"So. Do we all know the plan?"
It was actually quite simple. They had met up some hours down the road since leaving Tulsa, (to Sam's disgust and at Jody's insistence) in a diner in Pawnee, to ensure that they had all had a rest and some warm fresh food in their bellies before continuing with the hunt under cover of the darkness of a countryside night.
They had also used the time spent munching burgers and salads to detail exactly where the unknown dwellings were, and to decide how best to proceed…. which, as Sam was determined he was going to look for his brother no matter what… and god, demon or nothing else had better get in his way or else… and Castiel still couldn't actually physically see the buildings in question anyway, proved to be fairly simple to allocate roles.
They were going to drive to the specified area as close as they could get, and then the younger Winchester was going to break into the larger of the two dwellings in the hopes of finding Dean, while Claire and the sheriff would quickly check the smaller building (which they all felt looked more like an outhouse anyway) and then move to join him once their search was complete.
The angel would stay outside in the field as a guard and/or back-up depending upon what he might or might be suddenly able to perceive… if anything at all.
But it still had proved irritatingly slow to Sam for them to finally find the correct dirt track in the dark starry-clear night of Oklahoma, and then to find somewhere that he and Claire could hide the vehicles out of any nosy onlooker's view while they carefully made their way across the large meadowed pasture down towards the dwellings in question, until dawn was only actually a couple of hours away by the time he finally felt the wood of the cabin that he hoped his brother was in beneath his fingertips.
It was with some considerable nervous trepidation that the young man picked the lock on the rear door, and let himself into the building.
His flashlight solidified the impression of it being a cabin. There was a fairly large open living area, with kitchen cupboards and a breakfast bar at the one end he had entered, and a huge television set complete with entertainment centre, and accompanying incredibly comfortable-looking chairs at the other.
The light from his torch followed the treads of a set of stairs as they disappeared to a second level… and Sam momentarily thought about accompanying it… but then his attention was caught by a door at the end of the cabin. Sneaking across to see what was behind it, he found himself in a short hallway with two more doorways.
Behind one proved to be a small restroom: basic facilities and a small walk-in shower.
The second room, as Sam shone his flashlight around from the safety of the doorway didn't look to be full of much… but then he heard a steady breathing, and a sleepy mumble that he had heard most nights just about his whole life, and his heart all but missed a beat…
He didn't know what he had actually intended to do upon seeing Dean: Sam hadn't really thought that far beyond finding his brother, and finding him safe.
But… just for a second… Sam stood in the doorway and stared at the occupied bed in the makeshift bedroom with full-on tears of relief in his eyes…
… and then he was bodily flinging himself forward to the bed beside his brother: his only clear intention simply being to wrap his arms tightly around the older man and pledge to them both that he was never, ever, going to let him go out of his sight ever again.
Ever.
Dean came awake instantly Sam took a step into the small room, his Hunter instincts as sharp than ever, and he was reaching for the knife hidden beneath his pillow even as his younger brother managed to land full length and fully-clothed alongside him: long arms and large hands frantically grappling to stop the blade being struck in his direction. "Dean! Dean! It's me!"
To his relief, Sam managed to grasp Dean's wrist even as it stalled in its thrust: the sharp cruel metal glinting viciously in the other's hand even as abruptly woken green eyes tried to make sense of the situation unfolding in the near darkness. "Wha…?"
"It's me! It's me." And Sam was trying to wrap his arms around the combination of Dean and the bed covers, (that he was now hampering himself with due to them being held in position beneath his own weight as well), and throwing a leg across both the other man's because, knowing his brother it might well prove to be necessary, and pull him close…
But even though Dean was no longer trying to stab him… for the moment at least… Sam could feel how tense his brother was, and how he was trying to pull away… and the younger man could see the furrows caused by the other's eyebrows even despite the gloom of the room and how confused he was looking …
… at Sam.
A memory flashed through the younger Winchester's mind.
"Scent me!"
"What?"
"Scent me!" The memory in his head… memories… were clear: of Dean… the other Dean… who had used his nasal sense probably more than every other one beside that of touch: his nostrils had twitched continually throughout the time that Sam had known him, inhaling each and every little piece of information that the world around had to offer. "It's me, Dean! Just… scent me." The younger man tried to make his voice sound calm. And tilted his head to bear his neck in an offering…
The older man stared at him momentarily as if in a daze… but then obediently leant forward on the bed and buried his nose into the scraggy mess of greasy and unkempt overgrown hair that Sam had forgotten now covered not only his head but also his face, chin and throat… and inhaled.
Then Dean inhaled again, another deep breath… and to the younger man's relief, Sam felt his brother slowly relax against him as he finally fully recognised the large man hidden behind the newly grown fuzz. "Sammy? What are you doing here?"
"Shhh." And his arms were tightening their hold to pull Dean even closer and he was burrowing his lips into the other's soft head of hair and breathing in the feel of the older man as his eyes once more prickled with enough moisture to this time overflow down his cheeks and he didn't care… Sam didn't care… he had found his brother and he was here safe and he was never letting him go.
They lay in companionable silence for a long few moments… but then Dean was tensing up again. "Sam? What…? I mean…? How did you find me?"
"I've looked and looked, and I never would have stopped looking for you, Dean. I never would."
"Yes, but…"
"You know I never would."
There was a pause… but this time it wasn't quite as companionable. "Dean? You do know I'd never had stopped looking for you, don't you?"
"I…"
Sam loosened his hold enough to be able to wriggle slightly down the bed until he could see his brother properly face-to-face. Dean was pale, too pale for the younger man's liking: he looked like he had been out of the sun completely for the last few months, and the pallor of his skin was causing the green of his eyes to be vivid even in the gloom of the small room.
And he looked… nervous… worried… scared? Sam couldn't help but stare at him, his own eyes wide and drying quickly with his concern. "Dean? It's okay. I've found you: you're safe."
"Why are you here, Sammy?" The tone wasn't friendly, but Sam still couldn't determine what other emotion was most prominent. "What are you going to do?"
"What am I…? What do you mean: what am I going to do? What do you mean?"
"I…"
"What… Dean?"
But his brother was looking away from him, staring across the gap between them to focus on Sam's plaid over-shirt, and not his face, with a determined intensity that informed the younger man immediately that there would be no forthcoming conversation.
Which instantly pissed Sam off.
"Really? Are we really going to do this? You just vanish out of the Bunker into thin air months ago, leaving me and Cas worried sick because we didn't know where the hell you were, or whether you were alive or dead, or even whether you were even still here in this world or back in that world, or what was going on!?
We've been looking for you for fucking months! We've crisscrossed the fucking country on a weekly basis looking for you!
And now you're just going to ignore me? You're just going to do this damned… silence of yours that you always do? This fucking 'I'm fine' thing that you always say but never really fucking are? You think I don't know that? Or know you?"
There was a long silence in the room: this time, completely unfriendly. Sam just about bit through his own lip with anger but knew that he wouldn't get anywhere by yelling any more at the other man: his brother always accused him and their dad of being equally mule-headed when in reality he could out-stubborn the pair of them!
And Dean could outlast anyone when it came to hiding his feelings. For the simple reason that he didn't think they mattered, not to anyone.
And Sam knew that that was as much his fault as their dad's.
He sighed and tried to make his voice sound calm despite his inner exasperation: "Dean? What was that you once said to me? That there 'ain't no me if there ain't no you'? Well… that goes both ways, big brother. Please believe me!
It goes both ways, Dean."
His words worked. The other man raised his head enough to be able to stare at him with eyes-so-wide-they-were-almost-round in the darkness, but still didn't say a word.
Sam suppressed another sigh with a lot of effort. And continued: "You disappeared in a matter of minutes, Dean. Minutes! Cas was distraught: he blames himself for not being there when you woke up. And he thinks I blame him as well, which I don't, because I know what a slippery piece of shit you can be!
Why did you leave? Why? And where the hell did you go because we looked everywhere? Cas must've gone round the world three or four times that first night and I searched everywhere I could think of that you might have gone. We've been so worried! Really we have! Where did you go…?
But that doesn't matter: that doesn't matter!" Sam corrected himself with a shake of his head. "All that matters is we've found you… we've found you…
And you're safe: you're okay. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay! We've found you and you're okay, and you're going to come home and we're going to keep you safe.
I swear, Dean. I swear. We're going to keep you safe. Just come home. And if you're worried about those monsters from that world that… that… that… raped you… then I'm never going to let them near you again, Dean. I swear that as well. I'll never let them get near you again."
His brother continued to stare at him… but then to Sam's horror the green eyes were suddenly filling with tears, causing them to glisten and shine in the near gloom of the room momentarily before Dean once again ducked his head to stare again fixedly instead at the younger man's solid chest…
… but this time with such sorrow in his action rather than stubbornness that it was almost palpable.
"Dean? Dean, talk to me: what's going on?
C'mon, Dean," as the older man simply curved his body into a basic banana-shape beneath the covers on the bed and buried his head against Sam's over-shirts with the obvious intention of hiding his face… and more importantly his expression. It seemed natural to the younger brother to tighten his arms even more and press his lips into the soft, albeit slightly longer than normal hair, in response as his own heart seemed to stutter also in sympathy. "Talk to me, man: tell me what's wrong."
There was another long silence… but this time it didn't matter. Sam knew Dean. He knew that all he had to do was wait…
"It wasn't rape." The younger man had to strain his ears to make out the words as they were not only muffled by being mumbled into his shirts… but also… that he had never heard his brother's voice so quiet…
… or sounding so miserable.
"What?"
There was another pause, but… "It wasn't rape, Sammy. I… I don't want you to think that of him. He didn't rape me, I…
I should have been able to control myself. I shouldn't ha…
His scent was just so…
Amazing is the wrong word, Sam. It just…
It called to me. I mean physically… it was like a wave of sense… senses… all of them… not only his scent but just him being in the room, and he would wrap his arm around me and I'd feel so… safe: I know that sounds stupid… and then he'd smile… and, oh god… the way that he just made me feel with just a smile…
That's all he had to do... just smile, and I would see those dimples, deeper even than yours, and I would feel that everything could be okay… would be okay… no matter what was going on with Manolli and whatever the hell that bastard was planning…
And his laugh… it just… When Samuel laughed, everything was just…" Dean's eyes were filling with moisture again at the thought of the young Alpha that he had fallen so deeply in love with and just missed so much…
"He was just…
I know I should have resisted…. I should have been able to resist for god's sake: I mean, I'm a grown man and he's…
He's only a kid, and I'm a grown-up. I shouldn't have let it get that far. I should have stopped him: I should've been strong enough to…
Dean's voice momentarily trailed off… but then he was suddenly straightening his body where he lay on the bed so that he could meet his brother's eyes directly, his own still shining with threatened tears, and he was speaking his next words with determined authority. "He didn't rape me, Sam. He never did: he never would. If that disgusts you, then I'm sorry. But it wasn't rape.
And I need you to know that… that I… I miss him. I miss him more than I ever thought that I'd ever miss anyone… even more than I missed you every time you left me…"
The green eyes overflowed and Sam sighed as his brother yet again had to look away as he tried to contain his tears. "But I shouldn't have…" Dean snuffled. "I should have had more self-control…"
"You found your soul-mate."
"What…?"
But Sam was trying to think… "An Alpha for every omega, and an omega for every Alpha."
"What?"
"That's how the other Dean described it," the incredulous younger man was trying to remember how it had been explained to him, "that the… moon goddess of that world created a perfect match for every man and woman… well… every Alpha and omega… that's what that Dean was… is that what you're….?
His words faltered as he felt his brother's body stiffen against his… and Sam didn't even have to see Dean's expression to know that his chest had just been given a look of mixed complete outrage and disgust… but he wasn't prepared for the stink that suddenly filled the room…
It was with genuine shock that Sam realised it was somehow emanating from the older man… and even more of a shock to realise that it was the stench of pure shame and self-loathing.
Hastily he continued along his original train of thought, completely unaware that he was now beginning to soothingly rub his brother's back as he did, and that the unpleasant smell slowly but almost immediately began to dissipate with each pass of his hand: "The other Dean said that the scent of a soul-mate would seep into your soul… so much you wouldn't be able to exist without it… Sound familiar?
Fuck, Dean. You met your soul-mate."
"Fucking terrific." The sound was little more than a grunt, although Sam could hear the fresh batch of tears threatening behind it. "I still should have managed to resist it… she brought me back here once we'd… She should have just left me there, in that world with him. By doing this… I mean by succumbing to Samuel's charms… I've damned him and myself, and he ain't going to know his own kid…
Dad would be so ashamed of me…"
"Screw dad!" That was it: the younger man had had enough. With every other word he was slightly shaking his brother's body, still wrapped up tight as it was in both the covers of the bed and Sam's arms, for emphasis. "He never thought anything you ever did was any good! Nor what I did, for that matter! All that mattered was his revenge… which I understand… now… but not at the cost of us.
It should never have been at the cost of us.
And he certainly wouldn't have understood this… but I do!
I understand, Dean. You… you've changed… somehow… when you were in that world. Because of that world. You're not quite human any more, but you're also not… superhuman… or just a perfect little soldier despite you've been brought up to believe. You're only human… well," he corrected himself hastily. "You're not… but that's what I'm trying to say. You're not this… untouchable, unimpeachable, soulless thing that you think you are. You never have been.
You're a living, breathing, feeling, emotional, normal wonderful being, Dean, who deserves love. Believe me, you do! And if that's with a man… well, then, I always expected it to be Castiel anyway, but I don't care as long as you're happy: man or woman, it doesn't matter to me at all and it never has.
But this is even more than that… you found your soul-mate, and of course you couldn't have stopped yourself. This is the one being in the entire universe that has supposedly been created to be your perfect match. It would have been like standing in front of a tidal wave with your hands up trying to stop it and not expecting to get wet, or face down a typhoon without getting a single hair blown out of place!
An irresistible force… that's how your look-alike described it. A marriage destroyer…
Or in that world's case… a mating destroyer.
So. If that's what you're worried about: that you couldn't resist being what you now are... If that's why you ran from the Bunker… then you don't need to be…
Just come home."
There was a long silence in the darkened room. Sam pressed his lips against the older man's short (ish) hair and told himself that it wasn't a kiss… na-hah, no way, not a kiss. Then:
"Are you going to kill me?"
There was an even longer silence. Sam couldn't quite believe his ears: had Dean really just asked that? Had he really just asked that? "No! No, I'm not going to kill you! Why the hell would you ask that? Dean? Why would you ask that?"
"You said it: I'm not human anymore. I'm just a monster now, Sammy..."
The younger man felt that his heart was going to stop from horror.
"… And that's what we do. That's what we've always done."
The younger Winchester sighed. And hugged his older brother impossibly closer as if he could merge them both into one body by sheer willpower and the strength of his hold.
And he definitely kissed the top of Dean's head.
"Did you kill me when dad told you to? When you realised that I had a few drops of demon blood in me? When I became ad…addi…addicted to demon blood enough to be tricked into letting the fucking devil loose…
When I fucking let Lucifer loose and nearly condemned the world to be destroyed by the Apocalypse… did you kill me?"
"Don't be stupid! That's different!" Dean was trying to wriggle loose.
"How is that different!?" Sam held on tight. "Apart from the drops of demon blood, I chose to do what I did! I chose to believe that fucking black-eyed little bitch and ignored… well, everyone else but especially you! You didn't! You didn't choose to be changed into…" He forced himself to pause and try to make his voice sound calmer. "You didn't choose to be… bitten… or scratched… or whatever happened in that world, Dean. And whatever it is you are now, you are not a monster.
And even if you were, I wouldn't kill you!
Because you're my brother. You will always be my brother.
And I will always love you no matter what."
There was another silence: this time, a slightly stunned one from Dean's side of the bed and a patiently waiting one from Sam.
"What… about… what you said… chaining me in the dungeon…?"
"Oh Dean." Yes, Sam remembered what he had said. His own words had replayed in his head most nights since he had realised that the older man most probably had heard them… that they would probably been the last words that he had heard his younger brother say in the Bunker before he had fled it. "I never would. Well, not unless I had no choice. Not unless you became dangerous to yourself… or it was the only way to keep you from doing something monumentally stupid…
That was just words. Cas and I were just talking, and…"
"Cas kissed me. He kissed me, Sam."
"I know. I know he did. And I know what you heard… and I know what you think. But you're safe with us, Dean. So was the other Dean. It just all got… very complicated. But… you're safe with us: you don't ever need to worry that…
Please come home. I just need you to come home."
"I thought the Bunker wasn't home." The older man's voice contained a slight sulk: Sam could immediately visualise the pout that would be accompanying it even in the darkness of the room and had to resist the urge to smirk.
"You're my home, jerk. You always have been: it just took me a long time to realise that. If you don't want to come back to the Bunker, then okay. And if you don't want to see Cas, then I'll make sure he stays away from you. But wherever you are, is where I going to be, and if that's here… then that's okay as well, Dean. As long as we're together then I don't care."
He stared across and slightly down defiantly at his brother, who he had by now released from his arms and the tight covers just enough to allow Dean to straighten up enough on the bed to be able to stare directly back at him with red-rimmed eyes... but to the younger man's relief, there was now a slight twinkle in them that he had just missed soooo much… "I forgot how bossy you can get, Sammy. Makes me go all tingly…"
"Shaddup." Despite himself Sam blushed. And slurpingly kissed the top of his brother's head but this time simply for the sole little-brotherly reason of really annoying the other man.
Which to his gratification, it immediately succeeded in doing.
Dean wriggled enough to be able to finally pull completely free of his embrace without any seemingly malice other than an exaggerated 'blech' sound, but to Sam's relief then his brother remained simply laying on the bed beside him: "Chick-flick moment over, bitch?"
The younger man smiled and also turned to lie on his back side-by-side and close enough to punch at Dean's arm with his own. "Chick-flick over. Come home."
"Sam? Did you find him?"
Both men startled at the hissed whisper that hadn't come from either from them. And reacted immediately: Sam leaping instantly to his feet as he recognised the voice, ready to tackle his brother who he just knew would be doing the same thing while once again going for the knife under his pillow…
Which indeed Dean was.
"Dean! It's Jody!"
His brother paused even as he was stepping forward to greet the perceived threat, raised blade in hand… "Jody? You told Jody!"
Sam couldn't help his smirk at the tone of aghast panic in the older man's voice.
"And me! Hey, Dean!"
Claire was also bursting through the door into the darkened room, feeling for the wall switch as she did and all but blinding both brothers momentarily as the main light flickered on, the older man especially, "Son of a bitch!"
"What? Oh my god, it's true!" And the young blonde was hurrying to hug Dean, flinging her arms around his neck in such an enthusiastic manner as to nearly knock him over, but then almost immediately she was pulling away and stepping back enough to be able to gently rest her fingers against his chest and upper abdomen…
… where Sam and Jody's eyes had also immediately been irresistibly drawn to now they could see fully in the newly brightened room.
For Dean now had a bump where he had never had a bump before.
He had been sleeping in a t-shirt and sweatpants. It was a simple outfit that left him nowhere to hide his new shape… or the slightly awkward way he was standing with the tiniest of winces in his movements. To Sam's untrained eye, his brother looked to be carrying the baby higher than a woman usually did: the swelling that was caused by its position seemed to start just below his ribcage to gently disturb into what was still only a fairly small bulge even though the birth, by the younger Winchester's reckoning, had to be only approximately two months away.
It went through Sam's mind as well that there was another distinctive difference about Dean from how he had been before he had been taken by that world: in the light of the room now, he could tell that the other's nostrils were in as much motion as his look-alike's had been, twitching unobtrusively but constantly with deep inhalations, using them as a new major sense to map the world and individuals around him.
Even as Dean stared across at him, with a slight frown between his eyebrows that the younger man couldn't help but wonder about, he knew that he was seeing a slightly newer version of the older man.
And it flashed across Sam's mind suddenly that he had never seen his big brother look so beautiful.
He was also hit by the sudden realisation that he was jealous of the young blonde who was standing so close to Dean as to be able to touch him… and a sudden shame that he felt like that: he was going to have to get that reaction very much under control…
Then the young man's attention was being caught by something else… a movement beneath Dean's tight-fitting t-shirt that screamed either alien parasite ready to erupt from the chest cavity, or something else not quite so sinister but equally jaw-dropping, as was substantiated by Claire's sudden excited squeal: "Oh my God, is that…?"
"Yeah," Dean smiled despite himself. "She's stretching."
"Let's have a feel, boy." "We're having a girl?"
And the proud mummy-daddy to be found himself surrounded by his brother and his friends suddenly, all gently touching his abdomen in the hopes of feeling the baby's movements again… and to Dean's disbelief, he sensed each of their genuine excitement and unquestioning concern for him. The astonishment of that realisation caused him to nearly stutter a little: "Yeah, that's… that's what the ultrasound last week showed. And… and… that's what I felt from the start as well… I kn..know that sounds stupid…"
"Parental instincts, boy: I'm so proud of you!" And Jody was throwing her arms tightly around Dean with an almost maternal mixture of emotional euphoria and tearful relief. "It's gonna be okay: you're not alone in this… you never have been. You've got us! You always have had…
Why don'tcha ever just remember that, ya big lug!" She pulled away enough to be able to punch the older Winchester on the arm with a sharp blow hard enough to make Dean wince and rub at the spot before he was enveloped in another even tighter hug. "Have you any idea of how worried we've been?!"
"Dean?"
They all turned at the sound of the deep voice. Castiel stood in the doorway of the room along with an elderly man who may have had many wrinkles, more grey hairs than black, twinkling dark brown eyes and a slightly oversized nose for his face… not to mention scarlet-red shiny-silk pyjamas clashing with fluffy moccasin-style slippers… but who still gave off a genuine air of distinction and authority. "I figured that Our Lady let the rest of them get in here anyway…" he shrugged, "so I scratched through the sigils…"
"Hello, Dean."
"Hey Cas. Shit, I'd forgotten about those damned wings…"
"Wings? You can see his wings?" Jody stared at the older Winchester and then the angel in surprise. As did Claire.
"Yeah," Dean mumbled. "It was what brought it home to me immediately that I wasn't… me… anymore. I could see Cas's wings. I can, I mean."
Sam hadn't realised that he had instinctively put himself between the two of them until Dean shook off his surprise about seeing the shimmering feathered appendages again and reached out to touch his arm. "Dude? You okay?"
The younger Winchester shook his irrationality off. "Sorry. You and I and Cas have a lot to talk about what happened when you returned. I just… didn't want the moment to be spoilt…"
This was with a pointed look at the angel, who tried to resist the urge to tilt his head as he worked out the meaning behind the pointed words: "Of course, I…"
"What's going on?" Claire hadn't missed the exchange. Neither had Jody.
But it was Dean who replied. "We had a major misunderstanding when I got back from… where-ever it was… like… major. But as Sammy said, we just need to talk it through."
The younger Winchester barely contained his sigh of relief: even after everything that had happened, Dean's first instinct would always be to look after him and keep his secret.
In fact, Dean would keep his and Castiel's secret…
… Sam couldn't help but smirk inside himself though… Dean would keep their secret even if it meant him actually having to talklater…
Dean!
Talking!
Although… thinking about it… his big brother would probably want this particular secret kept more than any other…
He wouldn't want anyone to know that both Sam and Cas had had extremely often, and exceedingly enthusiastic, sexual relations with his look-alike from another dimension…
…and… well… actually… neither would they…
He and Cas definitely didn't want anyone to know what they had done with the other Dean…
… Yeah… the three of them certainly had a lot to discuss.
When they all got back to the Bunker, that is…
But first he had to convince his brother to come…
… and it might well be worth changing the present subject before Jody or Claire… or even worse, both… felt it necessary to pursue it…
"Dean? Who is this?" Sam indicated the red satiny-clad man. "Did he bring you here?"
The distinguished, if somewhat nattily dressed older man smiled, his wrinkles lifting into well-worn crow's feet of laughter lines: "Nah, boy. Our Lady led him to us. Although I must admit I was surprised that Pah is actually a female: I have begun sharing the correct retelling of our legends. But we are honoured to have been chosen."
"Our Lady?" Jody had watched her boy's reaction to the arrival of his brother and the angel, and was beginning to wonder just how much she wasn't going to like what she was definitely determined now to find out! "The who now?"
"What do you mean 'led'?" Sam began at the same time. "How did you get here from the bunker? It's over 600 miles!"
"Our Lady Moon brought me here." Dean nodded and began to explain: "She's the goddess that did all this, took me to that… world, dimension… whatever the hell it is. I don't know why or what she wanted… what she still wants… or why she did this…"
He hesitated momentarily, then addressed his younger brother directly. "I know she's not finished with me, Sam. This isn't finished. Hell," he sighed, "it's only just beginning, what with this… me becoming this and having a baby and everything.
I just wish she'd let me stay there in that world and not have to come back here. But… somehow … it's going to be okay. It will. Eventually. I've just got to… hold on. I know this sounds stupid, but…
You know how you reckon you never lost faith in God no matter what, Sammy… well, even after everything… Lucifer and… all that.
Well, I've… I felt that she was there with me. All the way through…well…. everything that happened in that… place, with the constant threat of violence and the sexual harassments and the eventual attack on the house and the children... I felt… I knew, Sammy… that I wasn't on my own. I knew there was something else with me…
And when I got back here to this world… and the way everything happened in that warehouse… it all just got so messed-up, but I ran out of the Bunker… I had to get out of that Bunker… and I took a deep breath and I knew.
I knew she's not done with me.
I've just got to trust her. So I waited, and she sent my beautiful big cat as a guide and all I had to was follow… It took a couple of days of walking just about continually and two completely ruined boots but I ended up at Benjamin here's door. I'm safe here with him."
"You're safe with us! At the Bunker!" Sam couldn't help the sharpness of his tone: not only had he decided instantly that he didn't like the sound of this 'Benjamin', but also he didn't like the way his brother was talking. It had been bad enough the other Dean gushing excitedly and continually about a goddess, but for his own actual brother to also do so? And in this eerie…. accepting … way?
Hell, no.
In his mind he was already running through every piece of information he could ever remember about brain washing and other conditioning techniques… and how to break them. This 'Lady' might be a goddess but that didn't also mean that she wasn't a complete Bitch that Sam was going to kill for doing this to his Dean the very first chance he got.
No, the moment he could get his brother back safely to the Bunker, they were going to discuss what this moon god thing actually was and how it wasn't wanted… and the sooner he could get Dean there, the better.
"He's safe here because he's with child." The elderly man, Benjamin's, voice was deep and calm, seemingly completely unperturbed at the arrivals in the middle of the night. "The first of their kind in this world for a very long time. He has been chosen by Our Lady Pah… and I am honoured that she has chosen me to serve her.
I have been the shaman on this reservation for over forty years. Generations of our family have lived here: passing on the wisdom; handing down the skills; bequeathing the superstitions and the rituals.
She brought him to us, and he is safe here. He is not seen as a freak, as the rest of the world will judge him to be. I will see him safely through the birth. And we have already arranged the paperwork so the child will be accepted in the community outside our boundaries… one of our brethren is a respected doctor with a practice in the local town and my daughter's name will be on the birth certificate as the mother. Everything has been prepared for Dean and his baby: they are officially Pawnee family now."
"No." That was it, Sam had had enough. He was physically reaching to pull the older Winchester behind him even as he spoke, causing Dean to stumble a little. Sam caught him around the waist with his arms immediately in support and held on tight: "That's the one thing that will never be. Dean is my brother. That child is my niece. I am the only family that he will ever need. And I will protect them both with my life. I swear that."
He felt his brother's surprise through the arm he had around him and the wide green eyes as they blinked in his direction.
"As do I." Castiel was across from the doorway and standing beside the tall young man, deliberately putting himself between the human he loved so much and the stolidly unexcitable Benjamin in the next instant. "I am so sorry, Dean. I did not think through my actions when you returned from that world, and of course you were bewildered. I forgot that you were not… that… other version of you that I… we…"
"There's time to talk about that later." Sam interrupted. "Once we're back at the Bunker. Let's get going, Dean."
"You are not listening!" Benjamin frowned. "Your brother is better off here, at least until the baby arrives. That is why Our Lady brought him here…"
"So you can play at being 'Grand-daddy'?" Sam spat at him. "How's your daughter really feeling about being forced to lie on a birth certificate? Or is she suddenly going to demand 'maternal rights'? Are you going to try and claim my brother's child?" he suddenly wondered and his rage racked up a notch. "Because if that's your plan, then I'm telling you now that…"
"Sammy…" his older but smaller brother was looking up at him. "You're getting this wrong."
"My daughter died over two decades ago." The elderly man's tone was steady, but gave away his sadness even after so many years. "We buried her beneath the oldest cedar in our reservation and… just never got around to registering her death. But she would have been honoured to serve the Lady…
That's why she chose for the nahurac to lead Dean here…"
"The nahurac?" Jody didn't understand a word of anything at the moment, but she was right there beside Sam and Castiel: if Dean needed her help then she wasn't going to be anywhere else but between him and danger.
Neither was Claire. The beautiful young blonde was already reaching for one of her knives at the mention of a supernatural being: "What the hell's a nahurac?"
"If you'll just all give me a chance, then I'll tell you." Dean was getting exasperated: not only were they all standing guard around him which he did not need at all, and Sam still had a tight protective hold around him and was standing far too close at the moment, but also… his back was starting to hurt and he could have done with being able to rest his slightly swollen ankles.
Not to mention that now he was awake, he really, really desperately needed to piss.
"The nahurac is the spirit animal I just told you about: the one that led me here. She was sent by Our Lady and she's beautiful… Looks like a big cat…"
"With perfect rosette markings and eyes nearly as green as yours?" This time Castiel couldn't help but tilt his head with his interest. "Is it the same one that the other Dean was protected by as well?"
Dean was surprised as he hadn't known any of what have happened, but he seized on the words: "Exactly. Protect being the operative word. She brought me here so that Benjamin could arrange everything that needs to be arranged. And he's talked me through what's…" the swallow that was almost a gulp gave away his actual anxiousness despite the pretended calm "…what's to come. I've gotta stay here. At least until she's born."
"No, you don't." And Sam was pleading with him, trying to use his eyes to their most perfected effect. "Come home with me. You'll be safe back at the Bunker: you know you will.
And when it's time for… well, you know… I'll be right there with you." The young man glanced across at the angel, who nodded immediately. "We'll be right there with you. Castiel can help you… he can whammy her right out of you if necessary…"
The sudden silence in the room… and the disgusted looks in his direction from both women, his brother, the shaman and the angel told Sam that he had perhaps gone too far.
Hastily he back-tracked. "Okaaaay. What I meant was… I'm going to be right there with you. All the way. Right up to when she's born… and after.
I want to be there for you, Dean. You're my brother and my entire family. But, if you're happier here, then we'll stay. Both of us. Together. Here. Please. And if you do need extra help when you… I mean… well then, Castiel's going to be there as well and he'll be useful, Dean. You know he will.
If you need it…
Whatever you want to do, I promise I'll be right there beside you… for whatever you need.
I always will be."
The puppy eyes were now being used with full force, and completely focused on his brother. Who, despite himself, couldn't help but avert his gaze while beginning to ruefully rub at the back of his neck with one hand: "I don't know, Sammy. I… I…"
"It would only be natural to be anxious about the birth, Dean." Castiel had always understood his friend. "Even women preparing for their first child must find the… thought of the experience to come daunting. It is understandable to us all that you are somewhat… apprehensive. And as Sam has said: I will be useful to help you through the unbelievable pain that must surely ensue during the multitude of hours possibly days that it will take to push the baby out of your body through your…."
"Cas!" "Castiel! That's enough!" "Let's just stop that there, shall we?" Jody's calm voice cut through the slightly frantic efforts of Sam and Claire to stop the angel from talking. "It'll be fine, Dean. Don't let him worry ya. You just have to concentrate on finally being able to hold that baby… your baby… in your arms when it's done and everything else gets immediately forgotten, believe me."
Dean blinked gratefully at her: "Thanks, Sheriff. I'm… actually quite happy not thinking about… that bit at the moment. But… erm… I appreciate what you said… and I appreciate all of you… being here… It means…
I mean…
What d'ya think?"
Much to Sam's disgust, this last was addressed to the solemn Benjamin.
Who shrugged his gloriously-clad shoulders in response: "I've taught you everything I feel you need to know," he considered, "and we have everything in place for the birth, and I'll be there to see you safely through that, no argument." The stern tone put behind these words left all the newcomers in no doubt that this was something not up for discussion. "It's just a matter of waiting now. She wouldn't have let them in this room if she felt there was a threat… but… the only important thing is that you are kept as comfortable and calm as possible… stress is not good for you: your blood pressure tends to rise at the slightest perceived anxiety and you do seem to be increasingly worried about what is to come despite my assurances of how natural the process is…"
"He will be comfortable!" Sam saw his best chance and took it. "And calm. More than here in this ratty old cabin in this old bed! He'll be in his own room, in his own home… our home… with his own things around him… and we'll be there to look after him!
Come home, Dean! Please!"
The younger Winchester worked his eyes like he had never purposely used them before, feeling momentarily guilty as he did… then jubilant as he saw his brother's body sag a little…
And absolutely euphoric as Dean finally gave a big sigh of near defeat.
"You sure, Sammy? I mean… I know we talked just now and what you said... but… and I don't know what's coming or how we'll manage or…
Man… I'm just a little… I don't…" The older brother was hesitating… ashamed to admit that he was more than a little terrified of the thought of what was going to have to happen..
"It's okay, Dean." And Sam was changing his stance to be able to put one long arm around his brother's shoulders in support: his other hand going naturally to support the bump while hoping to feel another slight movement beneath the skin. "It's going to be okay. I'll be right there with you: I'm in this for the long run. Just come home back to the Bunker. Castiel can fetch Benjamin when it's time," he realised suddenly, "If anything were to suddenly happen, I mean." the angel instantly nodded in agreement and started to open his mouth but wasn't given the chance to interrupt, "or we can get you back here when it's nearer the time… if this is where you feel you should be, I'll make sure you're here. I really will…"
Sam paused… "Just come back to the Bunker. Please.
It's just not home without you there."
The moment seemed to hang in the air just as his last words did…
And then Dean was looking up at his younger brother, who still had his arm around him, and meeting his eyes.
Looking straight into them.
Sam immediately dropped the puppy-dogs to instead stare directly back into the older man's green irises, and allow Dean to see the sincerity in his own: the truth behind his words…
His brother's eyebrows furrowed together as if still slightly perplexed at something when he looked at the younger man… but then he inhaled again, and slowly nodded: "Okay, Sammy. I must admit I've missed my memory-foam…
… and you. Just a little bit."
Sam's dimples turned into a full-on grin of relief: "Missed you too, jerk."
Dean snorted. "Bitch. 'Kay… Okay, Sammy. If you're sure…"
His younger brother hugged him, almost delirious with sudden relief, and wishing they could already be back at the Bunker right then and there: "C'mon then, Dean.
Let's get going home."