gemsofformenos: "Gosh you keep pulling my heartstrings with your stories." All the feels! "Finally Azula dares to try an healthy approach to Ty Lee. [...] Azula is willing to make the first step this time. She has mustered all her courage and strength to swallow her pride and to become the one to apologize and fix the damage." The irony is that this ends up hurting her more because she was kind of proud of herself for getting ready to try to do the right thing and then it just didn't work out so it was a double whammy. "But you only show her a new devastating truth. Azula has pushed away Ty Lee to often and too harsh." She realized that she has crossed a few too many lines and that TyLee sought solace and love in the arms of another and this is very painful for Azula. "It explains Mai's anger when it comes to Azula." Pretty much. "Such a hard punch for Azula which crushes all the hope which has carefully started to bloom and still Ty Lee cannot be blamed for it." It was definitely a mental punch for her to have her hope so abruptly taken. But TyLee is trying to move on because she feels as though Azula isn't healthy for her. "Ty Lee has finally decided to change the terms to take care of her own health and to seek for a new relationship and to change the connection to Azula into a friendship." Like you said, she has a right to do what is best for herself. And at the moment, she doesn't see Azula as the right thing. She cares about her very much but she also realizes that Azula needs to get to a better place before she can be with her. If she can.

alesana4ever: xP Be careful what you wish for? Yup, that chapter was supposed to hit like a slap in the face. This new one is gonna be intense too.

Zuko shudders as another scream tears it's way down the hall. It isn't truly there but he hears it all the same. Hears it as he had heard it on the day Sozin's comet had come to pass. And he knows that he would be hearing it now...that he should be hearing it now. Instead, her face contorts with it, her face is red from it, and her chest constricts with it. But it is silent. No matter how far she opens her mouth, no matter how much force she puts into it, she shrieks in silence. But he knows that face. And he knows the sound. And he fills it in even now that he has retreated from her room.

He rubs his hands over his face.

TyLee clings to Mai with more force.

Any time Azula does anything, TyLee clings to Mai with more force.

.oOo.

Azula lets her body drop, her knees hit the floor hard and she slumps forward. She grips her stomach, she feels sick. TyLee has...She is making herself sick. She squeezes her eyes shut. Her hair tumbles into her face, strands sticking to the wet trails on her cheeks. She can only give a series of forceful breaths.

Her room is in shambles.

She is in shambles.

Her room is in shambles because she is in shambles. Shards of her mirror sparkle in jagged, biting puzzle pieces on the floor. The mirror's golden frame still clings to some of the glass, what remains of its surface reflects her demise back at her. Amid the dusting of glass is a cloud of fallen feathers from the cushions and pillows that she has shredded. There is a burning scent permeating the air, her bedsheets and blankets lay blacked around the edges. There are other smaller trinkets strewn about the wreckage, a shattered vase, a few perfume bottles leaking onto and staining the carpet, the jewelry and makeup tubes she had swept off of the dresser…

Even still, Azula is the most broken thing in the room.

She clutches her head, digging her nails into her scalp. It doesn't make sense. It just doesn't. Tylee had never said that it was over. She never said that there wasn't still a chance. She never said that she has given up on her. But she has. Everyone has.

She gives another silent shriek and pounds her hands on the floor and then beats them against her head. This is how they will find her.

She doesn't understand how TyLee could do this to her. She doesn't understand. She doesn't...

But then she does. She does understand. TyLee has done this carefully. Cunningly. Masterfully to a respectable degree. She had strung her along, made her think that she could fix things, that she could learn to care for someone and that someone could care for her.

Azula hadn't thought TyLee had it in her, but Agni, is the girl clever. Sneaky. Her vengeance is so well crafted.

For a moment it sobers her. For a moment she is still, contemplating and commending the other woman for her poisonous wit.

She presses her face to the carpet and nuzzles against it. The carpet is warmer than anyone else has been to her. She strokes it with her fingers.

She lays rigid and numb for the longest time, mind blank, eyes dull. And then the thoughts come creeping back in and she wishes furiously that they wouldn't, she finds that she no longer likes thinking. That if she could she would never do it again.

She wonders if TyLee had ever cared at all, if anything had ever been real or if it was all done just to appease her, to avoid whatever she thought that Azula would do to her. Azula wonders if she truly would have done something. She thinks that she might have. She knows that she would have. It doesn't register that she is more furious than she has been in a while and she hasn't thought once of hurting TyLee.

She doesn't not until images replay in her mind. Mai curling her fingers in TyLee's hair. TyLee so passionately kissing her back. She doesn't think that TyLee has ever kissed her like that. She folds in on herself, gripping her head all over again. She thinks of giving TyLee a real reason to fear and resent her. Thinks of slapping a palm full of fire against her cheek just the way she'd seen father ruin Zuko's eye. Maybe Mai wouldn't love her so much then; maybe she would have to be with Azula if no one else would take her, having an unsightly scar to mar her face. But she has her personality and that would still draw people in. Mai would dote over her. At the very least TyLee would know that she'd done wrong.

Azula is making herself queasy. Perhaps she ought to burn herself away, it isn't as though she could repel people anymore than she already does.

She tries to will herself to go passive again.

She can't seem to do it and she finds herself hoping that Zuko had called for the guards and that they will come marching in with the sedatives. Those always slow her mind. She thinks that she might need a more potent dose tonight.

She strokes at the carpet again, but this time her fingers find a few shards of glass, they prick her index and middle finger and wedge under the nails. More tears spring to her eyes, but maybe she deserves it. The sharp bite of the glass and the angry tingles that they leave.

There is so much glass.

It is all around her.

She isn't sure what is shattered more irreparably, the glass, her relationship, or she herself. She doesn't know which pieces go where. She thinks that she shouldn't have made her way out of the jungle. That it is better for her to live alone and in perfect silence. Alone and where silence is the only option even if her voice should return to her.

Azula gets to her feet, her body feels so heavy she practically lets it hunch and sag as she takes a few wobbly steps. She is dizzy with stress and exhaustion. She nearly topples, only catching herself in the doorway. Agni, how is she going to make it back to the jungle if she can't even make it out of her room. She slips back to the floor, hand sliding along the frame, leaving small smears of blood.

She should clean that.

She should try to stop the bleeding, even if the wound is more or less superficial.

She leans her head against the wall and closes her eyes. She will leave as soon as she finds the strength and resolve. As soon as her legs stop shaking and the dizziness passes. It is going to be an agonizing wait.

She feels arms come around her and the queasiness doubles. She won't be able to escape if they lock her away. She brings fire to her palms and then lets it die once more; the arms are gentle and she doesn't feel the prick of the needle. Zuko lifts her into his arms and holds her face against his chest.

.oOo.

Zuko casts a glance over his shoulder, TyLee clings to Mai's arm. Mai rakes her free hand through her hairline and holds it there. He hasn't seen his sister in such a state in a long time. Her hair is in disarray, her eyes are somehow dim and furious all at once. Tear stains run with makeup down her cheeks. Her body tremors. It is a horrifying sight but more deeply disturbing is how she doesn't make a sound. She can't. Her agony is completely quiet. He thinks that it always has been even when she could cry out. But this time is different, he has an uneasy feeling that whatever had happened some nights ago, won't be healing in full.

He feels her shaking against him. Her breathing is still so rough and erratic he wonders if it is smart to be so near her. He thinks that it would be better to have her sedated and transferred back to the institution. But her fists close around the fabric of his robes and she seems to lean more heavily into him and he finds that he can't do it.

He inhales deeply and rubs small circles on her back.

He thinks that it could quite possibly be a dreadful feeling to dump her off back there, that he should probably look after her himself. He stares at the fists that clutch his shirt and he notices the blood. He grimaces and carefully takes that hand. "What happened?" He asks without thinking. He can't imagine that she is in any state to find a creative way to reply. He pictures her spelling it out in blood and shudders again. In reality, she makes no move to reply at all. "Let's get this fixed up."

She doesn't protest or fight it when he rises with her. She has gone limp. He can't say that he is surprised. This isn't the first time that she has shouted and cried to the point of blacking out. It is probably a mercy for her. At least she won't feel it when they pluck the shards, cleans, and dress the wound.

"Is she going to be okay?" TyLee inquires softly. He hopes that she doesn't blame herself, he can already sense her doing so.

"I don't know." He replies. "I hope so." Absently, he holds her closer, if only to feel her breath on his neck.