A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Introducing a new character is always difficult for me, so I'm glad most of you liked Alfie. He will return to a few more chapters, but he's not in this specific one. However, Rainie still has a big milestone to conquer.
Sharon thought she was dreaming when she walked into the kitchen at 5 a.m. and found it looking like a hurricane site. Rainie stood in front of the stove, wearing an apron over her pajamas and cooked breakfast with almost everything they had in the fridge. Sharon rubbed her eyes and blinked a couple of times to make sure she was seeing it correctly. It was the sweet smell of pancakes that made her realize that she and her daughter were both awake at this early morning hour.
"What's going on?" she asked in confusion as she tried to remember if there was anything special about today.
"I couldn't sleep, so I tried to study for my SATs, but I couldn't concentrate, so I figured it would be better if I made us breakfast," Rainie explained. "Here," she handed Sharon a cup of coffee. "Just the way you like it."
"Thank you, darling," Sharon said and sat down at the dining table. "So, why couldn't you fall asleep?"
"I'm just nervous, I guess," Rainie replied and placed a plate with pancakes in front of Sharon. "I mean, I know I have to do this today, but I'm scared of how everyone is going to react, you know?"
"Coming out is scary, I agree," Sharon said. She and Rainie have been talking about honesty and about not hiding who she was. Although the only person that ever outright admitted to Sharon that he knew was Andy, she was sure that several, if not all members of the squad knew about Rainie's sexual orientation. Most of them, like Sharon, were seasoned detectives and figured it out even before Rainie came out to Sharon. "But I'm sure they will accept and love you just the same as they did before."
"I don't know," Rainie sighed and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Provenza is kinda old-fashioned, and Julio is religious, and Andy will probably get angry and think I'm like this because of what men did to me, and... Buzz – oh, my God – Buzz is going to cry again. I'm not sure I can deal with that."
"Rainie, hold on. Nobody will fault you for your sexual orientation," Sharon assured her. "I think they will appreciate your honesty and respect you for being who you are."
"But what if they don't?" Rainie took a sip of her coffee. "God, this is awful." She spat the dark liquid back into her mug.
"If anyone from the team gives you a hard time about your sexual orientation, I promise you I will reprimand them and assign them a week of sensitivity training."
"Can you do that?" Rainie asked and put her mug on the table.
"Oh, you bet I can," Sharon offered her a reassuring smile. "And you should probably know that I never let my children drink coffee before they turned eighteen and you still have a couple more months to go."
"Don't worry. Coffee sucks. I'll never drink it again," Rainie said.
"I guess you like what you like, and that's something everyone has to accept," Sharon replied.
After their early breakfast, Sharon got ready for work while Rainie went back to bed to try and get some sleep before she had to go to summer school.
"Sweetie, I'm heading out," Sharon stopped by Rainie's room before she left for work. "I'll see you at the station after you finish school?"
"Yeah," Rainie replied from under the blankets.
"Good," Sharon smiled at her. "Have a nice day, love."
"You too," Rainie wished her.
Sharon blew her a kiss, walked down the hall, grabbed her keys and purse and left for work. Sharon Beck's insults at Rainie several weeks earlier seemed to have a long-lasting impact on Rainie's self-confidence. Even though they both knew it was the addiction talking and not Rainie's mother, being called names from a person who was partially responsible for the abuse Rainie suffered struck the girl's heart. Sharon had hoped that owning who she was, taking pride in her sexuality and receiving support from the members of the Major Crimes division would help boost Rainie's confidence. She understood the girl's concern that she may be mocked or that the members of the division would make assumptions about her sexuality having something to do with the abuse she endured. However, Sharon has known all of them long enough to trust that they would make Rainie feel safe to be herself.
She was disappointed to discover that hours later Rainie had not found the courage to come out to Buzz and that she had hoped for Sharon to relay the news to the squad on her behalf. The fear in the girl's eyes when they discussed it was discouraging, but Sharon had insisted that Rainie needed to do that on her own.
Things went south with the case, and Sharon didn't have another chance to talk to Rainie. When an angry Ravi Madhavan stormed into the interview room and forcefully grabbed his daughter, chaos ensued. After Ravi shoved Lina into a wall, Sharon's immediate instinct was to keep Lina safe from her father. She quickly pulled her into the super cubicle. Rainie stood there, watching the violent incident and listening to the exchange between Lina and her father. When Sharon moved out of the cubicle to listen to what Ravi had to say, she knew Lina was safe with Rainie.
After she arrested Mehar Sethi's murderer, she went to check on Lina. She found Rainie trying to comfort Lina and telling her that Mehar's murder was not her fault. It was clear to her that Rainie was not fully aware of the fact that Lina has lost everything she's ever had because of her boyfriend's jealousy and inability to accept their cultural differences. And still, Rainie's willingness to listen and support Lina touched Sharon. Rainie had come a long way from the vulgar and terrified girl that she was only two years earlier.
The positive and confident Rainie was gone when Sharon returned home that evening. Instead, Rainie was lying in bed and staring at the wall with a tortured expression on her face. Sharon tried talking to her about it, but all Rainie cared about was Lina's safety. Her concern for the other girl made Sharon realize that Rainie was more affected by Lina's story that she originally let on. However, she clearly was not ready to discuss her emotions about it tonight, and after making sure Rainie knew that she was there for her if she felt like talking, Sharon headed to her bedroom.
An investigation involving a foreign diplomat created twice the paperwork for Sharon and the Major Crimes division. Sharon was going over the incident reports, the witness statements and Lina Madhavan's testimony before signing off on the evidence. The FBI took over the case after the arrest, and although it initially generated a lot of bureaucracy for Sharon to handle, in the long run, it would save Sharon and the team a lot of work.
Rainie had stopped by after her session with Dr. Joe and asked Sharon a few questions about what was going to happen to Lina before she left Sharon's office to talk to the squad.
From inside her office, Sharon could hear the laughter and cheer from the murder room. A few minutes later, Rainie came back into Sharon's office and took a seat on the chair in front of her. Sharon lifted her head from the paperwork and threw a quick glance at her. Rainie looked much more relaxed than she did before, and it appeared that her coming out went well.
"You were right," the girl said. "They don't hate me. They were nice about it."
"I'm glad this was a good experience for you, Rainie," Sharon said. "And I'm proud of your courage to come out to the people who are closest to you."
"I'm kinda proud of myself, too, right now," Rainie admitted.
Hearing Rainie say those words filled Sharon's heart with joy. It was the first time Rainie had expressed pride in herself and in who she was ever since she came to live with Sharon. Saying that she was proud of herself was a monumental accomplishment, even if Rainie didn't understand it yet. It was a long way from the angry and unconfident girl that came home with Sharon two years earlier. Sharon had hoped that one day, Rainie will look at this day and this moment as something that shaped who she was.
"Are we still going out for hamburgers on the way home?" Sharon asked. She originally offered the idea to help comfort Rainie, but it appeared that the girl didn't need to be comforted.
"You know I can't refuse hamburgers," Rainie smiled.
Sharon closed the file she's been reading and pushed her chair back. She grabbed her jacket and hung her purse on her shoulder. They walked out of Sharon's office together, wished the squad goodnight, and went into the elevator.
"Are you happy?" Sharon asked Rainie once the elevator started descending.
"I'm more than happy, Sharon," Rainie replied. "I'm gay."
-TBC-
As always, I'd love to know what you think about this chapter, so feel free to leave a review or send me a PM.