D: in english today we had to finish the other half of these 'well known proverbs'. Apparently they arent 'well known' enough cause I got 90% of them wrong. For the ones I didn't know, I just winged it.
W: ya?
D: ya. for example. "Children should be seen - " and my answer was "not yelled at or grounded."
D: or "When the blind lead the blind -" and my answer was "get out of the way."
D: but on this one I just wanted to mess with them, was gonna fail it anyway so why not. the saying was "Better late than - " and my answer was " pregnant ".
W: you little smart ass.
W: I would like to thank my arms, for always being by my side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
D: you're an idiot.
D: why would she sell sea shells by a sea shore when you can just pick them up off the ground for free
D: thats not how you run a business
W: She sold sea shells by the seashore since shapely seashore seashells stay scarce. Since she sells superior shells searchers spend centuries searching for, seldom selling simple shells, she still sustains solid savings.
D: Im gonna KILL you.
W: Ancient greeks believed that redheads would turn into vampires after they died
D: I know what you are
W: say it. say it out loud.
D: if 'womb' is pronounced 'woom' and 'tomb' is pronounced 'toom' should 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?
W: ...
W: is that a pun
D: dude I'm a triple threat
D: I'm a smart ass, bad-ass, and have a great ass
W: you know how we went to visit relatives last week
D: ya
W: well my mom's cousin took us all to church, and her husband said he'd give me 20$ if while the priest was flinging holy water at us, I'd run into the aisle once he passed and start hissing/screaming "IT BURNS"
W: so ya now I got 20 more bucks
D: words cannot tell how much I love you
D: so forget it
W: ...
W: TODAY MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER BURNED A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL THAT WAS SOAKED IN ALCOHOL, BUT FORGOT TO TELL US THAT THE MONEY WOULDN"T BURN, ONLY THE ALCOHOL
W: SO THE MONEY IS AFLAME AND WE'RE ALL YELLING AT HIM BUT THE ALCOHOL BURNED OFF AND THE BILL WAS FINE
D: I use 100 dollar bills to light the marble fireplace in my room
W: SHUT UP GRAYSON
W: what color are you guys painting M'gann's room?
D: Barney's blood.
W: dude come on.
D: *sends picture of paint sample and name tag for it that says 'Barney's Blood*
D: I'm dead serious.
W: apparently so is Barney.
D: its funny that we say 'oh, man' to express disappointment
D: because men are disappointing
W: why did they hire a human actor to play a dragon
D: youre right they should have hired a dragon
D: so we're at Hoover Dam
W: oh boy
D: Goats are all over the side of it. pointed it out to Bruce.
W: here we go.
D: Goats all over the dam place
D: I'm going to go buy some dam water
D: and maybe a dam snack
D: at the dam snack bar
D: oh look theres dam barbeque
D: Look at all that dam concrete
D: Dam. this is huge
W: please stop :/
D: are you getting tired of my dam jokes?
D: I thought they were dam good
D: Bruce is giving me 'the look'.
D: apparently he's been counting how many dam jokes I've made today.
D: dam it.
D: Say loast, coast, roast, ghost, host, woast, post, quost, nost, boast
D: what do you put in a toaster?
W:...dang it.
D: HA the answer is bread you moron
D: there is a legend that if you go take a shower and scream "MOM" three times, a nice lady appears bringing the towel you forgot.
W: lol
D: In my case its "ALFRED" but same difference
W: I'm totally useless today
D: you're not totally useless.
D: you can be used as a bad example
D: Bruce just made a dad joke.
D: Kill me now.
D: today I learned that if you kill someone in international waters on an unregistered boat then throw the body overboard they can't trace it back to any one legal system so you can't be prosecuted for their murder
W: ...
W: so what did you do today
D: this person on the transit is sitting way too close
D: Gonna kill Roy for dragging me on this thing
W: can you move?
D: no cause then we both lose our seats
D: personal space invaded bigtime. this guys trying to read over my shoulder.
W: delete this, and my last messages. then make your screen viewable to him while I text you again.
D: k
W: he will be arriving at 3:00 pm. His car is a white mustang, and he will be alone. Nobody frequents that part of the building at that time of day. We will have 45 minutes to work with.
W: the side door has a simple lock you can easily pick.
W: We can hide in the closet next to the door, and wait for him to go down the hall
W: We can use a serrated knife, or butcher knife. Or maybe the machete that hangs on your wall.
W: or two out of the three options.
D: whats the soundproofing like?
W: so long as we have a baseball bat, we can knock him out with one swing and should be fine.
D: Make sure you have raincoats in the trunk of your car, they should be enough to stop our clothes from staining.
D: if not I've got some antiseptic just in case
W: I have a hoard of plastic wrap, so we can protect the carpet and leave no trace.
D: How are going to go about disposing him. I still say acid treatment.
W: No, landfill.
D: Wally he just moved to the other side of the train
D: His face Omg you should see his face
W: I am DYING here
W: ABSOLUTE HySteRiA
D: the LOOK ON HIS FACE
D: I'M TRYING NOT TO LAUGH
D: I am CRYING with the effort of not laughing
D: Roy came bck says im about to pop a blood vessel if don't calm down
W: DONT LAUGH
D: He'S TERRIFIED. the LOOKS he's giving me !
D: WALLY HIS FACE
Author note : *in Eezma's voice* I bet you weren't expecting...THIS!
LOL no but seriously you guys definitely weren't expecting a new chapter for this so soon, haha got you.
I doubt I will ever be able to top the previous chapters. And I thought I needed to explain what I'm doing with this story; I really was planning on ending this on chapter 8 or 9, cause I thought I ran out of prompts and ideas. But more kept popping up, but it takes longer to accumulate enough to make a whole chapter, which is why the updates on this story are taking longer. What I'm trying to say is that no next chapter is guaranteed; I mean I'll be saving up ideas and prompts for the next chapter on this, but theres no promise that I'll have enough, and if I do, it could take quite a while to gather them all. BUT - anyway,
Your reviews in the last chapter made me feel like I was surrounded with kittens, they made me so happy :D Thanks, all you awesome readers! It made my day :)
Shoutout to Aryna Demitri! 3