D: it's so much fun dropping ice cubes down the back of people's shirts
W: do it to me and you're dead.
D: ...but your reaction is the funniest
W: apparently when I was 3, I pronounced 'firetruck' as 'free f***'
D: dude lol
D: well my mom always wanted to go see Niagra Falls, but I was 4 and struggled with English and pronounced it as 'viagra falls'
W: isn't that kind of the opposite effect of viagra, lmao
W: gonna take my drivers license test in 5 min
W: im gonna faaaail.
W: gonna crash and die
D: you'll do fine
D: on a completely unrelated subject, would you rather be buried or cremated
W: not helping.
D: lol. just shut up and drive.
W: Got you where you wanna go if you know what i mean
W: Got a ride that smoother than a limousine
W: Can you handle the curves? Can you run all the lights?
W: If you can baby boy then we can go all night
D: STOP singing a song full of sexual innuendos based off of what I just said!
W: I'm having a bad day.
D: imagine behind the scenes of the Tellytubbies, okay,
D: Po, the red one, falls down, and you hear a grown man's voice yell 'Sh*t!' from inside the costume.
W: lol thanks bro
W: why is the voice of your gps an Australian guy.
D: research.
W: suuure. ok.
D: getting ready to troll the elevator at the Wayne Enterprises building all day, send me everything you got
W: forget that, I'll be there in 30 minutes.
D: don't you have school today
W: ...
W: will be there in 30 minutes
W: at home depot with my dad.
W: these guys' name tags are worn to hell
W: apparently theres 'Rick' and 'Dick' and I don't know which one to call what
D: Assemble at the three broomsticks if convenient, if inconvenient, time travel there anyway. could be dangerous. bring salt.
W: ...
W: i love you
D: i know.
D: Roy was asking how our first official mission went.
W: and what exactly did you tell him.
D: that we effed sh*t up, but it was awesome.
W: well said.
W: you're gonna get in trouble.
D: you're only in trouble if you get caught
- 30 minutes later -
D: I'm in trouble
D: what is the Wizard of Oz anyway
W: there's this girl dorothy, who whines a lot and has red hair, who end up accidentally killing this one braud with her flying house when she ends up in candyland, and there's this other green lady, and she's like, 'gimme your shoes' and Dorothy is like 'witch please', then theres these flying monkeys and stuff, so dorothy has this epic water fight with the witch and ends up melting her (which is gross cause if water melted her then that means she NEVER showered), and it turns out in the end Dorothy was just, like, totally tripping and none of it was real. Plus she sings and stuff.
D: ...wow.
W: why are you sending me all these pictures. Did you draw that on the fifty dollar bill?
W: are you defacing U.S. currency?
D; in the words of a fallen angel, 'Don't ask stupid questions'.
W: you know thats illegal, right?
D: Yes, well, so is pickpocketing, but - hey! looks whos's a master pickpocket!
D: Paper cuts, stubbed toes, stepping on clippies and legos
D: Few times will you know such pain
D: When you experience any of these
D: The words that come out of your mouth are profane
W: This speaks to me on a spiritual level
(Group Message with Roy, who makes special guest appearance)
R: no but if this guy's name is Robert and I havent met him yet, would it be rude to call him 'Bobby'
R: ?
D: yes. some people don't like their 'shortened' or slang names. Like people calling me 'Richie'. makes me murderous.
R: Duly noted.
W: I still don't get why is Bob short for Robert.
W: and how do you come up with 'Billy' from 'William'?
R: How the heck do you get 'Dick' from 'Richard'?!
W: you ask him nicely.
R: Lmfao. You hella dead, Wally.
R: he's already plotting. Run bro.
Alrighty then! Shoutout to CuzImBatman - I'll be waiting for the million years worth of robins, haha
And Yes, there was a Doctor Who Reference in the last chapter! I'm not a whovian but thought it'd be fun to throw in there!
Continue to troll people with these, guys, and don't forget to tell me about it! A new reviewer, Kira Sema, trolled her cousin with a bunch of them, and her cousin thought she was high - that was hilarious to read about. KEEP TROLLING EVERYONE!
And in regards to the last chapter - seriously, am I right about the family reunions? I mean, who ARE those people? I've only been to one of them, but it was an absolutely miserable day! And it was only my mom's side of the family!