There were a few bear drafts. Sasuke lovingly referred to them as 'franken-bears.' It didn't stop her from making a few more before her technique improved. They had to make another trip back to the fabric store as she not only managed to bend her needle, but she had run out of fabric.
Her thumb was covered in a bandage where she forced the needle through a few too many times before they also went back to get a thimble. "Well, this one at least looks less like it's from a nightmare I had when I was 5." Sasuke joked as she held up the finally proportional ears up to its head where they would be attached.
She was proud of herself. It finally looked like a teddy bear.
"Time for a break." He decided, getting up abruptly and picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder, making her drop her pieces.
She squeaked. "What are you doing!?" She giggled as he headed back the hall and tossed her on the bed.
"Watching you do something so boring is tiring. I want a nap." He declared, flopping down on top of her. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his head as it landed on her stomach.
"I think you wanted attention." She murmured at him. She ran her fingers back over his scalp, through his hair. "You need a haircut." She added.
He only offered her a grunt. She smiled. At least he was feeling better. At least, she hoped that was the case. She felt a nagging pull at the back of her heart that this was another reaction to his feeling she wasn't real. Instead of showing her directly, he decided curling up would make him feel better. She hoped that wasn't the case.
She wondered what made him think he was imagining it? Did he think he would imagine her doing mundane things such as sewing a bear? Did he know her determination and poor sewing skills well enough he would imagine her poorly making bears a few times before finally coming up with something mediocre?
She sighed, closing her eyes.
She didn't know what she could do but put his worries to rest.
Hinata held out the bear, ready for her sister's criticism.
"Its ears are crooked," Was her first comment. She tilted her head at it, looking at its other flaws. It had a few. It was handmade, and Hinata wasn't good at hiding her stitching, though she had done her best to match her tread to her fabric, so it wasn't as easy to see the external stitching and unevenness they came out to be. One of the arms was just a little longer than the other, one of the legs was a little fatter than the other, and it was a fat bear. She may have overstuffed him. Its nose was a little too high, and Hinata tried to hide some of his poor stitching in a little doll sweater she had found at the craft store. "That's the cutest thing I have ever seen." She added.
She took the bear and examined it further. "You never could sew." Hanabi laughed at her sister's pout.
"Just take the damn thing, or she'll spend the next week making another." Sasuke pushed. "I'm sick of finding scraps of fabric everywhere."
Hinata frowned at him but knew he was only joking.
"Father will hate it." Hanabi grinned happily, holding it up to her infant. "Isn't it perfect?" She asked the baby. "All father got was some sterile-looking toys that make no noise. He won't even look at them."
"What does he like?" Hinata asked.
"Soft things and everything that makes noise. We are getting a little concerned because he might be having trouble seeing things. He jumps easily when something touches him that should be close enough for him to see. I'm hoping it's something to do with his depth perception, and it will improve." She frowned.
"Do Hyuga usually have eyesight problems? I don't think I have ever seen a Hyuga in glasses." Sasuke asked.
Hinata shook her head. "Very rare, Hyuga has always had good eye health thanks to the Byakugan, and like the Uchiha, the only real way to cause damage is from overuse."
"Which is why we are concerned," Hanabi added. "But he is still young, he might just be jumpy, and babies tend to not have very good depth perception as it is."
Hinata nodded, but there was something in her sister's face that told her that she was far more worried than she was letting on. At the end of the day, they could only hope for the best.
Hinata fell back on the couch and pulled Sasuke with her. The curtains were closed this time. She made sure of it.
He seemed amused she was being so bold as to be the sexual initiation, but he had been doing it so she would have to.
A short time later, with them both in need of a bath, she caught him looking guilty again.
"Sasuke," Hinata whispered.
He rubbed his face. "Yeah?"
Hinata paused. "Come take a bath with me." She told him, taking his wrist, pulling him toward it.
He followed her and waited for her to run the bath. They washed quietly, and he seemed to intended to sit in the bath in silence as well.
"You're worried about me being pregnant." She concluded.
He set his jaw. "Hinata, I'm worried about a lot more than just that."
"Why?" She asked, wrapping her knees around her legs.
Hinata prepared for the worst. Maybe he admitted that he didn't want them, or not with her, or worse yet, not with her anymore. Maybe this was the time when he realized she wasn't the woman that he had married, it wasn't that she didn't feel his love, but she couldn't help but feel it wasn't hers. It had been a while since he had told more story. He would mention things she used to do, but did he stop because the rest of the story was only made up of little memories of no importance, or was he sick of remembering the life he had?
Hinata was ready to hear it. She was ready to be crushed. Now that she was completely in love with him, the man she didn't remember meeting.
"I don't deserve you, Hinata. I never have," Sasuke mumbled.
She gave him a look of heartbreak.
"I've tried to reason that maybe this was the world's way of making up for my shit life up until meeting you, but you know I don't believe that shit." He sighed, ruffling his wet hair. "The truth is that I'm selfish. My entire life has been driven by being selfish, wanting what I wanted, and that extends to you. I wanted you to stay when you came home from the hospital. I wanted to tell you the stories of our relationship in hopes that you would feel the same as you did them. I wanted you to want to be intimate with me. I wanted you to want children."
"I don't understand what you're saying." She told him.
"I worried that you would stay not because you want to be here but because you know I want you here." He admitted looking up at her.
"Is that wrong?" She asked. "Sasuke, all I have ever wanted in life was to be wanted. I was never wanted by my father, not by my sister, not by my long-held crush. I was never good enough. To wake up and be wanted is the best thing that could have happened to me. I have never felt like you didn't love me, but sometimes I'm afraid you're going to take it away when you act like this." She admitted. "You're doing nothing wrong. You're doing everything right to the point I worry that I don't live up to what you thought I was before."
"Your everything you were before." He was tired.
"No, Sasuke, I'm not. I'll never remember. I'll always have a piece missing." She countered.
"But you're still you." He mumbled.
She considered it. "Then why can't you accept I still want children?"
His face scrunched.
"I want to have our children." She pressed. "I'm selfish too."
He gaped at her.
"I wanted to know who I married. Isn't that selfish to let you take care of me?" She asked, honestly.
He gaped at her. "That's not the same thing."
"Yes, it is." She countered. "When I woke up and found out that someone was waiting for me, I can't tell you how much that meant to me. To know that there was someone who loved me, not just out of duty or servitude. My father made his love so conditional when I was young. I used to think that even my team would turn on me. It was just a matter of time before I disappointed them enough."
He stared at her blankly. "You've never told me that before."
"I was always told my worth was conditional. Once you are told that so many times, you start to truly believe that how others see you will be conditional on your performance, and any day could be the day that you disappoint the people you love enough for them to never see you the same again." She felt it hard to breathe. She was blurting the feelings out as they came to mind.
"I..." He paused, looking unsure. "That's how I felt when I found out you for sure had lost all memory. I've been afraid I'm going to wake up, and you'll have left because you decided that you didn't want me anymore." She knew that he was nervous any time he woke up that she might not be there, but at least some of the time, it wasn't because she was gone, but what was a better way of leaving someone. Was it worse to know someone that loved you doesn't anymore, or to lose that person doing something like serving their village, something that they cared about?
"I think neither of us are going anywhere." She finalized. "So when I say I want children with you, it is because I want to, not because I know I did want to, but because I want to know."
He huffed a sigh.
"I understand." He admitted. "Maybe I haven't quite gotten over the fear of almost having lost you."
"I'm sure Sakura-chan's visit did not help." She added.
"No, I can't say it did." He nodded.
"Bath?" She asked sweetly.
He quirked an eyebrow at her.