After several chapters of trying to decide which direction/ending I think would be more satisfying, I still haven't decided. So I'm going to try something super new! I'm going to have two versions of this story. I bring this up now because this is the chapter where there is a crossroads in a sense. So the next few chapters will be version one and then after I'm through with this story line I will come back to this chapter and take it in the second direction. These chapters will be marked (V2) meaning 'version 2.' I hope that this makes sense lol.

The sun had begun to filter through the windows hours ago, spilling a pleasant and cheek-warming wash of gold over the upturned side of her face. But she remains in bed, head sunken into pillows that are so invitingly plush.

She supposes that she has earned, or at the very least, could use a day spent in bed. Or mostly spent in bed. There can't be much harm in it, she and Zuko had come to Ember Island to relax. She has simply decided to take advantage of this rather late. She rolls onto her back and exhales. Her ankles are still throbbing lightly.

She stretches her arms and tries to prepare herself to fully wake up and rise out of bed. She could use breakfast, though at this point, it is lunchtime. She lingers for a moment in the hallway in front of the kitchen. Seicho is already awake, she probably has been for some time now.

"You don't have to cook for me, you already did so much…" she hears Zuko mutter.

Seicho shrugs. "I like cooking, it's a hobby." She clearly has a lot of those, hiking, fishing, botany...it seems as though she has a new hobby for every day and she had spent a good portion of their trip going on and on about said hobbies.

"Are you sure?"

"Completely." Seicho flashes him a grin. "But if you'd like I can show you how to perfectly cook and season a lobster!" She inhales deeply. "It already smells wonderful. The trip was fun but it's nice to have a full kitchen of cooking supplies!"

Azula supposes that it does smell nice, especially when she adds a touch of rosemary and a sprinkle of parsley. The woman catches her eye. "You're finally awake!"

'More or less.' Azula spells out. She rubs at her eyes

"Are you feeling any better?" Zuko asks.

She holds up her hands and gestures, 'a little'.

"Good. Believe it or not, I was worried." He pauses, "I'm still worried."

She wonders if Seicho has told him yet of how furiously she tried to hike up that volcano. Agni, she hopes that the woman hasn't shared anything while she was asleep. She'd much rather tell him herself, if at all. 'Why?'

"You weren't doing too good when you left and you came back covered in cuts and...swollen ankles."

She shrugs, 'I'm fine.'

She can tell that Seicho is itching to speak up. She finds herself flooded with relief. Seicho holds her tongue. She wonders how long the girl with keep holding her tongue.

'Really. I'm fine.' And she thinks that she is telling the truth. She doesn't feel particularly good nor hopeful. But she doesn't feel naggingly miserable either.

.oOo.

TyLee bunches her fists and takes a deep breath. She isn't yet ready, but she is as ready as she can and will be. Regardless of her hesitations, she needs to do this. She needs to if she ever wants to bring her journey one step closer to full closure.

She finds Mai outside of her aunt Mura's flower shop, pruning leaves and ruffled petals. Zuko hadn't expelled her from the palace, as far as TyLee knows but TyLee also can't imagine that Mai would feel particularly welcomed there.

She takes another, much deeper breath. Agni, her hands are shaking. She isn't sure how in the name of the spirits she is going to confront Azula. She thinks of Tuya and of the rest of her expedition mates. She thinks of the words 'clever' and 'innovative'. She isn't just 'sweet' and 'cute' anymore.

She isn't just some bubbly, naive child.

Well perhaps she is still bubbly and chipper but she is smart. She is strong and resilient. She can hold her own.

She will hold her own.

"Hello, Mai."

Mai looks up from her flowers as nonchalant and unexpressive as she always has been. Maybe she could use a venture away from the Fire Nation too. Maybe everyone can use a vacation from the Fire Nation. "How was your trip to…"

"The poles." TyLee finishes. "It was amazing. Mai you should have seen it, it was glittery and enticing and it was like the Spirit World covered our world in stars…" she is rambling again. That stupid perky rambling. "And I learned a lot about myself."

Mai quirks a brow. "Good things?"

TyLee nods. "Yes. A lot of good things." She pauses. "And I thought about a lot too."

"Like what?"

"Like about how I let everyone take advantage of me. Not just Azula but Zuko did it, you did it, and even Suki did it sometimes."

Mai opens her mouth to interrupt but she won't stand for interjection, not this time. "I don't even think that you guys meant to do it. Azula, sure. But not Zuko and Suki. Sometimes I think that it just happened naturally. Because I let it happen. Because I couldn't say no."

"You didn't mention me…"

"Because I'm not sure about you, Mai." She confesses. "I've thought about it over and over again and I still can't tell if you actually cared about me-if you actually loved me or if you were just trying to spite Azula and Zuko." She wonders if Mai is even sure herself. Quite possibly she thinks that Mai had been killing two iguana-parrots with one stone.

"What if I told you that it was a mix of both?"

TyLee is quiet for perhaps longer than she has ever held a silence. The question has so much weight, so many nuances to consider. "Then I would say that it still isn't okay. I don't want to be part of some scheme. I didn't distance myself from Azula to become your pawn instead."

"You weren't just a pawn…" Mai trails off.

"I was a pawn with perks."

Mai shakes her head, "I loved you. For real."

"So did Azula." TyLee points out. "But I was still a pawn. I was still being used. Don't you think it's a little strange that you were getting trying to get back at Azula by doing the exact same things she did?"

"Why are you defending her?"

And there it is; the trap that they always set for her. She almost didn't catch it. "I'm not. Actually…" it dawns upon her, "I think it's the opposite. I'm telling you that what she did, how she use me, was wrong. And I'm saying that it doesn't become less wrong when you do it." She bites her lip, weary of what she is about to say. She thinks that she may have already scratched at the surface of this nagging itch in her head. "If anything it's worse when you do it."

For the first time in a while, Mai looks genuinely angry. Her brows crinkle and her mouth curves down ever so slightly. "How so?"

"Because you think that you're doing it for the greater good. And you pretended like you weren't doing it. At least Azula was trying to stop and even if she wasn't, at least she was up front about it…" The problem with Azula, she realizes, is habit. Habit and constant apologies with no great efforts to make a change.

"What do you want from me, TyLee?"

"I want you to admit it. I want you to acknowledge that you were using me." She wants clear cut confirmation that she isn't seeing things that aren't there. That she isn't making an issue of nothing at all. She needs to know. "I need you to see that it...it really messed with me, Mai. To have so many people-to have the people I loved the most use me over and over again." She attempts to blink away a few tears.

Mai's expression softens and she rubs her hands over her face. "I did it okay. I loved you but I used you. I was mad at Zuko. Azula is the worst person I've ever met. And You're one of the best. It was perfect; they'd both get hurt and I'd...we'd be happy."

TyLee shakes her head. "You'd be happy. I want to be loved, Mai. I want to be loved completely with no ulterior motives." And it comes to her that she can be.

"So what are you going to do, TyLee? Cut us all out."

She doesn't want to. She'd love to keep talking to Mai and Zuko, and even Azula, if only in moderation. "If I have to. Don't make me have to."

.oOo.

"No, no, like this!" Seicho takes her by the wrist and guides her hand.

'Is there really an exact method of sprinkling salt on sizzle-crisps?' Azula asks.

"There's a particular way of arranging the dish too once the salt and spices are added. Personally I like to arrange my fruit slices and salad leaves to make pretty pictures…"

'You like to play with your food.'

"It's an art, princess! Culinary art. An undervalued art, if you ask me!" She pauses. "If you want, you can put the parchment aside and spell words out with fruit slices or sprinkle tyme to make letters."

'No thanks.' She writes as Zuko grumbles, "and dirty our counters? We don't have servants here so I'll be the one cleaing the mess."

"Azula can help!"

'Azula won't help.' Cleaning is beneath her. Getting her hands dirty to knead dough and toss flour was a task better suited for serving personnel. She still isn't sure why she has rolled out and flattened so many circles of dough. She gestures to them, 'what for?'

"We're going to wrap the sizzle-crisps in them, of course." Seicho smiles.

Azula blinks.

"What kind of abomination are you having us make?" Zuko throws his hands up, kicking up a cloud of flour.

'An affront to taste buds all over the Fire Nation. We ought to have you banished.'

"Don't banish me until after you try it." Seicho declares.

Azula picks up one of the sizzle-crisps and wraps it up in a blanket of dough. She supposes enduring the woman's terrible cuisine creative process is the least that she can do.

.oOo.

Azula has grown unresponsive again. Seicho doesn't think that her cooking innovations were that horrid. In fact Zuko quite openly enjoyed her wrapped sizzle-crisps and she could swear that Azula was only pretending not to.

"What's wrong?" She finally asks.

'Just thinking…'

With Azula this can mean anything really. Usually it isn't anything good. Usually when Azula thinks, she thinks too much and she ends up crying either openly or privately. "About what?"

'My voice.' She hovers the brush over the parchment as if to add something more. She eventually retracts it.

"What about it?"

'I want it back.'

Seicho nods. She could imagine. Reflexively she touches her fingers to the woman's lips. Azula curls her fingers around her wrist. She expects to be swatted away but the princess simply holds her hand in place.

She shifts and turns back to her parchment. 'Do you want to help me find the spirit and get it back?' She quickly scrawls, 'truthfully this time. I actually want to look.'

"Yeah, we can do that and maybe this time our brothers can tag along. I really want you to meet Zhang-Zin."

Azula nods, 'I suppose.'

Seicho grins. How exciting it will be to go on a real adventure with her. One with a genuine goal. One where they can truly get to know each other. "Great! I was thinking that we can take a little break first. Maybe go to the beach or a party and then we can start planning our next trip."

'The beach sounds…pleasant enough.'

She springs off of the bed. "Tomorrow, we can go shell hunting tomorrow and I can show you this tidal pool with these spiny urchins." Her head is abuzz with idea after idea. Bits and snippets of things that might make Azula feel lively again.

And this time she is optimistic that it might just work.