Hinata stretched backward with a yawn and then backed down with a comfortable hum. It felt so good to do exercise after so long. She, of course, couldn't do too much, but she had finally been cleared for minor exercise but no training. She stripped the layers, tucked her toes into the grass, and stretched happily in the morning dew.
Sasuke was happily on the porch with his steaming cup and a heavy blanket over his shoulders.
She smiled back at him. "You sure you don't want to join me?"
"I'm enjoying the view." He tipped his cup at her. She turned red and tugged the ends of her shirt back over her midriff.
Sasuke had caught sight of a Hyuga seal on a scroll in her bag one night after a mission. He didn't say anything about it, and what was worse was neither did she. He kept silent until he noticed another a week later. He wasn't sure how to confront her about it. On the one hand, he was worried they were manipulating her in some way. On the other hand, he was annoyed she kept it from though he couldn't find the anger he thought he should have with her not telling him.
When he noticed a third, he decided to just to pluck it out and hold it up. "Should I be concerned about why you are getting scrolls from the clan?"
Hinata shook her head. "They're from my sister." She explained. "She's been asking me to do some research for her into the Hyuga seals. I haven't agreed yet, but she has been sending me what she knows and what she would want to know whenever she can in secret. I didn't think it would interest you."
Sasuke felt a wave of relief, and he rubbed his temple.
"Did I worry you?" She asked, crossing the room, wrapping her arm around his ribs.
"I want to keep you from them." He told her, dropping the scroll back into the bag to incase her.
"I would only be involved in reading in on seals. She wants to know if there could be a better replacement for the current seal without alerting the council. If she can collect information and come up with the 'better' alternative without their knowledge, it will be harder to counter." Hinata explained, laying her face on his collarbone. "I think she is an optimist, but I do like the idea of not allowing the head branch to destroy the brains of the branch. It makes them feel more like slaves than family."
"Why are clans so screwed up? Mine wanted to overthrow the village, part of yours wants an army of slaves, what are the Inuzuka's doing? Plotting for dogs to be the rulers of the village." He wondered snidely.
Hinata giggled. "I don't think so, though. Without the Uchiha clan, the Hyuga clan has run unchecked even when doing something they shouldn't. Knowing that only other clans could rival them and the Hokage has his hands tied, they can do far more than they should be allowed."
"Can we do that? We can make anything we ever do a 'clan matter' and get away with anything." He stepped back, tugging her with him to collapse on the couch.
"What would we call a clan matter?" Hinata giggled, sitting up on his lap.
"Next time someone asks you about children, claim it is a clan matter." Sasuke grinned. "We are a clan of two who cares."
Hinata laughed. "I'm not sure you can do that."
"Why not? I'm the clan head. Who's going to say I can't?" Sasuke slid his hands down her sides, tickling her. "You?"
Hinata squeaked, snatching his hand away. "No!"
Sasuke watched her walk around the kitchen with flour on her forehead for an hour. Not wanting to ruin his fun, she would look at him with confusion, and he just waved and told her not to worry about it. Sadly, his game ended when she caught her reflection in an appliance that she kept the mirror clean. She pouted at him and cleaned it off and now wasn't talking to him.
"You're cute." Sasuke chuckled, laying his chin on his folded arms.
Hinata scowled at him with a further pout. "Did you do this to me before?"
"Not tell you when you had something on your face, yeah. You caught on pretty quick, though, so I had to be sneakier about watching." He tilted his head, laying it sideways. "Why do you ask?"
Hinata covered her rising dough, making sure to wipe her hand before un-tying her hair. "I just wonder what is new and what isn't."
"You think I treat you differently now?" He wondered, perking up cocking his eyebrow. That was a red flag.
"Well, everyone else does." She set her hand on the table and looked down at the dust of flour, and swiped her hand over it to keep from looking at him. "Like I'm fragile or like I am a child that just won't understand. At first, I thought it was just because I was injured, but it didn't go away with the chair. People are still treating me like I can't handle what is going on."
Sasuke sighed and watched her play with the flour, trying to word what he wanted to say. He stood up, rounding the table, making his trail in the flour until he caught her hand, and she looked up. "I've hidden nothing from you, told you all of the story, not sugar-coated anything. I have treated you as you are, my wife, for everything but one thing." He told her honestly.
Hinata stared up at him, and heat came to her face, hotter and hotter until she felt light-headed. With the searing look in his eyes, the lazy leaning yet deliberate stance, he was telling her what the thing was.
Hinata felt a shiver the whole way up her back, and she was sure he felt it even though he was still a few inches from her body.
They were everything they were before now, right?
They were close, closer than she, as her memory served now, had ever been to another person, a man especially. She was unafraid to snuggle up against him, let him hold her, kiss her even. She had regularly shared baths with him. Nudity was not an issue.
They had broken every barrier she had had before she had met him. So why was she scared right now?
Hinata was aware that her body responded to his clearly as a yes, but her heart was slamming against her chest for a different reason.
Hinata wanted to kiss him, but she also wanted to run.
Hinata tried to place her fear and sudden panic. It wasn't because of him. She knew he would never hurt her. Was it his experience? No, but it might be her lack.
Or rather, her lack where he remembered her having experience.
She was scared because he could be disappointed with her.
Having found it, she felt she couldn't look at him anymore and bolted her eyes down to their hands, trying not to panic more than she could handle. She felt tears. Why couldn't she just remember? So many problems for him would be solved if she could just remember.
"I don't need it. I just want you safe and comfortable." He voiced, laying a kiss on her hair and pulling her to him by her waist.
Hinata buried her face hard and curled around him tightly, letting out the frustration. "Why can't I just remember!" She squeaked. "It's not fair." She sounded childish, but it was all she could think of. It wasn't fair to him. He had enough problems in his life than to have to deal with and take care of a wife that should be able to take care of herself.
"It never is." He sighed. "Though this reminds me." He gave her head another peck and released her. She wiped her eyes as he headed over to his bag, pulling something out. "I was given this by Sakura on the way out of your appointment. I forgot about it." He held out the box to her that she instantly recognized, and she felt sick. She made no move to take it. "I know your cycles are heavy and painful, while you couldn't be on them while you had the rest of the medication, but it should be fine now."
"I'm not taking them." She managed.
Sasuke looked up from the box. Hinata was now rigid and shaking, the tears had returned to her eyes, and she looked like she might throw up. He had no idea what was happening. He dropped the box on the table and put his hand on her shoulders. "What?"
"I don't need them." Her face curled to glared at the box.
"Hinata, I don't understand." She was scaring him. She hadn't ever so clearly rejected something so physically.
"I don't need birth control because I'm not worried about becoming pregnant." She demanded, looking up at him fiercely, yet she was still looking afraid like a bunny growling at him. He couldn't find it cute right now.
"But..." They weren't even having sexual relations. He didn't understand her conviction. He sighed. "Alright, it's your choice." He picked the box back up and held it undecidedly.
Hinata shrank, curling her arms around her stomach. He debated throwing it in the trash to make her feel better, but he decided against it and slipped in the drawer they kept general medication.
She looked so fragile, and he wasn't sure what to do. He slid his arm around her shoulder, and she buried her face. "You want to tell me what made you this upset?"
Hinata whimpered, giving no immediate answer.
"You don't have to do this to make me feel better." He said into her hair.
She buried her face deeper, making her hard to hear. "I want children."
"I understand that, but..." He sighed, releasing her and kneeling to her chair to make her look at him. "Hinata, I don't think I need to explain to you why right now that is not happening."
"I don't want it!" She squeaked harshly at him.
He sighed, rubbing his thumbs where they sat on her thighs. "Alright, but don't do this because we lost a baby that you didn't even remember wanting. It's not something we could have helped with or without your memories. Do it because you want children with me." When her eyes didn't connect with his, he shook her leg to take her attention. She shifted miserably to him and nodded. He stood, lifting her into a hug. "I don't need kids if you are not comfortable making them."
"I never said that." She said into his shoulder.
"What?" He asked, turning. Her face got redder as she made more of an effort to hide it in his sweater.