and was moving around the end of the bed, heading back towards the door. "Are you sure there is nothing else you need, Honoured Elite?"
"Nothing, Madesh," Oneakka confirmed, working hard not to snap again.
Madesh bobbed his head as he shifted backwards towards the door. "Good Healing, Honoured Elite."
A small alarm echoed out of Oneakka's electronic pad on the side – his reminder to change position on the bed. Madesh paused. "Do you need help to-"
"Get to your shift, Madesh," Oneakka ordered.
"Yes, Honoured Elite," Madesh quickly responded as he rapidly withdrew out of the room.
Alone again, finally.
Working carefully, Oneakka shifted himself over onto his back. His wound wasn't constantly painful as before, but it was still sensitive and any sudden movement wasn't worth the agony, so he moved slowly and carefully. Safely rolled onto his back, he reached for the controls along the right side of the bed-frame and found the necessary button. The head of the bed started to slowly rise, gently lifting his head and shoulders until it was high enough for him to be mostly sat up. Keeping his body as still, he then worked to adjust his pillows until he was as comfortable as possible.
Letting out an annoyingly relieved breath at the successful manoeuvres without triggering any pain, he reached for the paper pad again, lifting it up onto his lap. He considered the lines and circles once more.
Nothing new to see.
No revelations.
No meaning.
He considered what to do instead of staring at useless maps of nightmares. He could watch the actual Skerti briefing as it was available to Elite to watch live, but he knew everything being reported, and Halling would fill him in on anything interesting gained from the group discussions at the end of the day.
He could do some arm exercises, but his arms already ached from this morning's physical therapy. That level of exercise would have been barely a warm-up for him before, but now it easily exhausted him for the day.
He lifted the pad again, turned it, as if looking at the map from another angle would help.
Perhaps he could scan it into his electronic pad, compare it to the Ugun aerial images...
And what would that achieve?
Just more heartache.
His family were gone.
He didn't need stupid hope whispering there was meaning in nothing more than hallucinations and nightmares.
He closed his eyes, feeling the wash of despair threaten to overwhelm his defences.
If only the initial dreams of his family had only continued, maybe that would have been a balm on his soul. Instead, now he only ever dreamed of empty fields and fearful panicked running from place to place, trying to find the training field where he had met his family. But all he found was empty space and abandoned buildings.
And just him, alone.
That surely was the true meaning behind the dreams: a reflection of his daily living nightmare of being the last of his people.
A faint shift of fabric was the only warning that Nalla had entered, as quiet as any Elite could be.
He opened his eyes and looked round to see her settling into the chair on his right-hand side. She'd made it down the corridor and through the door without him hearing her. She'd always been able to do that, move so quietly that not even a Wraith could hear her.
Her pretty purple face lifted as she settled one leg over the other and lifted one eyebrow at him. It was all she needed to do to communicate that she had, of course, sensed his emotions and was asking about them.
He purposefully focused on feelings of resistant rebellion as a loud answer to her.
Both purple-eyebrows lifted at the emotional challenge, and he smiled victoriously.
"If you want to be that way," Nalla stated with a smile of her own, not insulted. "What would you like to discuss instead?"
He subtly moved the paper pad off his lap and onto the mattress to his left, where she couldn't see it. Except, he saw her violet eyes briefing drop to his hands, clearly aware that the pad was a sensitive issue for him. There was little that Nalla missed.
"Why aren't you watching the Skerti briefing broadcast with the others?" He asked.
Her gaze met his directly. "Why don't you say what you really want to say, Oneakka," she suggested.
"Fine," he set aside 'niceties', "I don't need a babysitter."
"Do you not want my company?" She asked with a frown.
"I didn't say that," He argued, surprised at her comment.
"You are frustrated with your injury and recovery," Nalla replied. "We only wish to provide you with support and companionship through these difficult times."
"I don't need to be treated like a child."
"Who has treated you like a child?" Nalla asked with another faint frown.
He opened his mouth to accuse Halling, Massa, and even Seeal, but...had they really? Nalla's arched eyebrow challenged the assumption.
It wasn't like he hadn't sat by Halling and Massa's bedsides before, done the support thing so they weren't alone.
Alone.
The word echoed in his head and chest, tearing once again into the old feelings.
He snapped his attention away from Nalla, his eyes down on the pad of empty squares and pointless obsession with nightmares and loss.
Memories of the hallucination rose up seemingly out of nowhere, of Mother's hand across his hair and Father's warm loving smile, his bright blue eyes shining in the sunlight of home...
Oneakka shut his eyes tightly, cursing the raw rush of grief, especially around Nalla.
Old pains allowed a voice in her presence.
He crushed them down though, forcing his thoughts onto something else. The falling, the pain upon waking up at the bottom of that hole in the Hive, impaled through. A tearing agonising hole through his body.
And forever in his heart.
He pushed out a breath, hating his weakness, and snapped his eyelids open again to stare across the room at reality around him. Not fake memories or unhealable pain.
The rush receded a bit, letting him draw in a breath and finally he risked a glance round at Nalla. She looked away, shifting her attention to the wall behind his bed. He frowned at her pursed lips and her rapid blinking.
He looked away quickly.
He didn't mean for her to have to share in the pain. "It's the medication," he lied.
Vulnerability and the urge to cry tightened his throat at remembering the soft brush of Mother's fingers across his brow.
He closed his eyes again and pulled on old calming techniques, breathing in and out steadily, grabbing control of his wayward emotions.
In and out, just breathing. Focus on intent, strength, control, and the present moment.
Have a focus, a plan. A strategy. If he could get better, get strong again, he could move on with his life and put this behind him. He just needed to get out of this bed, heal up, strengthen his body, and get back to his normal life.
Control slid back into place.
He finally looked back around to Nalla. Her eyes still looked watery, and he could tell she was keeping tight control of her reactions, but she smiled at him.
Kind, compassionate, and empathic Nalla.
He looked away from her, her soft kindness threatening his control.
"I visited the goat young," she said abruptly into the tense silence.
"You did?" He grabbed desperately towards the subject. "They're okay?"
"They are amazingly cheerful little beings," Nalla summarised.
He looked up from unnecessarily rearranging his blankets. "Cheerful?"
Nalla smiled a full and honest grin now. "Very. Full of energy, curiosity, and trust."
"And Bella's okay?" He checked. He hadn't thought of asking Nalla about what she might feel from the goats.
"She is tired, but seems very focused and delighted in caring for her young," Nalla supplied.
"And the little runt," Oneakka asked. "Splodge, as Seeal has called her."
Nalla let out an amused breath. "Because of the ginger patch of colouring on her head?"
Oneakka nodded.
"Yes, Splodge is fine. If anything," she considered, "I would say Splodge is more determined than the other young."
"Well, that makes sense," Oneakka muttered. Of course Seeal would be drawn to the littlest creature with a determined attitude. Or, had the goat perhaps gotten that from Raven somehow? Either way, he trusted Nalla to tell if there was something wrong with the runt, but it sounded like Raven's favourite was okay. The animal specialist's reports had said as much, but he trusted Nalla's insight just as much.
Just like he trusted she would never tell anyone of the emotional incident just now. Having a close friend who was an empath could feel intrusive at times, but her ability was a true gift and there was no one he knew who could keep confidentiality like Nalla. Not for the first time did he wonder how life must be for her, feeling what everyone else felt. He knew that it had caused her pain in the past, but she, too, saw it as a gift.
Nalla smiled at him, no doubt sensing his honest appreciation of her. And the sexual draw of her, that had faded. She would always be a beautiful woman, but...
Meiyo abruptly appeared in the open doorway. "Honoured Elite," the Healer smiled at him as she entered. "I understand you wanted to see me."
Nalla started to get up from her chair to leave, but Oneakka held out a hand towards her. "It's fine. Stay, Nalla."
Nalla settled back in her chair, and Oneakka focused entirely on Meiyo as the older woman reached the side of his bed and leaned her hip against the frame.
"Did you see my physical therapy results today?" He asked.
Meiyo nodded, the faintest pinch around her eyes suggested she knew what he had planned. "I did. You successfully stood and supported your own weight unaided and, with assistance, were able to walk around the bed."
Good, she was up-to-date. "I want to discharge myself to my quarters," he told her. "I can stand by myself and the bathroom in my quarters is closer than the one here. I'll get more sleep and be more comfortable." He had run through his argument earlier, but they'd had this discussion plenty of times in the past so it was hardly new.
Meiyo let out a faint sigh. "Your bed in your quarters won't be as supportive for you," she argued.
"One of those large wedge foam pillows works fine on my bed," he countered. "All my medication is in liquid or tablet form, I'm not on a line anymore."
Meiyo pulled a bemused half smile. "If I say no, you'll just keep arguing the point. Or just walk out as you have done before."
"I was younger then," he pointed out. "I respect your opinion and experience now."
Meiyo sighed.
"He does," Nalla decided to offer as supportive evidence.
"You would need someone to help you walk from your bed to your bathroom every time," Meiyo negotiated.
"Halling or Massa can help me," Oneakka knew they would agree and had done before, as he'd done for them.
"Your physical therapist would still visit you twice a day," Meiyo stated. He nodded. "And I would visit you twice a day as well, and conduct spot checks to make sure that you are resting properly."
"I can't do anything more than sit," he replied.
"He doesn't believe that," Nalla decided to betray him now. He gave her a glare, but she just smiled back.
"That is the problem, Honoured Elite," Meiyo insisted. "Unmonitored, you know you will push yourself too fast and damage yourself."
"That might be true in a week or so, but right now the best I can do is stand up by myself," he pointed out. "You know I recover quicker in my own space, besides I've got my babysitters with me all the damn time."
"Someone will have to be sat with you through the nights as well if you are in your quarters," Meiyo insisted.
"Halling and Massa will help," they'd done that before too.
"You would have to stick to your medication plan in its entirety," Meiyo continued to negotiate.
"I agree I need the medications," he answered carefully.
The Healer narrowed her eyes, but reached for her computer pad hung from her belt. "I will need time to arrange your medications to take with you for today and tomorrow, and I want to ensure your quarters are ready for you first." She tapped instructions into her pad and then considered what was on her screen. "We should be able to move you in a couple of hours."
"Good, thank you," he'd won.
Meiyo tapped on her pad, scheduling in the medical bed transport he was going to need to get to his quarters. "You never change," she sighed as she lowered her pad.
"Thank you, Meiyo," he smiled widely up at her, making sure to show his appreciation and respect.
Meiyo shook her head with that bemused smile again and left.
Excellent, he was going to get out of here finally. Back to his own quarters.
Nalla shifted forward in her seat and he looked round at her. "You purposefully waited for Halling and Seeal to be away to do that," she accused him, somewhat accurately.
"I would still have asked if they were here," he disagreed.
"That was your version of 'asking' was it?"
"I made a logical argument. I met all the same medical criteria as the last time I was discharged to my quarters."
Nalla shook her head as she sat back in her seat.
He glanced round at the side tables, mentally assessing what needed to be packed to take with him.
"She's wrong though," Nalla added, drawing his attention back to her. "You have changed." The joy of impending freedom faded at the insight shining in her violet eyes. "I'm not saying it is good or bad, but something has changed."
He looked away from her. She couldn't know about the hallucination. Halling wouldn't have told anyone.
She was just picking up emotions.
Once he got back to full health and back on with his life, those errant feelings would fade.
They always did.
Because one hallucination didn't change anything.
He was the last of his people and his family were long dead.
And the dead couldn't talk or send you signs.
00000
TBC