A/N: To me, one of the most traumatic plots in MC was Philip Stroh's escape, especially after they said on the show that he was probably hiding in Cyprus which is only a short flight from where I live. I know he's a fictional character, but Billy Burke did such a great job portraying him that I found it threatening nevertheless. Also, Stroh's escape reminded me of a nationally-known serial rapist who was active in my area when I was a child. He attacked young girls and adult women, and I remember always looking over my shoulder when I walked down the street and the constant fear I felt. A decade after he was captured, he escaped from prison, which brought back all those feelings. He was caught three weeks later and had time added to his sentence so he won't be out anytime soon, but the similarity between Stroh and him touched the same emotions in me. So when I wrote about Sharon's reaction in this chapter, while some of it was depicted in the show, I also injected a lot of my own experience. Call it therapy, if you will.

And on a lighter topic, I'd like to thank blossom-of-snow for keeping up with this story, always giving me useful advice and being damn good at editing. Love you, sis!

For Sharon Raydor, helplessness was a peculiar and unfamiliar feeling. In almost every situation in her life, there was always something that could be done, a remedy that could be found or an action that could be taken. The well-planned and perfectly executed escape of Philip Stroh initially seemed manageable. Sharon was sure that he'd be caught, if not after a few hours, then maybe a few days. When hours turned into days and weeks into months, the feelings of helplessness, terror, and alarm set under her skin, making her uncomfortable in her own body.

Rainie turning down a security detail made Sharon feel even less safe, and Sharon found herself frequenting the shooting range, just to make sure that should the elusive Philip Stroh, or one of his accomplices show up on her doorstep, she'd be quick enough to end him right there and then.

The many sleepless nights affected Sharon's body in many different ways. Her hair lost its luster, her eyesight became bleary, her skin paled, her appetite waned, and her shoulders slumped a little more with the weight of every passing day. She withdrew from what little social life she had to guard the fort, and spent most of her free time reviewing the investigation files, looking for clues for where Stroh may have fled and what his plan may be. Lying to Rainie about the undercover security detail also made her feel choked. She hated deceiving Rainie, but she felt that it was necessary to guarantee her daughter's safety.

Anxiety was consuming, and while some days Sharon felt like she was close to a breaking point, seeing Rainie able to walk around, go to work, and spend time with her friends like any normal girl her age was Sharon's silver lining.

Sharon realized just how frayed her ends were when Rainie bounded up to her with a big white envelope that came in the mail.

"Sharon, look!" Rainie gasped, and Sharon could see the fear in her daughter's eyes. The girl handed her the envelope, and Sharon exhaled in relief. It was a letter from UCLA Art School. "I don't think I have the guts to open it." Rainie's front teeth burrowed into her bottom lip. "Can you do it for me?"

"Are you sure? This is a moment you might want to remember."

"I'm sure. Go ahead, please." Rainie bit her fingernails and stared down the possibility of a future.

Sharon carefully opened the envelope and took the letter out. Her eyes quickly skimmed over the first few lines until she reached the words she was searching for.

"What does it say?"

"You got in, Rainie!" Sharon squealed. "You got into art school!"

Tears sprung out of Rainie eyes as Sharon handed her the letter so she could read it for herself. She wrapped her arms around Sharon who pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her daughter's head.

"Thank you, Sharon. None of this would have been possible without your help," Rainie said, wiping her tears with her fingertips.

"It's your talent, sweetheart. Own it, because that's what got you in," Sharon replied.

"I'm serious, Sharon. I never allowed myself to imagine anything good for myself before you. You gave me everything that I needed to get to this moment, and I am so thankful to you. You can't even imagine."

Sharon smiled at her daughter. This was proof for Rainie that hard work and tenacity paid off, and she hoped that Rainie would enjoy her time in college just as much as Sharon enjoyed hers. In the meantime, there were still several more months before school started, and two more months until Rainie finished working on the set of Badge of Justice.

The happiness Sharon felt was short-lived. As soon as the realization struck her that attending college would make it so much easier for Philip Stroh to harm Rainie, she knew sleep would evade her further. On Badge of Justice, security was tighter. However, at UCLA, Rainie would be completely exposed, and any of Stroh's accomplices would be able to get to her easily.

Sharon spent the night trying to figure out how to implement Rainie's undercover security detail at UCLA. She didn't care that the next school year was months away; one could not be over-prepared.

She could barely get out of bed the following morning, and the feeling of grogginess and dizziness accompanied her all day long. When Lieutenant Provenza shook her awake after she fell asleep on her desk, she realized just how exhausted she felt.

"I don't know what it is, Captain, but it seems to me that you should go home and get some rest," Provenza said to her. He was always direct, but this time he was right. She was not able to function in this situation, and if Stroh or one of his accomplices decided to take action against her, she would be too disoriented to take a good shot at him. Maybe that was what he was trying to do, she thought. Maybe Stroh was trying to attrite her, so she loses her focus and makes bad decisions out of stress and fear. Realizing just how badly she needed to pull herself together, Sharon decided to take Provenza's not-so-subtle advice and leave work early.

As soon as she walked through the condo door, Sharon knew that something was wrong. There were clothes scattered on the floor of the living room and down the hall, and some items on her desk were thrown on the floor. Goosebumps formed on her skin, and a chill went down her spine. As she walked down the hall, gun in hand, she caught a weak whiff of an unfamiliar scent that became stronger as she came nearer to Rainie's room. A loud bang coming from inside the room made her jump, and her pulse quickened. Whoever was in her house, they were in Rainie's room, and if they were waiting for her daughter to come home so they could tackle and harm her, they were about the regret it. With this thought in mind, Sharon kicked the door open and burst into the room, ready to shoot the perpetrator, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Her eyes snapped open at once, and she found herself looking into Rainie's eyes. It took her a moment to regulate her breath and understand that she was lying on the couch in her spotless living room.

"Sharon, are you okay?" Rainie asked her softly.

"I guess," she replied and sat up, feeling her head spin as she did. "I had a nightmare, that's all."

"Yeah, you had a terrified expression on your face," Rainie said.

"Thanks for waking me up," Sharon smiled at her daughter, who was standing before her safe and sound. "I'm not even sure when I fell asleep." She threw a glance at her watch. It was almost 3:00 a.m. "What are you still doing awake?"

"I was too excited about UCLA to fall asleep," Rainie said. "I'm so happy."

Sharon smiled. No matter how scared she was for Rainie's safety and how haunted her dreams were by Philip Stroh's escape, Sharon was still proud of her daughter.

"You know, it seems like we both have issues with our sleep tonight. Do you think that it might be helpful if you came to sleep in my bed?" she suggested.

"Sure, maybe sleeping next to you will help me calm down enough to fall asleep," Rainie replied.

Sharon got off the couch and they walked to the bedroom together where they both crawled under the sheets and curled against each other. It's been a couple of months since the last time they shared a bed, and having Rainie sleeping by her side made Sharon a little less worried. As long as Rainie was in the same room with her, Sharon knew she would sleep better. Even if she told herself it was safer for Rainie to sleep in the same bed with her, Sharon knew she was the one who needed protection from the nightmares that dictated her life.

-TBC-

As always, I'd love to know what you think about this chapter, so feel free to leave a review or send me a PM.