A/N: Thank you all for the lovely reviews. I am still a bit shocked that people want to read a story about Rusty, so it's really amazing to receive all the positive and constructive feedback.
I would like to thank the amazing blossom-of-snow (aka bloom-and-grow-forever on FFN) who beta-read this story. Plus, if you haven't done it yet, you should check out her stories because she's an awesome writer and you'll just love her fics.
Even in the warm light of the small Italian restaurant where they ate, the girl looked pale and faint. Her hands gripped the red folder tightly, and her blue irises ran across the page she was reading. After a long moment, she looked at Sharon, a desperate and haunted expression on her face. Sharon bit her bottom lip nervously, waiting for the girl to speak, but it seemed that the words didn't come to Rainie.
"Did you understand what that document said?" she asked softly.
"That you found some of my family, on my father's side," Rainie replied. Sharon gave her a single nod.
"Yes, we found your uncle, who's currently in jail and his older brother is your father. His name is Daniel Dunn," Sharon explained. Rainie looked down at the paper and then at Sharon and shook her head.
"It can't be. My father died in Bosnia," Rainie said. "This is a mistake."
"Is that what your mother told you about him?" Sharon inquired.
"Yeah, she said that my dad fought in Bosnia and died there. She said he was a hero and he got medals after he died for his bravery," Rainie elaborated.
"Did she ever tell you his name?" Sharon asked.
"Robert Smith. She told me everyone called him Rob and that I have his eyes," Rainie said.
"Where did they meet?" Sharon asked. If Rainie possibly had another father, she may need to look for the girl's family elsewhere, or at least use them to discredit the District Attorney's DNA results.
"She said they went to school together. He was her boyfriend, and when she got pregnant, and her parents kicked her out, he said he'll marry her. He enlisted because he thought an army salary would be helpful, and my mom would be able to stay at home with me and not go to work. And then, he was deployed to Bosnia, and he died there a month before I was born."
"Did your mother ever take you to visit his grave? Or mentioned his family?" Sharon wondered.
"No, she said going to his grave is too painful, and that his family moved away and she didn't know how to find them," Rainie said.
Although some parts of the story made sense, Sharon thought it sounded a bit too convenient to be true. "How about pictures? Have you ever seen any pictures of him?"
"No. Why are you asking so many questions about him?" Anger flashed in the girl's eyes. "You don't believe me, do you?"
"Rainie, your mother's story, while not impossible, doesn't make much sense. Think about it; you've never seen a picture of your dad, never visited his grave, and never met his family or had any contact with them. Can you see why I have an issue with this story?" Sharon asked.
"You think my mother lied to me about my father?" The devastated expression on Rainie's face made Sharon's heart miss a beat. Regrettably, Sharon had a first-hand experience of this type of betrayal and an understanding of how painful it was. "Why would she do that?"
"Maybe she didn't know who your father was?" she suggested. "Or maybe she knew who he was, but didn't want you to get disappointed that he didn't want to be a part of your life."
"So, if she lied and this guy is my real father," Rainie pointed at the red file. "What does this mean?"
"That depends on you. If you want, we can try contacting him and see if he wants to meet you," Sharon explained.
"Would I have to go and live with him?"
"It's possible," Sharon replied.
"And if I don't want to contact him?" Rainie's voice shook as the truth started sinking in.
"Then nothing changes. You stay with me," Sharon answered.
"I don't know what I want to do about this." Rainie stared at the file for a long moment before she was able to meet Sharon's eyes.
"You don't have to decide right now. You can take as much time as you need to think about it," Sharon spoke softly. Rainie nodded.
It was much later in the evening after they've returned home and Rainie went to bed that Sharon realized that sleep would not come to her easily that night. The case she solved earlier in the day weighed on her mind, even though she knew there was nothing she could have done to save Ben Barlow's life. And the news of Rainie's father also worried her. She knew that if the girl had any living relatives who could function as a stable family, the best thing for her was to help them reunite. The thought of bringing a family together shouldn't have unsettled Sharon the way it did. She liked the girl, and it seemed like they were getting along well. Rainie was doing well at school, and even though she still hadn't made any friends, she seemed happy at St. Joseph. They still had disagreements, but that was inevitable, and for the most part, they settled into a calm routine that seemed to work for the both of them. She stood on the balcony and pondered her day when she heard the sound of the glass door being slid open.
"I couldn't sleep either," Rainie said as she came to stand by Sharon's side. "Too many thoughts." She handed Sharon a cup of her favorite tea.
"Anything you want to discuss?" Sharon asked.
"I just hate when people lie to me," Rainie replied. "I keep replaying all the conversations I had with my mom about my dad in my mind. I really believed my dad was a war hero, and now… who is this guy?"
"It's hard when a person you think you know turns out to be different than you expected," Sharon spoke quietly.
"I feel so stupid for believing her. I knew she lied a lot, but I didn't think she would lie to me about something so big," Rainie sighed. Sharon did not expect just how deeply the idea of having to deal with a loved one's lie had affected her until that moment. She had dealt with Jack's lies so many times that the mere thought that this girl was going through a similar thing made her chest ache. "You know, when I was a kid, I used to imagine what meeting him would be like. I wanted him to be real, tangible. And now, I don't know if I want him to be real anymore."
"You might be surprised," Sharon replied. "Maybe he's a decent man, who wants to get to know you."
"If he's such a decent man, where has he been for sixteen years? Where was he when I was growing up?" Rainie asked angrily.
"It's possible that he didn't know about you," Sharon suggested an explanation.
"Or didn't want to know about me," the girl insisted. "I'm not sure I want anything to do with him."
"It's really up to you, but I urge you to take more time to think before you decide," Sharon sighed and took a long sip of her tea. "What an exhausting day it had been."
"Are you still upset about that case you had today?" Sharon was surprised when it occurred to her that Rainie was aware of her emotions about the case she had investigated earlier in the day.
"A little bit," Sharon turned towards the railing and looked into the darkness.
"But you see dead people all the time. Why is this case different?" the girl wondered.
"If Ben Barlow's parents had reported their children's kidnapping to the police instead of trying to deal with it themselves, it's possible that he would have been alive tonight," Sharon explained.
"Or both of them could be dead," Rainie offered an alternative scenario. "My mother always said there's no use in thinking how life could be different if we had made different choices. She told me her life would be better if she didn't choose to keep me, but she did, so I should be happy that I'm not dead."
"That's a horrible thing to say," Sharon cringed at the idea that Rainie must have felt like she had ruined her mother's life. She knew that if she hadn't gotten pregnant with Emily, she would have gone to law school, but she's never felt any regret for choosing to have a child over a career. Her children were her greatest pride and joy.
"Yeah, she can get nasty when she's upset," Rainie sighed. "But she's right, you know? Thinking 'what if' doesn't get us anywhere. It only makes us get stuck in a pipedream."
"I don't know," Sharon shrugged. "Wanting your children to be safe is not a pipedream. Losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare, and it realized itself for the Barlows tonight. And I feel sorry for them."
"I guess not all parents think like you. My mother couldn't care less if she lost me or not," Rainie shrugged. "And I don't know if my father even wants anything to do with me either."
"I would care," Sharon turned to face Rainie again and put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I may not be your mother, but if something happened to you, I would care about you."
"Would you?" Rainie's eyes widened. "Or are you just saying that to make me feel better about my shitty parents?"
"I promised I won't lie to you, didn't I?" Sharon asked. The girl gave her a slow nod. "And I always keep my promises." For the first time this evening, she saw Rainie's lips curving up in a smile. She smiled back and squeezed the girl's shoulder. "I think we could both use some sleep," she said, and Rainie nodded again and followed Sharon into the living room, closing the sliding glass door before she wished Sharon good night and walked down the hall to her room.
Sharon went to the kitchen and placed the mug in the sink. As she walked down the hall, she couldn't help but think that Rainie may have been right. Living life in an alternative universe served no purpose. She knew every cop had cases that affected them more than others, and she knew that this case hit close to home because the idea of not being able to protect her kids and Rainie was terrifying to her. But Rainie's words also helped her realize that for her to move forward from the tragic case, she would have to stop overanalyzing the possible results of decisions made by others and focus on what she has done to make sure that the Barlows didn't lose their daughter too. With this thought in mind, she went into her room, closed the door behind her and leaned against it. The flat and cool surface against her back felt calming and gave her the sense of stability she craved. Sharon let her eyes fall shut and drew a deep breath. She held it in for a few seconds before she let out a long and cleansing exhale. When she opened her eyes, she felt lighter, as if a burden had been lifted off her chest. She knew that tomorrow she would have to focus her efforts towards helping Rainie make a decision about her father and from the short conversation they had about it tonight, she knew it would be a challenging process, but at least now she'd be able to approach the issue with a clear mind.
-TBC-
As always, I'd love to know your thougths about this chapter, so feel free to leave a review or send me a PM.