A/N: I'd like to thank blossom-of-snow for the awesome editing of this story.
Video chats could never replace Sharon's beautiful children's physical presence, but it was the next best thing. When the two of them were on the same Skype call, Emily and Ricky invalidated the thousands of miles between them. While it irritated her when her children were young, Sharon enjoyed listening to their banter she now terribly missed.
Sharon usually looked forward to her Skype calls with Emily and Ricky. Today, however, dread eclipsed her usual excitement. She had never found a steady enough partner for her kids to know about, and considering how her older children reacted to the news about her divorce from their father, and Rainie's reaction to Andy staying over, she feared the worst.
"Hey, Mom!" Ricky was the first to log on. She noticed the familiar collection of Funko Pop dolls on the shelf behind him has grown since the last time they had a video call. She didn't quite understand the odd obsession with the dolls until Rainie began collecting them too, and took the time to explain it to her.
"Hi, my darling. How are you?" Sharon almost winced at the forced levity in her voice.
Her son shrugged. "Nothing unusual. Work is great. How's everything on your end?"
Emily logging into their chat distracted both of them from the question.
"Hi, honey."
"Oh, hey! Look who finally decided to show up."
Emily rolled her eyes. "Like you're always on time."
Sharon could tell Ricky was about to retort and decided to interject. "What really matters is that you're both here. There's something I need to tell you."
Frowning, Emily drummed her fingertips on the kitchen table. "Is everything okay, Mom?"
"Yeah, Mom. What's going on?" Ricky added, leaning closer to the screen.
Sharon held up a hand, ignoring the knot in her stomach. "Nothing is wrong. Actually, I have some good news."
"You're not getting us another sister, are you?" Ricky teased.
"No," Sharon chuckled. That was Ricky's sense of humor at its best. "But you're not far off."
"New car?" Ricky asked before Sharon could continue.
"A new house, maybe?" Emily boarded the guessing train.
Sharon shook her head. "I started dating someone recently, and it's going really well."
When Ricky couldn't conceal his shock long enough to speak, Emily filled the silence. "That's nice, Mom. Is it someone we know?"
"She's not dating Dad."
"I wasn't thinking that," Emily said and Sharon prayed that was the truth.
"Who other than dad do we know in LA who's in the same age group as Mom?" Ricky arched an eyebrow.
"Who said it's someone her age, you silly –"
"Mom, are you dating someone younger?" Ricky asked, and his tone clearly expressed how absurd the idea seemed to him.
Sharon snorted. "No," Had she not been nervous, she probably would have let them continue this amusing profile of her mystery boyfriend. "But in fact, you do know him. Or at least, you both met him."
Sharon could see the wheels turning in her children's brains.
"No way. Really, Mom?" Quite expectedly, Ricky was the first to figure it out.
"What? Who is it?" Emily asked.
"Mom is dating a co-worker," Ricky said.
"What? Who? That grumpy old lieutenant?" Emily's brow creased as she tried to think back to her last visit in LA.
"I am dating my lieutenant," Sharon confirmed. "But I'm not sure it's the same one you're thinking of, Em. I'm dating Andy Flynn."
"Isn't it against the rules to date your underlings?" Ricky wondered.
"Not if you report it to your supervisor."
"Cool. Lieutenant Flynn seems like a decent guy. Is it serious?" Ricky asked.
"Andy and I are serious about each other, yes."
"How long have you been dating him, Mom?" Emily asked.
"Almost two months," Sharon said, tightening her cardigan around her middle. "I didn't want to tell you before I knew it was getting somewhere."
"I don't know the lieutenant as well as Ricky does, but I am very happy for you, Mom. You deserve someone who will treat you well. I hope he does."
Sharon thanked Emily. Being the oldest, Emily remembered the most of her parents 'broken marriage'. Of course she was worried.
"And let him know that if he misbehaves, he'll have to deal with us."
Ricky's promise made Sharon smile, but he insisted that he was serious.
"Does Rainie know?" Emily asked.
Sharon pursed her lips as she nodded. "I hope she'll warm up to him eventually. She liked Andy before we started dating. I think her past experiences are making her a bit cautious about him." Sharon hated to think of the ever-present animosity Rainie displayed towards Andy. As sensitive to Rainie's trauma as Sharon tried to be, the way Rainie treated Andy confused Sharon. If Rainie had hated Andy so much before, Sharon would have handled the situation differently. Being in a relationship with Andy felt so right to Sharon, but every time they spent time together while Rainie was around, the girl acted as if Sharon was committing a crime.
"Do you want us to talk to her about it?" Ricky suggested.
"No, honey. She'll come to terms with it in her own time," Sharon replied.
"Well, for whatever it's worth, I am really glad you found someone you like," Ricky said.
"Thank you, honey." Ricky and Emily's genuine happiness for her reassured her that she was not doing anything wrong by dating Andy, as Rainie made her feel.
After her children got all their question answered, it was Sharon's turn to ask about their lives and any plans to come for a visit in the near future. She was happy to learn that they were satisfied with their lives, and even though they hadn't planned on visiting home soon, they both promised to try and make it home for Thanksgiving or Christmas.
Ending those calls always hurt Sharon. Not having the two of them close created a void in her heart, and with so many changes disrupting her life, she especially longed for her children. After she hung up, Sharon hid the tears dribbling down her face by burying her face in her palms.
The sound of the key turning in the lock startled her, and she quickly wiped her wet cheeks on the end of her sleeve. Rainie apparently caught her crying at her desk and walked over to her.
"I miss them too," the girl said and wrapped her arms around Sharon's shoulders. "It sucks that they don't visit very often."
Sharon sniffled and rested her head against Rainie's side. Her relationship with Andy had put such a strain on her relationship with Rainie that displays of affection like this had become a rare occurrence. It felt good having Rainie's arms around her, even for just a fleeting moment.
"How was your day?" she asked when Rainie pulled away from her.
"Nothing special," Rainie shrugged. Rainie found summer job at a comic store, and while she had been excited about it initially, Sharon could tell that her daughter was ready for school to start again.
"Still haven't found a comic book you like?" Sharon teased her.
Rainie crossed her arms over her chest and began pacing in front of the desk. "Everyone cares about Batman or Spiderman or some male superhero. But where are all the female superheroes? Actually, why do they need to be superheroes? They could be just normal girls who do brave things, you know?"
"Isn't that what your comic strip is about? Strong female characters who do amazing things?" Sharon asked.
"Yes, but no one is interested in it," Rainie's shoulders slumped.
"Is there no traffic on your site?" Sharon asked. Rainie created a website to showcase her art, and published a weekly comic strip called "Rusty Nails". Sharon followed it, not only because she was a supportive mother, but also because Rainie's comics were genuinely interesting and she enjoyed the heroine of the story Rainie created.
"Not as much as I'd like," Rainie said.
"It can take some time until people come upon your art. You gotta be patient," Sharon advised her.
Rainie stopped pacing and shrugged. They'd had this conversation many times before, and Rainie's reactions were becoming increasingly less enthusiastic. "Anyway, I'm going to a yoga class. And then I'll probably stay for the meditation class, so I have to go." The armor was back on.
A few minutes later, she emerged from her room, dressed for her class and carrying her yoga mat.
Even though Rainie loved yoga, Sharon noticed that Rainie had been attending yoga classes more often than she had before and she had a pretty good idea why. The conversation they had earlier that week at the breakfast table still made Sharon feel guilty, and she knew that even if Rainie tried to appear unaffected by it, she was hurt by the things that Sharon said to her.
"Rainie, before you leave –" Sharon stood and took a deep breath. Elton John wasn't wrong when he said sorry seemed to be the hardest word.
Rainie's hand hovered over the doorknob, but she eventually turned to look at Sharon.
"I want to apologize for what I said to you the other day," Sharon said. "I never meant to hurt you, and I don't really think that you were trying to sabotage my relationship with Andy."
"I know you didn't mean it. And I'm sorry for the things I said, too." Rainie sighed and looked downwards. "Men scare me. And you bringing Andy home – I don't mind it that you have sex. I mind that he stays over."
Sharon rounded the desk and approached Rainie. "I like Andy a lot, and I think the feeling is mutual. And when you have feelings for someone, you don't just want them to disappear after you have sex with them. You want to cuddle and talk, and just be next to each other. Do you understand what I mean?"
"I get it. Andy is more than a friend with benefits," Rainie sighed. "And it's not that I hate him. I'm just scared, you know?"
"That he'll hurt you?"
Rainie's bottom lip began trembling, and Sharon could see her daughter's front teeth sinking into it forcefully to avoid crying.
"Sweetheart, it's okay to be scared," Sharon said and cupped Rainie's face. "When Andy and I started dating, I was terrified. I have a track record with abusive men, even before Jack."
"If you mean Alfie –"
"Not Alfie. My father had a drinking problem, and he was verbally abusive towards my mother and me. I grew up with a poor image of what a man should be, and I ended up marrying a man who had even bigger problems than my father had," Sharon said.
"That sucks. Sounds like your childhood was almost as bad as mine."
"In some ways, yes."
"Why didn't your mother leave him, if he was so bad?" Rainie asked.
The question had tormented Sharon for years, and even her experience with Jack couldn't provide a complete answer. "Because she loved him, and because we're Catholic, and at the time, divorce or even a legal separation was not something the church looked at favorably."
"Is that why it took you such a long time to divorce Jack?"
"That was one of the reasons," Sharon replied. "But that's not the point of me telling you about all of this. The point is that it's easy for us to repeat patterns of behavior we adopted in the past. It's easy to go back to an environment where we know how to navigate. For me, it's men who put me at the bottom of their priority list, and for you, it's pushing people away and letting anger consume you."
"Are you trying to lecture me about breaking the pattern? Because you're not doing that very well yourself," Rainie said. "Andy is an alcoholic too."
"Maybe I have a type, but after getting to know Andy, I know he's learned from his mistakes, and he is honest and caring, and he respects my wants and needs," Sharon explained. "I can't say that I broke my pattern, but I definitely put a dent in it."
Rainie shrugged, but this time her expression did not match her feigned indifference.
"In the same way, if you continue to let your pattern control you, it's going to be very difficult for you to find people you can trust. You have to stop pushing people away. That includes Andy and me, and even friends like TJ," Sharon replied. "And it's not going to be easy, I know. But maybe you could discuss that with Dr. Joe and see if he has any suggestions on how to let go of your fears and begin to trust people around you."
"I'll think about it," Rainie said.
"Good," Sharon caressed her daughter's cheek with the back of her hand. "I love you, honey."
"I love you too, Mom."
It took Sharon a moment to register what Rainie said, and her daughter was already out of the condo by the time she realized it. The tide of emotions that rose inside her made her hands shake, and tears filled her eyes. Mom. The word echoed in her ears repeatedly. Mom. Sharon didn't realize until now how badly she longed to hear the word coming out of her youngest daughter's mouth. She never expected Rainie to say it, but now that she had, her heart overflowed with joy and gratitude. She hoped Rainie would say it again soon, but even if she didn't Sharon was happy that she heard it at least once in her lifetime.
-TBC-